I lurk in the dark

Now Verity, once Penelope. Female. American. Writer. Multi-fandom blog. Likes a bit of everything. I like reblogging gifs of movies I've recently watched. What else do you want to know...? Ask.

[ivyandcarnation]

Hollanov recs b/c I'm in hell right now and enjoying it

Will update the list as I go. Just my personal favorites, since I've been inhaling so many fanfics that I don't think I can keep track of them all.

Completed unless noted otherwise.

Social Media Fics

MLH Breakdowns #7 | How this one INSANE Free Agency Signing Sparked a Three-Year Hockey Frenzy 😱🏒 (registered users only) -

r/BostonBears Breaking: Ilya Rozanov has decided to test the open market on Wednesday. Rozanov has never been a free agent before. Source: @laffertyonice

In this week's breakdown, we dive into the three years of MLH chaos, heartbreak, and drama on social media, all ignited by this one insane off-season move.

Note: I would marry this fic if it's legally possible to marry a fic.

2. Haydenov Phone Swap (series) -

After a mix-up leaves Hayden with the wrong phone for three days, he ends up learning more about Ilya Rozanov and his secret girlfriend, Jane.

Another Hayden-Finds-Out, because we can't have too many.

*now with the extra continuing Hayden-Rozanov friendship text threads*

Note: This is just chaotic and it's the Haydenov fic of my dreams.

3. Fanning the Flames -

The Voyageurs ask Shane to join FanMail in order to foster a better connection with fans. Internet sleuths start to notice some interesting details in the background of Shane’s videos, and then the internet does...what the internet does.

Or Shane and Ilya are granted an opportunity to come out on their own terms. Sort of. And in they do it in a very Ilya way. (Surprisingly, it is Shane’s idea)

Note: They have agency?!?!?! They come out on their own terms? Sign me up for all of that!

4. Hit Post (series) -

Perez Hilton ✅ @PerezHilton

Viral: Married "gay" hockey star Ilya Rozanov caught IN PUBLIC sexting mystery woman. WITH RECEIPTS!

Note: The third one is my favorite, which is why I copied that description. But all of these are freaking amazing. 10/10.

5. It's all Canadian Vodka's fault -

In the early hours of Saturday, the Hockey world was ablaze with the news that Ilya Rozanov was dead. Killed in a tragic car accident leaving behind a slew of devastated fans and a grieving husband still reeling in shock.

The news also came as an incredible shock to Ilya when he awoke that same day, hungover and bleary, but very much alive. 

Note: Really enjoyable. Also, don't drink and drive.

6. The MILF Theory (And Why the Internet Got It Wrong)

The internet has decided that Ilya Rozanov is absolutely, definitely, 100% banging a Hollander.

They’ve got photo evidence. Multiple sightings. Instagram stories from the same café. The man stayed OVERNIGHT at the Hollander residence.

It’s the most legendary power move in NHL history: seduce your rival’s hot mom to assert dominance. There’s just one tiny problem with this theory. Ilya’s fucking a Hollander, all right. Just … not that one.

Or in which Ilya’s boyfriend's mother keeps adopting him, the internet keeps assuming the worst, and Shane Hollander is having the worst month of his entire life. At least until he does something that breaks hockey forever.

Note: 10/10, excellent Yuna & Ilya interactions. I love Ilya being second son to her. One of the relationships I can't get enough of.

7. the secret society of stick handlers (series) -

Scott: I’ve been getting asked if it’s me. I considered denying but if we all deny and one person doesn’t, that sort of gives their identity away and I’m not sure they want that. Ilya: Everyone thinks is me. My agent asked if I want to comment too Scott: Wait, it's not you? Ilya: Maybe 🤔 Or maybe not 🤪 Eric: What?

Or: When Adrian Dela Cruz reveals he dated an NHL player, chaos and damage control ensue. A story told through texts, tweets, and one pretentious Variety article.

