Sam's blog

Welcome you have found my blog sorta thing welcome to the catastrophe that is my life :)

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Day (16) code

I started reading a few books today and i am slowly learning code html is very simple to start but hard to master and i am yet to work on php.

other than that i am slowly loosing weight and happy with life :)

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Day 14 Finally watching game of thrones

It has happened i have succomed to the darkness that is game of thrones and its amazing.

I have been borrowing books from the library and i cant wait to pick them up, i got a laugh from the women who calls when books come to collect because they seem to follow 2 themes 1 code, html c++ python etc, and 2 stock market books.

I also learned i struggle to follow cooking advice from anyone and royally suck at it.

When i went to the gym yesterday i weighed myself and i seem to still be losing weight slowly despite eating most of what i want and avoiding bread i will see if this pattern keeps strong like i hope

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Day 12 finally missed a day

It took 12 but i finally missed a day.

i managed to get another apology today hopefully i wont have anyone to apologize too soon its getting to the point where even 7 years ago i realise how much of an asshole i was so i want to fix that hence finding the people i did wrong to and trying to fix whatever i caused.

I will be starting the daylight war soon and i cant wait to read it! 

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Day (10) Starting off well

So far 10 days is slightly longer than i thought this would happen so yay.

I finished reading the gospel of loki and it was amazing i love all the references and after a bit of research i learned so much im very happy i took the chance on this book

I have started to feel better from yesterday but i doubt i will be eating any fried food for a while.

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Day (9) not well

I was feeling fine last night and all was well but now my eyes are stinging i feel like i may throw up and i cant taste anything other than vomit so i will be brief.

I want to learn how to code html c++ and java so im going to start with html and learn everything i can to hopefully become competent.

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Day (8) food for thought

I made an amazing inside out grilled cheese sandwich and now although stuffed im really happy as it was something new and even though it wasn't healthy one day a week.

Working out some things with the school who plan to prosecute me because i'm not attending school, to be fair i'm not but when you break a bone or sprain something they don't say we will see you tomorrow you heal and get better before you go back, i dont know whats wrong with me so it cant heal and their is no cure and public schools don't do well dealing with ill or disabled people so i dont stand a chance.

it also worries me that if anyone finds out what the problem is or why i'm not attending everyone will know and i will be constantly mocked by people even those i used to consider friends or the girl who will remain nameless who for the last 4 years i have been madly in love with i don't know what i would do if she ever found out. so thats why i refuse to go back until it all gets sorted which i doubt it ever will knowing my luck.

I am happy for them to take me to court so i can shine a light on how much i have grown outside of school and getting a better education and how much that school held me back along as constantly being threatened by others and occasionally spat on.

I will continue to further my education as best i can from my own room and reading a book everyday, learning french,c++, morse code, and trying to teach myself to read sheet music (which is very hard) so i have that going for me.

Also damn my grammar is slowly improving and i need to work on my writing skills.

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day (7) not much has happened

I keep forgetting to read so thats not good,

I have just had a relaxing day today made dinner at 10 am which was cool.

But mostly just a calm nice day.

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Day (6) very pissed

I started today off on a good note things started to work out and everything worked out until everyone else woke up and it started.

Fast forward 2 arguments into the day and i sat down to eat my dinner (i know it was 11 am probably not the best sleeping pattern)  i was sat their watching tv downstairs my mum was also watching the tv and we started talking which always seems to end in arguments, we were talking about how some people cant live without a relationship or many friends which to me is strange as i'm not a person who is good with other people, 

So i mention that i'm the same way with family as friends i don't care if you are related to me if you are an asshole or abusive towards me im happy never to speak to you again which seems to be the opposite of the people around me who seem to think no matter what someone does to you they are family.

So i said i doubt i will be friendly with either of my brothers when i'm older i don't care what happened or how much they apologize the amount of shit they have put me through in my life and the amount i hate them will never disappear, and that was it i could see her wanting to say "you will never understand till your older" which is important to later in the story.

So i explain that 4 years ago i thought me and my brother were starting to get along and at the time i had worries about my weight so being naive i told him i didn't like how much i weighed and asked how he is so thin next day he is angry at me and for the last 4 years every time something doesn't go his way or he is mad at me i'm called something like lard ass or such, now the name calling doesn't bother me before i left school i would be called fat maybe 30 times a day its that i told his something because i thought i could trust him and he has used that ever since to do what he thinks makes me upset it doesn't, i just am very angry and i dont care how old i get i will never trust him ever again.

So back to this morning during the talk she says its normal for brothers to argue and i explain all this for what feels like the 100th time and she doesn't get it so i explain he did this to hurt me after i trusted him thats the only chance he will ever get and she says she tried to stop the name calling.

Which is utter bullshit as she has told me many things she made me swear never to tell anyone and i kept my promise yet i ask her to make them stop and she couldn't make them promise not to say anything or she wouldnt?

Thats when she starts to get really angry at me and mentions how i'm attacking her and i'm causing arguments for nothing.

Because in this house 3 against 1 is nothing, anything i do say doesn't matter and when i chose not to speak i'm rude.

Im sorry for the massive wall of text but i said i will post the truth both good and bad and here it is the second i can i'm moving away and im done with them all.

