Issa

Basically just an online journal. Caution it gets boring 😂

[issakosherlake]

My skin has been getting soooo much better! I’ve only changed one product since my last update; a prescribed benzoyl peroxid spot treatment. It’s VERY drying so instead of only using the Shea butter at night I use it in the morning too. The problems I’m still running into are hormonal acne flare ups, dryness, and hyperpigmentation/scarring. It’s so upsetting because I use the spot treatment right away and the pimple dries up, but I still have a bright red dot wear it was for weeks. It really bothers me but I am not sure how to prevent it or lessen it. 😒 Anyways just one day at a time on this skincare journey!

[issakosherlake]

Life Update....meh

So I’ve had the worst cold turned sinus infection of my fucking life. I haven’t been to the gym since last Friday morning because I almost passed out because I could barely breathe. And it just got worse and worse each day. Chills, nausea, sneezing, coughing, all over muscle aches, and blowing my nose so much the skin around it burns. I thought I was starting to get better and now I’m laying in bed with a splitting pain from the middle of my face to my ears. I can feel the mucus trying to force it’s way through my sinuses and I don’t know how long this is going to last. 😓 It hurts so bad. We are suppose to be going to this Halloween event tonight and I’ve been looking forward to it all month! I finally got to 135 and goddamn it I want to wear that tight costume and enjoy myself!!!! 😭😭😭 I took some decongestants and they’ve helped a bit, but the pain in my face when I move around is just unbearable.

But I’m trying to stay positive. I lost over 15lbs since July and that was my goal! I wanted to be 130-135 by my son’s birthday (Nov 1st) and I reached 135 on Wednesday! Even with being sick as hell I still did it! I didn’t hurt myself to do it either 🤗 I know my posts may seem confusing between whether I’m leaning into or away from my ED but I am truly trying to do this healthy and be happy. I have slip ups and fall into bad habits easily, but my over all goal is to lose weight without going into that dark dark place I was in highschool. I don’t want to feel that.ever.again.

So despite this sinus infection I can say life is good. I am blessed and loved. Any issue I have I know I can over come.

[issakosherlake]

[pancakesmakemecry]

Me: okay so we need to lose weight

Body: sure thing fam, how much exactly?

Me: around 15 lbs

Body: great! when’s the deadline?

Me: yesterday

[issakosherlake]

Me trying to lose this last 9 pounds before Halloween

[thepersephonecabin]

shoutout to everyone making progress that no one recognized because you never let anyone see your darkest moments. i see you and i am so, so proud of every little step you’re making in the right direction.

[issakosherlake]

So ‘tis was my lunch on the left and dinner on the right. Lunch was 1 cup chicken and wild rice soup with 5 imitation gluten free ritz. Dinner was while 1/3 cup fat yogurt with 1 cup granola clusters. Both incredibly filling and under 300 calories and perfect meals for detox. So including breakfast my calories are ~900 for the entire day🤗 125 here I come!

[issakosherlake]

Starting my detox today! 🤗 I love doing this when I have hit a plateau in my weight loss. I’ve been at 140lbs for two weeks and binge/purging HARD because of it. So let’s flush it all out! Only fluids and liquids for 1 week! This is a smoothie with frozen fruit, while fat yogurt (fat isn’t bad),a splash of mango juice, and two packets of sweet n low. 😋 It’s super yummy and gives me lots of energy. I’ll check back in at lunch to show you what I’m eating then too ☺️

[issakosherlake]

....I think it’s a sign...Let’s start this again. Day 1

[issakosherlake]

So I went 4 days binge free...I just want to cry. I feel like such a failure. I keep reading this picture and trying to find peace. I’ve been drinking a shitload of water and will probably only have water tomorrow. I really want to make it to 100 days binge free. I want to feel like a normal person that doesn’t lose their mind over food. God I want to know what it feels like to have enough control to put the food down and walk away. This has been so hard lately....this sucks

[issakosherlake]

4 days binge free!

I’ve been doing really well. I feel like I’m getting back on track with my diet again. My skin on the other hand is flipping the fuck out. I really don’t know what’s up. It could be stress related because I’m fucking failing Spanish 🙃 or I’m not drinking enough water. Today I am making sure to drink my 100 oz. and will start making it a habit. I’m so addicted to fizzy drinks it’s ridiculous. Water water water is all I need...and some coffee...and tea...but I have got to give up the soda. Even if it is diet.

[issakosherlake]

Halfway done with this OU blanket for my FIL! Feeling so accomplished! If I keep up this pace I’ll have all the Christmas presents done early this year 😁😁😁

[issakosherlake]

Started my halloween decor! 🎃👻🎃👻🎃👻

He calls them “pumkees” 😍😍😍

[mia-memes]

When someone calls you thicc as a compliment

[buzzbomb-disorder-deactivated20]

it happens too often shehhdwhskbsh

[ghostsandgoblins]

The Beginning Vs. The End of Labyrinth (1986), dir. Jim Henson

Damn. I can never remember that line.

[issakosherlake]

Day 1 Binge free!

I know I keep saying this. That’s because I keep having to start over. ☹️ But I have new hope! I saw a girl that just posted 100 days free of binging! That’s so inspiring. I want to do it. I want to go 100 days without binging! So day one ☝️

[issakosherlake]

This was me at my lowest weight and my lowest self worth. I was 105lbs. I still had a fat face and big thighs that tormented me. I cried every night and purged everything I ate. I don’t want to get back to this point mentally...but I also would love to be that weight again...but that isn’t even possible...damn

Recovery is hard

Recovery never ends

💔

[computerjuice]

running back to those unhealthy coping mechanisms like a pro tonight boys