Note: this whole series is a freaking banger

8. @MLHTracker -

MLH Tracker @MLHTracker rozanov81 (Ilya Rozanov) started following 3 and unfollowed 0: ✅ montrealmetros (The Montreal Metros) ✅ shanehollanderofficial (Shane Hollander) ✅ metrosworst (Worst Metros Plays) ⏎ 55 ⟳ 39 ♡ 732 rozanov defender @gremlinroz ... alright who told ilya about the mlh tracker ⏎ 0 ⟳ 10 ♡ 63 lea @rozanovsss getting ready for the game on thursday i see... masterful trolling ⏎ 5 ⟳ 1 ♡ 37

The history of Hollanov, primarily as seen through the MLH Tracker on Twitter.

Note: 10/10, great one-shot

9. ilyuca81 (otherwise known as lucarozanov)

lucarozanov if shane hollander gets mad at me reading about him getting blasted in the ass then he can check his bank account. i know ilya would be chill with it though

Luca Haas tries very hard to not let anyone know about his dark (read: embarrassing) past. Unfortunately, the fans are ready to let people know for him.

Or, Luca used to run a tumblr blog for Hollanov and the internet goes wild.

Note: ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

10. hot mics and hotter rivalries (series) -

Shane Hollander is going to murder his agent.

And he means that literally. Because his agent is the reason he’s currently wearing a hot mic during Hockey Night in Canada. Against the Ottawa Centaurs. Against Ilya.

Ilya, who has no filter. Ilya, who thinks workplace professionalism is a hilarious suggestion for other people. Ilya, who has spent a decade perfecting the art of saying absolutely unhinged things to Shane on the ice, safe in the knowledge that nobody can hear him.

Ilya, who definitely doesn’t know about the microphone.

What follows is sixty minutes of Shane’s life flashing before his eyes while his secret boyfriend enthusiastically discusses their sex life, their broken furniture, and exactly what he wants to do to Shane after the game — all broadcast to millions of viewers.

The problem? Shane can’t get a word in edgewise to warn him.

Note: This is just pure unadulterated enjoyable Grade A crack.

11. shane hollander boy kisser confirmed! -

In 2021, Shane Hollander reveals his relationship with former rival Ilya Rozanov to the shock of chronically online people worldwide, who’ve spent the last decade convincing the world he’s secretly in love with his teammate Hayden Pike

feng (she/her) @flowerfeng · Apr 3, 2021 gotta feel bad for shane hollander. like imagine everyone wishing you were in a secret gay relationship. and you gotta spend your career swearing you’re not in a secret gay relationship. but you ARE in a secret gay relationship. just w the wrong guy booboo the fool @cinnacin · Apr 4, 2021 shane hollander w a hand on the bible: no im not in a decade-long secret relationship w fellow hockey player hayden pike roger cromwell: ok say it again without the hayden pike part  shane hollander: sweats nervously 

(Or, imagine if #Shayden was the #LarryStylinson of the HR/GC universe)

Note: I can never get enough of Shayden accusations while hollanov is just sneaking around in the background.

Omegaverse

Bare -

“Fuck.” Shane melted into the strong hand at his neck, the pressure over his throat and the heat of the Alpha’s palm. “Fuck, that’s–” his eyes started to flutter closed, his knees going weak, but he heard the Alpha huff a laugh and immediately stiffened again. 

“Don’t do that.” he warned. “Don’t laugh like me letting you put your hand on my throat is predictable submissive Omega behavior and you're making fun of me."

“That is not why i was laughing.” Ilya squeezed Shane’s throat lightly, his thumb pressing over the suppressant patch covering the Omega's bonding spot and blocking his sweet scent. “I thought you would fight it, fight submitting. But you didn’t.”

“No I–” Shane swallowed hard. “I like it.” 

“Good.” Ilya smiled slow and a little dangerous, running his tongue over his bottom lip and then over the sharp ends of his fangs before he leaned in and growled into the Omega’s ear. “Now get on your knees.”

Note: This is marked as completed, but I'm like... I want one more chapter. Please sir, can I have one more chapter?

2. Where Blue Is (WIP)

Welcome to 2025 MHL — where being gay isn’t a scandal, but having the Big Bad Russian Alpha Captain of Boston Raiders openly thirsting over the Pretty Omega Rookie of Montreal Metros definitely is.

Nineteen year-old Shane Hollander just wanted to play hockey. After a viral scandal – collapsing on the ice and experiencing his first heat on national television during the International Prospect Cup – the Montreal Metros gave him a chance to rewrite his narrative. A life-changing entry contract. A media spotlight. And the title of the first omega in the MHL.

