itsmeimclown

actual literal garbage ShesGrace on ao3 I have 3 one piece tattoos if that tells you anything about me not so much a person as I am a collection of choices

[8balldoodles]

@sanjiaftersex this fucking post had me on the floor it was too accurate

being called blackleg as an alias is one of the sluttiest thing a man can experience btw

[cilceon]

Did you know that there are 58 tortillas in space right now and that number dwindles as the hunger of four astronauts grows

[batrachised]

finally, someone for tumblr

[heresylog]

[Image description: Screenshot that reads: St. Julian the Hospitaller is the patron saint of clowns and circus workers, innkeepers, fiddle players, jugglers, childless people, and murderers. End description.]

[bunjywunjy]

looks like his feast day is in TWO DAYS

[bunjywunjy]

happy this guy's day, everybody

[henstomper]

imposter syndrome is so funny like fuuuuck i hope nobody finds out im tricking people into thinking im competent by knowing things and doing them

[hungry-joe]

Yeah that tracks

[what-even-is-thiss]

Man you could just do stuff back then huh

[stjohnstarling]

Can you even call yourself a con artist if you’re not legally changing your name to avoid false advertising laws?

[theconcealedweapon]

[infectiouspiss]

somnophillia is super funny like im honk shoo honk shoo having a good nights sleep and now you must pass the ultimate test of fucking me without waking me by knocking something over or stepping on a crisp packet i've left on my floor. can you finish your mission while my pet geckos judge you from their tanks? because they're not leaving the room okay the geckos stay in here. also the markiplier fnaf playlist stays on. i sleep better when he's screaming.

[infectiouspiss]

all kink stuff is playing pretend but with somno you're not playing pretend you're locked in you're comfy cozy you're snug as a bug in a rug and your partner is playing pretend instead

[infectiouspiss]

and like. if you're the one awake you're playing pretend so hard right now like ouuuuhhh look at me i'm a scary evil intruder or a demon or vampire or whatever we're doing tonight and now i just have to uhhhh okay shimmy the duvet off and shhh dontfucking breathe so loud and okayyyyy alright now. ah shit they're sleeping in the family guy death pose how the fuck do i get in there how. how do i. help. why are these geckos looking at me.

[infectiouspiss]

plus you have to not get too scared when freddy fazbear jumpscares you or else you're waking them up with your screams

[lourainwoods-in-the-woods]

[infectiouspiss]

oh great and this guy's here in the cuck box wondering if the screaming is me waking up or markiplier dying or toy bonnie throwing a tantrum

[pangur-and-grim]

I feel so insane about ai. I've had face-to-face conversations with people who use it for therapy, who use it to calculate the safety of pill interactions, who use it for all their emails and grant applications and legal documents and academic papers and finance sheets and for every single question they have about the world, and if you tell them about the ecological costs they just laugh and say "I guess I've used a lot of water." and I've been in multiple gatherings of 10+ people where I'm THE ONLY PERSON who doesn't use chatgpt. it's turning me into a ranting raving pariah, because how don't you people see??? why don't you understand??????? this bullshit didn't exist five years ago, you absolutely do not need it, and it is destroying everything

[tragbarerpanzrabwehrkomplexfagot]

[omgthatdress]

Pantone's color of the year is "cloud dancer."

Remember when colors existed? I miss them.

[baneofboredom]

[kholran]

It’s finally happened.

After almost a decade on this site, I found another Tumblr user in the wild. I stopped to tie my shoe with rainbow laces this morning outside the silversmith at Colonial Williamsburg, and I heard it.

“I like your shoelaces.”

Oh. Oh no.

I responded the only way I could. “Thanks.” And then I reluctantly added, “I stole them from the president…and if that makes sense to you, I’m very sorry.”

The poor man, in full Colonial dress, stared at me for a long moment. And then burst into laughter. And said, “I haven’t thought about that in YEARS and this has never happened to me before.”

Yeah. Me neither. Not until today.

Tumblr rite of passage. Achievement unlocked.

[beggars-opera]

@victoriansecret I found your friend!!!

[beggars-opera]

[vonkarmic]

i think taylor swift wishes she was bisexual because she knows it would make her slightly more money. whereas sabrina carpenter wishes she was bisexual so she could have sex with someone who looks exactly like herself. and ariana grande wishes she was bisexual because she did too many designer drugs on the set of wicked and now she has kin memories of being glinda for real

[kristina100000]

[kbondoxxxxav]

how i imagine law and vivi first meet

[mosspapi]

It should be illegal to have a bus stop without a bench I am 1000% serious rn

[itsmeimclown]

There's a group of people in my city who build benches for bus stops. People kept stealing the benches, so they ended up putting locks on them and chaining them down. It's a shame this had to be done by community rather than the city.

[parkayquarts]

im not even the type of guy to go "actually it's frankenstein's MONSTER" because a painting by rembrandt or picasso or any other artist is often called "a rembrandt" or "a picasso" as shorthand. so in this respect frankenstein's monster can be considered "a frankenstein"

[parkayquarts]

darling I love your 8 foot tall patchwork flesh creature, it really livens up the place. is that an authentic frankenstein?

[parkayquarts]

it's only a true frankenstein if it was produced in the frankenstein region of switzerland. otherwise it's just a sparkling homunculus

[ooppo]

Trump is dead this and Trump is dead that. The obvious answer for Trump's sudden disappearance is that Trump has gone into his very first heat and the Whitehouse is trying to cover up that he's an Omega