adsum

ostensibly a human person she/her

[theswisscheeserag]

You gotta be really publicly passionate about things if you want your friends to text you. Bc people will forget to text you because they’re human. But if you’re really openly the friend who loves identifying ants your friends will think of you when they see ants. And they’ll text you “what ant is this [blurry photo]”. And then they’ll ask you how you’ve been and we should get coffee sometime. But if they don’t know what you love they’ll never know what you like

[theswisscheeserag]

And then when the ant convention is in town they’ll be like dude… we should go to the ant convention. But they would never think to go if they didn’t know u loved ants

[theswisscheeserag]

And sometimes you need to ask them to go to the ant convention. But you Will not get anywhere hiding your passions

[steveyockey]

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

[meangirlnurse]

oh my god

[meangirlnurse]

[smallbabywerewolf]

[wonderstruck]

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

[second-time-around]

very 🥰🥰🥰 when musicians leave bits in songs where they're saying 'is this thing on?' or 'it's still recording y'know.' chairs scraping, retuning guitars, saying 'let's do that bit again', 'was that take any good?'

[damejoansutherland]

side benefit of communal all-gender restrooms is that they may be our best chance to shame cis men into washing their hands

[damejoansutherland]

i was in a communal all-gender restroom today and as i was washing my hands a middle-aged man came out of one of the stalls, started to make for the door, clocked me standing at the sinks, and changed course to wash his hands with a real hangdog look on his face

[bloopdydooooo]

jon sims literally cannot access a lot of the internet cause he gets to the ‘i am human’ button and starts sobbing

[rotating3dobject]

@hotdrinks peer reviewed

[swordsonnet]

[ID: tumblr tags reading "#jon lets do a captcha and maybe youll calm down #you still bleed. you can still die. you can still identify all the stop signs in this series of images". end ID]

[sunnydejavuu]

i haven't read the long game but i saw someone post about ilya's little neighbor kids who put up a sign of support for him in their front yard post outing and these children have now officially overtaken my soul.

i think that these kids (through osmosis from their parents) are hugeeee hockey fans, centaurs fans specifically. i think when they find out that a player moved across the street they want to meet him so bad and it's only their mom's borderline lecture about respecting peoples' privacy that keeps them from banging down ilya's door.

i think that one night, after a huge win at home, their parents let the kids stay up and enjoy the excitement and they manage to stay up long enough to spy ilya's car come up the street (crucially ilya didn't feel mentally up to a party that night so he's returning home early and sad about not being able to share his win with his shane). i think that the kids immediately open up their front door and start screaming about the game, completely ignoring the fact that it is a residential street and everyone is asleep and probably wants to kill them now. i think that ilya sees them and, despite being exhausted and sad and everything else he is, stops and rolls down his window and talks to them about the game. he ends up getting home much happier than he anticipated being and the kids don't sleep until 3am from of the pure thrill of it. (the parents don't sleep either but they're doing a way better job of concealing their excitement).

i think that after that, the kids end up waiting on ilya to leave the house for a game and they always, always talk. it doesn't matter what they talk about, if its the the team or anything else, both parties make it a point to never skip a driveway debrief. it might even end up as a secret superstitious hockey player habit that ilya has because the one time they didn't talk before a game they lost horrifically. ilya ends up very invested in third grade classroom beefs with the mean teacher who won't let the kids play outside when it's raining ("we were learning about plants!! and we decided we need rain to grow too!! our teacher doesn't want us to grow!! she's evil!!") and he passes along the details to shane who is needing the levity in his life a lot at this point.

i think that one day, when the kids have gotten a little older and can be trusted to go places without their parents, ilya asks if they'd like to come to practice with him and watch. they, once again, scream like an elephant just stampeded into the street and their parents basically have no choice but to let them go or else it would've been a meltdown. they ride in ilya's car and he lets them open the sunroof and stick their heads out and blast music until their ears ring. they watch practice from seats right next to the ice and are starstruck the whole time. the other centaurs find this very cute and tease ilya about adopting his neighbor kids and he doesn't shut it down because he truly loves them by now. on the way home the kids joke about how funny it would be if ilya showed up to their hockey game (because they're hockey fans in an ottawa with a renewed excitement about hockey, of course they're on a team) and ilya laughs along but, lo and behold, next game is buzzing because the entire ottawa centaurs team is there. everyone on that team is cheering like its the cup finals and the kids are beside themselves with excitement and one of our two neighbor kids scores a hat trick for the first time. the kid is chasing that high for the next ten years.

[musashi]

Hey can you guys reblog Cheeseburger so he can take a sunbeam nap on lots of blogs. No other reason I just want you guys to see him.