Enter Ilya Rozanov: twenty-nine-year-old MHL veteran, Boston Raiders captain, and resident villain fans love to hate. An alpha who never forgets a pretty face once he’s seen it.

And Shane Hollander has a very pretty face.

A story for those who love confident, experienced Ilya courting a shy and overwhelmed Shane, who tries very hard to pretend he doesn’t enjoy it. Expect a ten-year age gap, primal tension, and an alpha taking care of his Babyboy Shane in public and private. Potential daddy kink.

Semi-omegaverse. No mpreg. No babies. (I don’t like babies, sorry, lmao.)

Slow-burn progression.

Note: Yooooo, Ilya has such a great mic drop moment in this one. Still a WIP, but honestly 10/10.

3. Heat sheet

Back in his apartment, post-game haze thick, heat triggered early by a certain alpha, Shane does something he’s never done. He opens the league app, finds the anonymous heat assistance sign-up sheet, and posts.

Emergency heat. Unbonded omega. One night only. No claiming. No media. Discretion required. Address in DM.

He hits submit before he can overthink it.

Note: im fucking forthing at the mouth for more updates on this one.

4. Leave Your Mark

A quick flip through of the magazine in question had his cheeks heating immediately; when he got to the centerfold in question, it flipped out to a trifolded image, full spread…

Of a naked Omega.

He was, objectively, handsome; you probably had to be, to get a photoshoot with what Shane was quickly realizing was a glorified skin mag. But the thing that caught Shane’s attention was the dark marks that littered the Omega’s skin.

Shane swallowed hard, unreasonably affected by the image.

He didn’t want the Omega.

But he could see the appeal of being him.

Note: Just FUCKING READ THIS. IT'S GOOD

Trade AUs

Home Ice Advantage

“You’re going to Boston.”

Long after Farah hangs up, the words keep echoing in Shane’s head. If he had thought his thoughts had been chaotic this morning, when his biggest problem had been his rival potentially fucking him when he came to Montreal in two weeks, that’s nothing compared to the code-red panic that started the instant he found out he was being traded to Rozanov’s team.

Rozanov, who was supposed to be his great career rival. Rozanov, who he’s hooked up with twice now. Rozanov, who had been planning on coming to Shane’s apartment in Montreal to fuck him the next time they saw each other. God, how on Earth is Shane going to walk into his locker room in Boston in a few days time?

The impending awkwardness of dealing with Rozanov is almost enough to eclipse the hurt he’s trying to ignore. The knowledge that Montreal values him so little that they’re willing to dispose of him only six months into his rookie season. Almost, but not quite.

-

Or, Shane gets traded to Boston AU.

Note: This one is the one that made me realize I gotta create this list. B/c i have memory of goldfish. So when this goldfish went to read this, it took me like one chapter in to realize, oops, read this one before.

AUs

and i spit out the seeds

A video of Shane sucking Ilya’s dick is leaked. Over the next twenty-four hours, Ilya goes on an odyssey.

Note: The one where a sex tape is leaked. Really great.

2. The Chaos Theorem (or: Shane Hollander needs a nap and a therapist. He got Ilya instead)

Welcome to the Ultimate Game.

If you’re looking for a chronicle of redemption or, worse yet, a fairy tale ending with a kiss under the snow, you’ve walked into the wrong locker room. This is the story of a sabotage.

For ten years, the hockey world has feasted on the rivalry between two captains with the same hunger one brings to a public execution. And us? We served them the blood on a silver platter, while in the shadows of hotel rooms in Montreal or Boston, we exchanged fluids and secrets with the precision of two spies in enemy territory.

They believe the ice is a sanctuary of heterosexual secrets. They don’t realize that while they were betting on our next elbow to the face, they were witnessing a long, violent decade of foreplay.

Now, it’s time for El Plan.

Shane is the butterfly flapping its wings on an underwear billboard. I am the tornado about to level the entire NHL.

Grab your popcorn. It’s going to be a beautiful massacre.

My name is Ilya Rozanov, and you can thank me later.

Or: how Shane and Ilya gaslit the entire world by officially "starting to date" in 2020.

Note: Alternate way of coming out. It's fucking gold.

