Boom

I'm a carnivore

[ankha85]

[arachnopus]

[punchodile-defunct]

This was already funny without the translation, but now that I understand it’s even funnier

[just-shower-thoughts]

You’re only as comfortable as the least comfortable piece of clothing you’re wearing.

[marisatomay]

like….not 2 get into this really but..freedom of speech means that the government can’t tell you what you can and can’t say. freedom of speech does not protect you from the social/private repercussions of your actions

[marisatomay]

furthermore: freedom of speech does not entitle you to a soapbox and a bullhorn. people don’t have to listen to you. they don’t have to give you a platform. you’re allowed to say what you want but no one is required to listen to you or help you say it.

[syntacked]

“Before I was yours, I was mine.”

— Unknown (via syntacked)

[lucifers-ass-cheek]

[sirduke]

*legendary Pokémon awakens from a 1000 year slumber* roight wots all this then

[mud]

[afatlittledog]

me @ the demons that stand at the end of my bed:

it’s a lot warmer under the covers if you wanna come cuddle

[insomniac-arrest]

why I use ‘y’all’

it’s fun to say

gender neutral 

I like rubbing my gay little hands all over southern culture out of spite

fun to say

[memewhore]

[zooeydeschanel]

“How many times in your life have you been excluded from something important or talked over or ignored because you’re the only woman in the room?”

[rocker-doctor]

One of my favorite stories:

My mom was working as a lawyer when she was pregnant with my twin siblings. Late in her third trimester she had a court date. She asked the judge if it could be postponed due to her pregnancy but he refused saying she was “making a ridiculous excuse.” So she squeezed into the biggest maternity suit she could find and went to the courthouse. When she stood up in front of the judge, 8 months pregnant with twins and clearly in no condition to be standing for an extended period, the blood drained from his face. He tried to backtrack saying she could sit down, but being my mom, she chose to stand and glare at him for the whole damn hearing. He found in her client’s favor.

[syntacked]

Actions speak louder than words, and silence speaks louder than both.

[8bitnatsuki-deactivated20200525]

hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year

[taragrimface]

(from a 2015 interview)

i hope she’s comfortable

[hella-gay-trash]

Please don’t forget the best one so far^^^

[eiruriofidkewoeeifjjdis374738-d]

another example of Koko’s humour by Jane Goodall:

[autumngracy]

Nothing pleases me more than to learn the fact that apes also will look at a thing and go “it me”

[chimericaloutlier]

#hardsame

[just-shower-thoughts]

If you and a same sex friend are eating out and request just one check and the waitress sets it down in front of you, she decided you’re the top.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Peppers are the spicy of the fire, mint is the spicy of the ice, carbonation is the spicy of the air, and vinegar is the spicy of the water.

[catbushandludicrous]

[graceebooks]

OH MY GOD

[theseaisalesbian]

It’s back

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

[fedkaczynski]

What’s funny is that this actually happened. 

[allamericankindofguy-actual]

I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate

[fedkaczynski]

Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis. 

[ethereal-insight-deactivated201]

Did he survive?

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).

[doctor-roman]

His name was Aimo Koivunen if you want to look him up

[misteryada]

Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed