la douleur exquise

hi!! Teesha, 20s, she/her, enfp & easily obsessed. current time-consumer; stevebucky avatar by dorkbait // NSFW // filter; teesha talks , teesha into the void

[into-a-ship-or-2]

ANNOUNCEMENT

just putting in writing that this blog ( @into-a-ship-or-2 ) occasionally (okay FINE often) has NSFW/NSFT content and I do not have an effective tagging system so

✨MINORS BE WARNED✨

xoxox

[thatcharlieperson]

Just posted chapter 1 of my Hollanov Fanfic “A Love Like Damocles”

Feel free to check out the trailer I made:

Title: A Love Like Damocles by xawesometrio on ao3

Fandom: Heated Rivalry

Summary: Shane Hollander, sole heir to the Metrovan throne, has been taken prisoner by the rival kingdom of Rozanovia. His jailer? Ilya Rozanov - an alpha and the second son of the cruel King Grigorovich.

Neither can deny the attraction that pulls them together, and Ilya must ask himself where he should place his loyalties: family? Or with someone he’s only just met? Can you ever really trust someone who hides a part of himself for his own protection?

The clock is ticking and danger is growing. Shane’s secret and life are in jeopardy. Can he trust his instincts when it comes to Ilya Rozanov? Or will everything come crumbling down around him?

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/87592536/chapters/232084766

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[into-a-ship-or-2]

Have really been enjoying beta reading my first Hollanov AU fic & getting to know the lovely creative that is @thatcharlieperson 🤍 you should be proud!

[assiraphales]

steve rogers was told by his old love interest that she lived her life, now it’s time for him to live his and when natasha asked him what he’s looking for in a partner, he says someone with shared life experience. we then promptly meet the winter soldier/bucky barnes who breaks thru of 70 years of memory loss and programming bc of his love for steve (the one face hydra could never take from him). we also find out that their catchphrase is ‘til the end of the line aka til death do we part.

but no no you’re right we all definitely read way to far into it

[imposterogers]

the worst part is steve rogers WOULDN’T. he wouldn’t leave sam with the responsibility of the shield without being there to support him. he wouldn’t go back to a woman who died of old age, had her own life and told him to moved on. he wouldn’t have ever, not even once, considered leaving bucky — aka his entire world wrapped up in one person — alone, especially after just getting him back. and he wouldn’t have decided that he’d fought the good fight enough and retire in suburbia in the decade epitomes for traditional values aka an antitheses to everything he stood for. the real steve rogers would legitimately HATE the man marvel put on the screen in endgame. and yet. and yet

[valtsv]

"came back wrong" sure yeah that's cool i guess "came back suicidal" now you're talking

[valtsv]

came back imprisoned by obligation to bear responsibility for the love and grief that others feel for you. came back painfully aware of the horror of existence. came back to a life you cannot bear to live anymore, to a body you cannot bear to call yours.

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[vidibit]

Mutuals who I have hardly spoken with but we instead communicate through silently liking and reblogging each other's posts... I hope you're all having a lovely day ✨

[ghostoffuturespast]

[tlirsgender]

"Liking marvel" comes and goes but stucky is forever. What those two have going on is insane. Post catws stucky is like what if you came back wrong and he still loved you. What if you didn't know who you were but he does. He knows you better than you know yourself. Don't touch me

[broadwayairbreathe]

mr hudson williams

[hotniatheron]

tumblr users aged 25-35 when you bring up bucky barnes:

[thychesters]

sometimes love is stored in a kind ao3 comment

[the-bar-sinister]

"I need to stop starting fandom projects so I stop disappointing people."

it's okay to disappoint people

it's okay to work slowly

it's okay to let yourself rest

it's okay to drop projects

Stop treating yourself like you are the workers at a fast food franchise.

Your writing is a hobby, don't let it turn into a source of guilt, shame and frustration instead of a source of joy.

[mumblingsage]

This was a kind of sweet dashboard coincidence.