3. jane dutch (WIP)

Shane Hollander has a secret life. No, not the one where he's hiding his trysts with his rival.

He's a pseudonymous hockey romance author under the alias Jane Dutch.

And the Metros WAGs have just picked up his first release for their book club...

Note: SHANE AS A ROMANCE NOVEL WHILE ALSO PLAYING NHL. READ IT IT"S SO FUCKING GOOD

4. I'll Believe in Anything (Except That)

In another timeline, Shane and Ilya hook up in room 1410, nothing goes wrong, and everything plays out exactly as we know it.

In this one, Yuna Hollander walks in before Ilya can leave—and the seven-year situationship never gets the chance to start. Instead, through the power of miscommunication, Shane and Ilya start dating in 2010. With better support, they make better decisions. Their rivalry fizzles out before it ever has the chance to fully ignite, replaced instead by a beloved “bromance". In 2015, they come out to the NHL and the world.

No one believes them.

Or: Somehow, despite Shane and Ilya being out for two years, Scott Hunter is still considered the first openly gay player in the NHL, much to Ilya’s horror.

Note: Boyfriends by the way of misunderstanding. Yeah, it's like as if they slipped and fell on a dick and it slipped instead. But instead of a dick, it was a relationship.

Soulmate AUs

1. Okay, not okay -

Soulmarks are supposed to be a blessing, or so people say. Shane disagrees. They appear as the first words your soulmate will ever speak to you, written on your skin in your soulmate's handwriting. But Shane's is a simple and underwhelming "ok." So mundane he has long since stopped noticing the words when they're spoken to him.

"I'm not sure you're supposed to smoke here" Shane said as he approached the Russian player. "Ok"

Note: SOULMATE AU. I honestly can't get enough of soulmate AUs.

2. the heart is hard to translate -

Shane is twelve when he realizes he can understand Russian.

Or, in a world where you can understand whatever language(s) your soulmate speaks, it takes Shane and Ilya an embarrassing amount of time to realize they’re soulmates.

Note: You have no idea how many times I wanted to tear my hair out due to this fic yet also can't help but squee in excitement.

3. You Can Lie (Not to Me) -

Every time your soulmate lies, their words are written on you.

Shane doesn’t lie often. His soulmate does though.

Note: Gosh, every time Ilya tells Shane to tell the truth, I'm just like shot through the heart. God, so good.

Post Heated Rivalry

Asylum

Ilya Rozanov has a Stanley Cup, a dog with anxiety, and a husband who organizes spice racks by cuisine. What he doesn't have is Canadian citizenship. When a politically motivated challenge threatens his immigration case, the life he and Shane built in Ottawa becomes the thing he has to prove — to a government that wants documents, a public that wants scandal, and a country he chose for the only reason that mattered.

Notes: As a polisci major, this fic scratched a good itch in me.

Others

still the best (still an asshole) -

Four times Ilya Rozanov reminded everyone exactly who the fuck they were dealing with (spoiler: still an asshole, still elite, still not going anywhere), and one time he didn’t have to be anything except soft.

Or being out didn’t make him nicer. Being married didn’t make him softer. Being older didn’t make him weaker. And being a father? Well. That’t when things get complicated.

(He’s really good at that last part. Don’t tell anyone.)

Note: Honestly, I can't get enough of Ilya being a big softie while being asshole on the outside.

I'll see if I get around to updating this list as I keep reading. But these are truly bangers in my heart.

[lilliesandpucks]

“your face isn’t even in it, Hollander. calm down.”

[flyora]

Harris do his best as always

[gaynehollander]

Shane set out to learn Russian because he didn't want the burden of communicating in their second language to always fall on Ilya, by default. He also wanted to learn more about Ilya's culture through the language, he wanted to hear his husband make jokes in his mother tongue, to get to know the side of him that comes out entirely unimpeded when he doesn't have to filter himself through his second language. He expected to mostly use it at home, perhaps especially when Ilya was feeling overwhelmed. However, once Shane actually learns Russian to the point that he's fully conversational, they mostly use it to shit talk people in public.

