Gardenia

A dissociative system by the name of Garden - They/them - as old as the universe but a fraction of the size - 25 - Non-binary

[onlytiktoks]

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

normal sex couldn't fix them but weird possesive sex could

[sunderwight]

Fandom terms have to sound silly, like blorbo or squick, because fandom needs humbling. Not a lot. But just every so often you need a good grounding reminder that all of this is literally made up nonsense for fun.

If you take a fictional thing so seriously that silly words genuinely annoy you, you've gone too far and you need to dial it back.

[mikkeneko]

New discourse: it's actually predatory to date someone with a different star sign than you, because the differences in your personalities means you'll never be able to have exactly the same life experiences, thus leaving a knowledge and power gap between the two of you which will inevitably lead to an abusive relationship!

also if you're a Sag and you're dating a Taurus, that means you're secretly seeking a May-December relationship, which is age gap coded!

[dandelion-stuff-and-fluff]

Also, humanoid signs like Aquarius, Gemini, and Virgo absolutely cannot date animal signs. That is interspecies erotica coded fucko and animals CANNOT CONSENT.

[konungarike]

Aries, Capricorn and Taurus dating each other make me sick, they're all bovidae it's so obviously incest I-- 🤢

[kawree]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

If you date a gemini that's polyamory-coded

[fruitcakebro]

So I'm just supposed to be celibate forever then-?

[mikkeneko]

Don't be silly! Sexuality is to be celebrated and love is love after all! You just have to accept that however you're doing it will be awful and problematic in some capacity, miring you in a constant low-level state of shame and guilt that can and will be weaponized against you at any time, should someone somewhere take offense to any of your actions or just your face. This process is enlightened and progressive and definitely not repackaged Original Sin

[locklylemybeloved]

hey @beemovieerotic! what.

[beemovieerotica]

Yeah. it's a lot to get into but tldr: there's an energy crisis in Monstropolis because humans are having fewer children, who monsters need to scare for electricity - so the CEO sets up a secret division of Monsters Inc (the Fuck Floor) where they fuck horny adult monsterfuckers to produce screams.

In the human world, the CIA under the leadership of president Marianne Williamson launches ICUM, the Intelligence Center for Understanding Monsters, where trained agents honeypot monsters to gain intel on the monster world.

Sulley gets sent to the Fuck Floor and he's sent through the closet to our protagonist Oakley who's part of the CIA, and they end up catching feelings for each other.

As part of the worldbuilding, both the monster and human worlds have become heavily involved in astrology:

I won't spoil everything but Williamson's secret service aka the Astral Warriors have to find out Sulley and Oakley's star signs to determine the fate of the two worlds.

[travelingsmithy]

[mikkeneko]

thank you tumblr user @beemovieerotica for elevating this post. or detruding it. one of these. at any rate the post level has definitely been changed in a significant way

[gaynfl-moved]

just heard a coworker say "I know this thing wouldn't even work for Jesus" about her printer

[gaynfl-moved]

heard three people say "amen" in response

[plaidos]

oooh rare leap year post, adds to the resale value

[deepinourengines]

i need a polycule of tall skinny white guys preferably like around 10 of them so i can dress them up in nice outfits and give them cute little red ribbon chokers. (hiding a bowling ball behind my back) For no real reason

[parkchanwoohoo]

Rebecca Sugar cooked with "Character whose entire existence is devoted to the service of another character who's now dead and now they have no idea what to do with themselves except live." I love that shit. I forged myself into a tool for you and now you're gone. I'm sniffing this like a bloodhound

[parkchanwoohoo]

"I swore I'd die for you but now you're dead and I have no conception of what it's like to live outside of my devotion to you but now I've no choice but to learn" is already so delicious. But giving that character "Fumbled a BBW and now has to raise her kid" is so much better. There's umami in this

[mesetacadre]

can someone ask a good question

[mesetacadre]

[hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard]

it’s crazy how accessible waterboarding is. like, you can do it to yourself whenever you want and you don’t even have to go out and buy anything.

[mariakono]

I am taking the bus in paris i hope im not gonna get attacked by the creatures!

[mariakono]

OH NOOOOOOOOO

[lowpawly]

ok well I bet on winning dogs. lol

[whimsical-catacombs]

shirt that says "i love redundancy!" on the front and on the back it says "i love redundancy!"

[mikkeneko]

And on the front, it says "i love redundancy!"

[toskarin]

the funniest thing about the first successful blood transfusion being done on dogs is that dogs are one of those animals that doesn't innately have an immune response to foreign blood, so their first transfusion can basically be whatever blood type, and that means they're pretty uniquely bad for setting your expectations for humans if you don't know that. or what a blood type is.

[xenolaliasa]

lowkey this blood transfusion shit easy as hell

[hellbabyfromhell]

it wasnt that long ago that i was in a little lamborghini sleeping on bookshelves in the hollywood hills with only 47 billion dollars in my bank account. and only 47 lamborghinis in my lamborghini account. and only 47 hills in my hollywood account.

[charl0ttan]

you can visit any area in your house by moving around. well except for when your not at your house. like for example you cant go into your basement at work because its too far away. i think thats the best way i can explain it

[boybeetles]

Straight women on TikTok are calling themselves ‘pillow princess’ and then getting mad when people assume they are lesbians lmao.

[boybeetles]

Straight people using queer slang and then getting mad when people think they are queer will never not be funny to me.

[mostevilfujo]

influencers actively trying to convince young women to aspire to unemployment and servitude is literally so sinister