literally garbage @iwantolisykes - Tumblr Blog

Every day during lunch there will be several parties of two straight men having lunch together, that insist I seat them at a table for four even though there are only two of them. Because I guess homosexuality can be transmitted through accidental undertable foot contact now? Who knew?

Right now you might be asking “What happens when four straight men are having lunch together?”

Well what do you think?

They ask for a table for six. I shit you not.

I was airing my humorous grievance to our daytime bartender who only nodded and said. “They order wine and ask me to bring it in a pilsner glass.”

The cocktail server corroborated this saying some straight men will demand he show them the glass a drink comes in to make sure it’s suitably “masculine” looking before they order it.

And the dishwashers hate this because it makes their jobs much more complicated. It’s really not fun to have to drop what you’re doing to scrub dried red wine out of the bottom of a narrow pilsner glass. Especially when they have literally THOUSANDS of other dishes you have to do in a short amount of time.

Straight men ask for special accomodations for their straightness all the time.

That being said, Disabled folks, chronically ill folks, folks with severe allergies and other special needs:

NEVER feel ashamed to request the accomodations you require to enjoy your time at a restaurant. Hand to God we are happy to do it for you- a person who actually needs it.

It would honestly be a nice break from catering to all that fragile masculinity.

itsaubreylmfao

do you ever see a picture of someone with a body like yours and you’re momentarily comforted like they look pretty good…i probably look good too

justthinkingaboutcatsagain

which is why fat representation is so so important

themushr000m

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

fuckthisbloganditscurses

Happiness Will Come To You.

12goblins

when tho

fuckthisbloganditscurses

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

wizardshark

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

thoodleoo

the worst part about reading ancient roman philosophy is that sometimes you’ll read something expressly saying that people shouldn’t do something that you do frequently and it’s like diogenes threw a plucked chicken at you from 2000 years ago

thoodleoo

like

marcus aurelius just fuckin @ me next time

quousque

YES I WAS BORN TO HUDDLE UNDER BLANKETS YOU DON’T KNOW ME MARK

unclefather

how to kiss a boy

grab his waist

slip your hand in his pocket

steal his wallet

dont even kiss him

just run

sexyyuglyy

vacationadventuresociety

this might be my favorite post on tumblr ever

not-quitenormal

THAT FUCKING FACE

asanaambitions

This is my favourite thing ever

turing-tested

friendship between lgbt people is so confusing always bc it’s like am i love with you or is it that a lifetime of isolation has driven us to form deeper bonds than our cishet compatriots along with the knowledge that we’re more inclined to cast aside social ettiquite and emotional walls found in cishet friendships because we are so starved for closeness with people who understand and share our identities? wild

tardigradetheking

you know you can say how its hard to tell the difference between love and friendship with out calling heterosexuals emotionally closed off.

turing-tested

idk how to tell you this but they are

12b6

On Starting Law School & Elle Woods

In Legally Blonde, Elle says the famous words, “what, like it’s hard?”

It’s become some sort of a mantra for female students applying to and starting law school. As kickass as this moment was in the movie, however, there’s something very important to note here.

She says these words in reference to getting into law school, not actually attending law school, which, as you recall, she immediately struggles with.

Getting into law school is deceptively simple. There are no prerequisites. Elle’s undergrad had nothing to do with law, or anything even in the humanities. Her focus was in fashion.

All it takes to get into a law school is to have gone through undergrad and to have taken the LSAT. There is no “passing” score on the LSAT, and you will be able to find a law school that accepts you somewhere in the USA if you have taken it at all. It won’t be a good law school, but it will be a law school.

Getting into a good law school, like Harvard, requires a good GPA and LSAT score. If you have a 3.9 GPA and 175+ LSAT, you’re almost guaranteed to get into Harvard Law.

I will not downplay what an impressive feat this is, but you still need to realize that both a high undergrad GPA and a high LSAT score are things that to some, come easily. We all know those kids in college who got straight A’s without trying, and kids who did well on standardized tests (like the SAT) without really trying.

Elle had a 4.0 GPA (so yes, she’s smart), and yes she struggled with increasing her LSAT practice score but she still got a 179 (a score I actually never heard of in real life) on the first try. Meaning, she’s a great test taker.

This has very little to do with how one feels while in law school.

At most law schools, you do not have any exams until the finals. Instead you are expected to only keep taking in information, without being tested on them in any formal manner, and you need to do this in ridiculous volume and speed. You need to be reading cases for 4, 5 classes that all meet nearly everyday, and retaining all this information. It’s not easy. It’s not designed to be easy.

The film made this as clear as it could. Elle’s struggles with getting into Harvard were not even half the battle. It was a cute, fun montage of her studying for the LSAT and putting together a video essay. Once law school starts, she initially crashes and burns, in more ways than one. And then she realizes she really needs to get her shit together.

It can be very discouraging for these hopeful Elle Woodses to start law school and then realize how difficult it is in comparison to everything they’ve done before. But it’s important to remember that their heroine, Elle Woods, struggled, too. You can do it. You can get through it. Just remember:

batteredshoes

Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.— James 5:1-6

arythusa

At first I thought this was an angry Tumblr post but then it turned out to be the Literal Bible and it got 1000x better

sy5starplaty

#remember when jesus literally ran through a temple and destroyed a bunch of merchandise #classic jesus (@stuckonpageone)

earthdad

this is the best news i’ve heard in ages

77777777777777777777222-deactiv

Romeo bout to catch some cheeks

dookiediamonds-deactivated20200

the scientists

jovan

angreav

girlbossjodiarias

[unending fart noise]

bubblegum-pwussay

They literally hate for employees to do anything but slave away I swear

jamaicanblackcastoroil

This is literally my job I get all my work done in an hour and my boss always trying to catch me sitting down

danielle-mertina

Most office jobs really don’t require 40 hours a week of work. You should be able to just do what you need to do and then move on. Offices would be more efficient if people were rewarded (with going home) when they finish stuff early.

I don’t know why most jobs want you to sit doing nothing for like 8 hours a day. Who does that benefit?

thetrashiestoftrash

Psst it benefits an economy built on the premise that your time and energy are extremely limited.

joshsundquist

Restroom signs got me like

tigerleggies-deactivated2019121

This is GOLD

unclefather

fedorathexplorer

that’s gon-

fedorathexplorer

that’s gonna leave a-

boss-hoody

justice4artpop-deactivated20180

trinity taylor just blocked me on my drag race insta acc because she uploaded this photo and i commented “seems like the doctor can only do one face” shgdhasgd iconic