[lavenderprose]

Once again I am thinking about Shane and his lines #HisLines. Particularly during sex. He and Ilya have a rich and varied sex life, of course, and in any given week you can expect them to both Try Something New and Play The Hits. Either way, Ilya knows that he can expect to hear a few key phrases:

- Please Sir/Please Ilya/Please Baby (Self-explanatory and dependent on mood)

- OhMyGod

- I love your cock

- Harder oh my god harder (Said no matter how hard Ilya is going, btw. Sometimes harder actually means faster or is a signal to switch positions and Ilya figures it out, obviously)

- Keep going keep going keep going

- I love you

- I’m coming (Ilya is biiiiig into orgasm announcement ever since Shane said “I’m coming for you” that first time so. Obviously Shane noticed him going Sicko Mode and it was incorporated immediately and expeditiously into His Lines)

- Keep going (Overstim yay)

- That Was So Fuckin Hot

Ilya, of course, knows and loves the lines. Loved the fun little call-and-response of their sex, especially the more vanilla, familiar sex. At some point he alludes to this during foreplay, he’s being playful and clocks Shane’s OhMyGod IlyaThat’sSoGood face and says it with him at the same time. And Shane goes internal and quiet and Ilya has to kiss on him and murmur that he thinks it’s so sweet and sexy and Shane says, “Are you sure it’s not boring, am I boring you?” And Ilya ‘Intimacy Kink’ Rozanov has to explain to his own husband that he thinks the boring is. Actually quite exquisitely horny.

[thelooniemoonie]

Since it's mid-august it's time for a reminder for the DIY folks or those who like to cosplay

[thelooniemoonie]

It's about that time of year again, and after having this circulate for a year now, it interesting seeing some observations:

Despite making this post in August, this post spikes in brief periods throughout the year, depending on when folks like to start.

Reading all the cool costume projects people are working on

Some of you animals reblog this on November 1st

[transgenderer]

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

[transgenderer]

@kropotkindersurprise said:

it should be an explosive device, so they widen that part of the cave at the same time and no other spelunkers will get stuck there

beautiful vision. i love the idea of a minecraft-style world where if you explode underground it just clears a radius

[anthropologist-on-the-loose]

Based on my limited interaction with court cases, I imagine one of the most satisfying parts of being a lawyer would be reading orders and decisions written by judges who are barely restraining themselves from calling people dumbasses for not doing their job correctly.

Because I'm currently reading an order for an unnecessary racist bullshit case where the federal agency sent out the wrong legal instructions, the local government's lawyer didn't even manage to correctly follow the (wrong) legal instructions they did get, and the judge's response is so passive aggressive I'm shocked the paper didn't spontaneously combust while I was reading it.

[captain-price-returns]

At least one member of the British government is doing their job.

[aropride]

some birds are very intuitively named. looked up a sparrow going chipchipchip in my yard, it was a chipping sparrow. saw a black bird with red wings, it was a red winged blackbird. gray bird that sounds like a cat? gray catbird. the first time i saw a house finch it was perched on a windowsill. However, some birds are the red-bellied woodpecker

[someofusarequeer]

I gotta google something real quick

[someofusarequeer]

who named this bird

[official-ornithology-posts]

Official ornithology post

[n1ghtflowering]

my favorite ao3 writers be like this

[ilyapasta]

I think one time during the final Boston year Shane chips his tooth and he shows up to Metros practice and the guys are like "Wait did you get clipped in the last game? Where were we?" and Shane is like "Yeah, I didn't even notice it during the game, must've been a stray stick or something. You got tape I can borrow?" Quickly changing the subject because he actually chipped his tooth while voraciously sexting Ilya and trying to get a well-composed photograph of his pecs but he was finding it hard to flex and push his biceps in toward his chest while holding the phone up above his head lying down in bed dildo half-in his ass while Ilya is sending rapid-fire text messages from the back of the Raider's team bus during an 8-week dry spell like—Send hole, Send nipples, tell me you love me, Send me your cock, tell me you want my cock, are you moaning? send me a voice note, yes I'll keep it quiet, volume is low Hollander, did you get the toy in? God I fucking love you. Missed you so much today almost chartered my own flight to Montreal, Yes I know you would be turned off by bad financial decision, God I want to swallow your dick. I want to see your nipples baby want to come all over them make you push your tits together, alright I won't call them tits you are no fun, make it nice for me, baby baby babyyyyyy, my good little— and Shane is rapid fire messaging back and also trying to take pictures and his cock is so hard it hurts and then he drops the phone on his face, chipping the tooth and swearing and the next picture he sends to Ilya is his fat fucking lip and bloody mouth and chipped tooth and despite being a little worried about what happened, Ilya nearly shoots off in his pants, no context needed. Cliff wakes up from a nap and thumps Ilya's back, thinking he's choking on his Doritos.