it be ok

sometimes probably eventually

[itbeoksometimes]

To say that someone is a product of their upbringing is to dehumanize them, when I think it was meant to make them an entire person.

The classic tale of shame vs encouragement.

[itbeoksometimes]

The Sun comes up and I think about

the last day we ever shared.

The Sun rose that day too.

The Sun goes down and I think about

the first night we spent apart.

Losing you was like if the night

went form blue straight to dark.

No orange,

no pink,

no clouds shaped like sharks.

Just eyes in the sky

that used to be stars

that belong to the dark,

the dark that lured you away

and now haunts my heart.

[itbeoksometimes]

[itbeoksometimes]

[itbeoksometimes]

I think the truth is that

I kinda like being sad

and being down and all of that.

I kinda like how missing you feels on my heart,

I feel the weight down to my heels then they start

dragging like I do with my past all around,

ever since I wound up here at the Lost and Found.

When I miss you it feels like it hasn't been long since I was yours since you've been gone since I had a home and a place to belong.

[itbeoksometimes]

Should I roll up something

to make it right?

Should we talk while smoking?

I don’t wanna fight.

We were having such a good night

but then I couldn’t shake the feeling that I didn't matter, so

my past and I instigated a fight with you that I hope

doesn’t shatter us, I’m a mess

and a disaster. 

And I think I turn on myself 

to manipulate you 

into forgiving me faster.

[itbeoksometimes]

Edit*

You are what you hate

[itbeoksometimes]

[itbeoksometimes]

In Case You Got Lost (When You Left)

In case you got lost

      when you left

I could try to find you.

If you need me, just let me know.

If you’re scared or if it’s dark

wherever you are

I could shine a light for you.

If you need me, just let me know.

In case somehow somewhere

there is a place where

the light hits time

perfectly right and you can hear me

I’ll leave this note for you to find.

I’m right where you left me

at home

if you need me, just let me know.

[itbeoksometimes]

10-19-18

(Almost) All of us reunited for our best friend's wedding.

It was the seventh anniversary of my dad's suicide.

I got to paint the bride and babe's faces.

P said he loved me for the first-second time

on the dance flo mid shimmy

and we secretly cheersed with Tay

Katie and Caleb because Theodora

got her heartbeat.

My worst day is also my most precious day.

Life is sad, and happy, and KEWT and

we're all just gettting by together, so

HOLD ON.

[itbeoksometimes]

Windshift

Why can't my reality be the same as yours?

When you said that something,

the wind from my world

picked up your words,

and spun them around

before putting them down

to be found by me but-

they no longer mean what

you meant them to be.

And when I felt what I did

after you said what you said,

it was mixed with the negative beliefs

already swirling around in my head.

I'm sorry for what I said after that.

[itbeoksometimes]

stay

Should've

Thought

Ahead

Yesterday

[itbeoksometimes]

My roommate found this sign in the back of the garden all rusty, so we picked a color and he gave it a spray paint job. Not a week later, he got his heart beat :D

*Reminds me of the Cowardly Lion*

[itbeoksometimes]

Someone said to me once, I'm glad you finally have gotten your life started. But what does that mean? Is it turning eighteen? When you first live on your own, and if so, in what sense? Maybe it's when you graduate, start a new job or move somewhere, or move on from something, or someone. I thought it started at birth? And there's liberation found in inner work. What do you think?

[itbeoksometimes]

Ode to Darkness

If I didn’t know you, I wouldn’t know the new or crescent moon. Behind the fog, she fades to blue — and I don’t feel so alone.

Maybe that’s why people feel connected to the Moon. I get scared I won’t see you soon.

If I didn’t know you, what would become of the space in my mind, where I sit on the roof looking up at the Moon, dreaming of you tonight?

If I didn’t know you, where would hope be if not by my side? Would there be any stardust, if I didn’t dream of a better time?

If I didn’t know you, I wouldn’t know the new, half, or full moon.

I reach my hand out to her — or maybe to you.

Through the fog she shines bright blue, and together, we feel alone.

[itbeoksometimes]

It's not as bright

in this world that moves without you.

You hung the Moon

but now you're as far away.

There's clouds in my view

and I see the light shine through the

fog and I know

that you're near

someway.

[itbeoksometimes]

I know you think 

that I’m not enough

but I know that I can be.

If only you would pick me up,

I could be your bottle of whiskey.

I know you think

that I’m too much,

but like your cup, I’m empty.

I don’t mean to make a fuss

I just,

wish I was your whiskey.

Because if I was 

you would drown in love.

Here, take my hand 

so you don’t go missing.

Left then right 

until we’re past small-talk,

hand-in-hand with 

wishful thinking.

If only you could open up

like you do 

your bottle of whiskey.