so romeo

he/him - 27 stream eliot & elcee on spotify

[figarooney]

welcome to my lil blog :)

i’ve been blogging fandom and funny stuff since like 2012 with some big hiatuses. this has basically become a heated rivalry blog these days

if you do anything for me, click here to check out my music that i create with my best friend

we have a new EP coming out on July 26th of our folk-punk protest music called Uncle Sam, I’m Growing Weary

if you want a sneak peek at some of the songs, you can find videos of them on our tiktok, instagram, and youtube

thanks for sticking around <3

[un-monstre]

Bloopers are movie aftercare and it’s fucked up that we got rid of them

[syekick-powers]

extremely underrated subgenre of tumblr post: when someone makes a general statement about something, and another person offers a counter-statement that's just completely nonsensical, and the OP just agrees instantly even if it makes no sense at all

examples:

[plumbewb]

hear me out…

[punkrock-bottom]

“Hear me out” and it’s the most conventionally attractive alien father figure you’ve ever seen

[lazydelusions]

[peachdoxie]

[kingscrown666]

I mean? Yeah? Gantu is obviously conventionally attractive

Deep voice, big muscles, Tall

Like. What am i missing here?

[get-thee-to-a-shrubbery]

honey he has a fish for a head

[tartrazeen]

We don't know it's a fish

[salamanding]

dysphoric tonight :(

[salamanding]

fascinating that this is getting attention right now. im sorry to everyone who relates. hoping and praying for body modification magic for us all.

[salamanding]

oh yeah anyway pls donate to my fundraiser for real surgery that does exist 👉👈

Donate to Robin's gender-affirming surgery fund, organized by Robin Benich

Hi, I'm Robin! I've been transitioning for about 5 years now and am finally taking … Robin Benich needs your support for Robin's gender-affi

[normal-about-hollanov]

ok. I'm going to try to take a crack at explaining some of the intricacies of Shane's (and Ilya's to a certian extent) Emotional Saw Trap for those of you who are unfamiliar with the culture of hockey. hockey is drag. but absolutely no one will admit to that. hockey is the performance of masculinity to a degree so high they loop back around and reinvent the gay wheel. hockey men regularly do things that anywhere outside the closed loop they would be seen as queer. they call each other babe. they walk each other like dogs. literally. they kiss often. they regularly get pair bonded in a way that is drastic for their well being if they're separated. but while they're doing all that they're also spewing homophobia like nearly no other group. so for someone like shane, it becomes performing masculinity AND performing pseudo gay, all the while having to wholly smother The Actual Gay Part. get my boy out of there he's in hand crafted super hell.

[birdplushie]

often you will see things online where you just have to be like "what a strange thing to say" or "i don't think that's true :)" to yourself and try to move on or you will lose your mind

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

the thing about ilya is that he is so funny and beautiful.... and he is so sad.....

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

@shaneposting and his dad is so hard on him....

[absoluteconceptofbeauty]

How about Other people start worrying about how I perceive them

[yellow-cat]

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

[hudconvent]

hudson and connor are two good looking young men now but just wait until theyre like 40 oh my god and we get to be there for all of it

[armandology]

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

[snowsmoked]

Even after they come out, Shane is a private person. So is Ilya. And, look, Shane is very happy that the centaurs are so accepting. He really, really has to remind himself how relieved and happy he is about it. He also remembers that this is how locker rooms are. As captain of the metros, the amount of times he had to tell off a player for showing pictures of their girlfriend's breasts or ass to other players was uncomfortably high.

So he really should have expected the question, "so who is, you know, the man?"

"Excuse me?"

"Dude, you can't ask that," a very progressive Young advised. "You gotta ask who's the top. Not the man."

Shane exhaled slowly. He loves his team he loves his team he loves his team.

"That is private," Shane said firmly. "And inappropriate in the workplace."

He was, of course, largely ignored. And while neither him nor Ilya really enjoyed their team, their friends, the internet, and homophobic players guessing their bedroom arraignments, Shane was surprised that nearly everyone got it wrong.

The general consensus what that Shane was the man. His going out outfit was usually jeans and a t-shirt, Ilya's was tight leather pants and a leopard print with four buttons undone. When they drank, Shane got a beer and Ilya either got shots or the sweetest cocktail they had. Ilya was more flamboyant, Shane was more reserved. Ilya liked to bake, Shane liked to grill.

And yes, Shane was aware why all these seemingly innocuous personality traits accumulated to make Shane the man and Ilya the girl. Still, it didn't stop it being generally annoying, offensive, and uncomfortable. Nonetheless, Shane liked finding the silver lining in that this was something just for them to know.

Ilya finds it more amusing then Shane. And, like most things, tries to use it to his advantage.

"Shaaaane, carry my bag," Ilya held out his hockey bag.

"No."

"I can't believe you treat your girlfriend like this."

~*~

"Is it a happy bouquet or an 'i'm sorry' one?" Holmsberg asked as he and the rookies peered over Young's phone. "Get the all roses one."

"That's the most expensive one!"

"Dude."

"Shane," Ilya whined, calling their attention to him. "Why don't you ever buy me flowers?"

"That's messed up, dude," LaPointe shook his head.

"I'll buy you roses, Roz." Wyatt grinned.

"You will not," Shane grumbled.

~*~

"Ah," Ilya winced as he lowered himself on the bench.

"You okay?" Shane asked him. He had taken a hard check into the boards early in the game and, despite reassuring Shane he was fine, he knew his hip was killing him.

"Fine," Ilya said predictability. "Just sore. Will be fine in a minute."

"Hey," Zane nudged Shane's shoulder. "Go easy on him on game days, okay? We need him."

"Go easy?" Shane's eyebrows drew together. "What do you - Oh! No, that isn't - he - I didn't -"

"It's fine, man. Whatever you two-"

"No!" Shane interrupted. "He's still sore off of Richard's check - Not - Ilya, stop laughing!"

~*~

"Doesn't it bother you?" Shane asks Ilya one day.

"What?"

"That everyone assumes you're, you know," Shane gestured, a cute little blush on his cheeks. "The girl."

"There is no girl," Ilya raises his eyebrows and palms Shane through his pants. "I would know."

"Asshole," Shane scoffs. "You know what I mean."

"I know," Ilya smiled. "But no. It does not bother me."

"Why not?"

"Because it's hot," Ilya lifted his hands, over Shane's chest and up to his face. "That people can't even imagine you like this."

Ilya dips to kiss his neck and Shane's eyes flutter shut.

"Makes no sense," Ilya continued, hands roaming down to Shane's ass. "To me, I know this immediately."

"F-fuck off, you did not."

"Oh, I did," Ilya gripped his chin, forcing Shane to look at him. "I see you... those beautiful freckles and I know how desperate you are for it. So obvious. Thought everyone was looking at this boy thinking how good he would look getting fucked. How well he would take it."

"Ilya..."

"Shh," Ilya patted his face. "But I think is better this way. That only I get to even imagine you like this. Only I get to have it."

"Only you," Shane agreed readily, hands flying to the zipper on Ilya's jeans.

"Only for me," Ilya agreed, letting Shane take down his pants and boxers. He pressed down on Shane's shoulders, the slightest pressure getting him to sink down, eyes already heavy. Ilya ran his hand through Shane's soft hair, watching the gold of his wedding ring catch the room's low light. "Only for me. Forever."

