Intimately.co

Intimately.co is an online retailer that sells undergarments and lingerie for women with disabilities.

[intimately-co]

About the Author: Krystal is an Intimately model. She has also been in NYFW and is Ms. Wheelchair New York 2020.

What is your favorite fashion hack?

I learned at a very young age difference that costume jewelry needs to be preserved or it will turn green, my favorite fashion hack is painting clear finger nail polish on the item.. it makes it last longer.

What’s your favorite piece of clothing?

I am tomboy fly... give me a nice warm comfy hoodie and I’m the happiest girl in the world.

What color do you feel the most powerful in?

I feel most powerful in red because it commands respect. I feel most like myself unapologetically in purple because it reminds me that my lineage is strong and I shall always treat myself like a queen.

Which store do you shop at that is the most accessible to shop in?

I really like hole in the wall boutiques, but they are rarely accessible so the alternative is H & M there layout is spacious and if I do need assistance the customer service is typically amazing.

What song is your pump up song?

BC (Before Covid-19) my go to song was Realer by Meg Thee Stallion but now the song that gets me going in the AM is Good Day by Surfaces.

What’s your ideal night in look like? Favorite tv shows to binge watch? An ideal night starts with DoorDash order, something Mexican or Italian, filled by comfortable clothing such as a onesie or something 100% Cotton. I would binge watch anything from old movies from the early 1900’s or shows based on the 1700’s and 1800’s.

What do you wish people knew about you that they don’t? One thing I wish that people knew about me is that my wheelchair is not a prison sentence, my life is a beautiful struggle and I would not want it any other way (minus these student loans, lol).

Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.co

[intimately-co]

About the Author: Dani (@onearmdan) is a track runner and Nordic skier. Born without most of her left arm, she grew up trying to hide her disability, fearing the judgement of others. Now, she trains for Team USA for Paralympic Track and Field, and proudly shows her arms as she does it.

“What is wrong with her?”

“Why does that girl not have an arm?”“Look!  What happened to her hand?”When you have a physical disability, you become accustomed to people asking questions, staring at you in public, and looking at you as if you are different.Teenage years are already hard enough as a young female.  You are dealing with boys, puberty, self-esteem, and trying to figure out who you are and what you want your life to look like. When I was younger, I hated going into public with my left arm exposed.  I was born without my left hand and forearm, and my arm extends barely past my elbow.  I remember wearing my prosthetic arm in the heat of 100 degree summers, with a long-sleeve shirt on top just so I could avoid people asking me questions when I went in public.  When my friends starting getting boyfriends in middle school and I wasn’t, I blamed it on the fact that I only have one hand.  It was exhausting trying to cover up my hand.  It was in high school when it hit me.  I was a stand-out athlete in my respective sports, and boys started expressing interest in me.  I was comfortable around my friends and classmates, we would even make jokes about the one hand all the time, yet when I still went in public and was around a ton of strangers, I would do anything to hide my left arm.

If my friends loved me the way I was, and my self-esteem was high enough to make jokes about my own disability, why did I let the opinions of people who I did not even know affect me so much?  Why should i care if a stranger stares at me in public?  Do I really make myself uncomfortable just to try to make others more comfortable?Screw it.  No more prosthetic arm.  No more sweatshirts when it was over 100 degrees outside. I realize that for the rest of my life I may get stares in public, I may have to answer constant questions about what happened to my hand, but it is okay.  I am confident in myself enough now that it does not bother me.  

Flash forward and I am now 23 years old.  I am training to qualify for Team USA for Paralympic Track & Field, and I train full-time as an athlete.  While I was younger, I would have done anything to look "normal".  Now, I would not change my limb difference for the world.  It makes me unique, gives me opportunities I may have never had in modeling and athletics, and is a great platform to be able to stand up for the adaptive community.  April is Limb Difference Awareness Month. It is a time to recognize that while some of us may look different, we are still all beautiful and powerful and confident individuals.

Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.co

[slugmoji]

NORMALIZE DISABILITIES.

NORMALIZE DISABLED LOVE.

