I know you said DM but I really do prefer to post these publicly (for my own records as much as anything else), and this way I can get both of y’all at once - feel free to DM me back if you want to reply/ask questions though! Hope you don’t mind me choosing to reblog this to explain it.
Okay, let’s do this! Otherkin 101! And since you asked for in-depth, I get to go a little more in detail on the definitions than I usually do on these posts! :D
Basic Definitions/Terminology
Otherkin: “identifying nonphysically as something other than human, partially or wholly.” That identity can be spiritual and/or psychological, and there are any number of explanations for why someone might be otherkin, but it’s generally understood to be involuntary in the sense that you don’t choose to be otherkin or choose your kintypes - you either are, or you are not. (Example: I’m dragonkin, meaning I am a dragon living a human life - a dragon-in-human-skin.)
Therianthrope/Therian: 2 possible definitions. The most commonly cited is someone who nonphysically identifies specifically as an animal that exists or used to exist physically on this earth (ie a wolf is a therian, a dragon is not). However, it’s a little more complicated than that, and there’s gray areas - the second definition is that therianthropy is specifically about animalistic experiences, as opposed to a sentient/sapient creature (for instance, in the original therian communities, dragons were often part of them because they were still animalistic, even though they had never physically existed on this earth). This leads to terms like the following two:
Theriomythic: Someone whose kintype (see below) is a mythical/magical/non-Earthen animal, but is still “animalistic”/non-sapient enough that they identify with therian experiences and feel at home in the therian community. Many dragons fit into this label and are the classic example, though many don’t (and some, like myself, are on the borderline between theriomythic/animalistic and otherkin/sapient - there’s always gray areas).
Fictherian: Someone whose kintype (see below) is fictional, typically from a specific piece of media, but is still “animalistic”/non-sapient enough that they identify with therian experiences and feel at home in the therian community. (Example: someone who identifies as a nexu, an animal from Star Wars, would likely fit into this term.)
Fictionkin: “identifying nonphysically as a fictional character and/or species, partially or wholly.” That identity can be spiritual and/or psychological, and there are any number of explanations for why someone might be fictionkin, but it’s generally understood to be involuntary in the sense that you don’t choose to be fictionkin or choose your fictotypes - you either are, or you are not.
Kintype/Theriotype/Fictotype: the thing someone who is otherkin/a therian/fictionkin (respectively) identifies as. For instance, I am dragonkin; I have a dragon kintype.
Shift: some aspect of your being/experience changing temporarily to become closer to that of your kintype’s. Common examples include phantom shifts (aka supernumerary phantom limbs, the experience of feeling body parts that do not and never have physically existed, ie wings/tail/etc), mental shifts, dream shifts, and others.
Alterhuman: a much broader term encompassing anyone who a) experiences humanity in an “alternative” way, or b) experiences an alternative to humanity in the first place. This includes otherkinity, as well as otherheartedness, otherlinkers and copinglinkers, plurality, daemonism, real vampires, some furries, and many, many others. It’s intentionally a very broad term - alterhuman is to otherkin as queer is to trans, in terms of breadth and being umbrella terms.
“Kinning”: What ‘Kin Isn’t
What you’re most likely thinking, if you’ve had any exposure to “kinning” at all, is “but this doesn’t seem to be what I’ve seen people mean when they say they kin a character! they seem to just mean they relate to it a lot!” That is, unfortunately, a very sad story of misinformation, misunderstandings, and trolls that goes back several years.
Suffice to say: for a number of reasons, non-’kin who were only exposed to bits and pieces of the community out of context misunderstood what “kin” means and started using it to mean something akin (ha) to “mood/me/same/etc”. From there, it’s developed into the mess of misinformation it is today. Things otherkin is not, but which it’s unfortunately common to see people misusing “kin” to mean these days, include:
roleplay (ie, pretending to be something - usually “kinning for fun”)
relating to a character/thing a lot (this may be otherheartedness, but if it’s casual and not important to your sense of self it’s not that either, it’s just relating to the thing)
projecting onto a character/thing
being similar to, but not identifying as, a character/thing
purposely choosing to cultivate a nonhuman identity (this is called copinglinking or otherlinking)
something you do to cope (you don’t “do” otherkin, you are otherkin)
I cannot emphasize enough: this is misuse of our language, and bluntly, it is stealing our language to misuse it. We made these words, many of them decades ago (the word “otherkind,” from which “otherkin” quickly came, was coined in 1990, for example), to describe the specific experience of being nonhuman in a human world, and having them stolen and reduced to “haha, me” is not only insulting, it’s doing real damage to our community.
But that’s another rant, and I’ve said enough to get my point across.
Okay, that’s all well and good, but what does it actually mean to be otherkin?
Good question! It varies. Some common experiences (though no one individual is required to have any number of the things on this list, and there are many things not on the list) include:
Supernumerary phantom limbs/phantom shifts: the experience of feeling body parts that are not and never have been physically present. For example, I feel wings and a tail on a fairly regular basis - not just a sense of weight, but a limb that’s fully movable and has proprioception as strong as my physical limbs some days, so strong that I forget they’re not physical momentarily sometimes.
Shifts: Discussed briefly above, something about yourself changing temporarily to closer match that of your kintype (usually), such as mental shifts, sensory shifts, dream shifts, etc. (Not physical shifting - there’s a long history with p-shifting (physical shifting) cults taking advantage of young otherkins and especially therians, so the communities are pretty vehement in rejecting the notion of p-shifting at this point.)
Nonhuman instincts/urges/behaviors: exactly what it says on the tin. For example, I instinctively make distinctly nonhuman noises and always have; my first instinct when put under threat is to claw or bite, not to hit out like a human would; I have a prey drive that makes me track and instinctively want to chase small prey animals that run away from me; etc.
Seeing oneself as nonhuman: Whether metaphorically, imagining a nonhuman form instead of a human one when you think of yourself, or more literally, being surprised to see a human face in the mirror.
Homesickness/longing: Longing for things you’ve never had - places, people, activities (for me, flight is the big one). And not just longing, but - nostalgia, the same kind of longing you get for something you used to have and you miss, not just something you wish you could have in the future.
Connection/relation to your species: or relatives thereof. Obviously this alone isn’t enough to make most people identify as nonhuman, but it’s often present.
Disconnection from humanity: the converse of the above. Whether because human body language doesn’t click right because there’s another set of body language instincts overriding it, or just because humanity in general doesn’t sit right.
Memories/noemata: “noemata” (singular “noema”) meaning instinctive knowledge about one’s kintype; instinctive Knowing that you can’t change even if you try like you usually can with imagined things.
Species dysphoria: a deep-seated dissatisfaction or unease (dysphoria) related to one’s species. Can be physical (ie distress caused by having a human body) and/or social (ie distress at being called human). No, this is not a transphobic term; dysphoria isn’t exclusive to trans people and there are many forms of dysphoria.
Species euphoria: the converse of dysphoria, a sense of euphoria and happiness at being referred to as/seen as/seeing yourself as your correct species. For instance, being casually referred to as a dragon - especially by non-’kin friends - makes me feel very euphoric, even though I don’t personally experience species dysphoria.
That’s.... all the basics, I think - if you want to hear more, whether about non-’kin but related terms (’linking, ‘heartedness, etc), otherkin and therian community history, or any questions you have about any of this, please feel free to DM me or reblog/reply to this at your convenience! I’m more than happy to explain and answer questions! :3
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