[lavenderprose]

My absolute gospel truth and I'm sorry this is so sappy but--where I'm living, Ilya fully changes his name to Hollander when they get married, like just fully legally changes it. And despite the fact that he continues to use Rozanov professionally ("Just like J. Lo," Ilya says.) everyone who knows them personally obviously knows what Ilya's legal name is and also assume it's a way to kind of stick it to his shitheel father. To this end, and kind of as a joke at first, people start referring to their two-person unit as The Hollanders ("Okay, the Hollanders are in room 508" etc.) but it becomes steadily less and less a joke when neither Shane or Ilya really seems to think of it as one. Ilya especially seems to genuinely love it. He'll say shit like "Oh yes the Hollanders will be there" when asked if they're coming to a barbecue like they live in a postcard. He LOVES to give his name as Ilya Hollander and he LOVES to book reservations under 'Misters Hollander' and he LOVES to say the words 'Shane and Ilya Hollander' out loud with his mouth. I also think that for their last game together in the league Ilya and Shane wear jerseys that say S. Hollander 24 and I. Hollander 81 and it's like. An end of an era type thing. And they frame the jerseys.

[thoughtsthinksandthings]

Headcanon that baby Shane has a slight accent when speaking English, and it's for a super unexpected reason.

A few weeks post-partum, Yuna decided that their son should be bilingual. Yuna speaks to Shane in Japanese, and David speaks to him in French. Baby Shane catches on extremely quickly.

It isn’t until baby Shane is enrolled in daycare that the staff notices he has a hard time following directions and making friends.

Yuna and David find it hard to believe. At home, baby Shane is speaking two languages and actively translating between French and Japanese. It’s not until a few weeks later that Yuna comes to the realization.

“David,” she calls from the kitchen after hearing David read Shane a book in French. “Did we ever formally teach this kid English?”

And David is sitting there stunned, because no, no, they did not. Sure, David and Yuna spoke to each other in English, and to their friends and family in English when they visited the house, but they never spoke to Shane in English.

They enroll Shane in an English as a Second Language class (which really should be called English as a third language, in this case). Shane eventually catches up and becomes somewhat fluent in English, but he has this slight hybrid Euro-Asian accent when he speaks it.

[comingatthecottage]

and the thing about TLG!ilya right

is that ilya is actually my sweet precious baby. and i love him so much. and when i think about everything he has been through (and i do not mean playing on a bad hockey team that he signed up to be on--i mean like, finding his mother's corpse when he was twelve) i feel legitimately sad in real life. i have been known to shed human tears thinking about him alone on a new continent with no one to sit with him on her birthday or the anniversary of her death, no one to know his stories about her, no one to share his grief and trauma for so many years

and in the past i've said that ilya loverboy rozanov would never treat #hisshane the way ilya treats shane in those last few chapters. he would never let shane be persecuted out of a job and publicly humiliated and lose all his friends and mock him because of it.

but actually someone who has been through as much as ilya has, and is in such a distressed place... yeah, he might act in all kinds of ways that aren't like him, at any point. he might be a really really bad support system for his husband at the worst time in shane's life, because ilya's innate emotional intelligence and kindness might not be enough to help him figure out how to be a good or even decent partner to shane through this because trauma recovery doesn't happen on a schedule and sometimes one person's trauma means they hurt someone else. and ilya is capable of cruelty, and sometimes anger and selfishness and defensiveness are symptoms of trauma and grief, and sometimes they are wounding to the people we love most at the worst times in thier life, when they most need us at our best

then they have to come back from that. and go forward together. can ilya find and accept the help he needs. can shane forgive him. can they build a life together in the Aftermath not just of being outed and shane's career collapsing but also ilya's failures to support him

that's a book i'd like to read

[fanonicalstuff]

This is an in-universe interpretation of Ilya's behaviour in The Long Game I can get behind. IF, as @comingatthecottage says, it is actually acknowledged as a problem and they can work through it together.

Sometimes people develop maladaptive coping strategies in childhood to deal with stress, trauma and abuse that is out of their control and carry those into adult life without addressing them.

Sometimes people can be selfish and grasp onto things for their own happiness and not recognise (or be in denial) about how they impact others.