NORMALIZE RESPECT FOR DISABLED CHARACTERS IN FILM.

NORMALIZE DISABLED COMMUNICATION.

NORMALIZE DISABLED JOY.

NORMALIZE PRIORITIZING ACCESSIBILITY OVER AESTHETICS.

NORMALIZE ACCOMODATIONS.

because being disabled is normal.

[intimately-co]

disability is normal!!!!

[chronicillnesshelp]

I do think that it’s pretty interesting how this coronavirus pandemic has showcased how manufactured inaccessibility is. 

When I was too sick to attend high school, I was told that any distance learning accommodations were impossible and I was forced to drop out. Now, my same high school has switched to online courses. 

When I asked my college’s disability office if they could offer any accommodations for days I was unable to make it to class due to my illness, I was told that it was not possible, and that if I missed more than the allotted amount of days I would be automatically failed. Now, my college is offering numerous online accommodations and any illness related absences are fully excused. 

When I spoke with my college about the physical problems that the increased burden of work study was causing me, they didn’t care, and said I could either work 20 hours a week or not get the money. Now, they’re funding work study for students who are either ill or who are not physically be on campus.

It almost seems like full accessibility isn’t actually impossible, and institutions just don’t want to make the effort to include disabled individuals. 

Somehow, when abled people need accommodations, they’re readily available. 

[intimately-co]

Finding Beauty in Being Different: A Word From a Disabled Athlete

About the Author: Dani (@onearmdan) is a track runner and Nordic skier. Born without most of her left arm, she grew up trying to hide her disability, fearing the judgement of others. Now, she trains for Team USA for Paralympic Track and Field, and proudly shows her arms as she does it.

“What is wrong with her?”

“Why does that girl not have an arm?”“Look!  What happened to her hand?”When you have a physical disability, you become accustomed to people asking questions, staring at you in public, and looking at you as if you are different.Teenage years are already hard enough as a young female.  You are dealing with boys, puberty, self-esteem, and trying to figure out who you are and what you want your life to look like. When I was younger, I hated going into public with my left arm exposed.  I was born without my left hand and forearm, and my arm extends barely past my elbow.  I remember wearing my prosthetic arm in the heat of 100 degree summers, with a long-sleeve shirt on top just so I could avoid people asking me questions when I went in public.  When my friends starting getting boyfriends in middle school and I wasn’t, I blamed it on the fact that I only have one hand.  It was exhausting trying to cover up my hand.  It was in high school when it hit me.  I was a stand-out athlete in my respective sports, and boys started expressing interest in me.  I was comfortable around my friends and classmates, we would even make jokes about the one hand all the time, yet when I still went in public and was around a ton of strangers, I would do anything to hide my left arm.

If my friends loved me the way I was, and my self-esteem was high enough to make jokes about my own disability, why did I let the opinions of people who I did not even know affect me so much?  Why should i care if a stranger stares at me in public?  Do I really make myself uncomfortable just to try to make others more comfortable?Screw it.  No more prosthetic arm.  No more sweatshirts when it was over 100 degrees outside. I realize that for the rest of my life I may get stares in public, I may have to answer constant questions about what happened to my hand, but it is okay.  I am confident in myself enough now that it does not bother me.  

Flash forward and I am now 23 years old.  I am training to qualify for Team USA for Paralympic Track & Field, and I train full-time as an athlete.  While I was younger, I would have done anything to look "normal".  Now, I would not change my limb difference for the world.  It makes me unique, gives me opportunities I may have never had in modeling and athletics, and is a great platform to be able to stand up for the adaptive community.  April is Limb Difference Awareness Month. It is a time to recognize that while some of us may look different, we are still all beautiful and powerful and confident individuals.

Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.co

[intimately-co]

just keep moving forward

Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.co

[intimately-co]

Sense and Sensuality: Chronic Illness Edition

About the Author:

Lori is a writer and model living with EDS. She shares her story with Intimately.co about disability and sex. Read more of her work on https://bud-to-bloom.com/

Living with a chronic illness is like a full-time job, just without the paycheck and days off. Therefore it can be consuming and suffocating and the process of receiving a diagnosis and fighting for treatment whilst juggling every other aspect of life is draining (both emotionally and physically). So it’s no wonder that so many of us disabled folk experience mental health problems alongside our conditions, especially as we live in an ableist society that can be exclusive and ignorant to the issues we face as a result of our disabilities.

I went through quite a dark place a few years ago, and in looking back I see a lot of crossover between attitudes surrounding my conditions and the deterioration of my mental health; which triggered my internalised ableism - thus affecting how I viewed myself and my place in society. I felt lesser than, despite never perceiving other disabled people as such; it was to be a double standard I enforced for some time. I compromised in every area of life, in particular in a relationship, which was incredibly toxic - and during this period of my life, I lost myself completely, and had to work to find who I truly was, and not just what society expected from me, or how other people made me feel. This entailed continuously challenging my internalised ableism and confronting these insecurities in an effort to unpick and rewire a psyche manufactured from trauma and self-neglect.

Although one area I failed to consider was my relationship with sensuality and sexual expression, as I had previously considered this to be something between two or more people; but oh how mislead I was! It’s an incredibly intimate part of our identity which is entirely unique to us; and sometimes we lose this connection because of everything else we have to navigate. However it’s very important for me to maintain this connection - and helped me learn to find unapologetic acceptance, and embrace my entire self with both hands; which has been one of the most freeing experiences of my journey so far.

This meant actively engaging with my sexual health, as I was so focused on the health issues associated with EDS and my comorbid conditions that I failed to consider sexual health with just as much attention, so for the last few months I have been on a mission to change that. My body is something I strive to cherish and feel confident in - so this means I need to embrace the rolls, scars, excess skin, cellulite, and bruises; because my conditions and symptoms do not prevent me from being sexy, and I don’t mean in other people’s eyes, but rather in my own - as I don’t live to solely satisfy others, and I certainly no longer feel a need to hide this big part of my life.

In January my friend Emily and I arranged a photoshoot together in efforts to feel empowered within our own skin, as both of us have struggled with internalised ableism. The shoot certainly lit a spark for me and I have grown quite fond of photoshoots over the past few months and managed to have a mini photoshoot in quarantine, setting up my phone on a timer, using a USB ring light and wearing my favourite lingerie I had a really good time; and it definitely helped lift my spirits.

It highlights the importance to feel empowered within your own skin, comfortable within your disability and the connection with your sexuality - and the way in which we choose to

express this is unique to us, however one thing we all have in common is the need to combine intimacy with accessibility. Because what's more empowering than inclusivity?

Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.co

[evilwriter37]

Why We Need Disability Pride Month

Little known fact, but July is Disability Pride Month. Here are the reasons why this is important.

People have such a narrow view of what disability is and what it looks like. This lack of knowledge causes the harassment of disabled people. It’s the reason I have a pin that says: “I have a hidden disability.”

If people learned that disabilities are not all the same, and that every disabled person looks, feels, and acts differently, there could be more understanding and less harassment.

Disabled people are harassed for parking in handicap spots.

People treat disabled like it’s a bad word that shouldn’t be said.

Disabled people are treated as a burden and less than human. 

We are constantly infantalized and treated like we don’t understand our own condition.

The constant, ableist suggestions. “Have a more positive attitude and you’ll feel better!” Sorry, Becky, but a positive attitude is not going to make any of my physical ailments go away. Also, stop telling disabled people to go gluten free unless they absolutely have to. I have celiac disease and can attest to the fact that a gluten free diet has not helped any of my conditions that are unrelated to celiac disease.

The belittling, the comments of “You don’t look [insert disability here],” “You don’t look sick,” “Of course you can do this thing that you just told me you can’t,” “You don’t need help,” etc.

Disabled people constantly being told that we have to overcome our disabilities. No. That’s not how that works. We have to live with them, find ways to work around them if we can.

