suh dude

idk tbh leskiddit

[evilnicegirl]

my boss accidentally added a wrong number to our group chat 😭

[resurrectedteleport]

losing my shit over this

[slimetony]

Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away

[slimetony]

Why does staff still allow people funnier than you to leave tags on your posts. They should have fixed that by now

[westmansion]

son of a bitch when you spend money the money goes AWAy

[catchymemes]

[luisonte]

Dioooooos

[lasrina]

Watching the first one: Yes, my brain that is used to Atlantic coastal dolphins registers that as the size that orcas probably are.

Watching the second one: OH LAWD HE COMIN'

[miseria-fortes-viros]

yoooo guys these wings my dad made look INSANE i can’t wait to try them tomorrow

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i don’t think you understand i totally thought we were gonna die locked up in this castle but this fucking genius was like “im going to invent a way for humans to fly”. shout out to my dad he’s a real one fr

[miseria-fortes-viros]

LMAOOO this dude told me to be careful as he affixed the wings to my back…..dad no offense but you just invented flying and we have to go high enough to avoid the king’s archers. soo

[miseria-fortes-viros]

HOOOOLY SHIT YOU GUYS I AM SO AFRAID. THE GROUND IS SO FAR. HOW DO BIRDS DO THIS. OH MY GODS OH MY GODS OH MY GODS

[miseria-fortes-viros]

it’s so beautiful up here

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i don’t like seeing the ground. i’m going higher

[miseria-fortes-viros]

it’s cold and i can’t see anything. not sure if that’s better or worse

[miseria-fortes-viros]

by zeus….what is that thing…….it’s as bright as the sun and twice as warm

[miseria-fortes-viros]

the gods look truly down on me this day…apollo calls to me from his chariot of fire. a mere mortal. he must think my flight such a wondrous feat

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i don’t understand why but he’s coming closer. he is not supposed to stray from his path, lest the sun fall from the sky. why does he look so anguished to see me?

[miseria-fortes-viros]

oh. i am in his path

[miseria-fortes-viros]

it’s so hot…was it this hard to fly before? maybe i’m tired

[miseria-fortes-viros]

the wax

[miseria-fortes-viros]

he really does look like the sun…the light emanates from his fingers, his hair, his skin. he means to catch me. i reach for him

[miseria-fortes-viros]

his skin burns. i cannot hold on

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i slip through his fingers.

[miseria-fortes-viros]

it takes a really long time to fall from the sky. longer than i thought

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i wonder if he cried for me

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i pray to him just in case. i am grateful he tried. my palms are red and cracked from where they touched divinity. the ground does not look any closer than it was

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i have not seen my father since we took flight…i hope he escaped. i hope he will not witness this. i wish i could tell him how joyful these wings made me before the wax melted

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i do not regret it. i have seen with my own eyes what others will only dream of

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i am not afraid

[miseria-fortes-viros]

i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am afraid i am afraid i am afraid

[miseria-fortes-viros]

please please please please please pleaseplease

[miseria-fortes-viros]

the gods will not save me. i suppose this is a lesson in hubris. i am forever a flightless thing

[miseria-fortes-viros]

please please please i have no coin for the ferryman if i am to die now i will never reach the realm of hades please turn me into a bird any bird or a bug or something anything please please pleasepleaseplease

[miseria-fortes-viros]

I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM N

[mrsterlingeverything]

Wouldst thou like to live above averagely

[xcathenny]

[depsidase]

[swordseer]

I'm supposed to be raiding this settlement

[scary-terryy]

So I started working again today, and me and my coworker had to squeeze lemons which usually is a really un fun job but TODAY. We had the mostly lovely batch of lemons to work with. So we rated how smoothly they cut and how nice the insides of them looked for about an hour. An absolutely marvelous time I gotta say

[scary-terryy]

And in case anyone was wondering

Here she is. The most lovely lemon I’ve ever laid eyes upon

[scary-terryy]

Just thinking about her. I can’t believe we had to turn her into lemon juice

[stuckinapril]

I don’t care about it at all (I have carried its weight around like a rock on my chest since the very day it happened)

[cosmicretreat]

[comment-tube]

[mothcub]

Taking intentionally bad photos of yourself is so fun because 1. you get funny images, and 2. you have transcended beauty and entered life

[iapislazuli]

I hate when another car forces you to park terribly but then they leave before you and it’s just like great. Well now my atrocious park job is deprived of context and I look like an asshole

[willgrahamscock]

[willgrahamscock]

[none-sex-left-gay]

I know most people see their pets as their children but my cat is my roommate. The fact that she's an adult is so much funnier to me. She's had a rich, troubled kitty life, being a disabled homeless girl who got pregnant and was taken into a shelter and lived as a teenage mom raising her five kids. Watched her babies grow up, find themselves in adulthood and move on to their new families. A young empty nester, no husband, no property, no credit, no job, and social anxiety. She finally finds a roommate willing to pay rent, a young lesbian she can trust and become friends with. Except she has to deal with me baby talking her and scheduling her meals and giving her unwanted kisses on her little soft kitty head