[the-witch-of-the-wandering-ways]

My new period-appropriate crack headcanon is that the boston raiders once used akinator to figure out who montreal jane is and it kept telling them if was shane hollander and they kept thinking it was the weirdest fucking bug

[totearup]

In my head Shane is 14 when one of his coaches finds him on the ice doing extra drills after practice and he makes some Crack like, "Guess you're not a once in a generation talent after all." And Shane is surprised and doesn't know what he means, and thinks maybe he did something wrong? A stupid newspaper called him a generational talent a couple months ago and the kids on his team - well it's fine. They're still winning. "More like twice huh?" The coach finishes. He holds up a DVD in an unlabled jewel case (because it's 2005) "Got something you're going to want to see."

The coach takes him to the video room and puts the DVD in, "There's a kid in Russia, same age as you. They're saying he's the next Gordie Howe."

He presses play and they watch a shaky video of two Russian teams. Shane's heart starts racing as he watches. He can immediately tell who coach is talking about. One of them is clearly faster and smarter than the rest, moving through the defense with a slick confidence that Shane immediately finds fascinating.

"His name is uh," coach digs though a pile of paper, "Romanof or something." He finds what he's looking for, "Ilya Rozanov. He'll be draft eligible the same year you will."

Shane feels that same sense of determination, terror, and joy he always feels when one of his coaches talks about him getting drafted like it's a forgone conclusion. He keeps watching the kid on the ice, the same age as him, and very good, and also already set for the draft.

His play style is fascinating, and when his shift is over Shane grabs the remote to fast forward to the next time he gets on the ice, wanting to see more.

His coach laughs and claps him on the shoulder, "Don't worry about him too much. You won't be playing him for a couple of years."

Shane watches this boy skate around his teammates like it's easy, like he's bored, maybe as bored as Shane sometimes is with his own team. He can't wait.

[bees-reads]

After Shane and Ilya get married Ilya is so happy to finally change his pfp to be one of him and Shane. To piss Ilya off Hayden also changes his pfp to him and Shane. Cue different NHL players slowly changing their pfp to photos of them and Shane. It basically becomes and unspoken trend that when you enter the NHL you need to get a photo with Shane Hollander to change your pfp as a right of passage.

[shane-bug]

✨️ I married my best friend ✨️

insp.

[the-witch-of-the-wandering-ways]

My new period-appropriate crack headcanon is that the boston raiders once used akinator to figure out who montreal jane is and it kept telling them if was shane hollander and they kept thinking it was the weirdest fucking bug

[gaynehollander]

A few years into Shane playing for Ottawa, one of the younger Centaurs, maybe Holmberg, comes to him with a problem. He has been sleeping with this girl for a while now and he's so into her but she travels for work and he knows she has a couple of regular hookups all over the place. So, since Shane - judging by Cap's reputation - has been in a similar position, he asks him how he convinced Roz to be exclusive.

Shane stares at him, uncomprehendingly, for a second before slowly replying, "...I didn't."

Holmberg gives him a deeply skeptical look. "I've seen the way you react when people flirt with Roz in front of you," he says, "there's no way you guys have an open relationship."

"No," Shane clarifies immediately. He would rather set himself on fire than have to live with sharing his husband with another person. "No, we're exclusive," he confirms, "but I never asked him to stop sleeping with other people. He just kind of... stopped. I didn't even find out until a few months after it happened so, I don't know, maybe just wait it out?"

Eventually, the Centaurs learn that, although Cap and Hollzy have clearly found in each other what most people spend their lives searching for, they are the absolute worst people to ask for any type of relationship advice.

[emmiegoesinsane]

shane when he joins the ottawa centaurs:

[morganasmissus]

just realized that Heated Rivalry came out after October. which means this year will be Shane and Ilya’s first kinktober. everyone hold on

