I wonder if my therapist would be mad if I hit him up and said “tell me how to reply to this confrontation I didn’t mean to start”
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@ive-lost-myselfagain
I wonder if my therapist would be mad if I hit him up and said “tell me how to reply to this confrontation I didn’t mean to start”
Four years clean, and I’m back at it again. Happy birthday to me.
I’m upset with myself but I can’t stop
.......
I thought that having an eating disorder meant that you would lose weight. I am literally going insane over a plateaued weight.
Rainer Maria Rilke, Rilke’s Book of Hours
I’ve been so good.
I can’t remember the last time I felt this alone
I’m getting bad again. And unlike every other time, when I’ve sought out help,
This time I’m just letting it infest me.
I want to lose weight. No matter what. I want to feel numb, because I have been stuck in a rut of feeling too much for too long.
Getting lost in myself has never hurt so much.
I don’t know
I don’t know if it was the fact that I moved away from the stress, or that I’m working out longer and harder, or that I’m eating so much less than I did before, but I made it guys.
Goal #1 has been reached. Collarbones are coming back and visible.
Just gotta keep going.
I’m getting bad again...
It’s festival season, and where I am, it’s really hot. I’ve been working out a lot and I’ve lost weight but my thighs and butt have gotten bigger with muscle, but none of last years shorts fit anymore.
I tried buying some new ones today. And although I have been in such a good place about my body, I haven’t felt this low since high school. I haven’t eaten at all today, and I know I should eat but I can’t justify it.
I just can’t do this again.