Me

Kayla. 30+. OFMD. HR.

[thisfeebleheart]

Shane touching Ilya's face when they kiss is my one of my favorite things ever

[my-2nd-account]

Op for your consideration:

[andy-dandy]

I do love the headcanon that Ilya and Cliff Marleau used to have threesomes during Ilya's Boston era. And Marleau 100% is the bro-y type that believes a threesome cannot POSSIBLY be gay if there's a girl involved and has literally zero doubts in his heart that he and his bestie buddy brother man captain Ilya are both entirely straight, despite kissing (full tongue in mouth) over the top of the girl they pulled together (ignoring her for a solid two minutes) at least once (it was multiple times).

Ilya, obviously, 100% knows that Marleau is at least a little bi, maybe a Kinsey 1 or 2? But he just sort of doesn't have the heart to break it to Marleau because he knows Marleau will have a whole crisis about it and Ilya doesn't have time for all of that rn. Also Ilya absolutely does not want to Awaken Marleau because if Marleau realizes that he likes Ilya then Ilya might have to deal with that and one extremely stressful and confusing secret affair with another hockey player is enough for him thank you!!!

This only comes up when Marleau comes out with the Ottawa guys after a Boston-Ottawa game post-TLG, and whilst drunk mentions the threesome thing and maybe the kissing thing while everyone else slowly exchanges extremely wide-eyed looks across the table.

Shane is incredibly displeased about literally all of this. It's Shane who eventually loses his patience and makes some crack about Marleau being in love with his husband (careful emphasis on his!!!! and husband!!!!) and Marleau goes. Oh yeah no we're just bros. No like. It was all super chill it doesn't count if your socks are on :)

This is when Troy bursts out laughing directly in Marleau's face.

[thisfeebleheart]

nose boop <3

[rainbow-femme]

Someone online makes a comment about how Shane probably isn’t a very good boyfriend, saying his flat affect and resting neutral face in paparazzi pics and video must mean he’s detached and not affectionate compared to Ilya who is much more overtly affectionate

Ilya then has the rest of the Centaurs help him make a compilation of secretly filmed Shane moments showing how good a boyfriend he is

Ilya doing the “would you still love me if I was a worm?” thing and without missing a beat or asking any questions Shane just goes “Yeah”

Harris films himself asking Shane random Ilya questions and Shane always having an answer. “Hey what Ilya’s favorite milkshake flavor?” “Mint.” “I’m buying everyone fun socks, what’s Ilya’s favorite color?” “Blue, but only if it’s light, he doesn’t like dark blue.” “What’s Ilya’s favorite fruit?” “Pears.”

Troy waits for Shane to sit on the bench looking at his phone or tying his skates then says “Oh hey Ilya’s coming in” and catches multiple examples of Shane immediately scootching over to one side to make room for Ilya to sit next to him

Ilya puts his feet up on Shane’s lap silently and Shane starts lightly massaging them. Ilya lays his head on Shane’s shoulder and Shane starts quietly playing with his hair

They film Ilya handing Shane random things and asking him to hold them and Shane does without question. The internets favorite is the one where Ilya pulls a pineapple out of his bag and asks Shane to hold it and he agrees, getting his gear on one handed so he can keep holding the pineapple in the other

Hayden gets a video of Shane letting Ruby brush his hair and fill it with clips while he and Jade do Ilya’s nails, Ilya laying with a face mask and cucumbers over his eyes and his head on Shane’s lap

[thisfeebleheart]

[mapetitefeedeslilas]

Shane who, before him and Ilya get outed, keeps hearing people, fellow players, his own friends, talk shit about the man he loves and it pains him, so one night he googles "Ilya Rozanov nice person" and ends up in a subreddit where people share stories of celebrities that are surprisingly nice people and the page dedicated if Ilya is full of wholesome stories

hospital personnel from where he used or still visited the paediatric department with the team, parents of patients, even former patients themselves seeing how great, attentive, funny and light-hearted he was

puck bunnies or women he had one night stands with during the years playing for Boston saying he was a phenomenal lover and a consent king, or women that approached him whilst inebriated and whom he gently turned down, bought a bottle of water for and paid for their cabs to get back home safely

neighbours saying he was very polite, people he was nice or helpful to through the years, a mom with a screaming child whose first class seat on a flight to Moscow he gave up so she could have more room for her herself and the baby, a classmate he defended in school, a former teacher saying how smart and talented he was in spite of not having much time to study because he was training a lot, Russian-speakers saying his interviews in his mother tongue are a thing of beauty and incredibly well-spoken, waiters and shop assistants stressing how polite his interactions were

Shane devours these stories with tears in his eyes and a heart about to explode, the tab perpetually open in his phone, incognito mode.