[somanywords]

Catch-up tag 🌟

Tagged by the wonderfuls @booksandabeer @bohemian-rhapsody-in-blue and @hipsterdiva -- thanks, all!! <3

Last book: Just reread the Ascendance Trilogy by Jennifer Nielson -- a classic from my youth, and it was so fun to see those characters again and enjoy the clever, impudent protagonist! I've been enjoying getting back into reading after a break this winter, so I can't wait to pick up the next read headed my way ;D

Last song: "Tornado Warnings" by Katie Lynne Sharbaugh

Last Movie: Good Morning (Ohayo), a Yasujiro Ozu film that was simultaneously charming, interesting, and very strange, about a village of characters, including two young boys who decide to stop talking until their parents buy them a television set.

Last TV show: Rewatching Love Next Door with my sisters -- a kdrama that we're fond of, haha. And Percy Jackson but had to pause in the middle because our schedules got crazy. I really want to finish it soon!

Last museum: The Pearl Harbor memorial in Honolulu -- a fascinating and pretty place that I'd never been to before. I learned a lot!

Last concert: Gosh it's been a while...was probably a bansuri flute concert in my neighborhood -- a friend of my mom's son is a really experienced flautist and occasionally gives small concerts when he's in town...

Last meal: Made chicken cacciatore for dinner! Used wine to deglaze my pot and everything, very fancy, haha ;)

Last project worked on: Putting together my new iPad! I'm very excited, because I've been unable to digitally draw for months now, due to my old one giving up the good fight, but today the cover and screen protector finally came in the mail and she looks so sleek and good and I've already begun drawing again...except fresh fanart at your doors soon!

🌟I'll tag @tessabennet @wewringmagicfromtheordinary @piedoesnotequalpi @thankssaragorn @dharmasharks @into-a-ship-or-2 @eoin-mcgonigal @blurglesmurfklaine @zenaidamacrouras1 @musette22 and anyone else who'd like to join in!

[into-a-ship-or-2]

Tagged as usual by the lovely @somanywords - thank you for always thinking of me sweet Cass x

Last book: currently reading through the Percy Jackson series so Sea of Monsters (book 2) - read them as a kid and figured they deserved a reread given the success of the show!!

Last song: Ms. Jackson by OutKast - was stuck in my head but hadn't listened to it in so long!

Last movie: Gran Turismo (2023) - just needed something on in the background and picked it from my watchlist. Not groundbreaking but took itself more seriously than I expected!

Last TV show: In full, Heated Rivalry. But the last full ep I watched of anything was Chicago Fire.

Last museum: I honestly can't remember - that's on me! I've got to do better on this one.

Last concert: the last concert I attended was my faaaaavourite band Drax Project (upbeat fun instrumentalists with jazz backgrounds) last September which feels like a lifetime ago! I'm lucky to do casual work at concerts few times a month, so I feel like I've been in the concert environment heaps since then but yeah that would've been the last thing I had tickets for according to my calendar!

Last meal: Burrito meal from Guzman y Gomez, I don't think this is international but it's basically like tex-mex... freaking delicious

Last project worked on: I...made a spreadsheet for a friend who's never used AO3 with some do's/don't and some fic recs with a variety of parameters HAHA! Took a while but was really fun and she's learning so much! My creativity tends to manifest in spreadsheets, beta'ing and other adminny things hehehe.

Open to anyone!! xx

[inkatesbush]

they're saying spending 2 hours in the word doc changing words slightly to be more specific and evocative and moving endless commas around is one of the most noble and respected things that you can do

[son-justdont]

my favorite detail in ca:tws is when Sam is like "my gear is in a guarded government vault" and Steve and Natasha are like yeah that's fine. we can get that easy. and then they just retrieve it off screen. literally no scene or sequence not a single shot, within like an hour they just have his wings and that's that. like yeah why waste time showing us, they said it would be easy. Natasha shrugged. they could've just had Sam have it in his shed but no. fucking hilarious no notes 10/10 cinema and I'm not joking

[countessravengrey]

It's a classic moment. The shrug. The reveal. The knowledge that it was so easy it wasn't even worth showing us what should be a god-tier heist, because for those who missed it the first time, this "guarded government vault" is at fucking Fort Meade.... where the NSA lives... and it's said to be "behind three guarded gates and a twelve-inch steel wall"

CATWS doesn't get enough credit.

[girls4losers]

i gotta remember this