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Day (5) a day not to remember

Today hasn't gone as i planned it took many many hours fixing camtasia and photoshop, my internet stopped working so i completely rebooted 4 times and uninstalled everything then re installed it.

after working on some banners tutorials and other such i managed to complete everything i needed to this night and some more.

I played fez today and Hot damn this game is fucking amazing (excuse my language) i have never played a game that caught me as much as this game did i cannot wait to play it again so as soon as i wake up i plan to record and play this game for as long as i can.

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Day (4) back again

So today a lot has happened considering i have only been awake 7 hours and its almost the end of the day, i started prepping for youtube again right now im watching a youtube tutorial on photoshop and will continue to throughout the night hopefully i can get some recording squeezed in their at some point but il see as i also want to continue reading my book.

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Day (3) today was meh

Not much stuff happened today i ate, i read a little and played hearthstone for 3 hours.

My hand is already starting to feel better so hopefully i should be at the gym starting monday and can catch up with a weeks worth of missed exercise.

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Day (2) That didn't last long

I started playing hearthstone today for the first time in a month and i am absolutely loving it i have started using real decks that can win and not just fail all the time so thats more fun and the buff to hunter is amazing.

I just had an amazing dinner we wrapped sausages in bacon and i loved it furthering my opinion that bacon makes everything better.

Very pissed that i'm not at pax this year i would have loved to go, unfortunately its very expensive...

I need to start reading again as i have stopped to not ruin a book for me but i have got into the pattern of not reading which is really annoying so im going to dedicate around 2 or 3 hours tonight and days forth to reading so i catch up to where i would be, i hopefully want to read 35 books this year but i don't know if i will manage that.

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Day (1) lacking for things to do

Every day it seems to become harder to find things to do without spending a crapload of money which i don't have, i sat down to play saints row 4 very crude humor allot of sexualisation but all in all a very good and funny game i played for 5 hours and completed it (great ending) but now i don't have anything to do i have stopped reading the gospel of loki for a few days so i don't finish it to soon. i dont want to start the daylight war for a few days. that way by the time i finish it the skull throne will be out and i can buy that.

I just downloaded minecraft ftb (feed the beast) which is pretty cool and should keep me busy for a few hours if not days so i will continue with that in hopes of not being bored.

I have used the cream i was given by the doctor for my hand and its amazing i cant feel any pain whilst typing this or moving it to a certain extent lucky there's quite a lot so if i ever get the same problem which is likely considering how accident prone i am i should be sorted for the next few years on that front.

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day (1) finally

Went to the doctor today for what i will refer to as THE problem which has been going on for 2 years now about 4 months ago i got sick of people telling me its in my head and nothing is wrong. so i switched doctors and this new one is absolutely amazing he can tell you what you need to hear but he isn't an asshole who thinks himself better than everyone, he has been helping me out with every problem i have ignored for the last 2 years. when all my time and effort was on the big problem needless to say 2 years is allot of time for things to go wrong which they did, if i had the time i would list every single problem but i am very tired and my hand is killing me so typing this is very painful.

I walked into the doctors today for my appointment for the big problem we started talking and i explained how its stopping me from going to school and made it impossible for me to work hence not having or looking for a job until its fixed. halfway through us talking he asked me to pull my hand out my pocket and could tell something was wrong after further talking for a while he had worked out i sprained my wrist and didn't go to a&e or make a fuss because he knows i was brought up to think i'm bothering doctors when something isn't lethal so i get a discreet little perscription some pain medication and a further appointment with a professional who can help with the big problem. hopefully if my hand heals i can get back to going to the gym every other day and hopefully lose some more weight which is a problem i will probably talk about in the future. 

Suffice to say i couldnt wish for a better doctor and hope this all works out soon so i can live a healthy normal life.

In other news i'm still reading the gospel of loki i'm trying not to read it all in one day but its hard because its absolutely amazing and i wish it was bigger only 200 pages come one author you are amazing so make more of this thing that is clearly popular and it took me 2 weeks to get a copy of the damn thing.

Anyways time for me to enjoy some sleep! this will most likely be the first and last post today but we will see it could be really interesting when i wake up.

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Happy world book day!

I didn't realise it was world book day today until just now but i can say for sure the best book i have ready this year would be The painted man by peter v brett i love the story and the whole idea of a dystopian world where demons rule the night is very intriguing to me and i cant wait to read The Daylight War.

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Starting something cool

My plan for tumblr more than anything is to document my life, i hope other people can find this funny embarrassing or interesting but for me it will be like a diary to which i can make posts every day or multiple times a day depending on how interesting that day was occasionally with pictures like my cute dog sleeping or random stuff, the diary posts will have the day number as for today it would be #1 or (1) and go from their any other posts do not count towards my diary and are just for your and my amusement, pardon my horrible grammar i'm trying to improve

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All of the books!

I started reading again after 2 years of hell i finally have the time, problem is i have too much time, in the past 2 weeks i have read 9 books all around 700 pages and cant find anything worth reading, so suggestions welcome.

i dont really have a type of book i will read anything and might enjoy it examples being The gospel of loki and the painted man/demon cycle are both amazing and i want to find more like this!