And when someone talks shit about Ilya or when, after their outing, hate starts to be thrown at him even more viciously from the media, he goes back to the tab, just to see that there actually many that agree with him: Ilya, the love of his life, is the most wonderful person

[doodlenoodleh]

Merstede forever!! 🧜‍♂️

[isisisak]

ilya feels like he missed the last step on a flight of stairs every time shane mentions our

first time this happens: shane's on ilya's couch in boston, chewing on one of his hoodie strings with a frown on his face "our wifi's down" - he says this so casually like it didnt just make ilya's whole world stop!?

then there's this one time at shane's parents house, david had cooked a delicious meal and they were supposed to bring the dessert so after dinner shane goes "ah, we left it in our car, just a sec" - ilya stares after him, stomach full of butterflies

after a phone call with hayden about one of the kid's birthdays he tells ilya absend mindedly "hayd says hi. oh, and amber really liked our present" - ilya crawls over to him, hiding from feeling so much over the joint custody of a toy fire truck under shane's shirt

when they both play for the centaurs and someone asks them to stay longer at the bar after a big win and shane answers "sorry, we need to get home to our dog" - ilya should get a medal for not tackling him to the ground then and there

[mermaidinn]

elderly innkeepers for @been-around-seen-things lovely fic In The Distance <3

[beehivedemocracy]

Ilya somehow managing once to convince Shane to get high with him. He really leans into the fact that for the first time Ilya will be sober so Shane doesn't have to worry about anything and that it will be gummies or brownies because Shane is adamantly against smoking. And when he actually tries it Ilya is immediately obsessed bc high Shane is very similar to Shane on the pain meds. Hes calm, happy, completely himself and unmasked. He gets cravings for all kinds of stuff that Ilya immediately gets for him now questions asked. And when Shane sobers up he's like YOU LET ME EAT WHAT. And it was mostly all kinds of safe and comfort foods that Shane usually doesn't let himself eat because of his diet. And Ilya's like "I couldn't say no to your sweet little face 🥺 you are not the victim here Hollander I am" and while high Shane stims freely and copies every other thing Ilya says in his accent and thinks everything is a little funny and Ilya adores Shane's usual uptight self but he also loves seeing his husband so free of anxiety and insecurity. And inevitably Ilya convinces Shane to do it more than once. (They may also from time to time has VERY CONSENTING AND COMMUNICATED high sex and it's great)

[twirlingfreckles]

Luca Haas (he/they) introduces Ilya to the concept of using multiple pronouns but I actually don’t think Ilya is using he/they. Ilya is he/she.

[e-rosieposie]

i feel like after hollanov goes public they absolutely get asked who bottoms, and while shane has a perfectly professional “that is a deeply personal question and i would prefer my relationship not be boiled down to cheap stereotypes” statement prepared (if he even dignifies them with a response), ilya just says shit like “is me, i am bottom, love to get dicked down by hollander, what you don’t think big tough russian can take it like a man?” and nobody quite knows if he’s kidding or not

[stormfern4]

[themoonandmyman]

My Shanecanon (my Shanon, if you will) is that the only kid over the age of 2 that Shane actually clicks with is Arthur Pike because Arthur knows how to play Legos correctly and they can sit together and build perfectly colour coded towers in complete silence while Ruby is making Ilya pretend to be a wounded horse from the Civil War

[fractally]

Love "terrible at being gay" Shane and Ilya. They do some interview for Pink News and it comes out that neither of them have any idea what Stonewall is. A confused Shane's looking sideways at Ilya while Ilya's like, "What? Who threw brick at wall?"

They're semi-frequently cornered by Rose's LA club gay friends and Fabian's arthouse gay friends who constantly bring up random gay culture stuff. Ilya knows 10% of it Shane knows 0%. They're all in a mutual hatred society

Shane's never heard of PrEP. Health Canada approaches him as a potential spokesperson and he's leafing through the documentation going, "Ilya did you know about this? Should---should I have been on this" and Ilya crashes out like, "Oh now it comes out, you let the Mexican guy fuck you bare"

They go to see Rent on a double date with Scott and Kip as some kind of publicity stunt for a charity and they're both just sort of confused the whole time. Ilya gets mad about the dog thing. Shane keeps leaning over to Ilya to whisper loudly, "It's actually really important that tenants pay their rent. How else are landlords supposed to maintain the buildings." Kip tries to stab him during intermission

[hotelstares]

[samwwise]

[ilyas-left-nut]

a literal angel i think