you cant rely

elliot hansen | 18 | juniorthe sprite| single oc rp | kyrie | est

[itsxelliotx-blog]

self destructive mistakes || open

[itsxelliotx-blog]

Elliot’s head was pounding but it really only took hearing his boyfriend cry to slowly pull his eyelids apart and take in his surroundings. He knew he was getting bad again and last night he had been more than reckless - he had stopped caring completely. But now, seeing Felix crumble completely like that, his heart began to ache. His heart rate picked up and he let out a shaky sigh, flipping his hand over to give Felix’s a weak squeeze, “H-hey, you know me...” he rasped out, flicking his tongue against his cracked lower lip, “baby, please don’t cry. J-just.. please come here.” he whispered

[itsxelliotx-blog]

@ohsnapitsfelix: anyone else here gay with depression lmao

@itsxelliotx: oh yikes it me

[itsxelliotx-blog]

[itsxelliotx-blog]

self destructive mistakes || open

Following the Valentine’s dance, Elliot had crashed with a few friends just to celebrate the evening - drinking too much and popping pills like it was nothing. He wasn’t keeping track and frankly he didn’t care, although he really should have. He was wavering, that much was clear, but he was still going until he was lazily slumped against someone’s couch. “Hey, I’m gonna go take a piss!” he nudged his boyfriend, sloppily pressing a kiss to his cheek before somehow managing to stumble his way to the bathroom, “Fuck, Elliot..” he mumbled, to himself, leaning against the bathroom sink before eventually sliding down onto the floor just trying to get his grasp on reality. He only meant to rest for a moment, to get things to stop spinning so he could rejoin the party but instead, things just kept getting darker until eventually he was out cold.

-

How Elliot had wound up in the hospital was a mystery, in fact, where he was was still a mystery to him. He had been in a down spiral for a while now and even though he thought moving to the states would make it better, clearly it didn’t. He had gone too hard too fast and overdosed, eventually found by someone on the bathroom floor out cold and barely breathing. “F-fuck,” he swore softly, his mouth as dry as sand paper and he didn’t even dare open his eyes yet.

[itsxelliotx-blog]

ELLIOT’S 90′S INSPIRED DANCE OUTFIT.

[moonchild30]

[itsxelliotx-blog]

@felixohfelix

[acecroft]

[interrogado]

[itsxelliotx-blog]

@felixohfelix

[edhelarchive-deactivated2021072]

im not passive-aggressive. im just aggressive. i dont even know what passive means. ill fucking kill you

[pencap]

You love him,  you do, and here’s the miracle: he loves you too. You are allowed to lick off the colour from his lips to listen to the hymns in his pulse to bask in the sunlight of his voice You are allowed  to have him. You love each other, you do, and here’s the tragedy: it’s not enough. You are allowed to watch the sun swallow him whole and burn him up to stain your fingers to the bone holding him together to count the constellations in his eyes as they blink out You are not allowed to save him.

you can love him, but you can’t keep him ( j.p. )

@felixohfelix

[beelzabutts-deactivated20180203]

Mood: let me sit on your lap and pretend like I'm not trying to get you hard

[itsxelliotx-blog]

@felixohfelix

[sendameme]

BOLD all that applies to your muse!

[itsxelliotx-blog]

BOLD all that applies to your muse!

Eyes: Blue | Green | Brown | Hazel | Grey | Other Hair: Blonde | Brown | Black | Red | Ginger | Grey/White | Multi-color | Other Body Type: Skinny | Slender | Slim | Built | Curvy | Athletic | Muscular Skin: Pale | Light | Fair | Freckled | Tan | Olive | Medium | Dark | Discolored Gender: Male | Female | Trans* | Cis | No Gender | Other Sexuality: Heterosexual | Homosexual | Bisexual | Pansexual | Asexual | Demisexual | Other Education: High School | University | Higher Education Living Situation: Lives alone | Lives with parents/guardian | Lives with significant other | Lives with a friend | Drifter | Homeless | Other Parents/Guardian: Mom | Dad | Adoptive | Foster | Grandparents | Family friend | Legally Independent Relationship: Single | Crushing | Dating | Engaged | Married | Separated | It’s complicated I’ve been: In Love | Hurt | Sick | Abused I have a(n): Learning Disorder | Personality Disorder | Mental Disorder | Anxiety Disorder | Eating Disorder | Substance-related Disorder Things I’ve done before: Drank alcohol | Smoked | Done drugs | Stolen | Self harmed | Starved myself | Had sex | Had a threesome | Gotten into a fist fight | Gone to the hospital | Gone to jail | Used a fake ID | Gone to a rave | Killed someone Positive Traits: Affectionate | Adventurous | Athletic | Brave | Careful | Charming | Confident| Creative | Determined | Fearless | Generous | Honest | Humorous | Intelligent | Loyal | Modest | Patient | Selfless Negative Traits: Aggressive | Bossy | Cynical | Envious | Fearful | Greedy | Gullible | Jealous | Impatient | Impulsive | Insecure | Irresponsible | Possessive | Sarcastic | Self-conscious | Selfish | Unstable

[rcwes-deactivated20200131]

“I think I wanna go to erewhon to restock my dorm’s mini fridge today… wanna tag along?” she asked the familiar face in front of her.

[itsxelliotx-blog]

“What the hell is an erewhon?” Elliot chuckled, pulling his cigarette from his mouth and turning to grin at the other

[gifsofbravotv]

[itsxelliotx-blog]

@felixohfelix

[itsxelliotx-blog]

Things were supposed to get better when Elliot came to the states and sure, maybe they had in a way. He was finally legally independent, he was still dancing, and hell, even him and Felix had gotten back together. But there was still a part of him that felt like it was missing, like he wasn’t whole - afraid of not being good enough, afraid of being abandoned. But asking for help was never Elliot’s style - he was more of push the problem away and pretend it didn’t exist then do something self destructive when that didn’t work. He wasn’t entirely clear on what he had done that night before or where he had gone with who so when he woke up on a floor that wasn’t his on a massive come down, he let out a low groan, “Hey, man, what the fuck happened?” he mumbled, trying to locate the other in the room.

[scream1996]

You want to know what’s wrong with me, yeah? You. You are. You don’t care about me. You don’t give the tiniest tiniest shit.

[itsxelliotx-blog]

Elliot: i do tho... like so bad Marnie

Elliot: even better - him AND felix i’d the same time while high. that really would be the end of me

Elliot: the usual i guess