mutineer looks rated
in honor of the @theterrorbingo’s prompt for cornelius hickey, and i will rate his gang according to the outfits they chose while doing their own thang
HICKEY
outfit no. 1: fully dressed: coat taken off the man he murdered, boots taken off the dead body of a superior officer. clothes are 7/10, points off for graverobbing but the man knows how to make the best out of a bad situation. hairstyle is 8/10 - that’s a full head of hair in the middle of the arctic while suffering from scurvy and lead poisoning, and the beard is just okay.
outfit no. 2: underwear. 3/10 for the outfit, put your pants back on you moron, this isn’t you alone in your living room while you’re playing xbox. the hairstyle gets the same score, 8/10, since he doesn’t change it.
average: 6.5/10. needs less lead.
GIBSON
dies in an ordinary cotton shirt, 4/10. plebian. his hair looks pretty decent though, 6/10.
average: 5/10. even hickey’s going “oof” in the background.
TOZER
outfit no. 1: slops. like he’s wearing an old hoodie during a breakup. 6/10, do better solomon. the hair’s at an impressive 8/10 because he may look like a hobo, but he’s still cute as shit in it. still miss the days of the Terror Camp Clear look though.
outfit no. 2: shirt and suspenders but he models them like it’s designer. 9/10. the hair’s getting downgraded to 7/10 though, because he could stand to improve it over time
average: 7.5/10. tozer makes mutiny look pretty good.
ARMITAGE
outfit no. 1: cute sweater gets a 8/10 because that looks cozy and nice, but the facial hair is just repulsive and ruins his entire face. 1/10. i can’t even look at it.
outfit no. 2: casual vest is still pretty tight, he’s making an effort with his looks so 9/10. very nice. i’m giving his hair a 0/10 for keeping it the same over time.
average: 4.5/10 but the beard is so horrifying i’m downgrading it to a 3.5/10. SHAVE, you bastard. MANSON
slops all the time, all the time. 4/10. i get you’re depressed, man, but maybe do something with yourself. as for the hair, 5/10. sad attempt to grow a depression mustache, just looks like a moth bled to death over his lip. he could also comb that head a little.
average: 4.5/10. you need better friends dude. friends don’t let you dress like that no matter how down you’re feeling.
PILKINGTON
7/10. he looks good as hell in the uniform but it’s so predictable, dude, The facial hair is eh. 6/10. better days have been seen.
average: 6.5/10. surprisingly high for a very minor character. GOLDING
the vest is pretty cute, 8/10, and his subpar scruff hair remains the same when he could leap at reinvention outside the deadening confines of the navy. 5/10.
average: 6.5/10. use your imagination, bobby. DES VOEUX
one look but we gotta parse it out fairly. the bandana is a #controversial topic but I’m going to be That Bitch to give it an 8/10 because he’s purposefully doing something with his head and it’s kind of a look. also i fear what the rat’s nest under that hat looks like. the flowy sleeves, scarf and suspenders are also high couture, 9/10. his facial hair, though, downgrades the entire look with the stupid little goatee. 5/10.
average: 7.3/10. not bad for the bastard man.
HOAR
slops. what happened to the days of the hot tub, edmund. 4/10. i will give him an additional score in 7/10 for the pearly whites that’s not a 10 because if he’s giving that much attention to his teeth, he should look out for his outfit and also his hair. 5/10.
average: 5.3/10. you know it can be higher, hoar.