[mutinsfromthemoon]

a short au idea where shane dropping by supriste at his girlfriend’s house because he was on a work trip and when he knocks on her door it takes a while to swing open, and when it finally does he’s face to face with a half-naked man he’s never seen before and his girlfriend appears behind him and turns all apologetic and starts crying when she notices shane at the door and starts saying it’s not what it looks like and begging for forgiveness, but shane just stands there barely listening, only having eyes for the guy who’s leaning against the doorframe looking completely unbothered, smirking like he’s actually enjoying the whole scene, and it makes shane so mad, so he pulls his hand away from his ex’s grip, breaks up with her, and leaves. he goes straight to his car but doesn’t turn the engine on, just leans his forehead against the steering wheel and stays there for like fifteen minutes, until he hears someone knock on his window and looks up and it’s the guy, so he rolls the window down and snaps “what do you want?”and the guy goes “i didn’t know she had a boyfriend” and shane’s like “so what?” and the guy, smirking just like before, goes “if i knew she had a boyfriend who looked like you, i would’ve been chasing you instead of her” and shane’s thinking this situation is absurd (and secretly pleased) and just asks “what the fuck is your problem?” and the guy goes “my problem is that i clearly chose the wrong one, now you can help me correct it, right?” and he winks at shane, who just flips him off, rolls up the window, and drives away. later shane is at a bar telling what happened to his friends when someone slides into the booth next to him and it’s the guy and his friend rose goes “shane, this is ilya, he’s the guy i met at the painting class and was telling you that you two would be great friends” and shane is sitting there horrified and speechless while ilya gives him that same satisfied smirk and goes “oh shane, we’re definitely going to be GREAT friends” and now shane is truly fucked

[jewelcoatfish]

people at david’s place of work having a game called: is he talking about shane hollander or ilya rozanov? because david brags about them by referring to both of them as “my son”, and he’s not entirely aware he’s causing confusion either, so now his place of work knows a lot and at the same time very little about shane and ilya lmao

[snowsmoked]

I do think that Shane gets a Russian language tutor. He sees that Ilya is always having to think, speak, and translate in his second language. And he knows that Ilya is fluent by this point, but if he's serious about forever with Ilya (which he is) he wants Ilya to be able to communicate with his boyfriend in his native language. He also saw how much his grandparents struggled with learning English as adults and how much more expressive and talkative they were when they spoke Japanese at home together.

So he gets a tutor. He meticulously researches her (she's from Moscow, so he'll learn from someone with Ilya's same accent). She's signed to more NDAs than he can count. She has 10 years of experience, she's certified to teach English and Russian, and she has 4.8 stars on MyTutor.

Shane pays her a frankly concerning amount of money to make house calls. Twice weekly, unless he's on the road, she arrives at his apartment to teach him foundational Russian. She gives him workbooks, Russia cartoon recommendation, podcasts for beginners, etc. He tells her he's learning because his boyfriend is Russian and she outlines a course that focuses on domestic language first (as opposed to travel or business). She even teaches him what she calls a 'culture course' with lessons on Russian music, food, and various traditions.

She's only a few years older than Shane and he actually finds himself looking forward to her visits. At this point, she's the only person other than his parents that knows he has a boyfriend.

About 4 months in, Shane finally feels comfortable enough to ask about what he'd been very excited about learning.

"You want me to teach you how to talk dirty to your boyfriend?" Ekaterina raised an eyebrow.

"Um," Shane blushed. Was this a little too far? Was this inappropriate to ask of a tutor? "Yes? If - If that's okay, I mean."

A slow smirk spread over her face. "This will be fun. Fun for me, now. Fun for you, later."

"I made a list," Shane admitted. He wasn't going to back out now, he put a lot of thought into his list. He turned to it in his Russian notebook and handed it to her.

She scanned over it indifferently. "You will use all this in one night?"

"Yeah, probably. Is it too much?"

"It is good you have a Russian man," Ekaterina said. "They have good stamina. Mostly, anyway."

And while it was a little embarrassing for Ekaterina to correct his pronunciation of please let me suck your cock, it helped that she seemed just as comfortable with that as there is tea on the stove.

Though, maybe he shouldn't have learned those phrases at the same time, because Ilya will never, for as long as they live, allow him to forget asking, while down on his knees and with excellent pronunciation, please let me suck your tea.

[academicblorbo]

Everyone: omg Hollander leash your dog, Ilya is barking at opponent hockey players again

Shane Enabler Hollander: ok so Ilyusha this player has had zero assists in the entire season, he got drafted last, and finally - and this is crucial - he once scored a goal in his own team's net

Ilya Heart Eyes Rozanov: thank you my ShaneWiki this is valuable data, off I go

[butimaficwriter]

before dick and kisses

after dick and kisses

from 😾 to 🙂: an ilya rozanov guide to keeping your shane happy