Sometimes people end up being their worst selves with the people they love the most.

I think the first step to rehabilitating the Ilya of The Long Game to me is for him to recognise the severity of what happened to Shane and how much he and everyone around him have been downplaying it. And then apologise and CHANGE HIS BEHAVIOUR!

If we are looking for an in-universe explanation for Shane's behaviour at the end of The Long Game (by which I mean, not absolutely losing his shit, including at his husband) then it's that he is repressing and compartmentalising like a motherfucker.

He is pushing everything down, down, down. He's happy! Ilya deserves this after all his suffering! A marriage is a team, right? It doesn't matter who has the bigger pay or the leadership role. The fact that all of Shane's worst nightmares came true, his accomplishments have been devalued and his integrity and reputation is in tatters - that's just the haters, don't listen to them. It's not actually that bad. In fact, being outed was for the best! Don't worry, everything is totally fine!!!!

My personal take is that it's not a good book and Reid doesn't actually like or respect Shane as a character, but we work with what we've got!

[comingatthecottage]

@fanonicalstuff i really like the way you put all of this! my take is not so much that Reid has animus towards Shane as a character (although i certainly think that's an opinion that the information we have would support...) as that Reid is not a very skilled writer, had no plan for where the story would go, and simply did not put much thought into what the "happy ending" of them being on the same team together would entail, and once she'd gotten herself there she wasn't able to get herself out.

i love love love the way you're imagining shane's headspace here. 'in fact being outed was for the best!' in my long!fic i'm writing right now, shane has been through something incredibly traumatic and his whole internal narrative about it is like 'well i'll do my rehab and i'll be fine and then i'll move on, why is everyone trying to make a big deal out of this.' i think shane would always respond to adversity by trying to Focus On What Matters (hockey, ilya) and compartmentalizing what doesn't (his own emotions that he's ill-equipped to handle). under those circumstances i could absolutely see him convincing himself that He's Fine Really

i've been trying to think through exactly how ilya's trauma could intersect with the circumstances in a way that makes him behave this out of character and i think i've got it. one of ilya's core beliefs is that Everyone Will Always Leave Me Alone To Suffer (Just Like Mama Did), and especially that when circumstances become difficult that means he's about to end up completely alone again. and now they're in difficult circumstances, and there's this thread of hope that... is shane coming here? this time, when the person i love is suffering, are they going to draw closer to me, instead of disappearing forever? and then when that does happen and shane is on the centaurs, he's claiming everything is Good and Fine but obviously it isn't, ilya can see shane is miserable even if shane can't. and ilya's subconscious traumatized mind goes "oh, right. he's miserable, it's almost Leave Ilya Alone Forever time. guess i'd better show him the worst of me right now and put that to the test because my inner traumatized 12-year-old is running the show," forgetting that he already tried this in Sochi and in Vegas and shane has stuck with him every time, because it's not like a conscious decision

i think as a writer i would probably resolve this not by having shane crash out but by having ilya say some nasty little jab that makes shane have to stand up and leave the room to get control of his feelings because he doesn't want to show anyone he's upset and ruin things for ilya. and ilya suddenly hears what he just said and he's horrified and he goes after shane fully expecting shane to have finally realized ilya isn't good for him and when he says as much shane just quietly says "well, i love you. we're a team. the only one i have left."

and that's when ilya realizes how bad he's fucked up. and then they talk about it like adults who love each other.

[grabmybush]

something something shane nagging ilya about eating healthy and quitting smoking and ilya just needs a fucking nicotine hit and (softly) snaps ‘why do you care so much? i’ll just do it outside and shower after’ and shane looks him dead in the eye and says ‘im not letting you chip years off your life when we’ve already wasted 9’ and ilyas just like yeah oh fuck he wants me for as long as he can get me and quits smoking and starts doing yoga even when it feels like his legs are going to fall out from under him because he doesn’t want his last thoughts to be regret for time lost