[mirialanlarper]

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[werewolf-transgenderism]

this is fucking killing me bro. computah, show me more hot hockey firefighters whaling on cops

[knightanddaybae]

Ah Paretta. Never change. This dude starts fights and wins every year that he plays in the charity game. And better yet, he doesn't just pick a random cop that's playing. He specifically spends all year researching which ones have beat their spouses or are being investigated for corruption, then mocks them and eggs them on social media for like 6 months straight just to make sure they know ahead of time they're getting their ass beat.

[jellyfishforest135]

Activated them like sleeper agents

[memeuplift]

[elbiotipo]

we don't hate J.J. Abrams enough

[elbiotipo]

Branson Reese, whoever you are, I keep your words in my heart all the time.

[kaijuerotica]

"branson reese, whoever you are" put some respect on the smooth sharks one fear man's name

[staryiu]

uncertain abt where i will be sleeping tonight. ive tucked a smallish dog into my bed. i guess i will curl up in the corner..as an action of love

[wanderingcas]

when you get an ao3.org comment where someone quotes fic lines back to you?? unparalleled. brain exploding. best feeling in the world

[midnightssea]

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

[shinraalpha]

i do think lobbying for data centres over climate goals should be considered a crime against humanity btw

[podcastwizard]

saw a comment that misspelled “kind gesture” as “kind jester” and am now imagining a beautiful world where we praise good samaritans by calling them kind jesters. good on you, you gentle fool. you’ve made the world a sweeter and sillier place.

[andoutofharm]

“this appears to be a long document save time by reading a summary using ai assistant” I Would Rather Die. Never Talk To Me Or My Family Ever Again I Am Warning You For The Last Time

[stargazersasha1]

if ur a trans girl and ur partner is not an ardent transfeminist frankly you need to dump their bitch ass. you can and will find better partners. i promise. i love you

[stargazersasha1]

mature content

[butcherdyke]

[whyenn-reader]

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

[muppetshow2026]

i genuinely feel like im being edged

[evangelionreference]

i can’t stop thinking about the time my roommate and i asked our insanely ripped neighbor brian who wore flip flops year round and sunglasses on the back of his head for help with carrying a solid wood dresser up to our apartment. he wanted to get his son who was home from college to come help too so he takes out his phone and goes, “siri, call christian christianson” and turns speaker phone on while we stand there sort of stunned by the name and after a few rings cc answers, “what the hell do you want” and brian just hangs up without responding and is all, “kids, am i right” then carries the dresser up four flights of stairs pretty much by himself. we offered him a six pack of rainier as thanks which he immediately opened in our kitchen and downed 2/6 beers in 10 mins while telling us about his 1989 dodge ram 1500 he was trying to get his son to restore with him to no avail. really nice guy. we never saw his son before he went back to school but any time i ask my roommate for help with lifting stuff or reaching something he says, “siri, call christian christianson” and we reminisce about brian and his truck.

[infectiouspiss]

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.