Being constantly told that we’re letting the disability win when we need assistance or need to rest, like taking care of ourselves is weak. It’s not, and if we didn’t take care of ourselves, we’d be dead.

Abled people acting like they know more about someone’s disability than the disabled person.

The incredibly common bullying of disabled people. 

The use of slurs like “freak” and “retard”.

The use of autistic and other disabilities as a joke and an insult.

Damaging therapies like ABA to “fix” an autistic person and make them act neurotypical. 

Neurotypical-normativity: society wanting people to act and look neurotypical and shaming traits that are not.

The mental and physical abuse of disabled people. 

Telling disabled people that they should be locked up.

The idea in mainstream media that mentally ill people are dangerous and evil.

The use of overall disability in horror as a bad thing.

Cops commonly shoot mentally ill and autistic people because of the traits they are exhibiting.

Disabled people being killed by strangers and family as “mercy killings.”

The requirement to receive financial aid for disability in America is to be poor. If you make too much money, too much being seen as a little over $1,000 a month, you get your aid taken away from you. The American government does not want disabled people to thrive and lead fulfilling lives.

The idea that if you can’t work, you’re useless and a waste of space.

In America, disabled people will get their aid taken away if they get married.

The ridiculous costs of medical care and medication.

The inaccessibility of care and financial aid.

People forcing disabled people to do things they can’t or shouldn’t, things that hurt and damage us. Yes, I can walk up stairs, but it hurts me to do so. Yes, you can touch a pan that just came out of the oven, but it would hurt. Stop making us touch the hot pan.

That’s all I can think of at the moment. Please feel free to add more. 

[intimately-co]

here’s to disability awareness. because there’s not even close to enough of it in our world. 

Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.co

[frihtlae]

♿reminders ♿ [ID: nine pastel pink panels with brown-ish lineart illustrations and text in a thin font below each of them[first row] First panel: illustration of a cane with three flowers on it Text: MOBILITY AIDS ARE NORMALSecond panel: illustration of three flowers with three leaves sticking out Text: DISABLED BODIES ARE NOT PUBLIC PROPERTYThird panel: illustration of a palm with an X symbol Text: DON’T TOUCH THEM WITHOUT PERMISSION[second row] First panel: illustration of a brain with two flowers and a bold question mark Text: STOP YOUR CURIOSITYSecond panel: illustration of a disabled person symbol with a standing person symbol next to it Text: RESPECT DISABLED PEOPLEThird panel: illustration of a lock surrounded by flowers Text: DISABLED PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO PRIVACY[last,third row] First panel: illustration of three bold question marks Text: DON’T ASK INTRUSIVE QUESTIONSSecond panel: illustration of an open eye Text: DON’T STAREThird, last panel: illustration of two hands shaking each other with three flowers on them Text: SUPPORT DISABLED PEOPLE]

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awareness is the key!

Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.co

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remember that no matter how awful it feels, you will never be alone

Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.co

[intimately-co]

Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.coLori is a writer and model living with EDS. She shares her story with Intimately.co about disability and sex. Read more of her work on https://bud-to-bloom.com/

I once viewed my body as my personal Azkaban, something which was impossible to escape from and difficult to navigate. My physical limitations produced a deep seated resentment towards my body, as I believed my disability to be burdensome - however now I have grown to accept my life with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, in spite of how challenging and complex it may be. This self-discovery fuelled a passion within me to embrace who I am, and put myself out there. One of the ways I did this was by exploring sexual relationships, and from this I learned how to prioritise effective communication in my pursuit of pleasure; all the while being mindful of my unique health needs. Although this, like any journey, wasn’t without a few bumps in the road!

TRANSPARENCY

To ensure your needs are supported before, during, and after sex your partner(s) need to have an understanding of what your disability entails, how it affects you, and how to best adapt sex to suit all parties and your respective needs and interests. This doesn’t mean you have to disclose your entire medical history, but if it’s important to consider when moving forward it’s probably best you give it a mention. For example I have an overactive bladder which has resulted in partial urinary incontinence - so I need to wear pads for the majority of the time, and depending on the day, I may need to put a towel down on the bed just in case. So it’s wise to be prepared.

COMMUNICATION

Our state of health is unique to us, and therefore it affects parts of our life differently - such as one’s range of movement, balance, coordination, pain levels, skin sensitivity, and physical strength; so how we have sex is going to depend on these factors. Yet this doesn’t mean we cannot enjoy ourselves or experiment - if anything it’s quite the opposite, as these ‘limitations’ force us to explore ways to overcome obstacles and work as a team. One thing I used to struggle with was trying to find physical comfort during sex, as I have acute pelvic and spinal pain, so certain positions are uncomfortable and offputting, so don’t be afraid to voice how it feels, and what you think would help. A similar example is when I had to begin monitoring my energy levels throughout the day to understand how I could ensure I had the most energy possible to maintain mental presence to have as mindful of an experience as possible, and connect with my body and my partner’s more effectively.

Once I would have felt bad for not being able to do things in the typical way. But our complex needs are not laboursome or a hindrance, and if someone is making you feel like you’re being taxing, demand they leave. Your partner(s) needs to be respectful of your needs, because you deserve nothing less.

Communication regarding our disability and overall wellbeing isn’t a one time thing, and this applies to sex too - it should be constant, as pleasure cannot be achieved when one person is suffering in silence.

Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.co

[intimately-co]

let your soul glow

Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.co

[intimately-co]

Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.coWhen I was a child, I was able-bodied. It wasn’t until about 5 years ago that my health started quickly declining. I have been diagnosed with mitochondrial myopathy, Crohn’s disease, gastrointestinal dysmotility, arthritis, dysautonomia, PCOS, AMPS/CRPS, endometriosis, asthma, Raynauds syndrome, chronic migraines, cyclic vomiting, asthma, and I still have so many undiagnosed and unexplained symptoms. I couldn’t stand for more than a couple minutes or walk more than 200 feet without collapsing to the ground. I needed to be close to a bathroom. I couldn’t function unless I was able to lay down or keep my feet up periodically or I would nearly faint. I had to start asking for accommodations because I couldn’t physically do everything I use to be able to.  

 Before I needed to use a wheelchair my illness was completely invisible to others. When I asked for help people would question me or roll their eyes at me instead of just listening and being understanding. I always felt bad about asking for the accommodations I needed. I would apologize over and over for asking for help. If you think about it, I was really just giving people an excuse for their lack of understanding that disabled people exist and want the same opportunities as able-bodied people.  

 For example, this is a scenario that happens quite frequently. I am shopping in a store and there are stacks of boxes blocking the isle with enough space for someone to walk through but not nearly enough space for a wheelchair to get through. I always get so embarrassed when I have to ask a worker to move the heavy boxes so I can get through. I make myself small and I say quietly, “I’m so sorry but could you maybe help move these boxes a little so I can get through? I’m so sorry. The wheels are a little too wide. Thank you so much. I’m sorry. Thank you again.” Then I apologize to the people behind me who had to wait those couple extra seconds to walk through.

 I make myself seem like the problem when really the boxes blocking the way are the problem. You know how after an argument, you think through all of the things you should’ve said? Well that’s exactly what I do after a situation like this happens. I think to myself, I should’ve sat up tall and said “Excuse me, could you please move these boxes so I can get through? Thank you.” and kept on going. By apologizing many times and thanking them over and over, I am letting the worker believe that they did this great generous deed for me when they should’ve known in the first place to not only leave enough space for able-bodied people to walk through but for disabled mobility device users to get through as well.

 I have to learn how to stop apologizing for things that absolutely do not need to be apologized for. I shouldn’t have to apologize for being disabled. I shouldn’t have to apologize for not being able to walk up stairs or fit through tight spaces with my wheelchair. I should not have to apologize for things that are completely out of my control. To be honest, I am still struggling to feel confident in my body and in my wheelchair. But every time I apologize for needing help is only making it harder for me to feel confident about myself.

 I am a disabled woman and I deserve every opportunity that an able-bodied person would have. So my goal is to learn how to confidently ask for accommodations. I am going to start with sitting up tall and not making myself smaller when asking for help. Then I will ask for what I need without apologizing.

 I think that is a huge step because society teaches disabled people that they make things more difficult which is completely false. For instance when I am in a facility with stairs but no ramp, elevator, or any other form of access, in the back of my mind I think “I must not be welcome here.” No person should ever feel like that.

 Finally, I will politely thank them and move on, the same way any able-bodied person would thank someone for holding a door open for them. I think these are relatively simple steps to learn how to confidently ask for accommodations.

Written by Mara Volle

February 27th, 2020

Instagram: @marasjourney

Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.co

[spongebob-autisticquestions]

If you see someone walking and get into a wheelchair

If you see someone without noticeable aid get park in a disabled spot, but has the disabled badge visible

If you see someone receiving extra support in school, or extra time in exams

If you see someone receiving something that will help make things more accessible for them

If you see someone wearing something “different” for sensory reasons

Do not yell at them

Do not tell them they don’t need it

Do not tell them “real disabled people will need it”

Do not tell them they’re “not disabled”

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Disabilities aren’t always visible. 

[princeofchronicpain]

Access denied: wheelchair metro maps versus everyone else's

Source: The Guardian

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All cities should consider following Washington DC’s lead!

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Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.coDisability stylist Heidi shares with Intimately.co her story and tips about fashion abd beauty for wheelchair users.

Hi, I’m Heidi and I'm a disabled personal stylist. I also run a string of youtube videos, where I help inspire & motivate people showcasing how to live a fulfilling life with a disability I used to run a hair and makeup company, specializing in weddings in and around the UK, until I fell down some stairs in my home, leaving me instantly paralyzed from the chest down. Life as I once knew it was hanging upside down on a string and it took a while to accept & adjust to my new way of living. However, I was soon quick to realize that just because I was now destined to be in a wheelchair, I certainly wasn’t going to be defined by it. I wanted people to see the real ‘Heidi‘ & not just ‘Heidi’ in the wheelchair.

I decided to train as a personal stylist, incorporating all my knowledge of hair and makeup as a beauty Specialist. I now offer a bespoke styling service to women who have suffered through adversity, helping them regain their inner style, self-belief & personality. Understanding your body shape and how to dress it, is key to making the most out of your figure. It’s all about illusion dressing. As a wheelchair user, I've learned lots of helpful tips and tricks along the way to make the most out of my seated position. It’s very easy to acquire a slouched position in a wheelchair, which adds to my ‘bloated‘ appearance. Not being able to wear the styles I wanted because of it, was so demoralizing and restrictive, until I discovered the world of corsetry. They cinch me in at the waist, giving me an immediate flat stomach, making the most of my curves and heightening my posture. They are the perfect undergarment for any woman’s closet!

Creating the illusion of height and extension in a wheelchair is a wonderful way to make the most out of a seated body shape. We firstly want to add a little drama to the upper body With the likes of a colorful scarf, a striking top, bold jewelry, a hat or a big bouncy blowdry. Never underestimate the power of a good, everyday hair and makeup routine! Having a fresh, bouncy, blow dry & just simple makeup can do wonders for your self-esteem & appearance! Lastly, color has a dramatic impact on the way you look and also in the way that you feel and how people react to you. The right colors should all work in harmony with one another, giving you an instant facelift. Your eyes will become brighter, your hair shinier and your skin more luminous as opposed to wearing the wrong colors that can be aging & unflattering

Clothes are never just clothes, they are part of our identity and self-expression. Finding the right styles and colors have such a transformational effect on not only The way you look but also in the way you feel. It’s a kind of therapy, a journey to understanding and reawakening the real ‘YOU’. I believe that it’s so important to keep challenging yourself and to be brave in your choices in order to rebuild your self-worth, especially after any kind of life changing event. It’s all about kick starting the new YOU and can be applied to anyone’s story. Heidi X

Be sure to check out our adaptive underwear and lingerie for all abilities at www.intimately.co

[intimately-co]

how to breathe when you want to give up.