dead.

kira izuru/indie/selective/limited ship/multiverse/written by peeb.

[izuru-ru]

//I think I’m finally okay with my lack of Izuru muse. 

The only reason I made him (and got into RP at all, actually) was as a favor to a friend who needed a baby birb to interact with. That person is long-gone from my life for shitty reasons. I’ve always loved Izuru and he’s one of my favorite characters, but I feel like I’ve tried to force myself to get excited about him for a long time. 

He’s not going away, but I’m just coming to terms with my lack of activity. Of late I’ve been on my Shinji blog ( @syncopxte ) and having a really great time because I’ve loved Shinji for longer and even more, but felt this sense of loyalty to playing Izuru that I think might stem from an unhealthy place. He’s a wonderful birb who I identify with, and he’s a good outlet for me but he’s just fading away.

Maybe I’m too happy and stable, ha. Maybe I’m dealing with my problems in a healthy way now and just can’t tap into Izuru’s failures in that respect.

Anyway. He’ll be here if you need him. Feel free to send asks and maybe I’ll even RB some memes now and again but I just don’t want people to keep waiting on replies from me that won’t ever come.

He’s my main account so I’ll still be doing all my following/liking from here. My other sideblog is Cang Du ( @jiiaian ), and he’ll be around as well. 

[syncopxte]

https://aj-muller.blog/2018/06/25/the-deadline/

//my latest blog post. tw for suicidal ideation.

[izuru-ru]

//I think I’m finally okay with my lack of Izuru muse. 

The only reason I made him (and got into RP at all, actually) was as a favor to a friend who needed a baby birb to interact with. That person is long-gone from my life for shitty reasons. I’ve always loved Izuru and he’s one of my favorite characters, but I feel like I’ve tried to force myself to get excited about him for a long time. 

He’s not going away, but I’m just coming to terms with my lack of activity. Of late I’ve been on my Shinji blog ( @syncopxte ) and having a really great time because I’ve loved Shinji for longer and even more, but felt this sense of loyalty to playing Izuru that I think might stem from an unhealthy place. He’s a wonderful birb who I identify with, and he’s a good outlet for me but he’s just fading away.

Maybe I’m too happy and stable, ha. Maybe I’m dealing with my problems in a healthy way now and just can’t tap into Izuru’s failures in that respect.

Anyway. He’ll be here if you need him. Feel free to send asks and maybe I’ll even RB some memes now and again but I just don’t want people to keep waiting on replies from me that won’t ever come.

He’s my main account so I’ll still be doing all my following/liking from here. My other sideblog is Cang Du ( @jiiaian ), and he’ll be around as well. 

[syncopxte]

with your feet in the air and your head on the ground try this trick and spin it, yeah your head will c o l l a p s e, but there’s nothing in it and you’ll ask yourself– where is my mind?

indie Shinji Hirako of BLEACH.

written by Peeb. sideblog of @izuru-ru.

multiverse. multiship. 18+ & selective.

[izuru-ru]

"Guess what, my love?" He doesn't even leave him room to guess, he is to excited! "One of my dearest friends is getting /married/." He might already know. After all, he is somewhat close to Fuyuno-taichou, is he not? "Kensei is /tying the knot/ and I am co-best man, which means we are attending a wedding sometime in the future!"

“Oka-ch-- Miki already told me.” But he grins, ambling gently over to his new-ish beau, slinking his arms around that sturdy but slim waist. “Co-best man? Is that a thing?” It hardly matters, as he’s sure he won’t be involved but to cheer Rose on from the sidelines. “This is going to be a big deal, isn’t it? They’re both captains...”

[izuru-ru]

Izuru, a Gin apologist: Gin apologists don’t interact

[izuru-ru]

It's still morning when she unceremoniously bursts through his office door. Without words she slams her left hand down on his desk, a ring glints under the low light on her finger. He's the first person she's told, if she can actually get any words out.

“Holy shit--” He’s on his feet, padding around his desk to take her dainty hand in his, beaming at the utter rock she’s been given. “Oka-chan...” He’s not sure why he feels so emotional, or why he can’t stop a grin from forming on his gaunt face. “That’s great...” He embraces her, limbs skinny and weak, but he hopes she gets the idea, just how over-the-moon he is. Or would be, had he the energy. “When...?” He mumbles into her hair, his voice a little quaky. 

[syncopxte]

with your feet in the air and your head on the ground try this trick and spin it, yeah your head will c o l l a p s e, but there’s nothing in it and you’ll ask yourself– where is my mind?

indie Shinji Hirako of BLEACH.

written by Peeb. sideblog of @izuru-ru.

multiverse. multiship. 18+ & selective.

[izuru-ru]

monkifuraibo:

“I’m jealous.” He admits. “But I’m not hung up, or whatever.” He thinks maybe he can get over Izuru while still getting to see him. He doesn’t know of anyone who that has worked for, but he can be the first, right? He just misses him. A lot. And to hear that Izuru has missed him too makes his chest feel tight. It’s not love. He convinces himself. Not like that, anyway. He can be friends. 

In any case.. He needs to convince Izuru that they can be friends.

“I actually.. Met someone at the gym the other day…” Not quite, he is making things seem a bit more than they are. The guy was cute though. “Dark ‘n handsome, ya know?” He grinned. “I think he said he was in publishing, or editin or somethin’ so.. That’s up your alley, right?”

He hates himself. He hates that hearing Renji might be getting over him makes him feel like pouting. God dammit, Izuru, can’t you just be happy with what you’ve got? The love of a man so kind? 

“Good.” He believes it, and he’s honest, even if he’s selfish. He wants Renji to find someone. He wants him to be happy. He deserves it, selfless as he is. “You guys gonna meet up?” His interest is not feigned, even if he sounds like he’s being forced to ask.

[izuru-ru]

@monkifuraibo

"Why not? You're my /best friend/." Best friends do that, no matter how much they wished this love could be /romantic/. "Could you stop rejecting that for like.. A day?" He knows it's hard, and maybe he shouldn't see Izuru at all anymore, but the thought of that simply aches so badly he won't entertain it. "Where'd you go, anyway..?" Not that he was a stalker, but when he came by one time Izuru wasn't there, and then days later again he wasn't there..

“Am I...?” How was it that Renji could so easily get past the rift between them? Izuru worried he was faking it, ignoring it...trying to restore things to a way they never truly were. “I was...I was in America, with Rojuro.” He hates how snide his voice sounds. It makes him want to cry, like the child he was when they met. “Look, Renji, I just...I need to know that you’re...that you’re okay. That you’re not...” Izuru’s self-esteem hardly lets him finish the thought. “Hung up, or whatever...” He wrings his hands, turns around, looking at Renji with an ancient desperation, like he once did. Back when he was the only person he had. “...I do miss you, you know...”

[izuru-ru]

“The things I would do for you terrify me.” //how bouts modern au

It’s just cruel, how Renji uses Izuru’s flair for drama to make him question his stalwart devotion to his new love. It makes him angry as much as it makes him teeter on the edge of swooning.

“Don’t.” He turns away, skinny arms folded, to look out the window of his pathetically shining apartment. It’s a monument to his abandonment of Renji, he’s decided, even if he knows that’s not true. His self-loathing doesn’t end. “You don’t have to do shit for me, Renji.”

[izuru-ru]

♞ - physically pick my muse up and carry them (For some dramatic reason I’m sure)

“M’fine…” His protest is weak, squirming feebly in her surprisingly strong arms as she hoists him off the cold ground. “Just had a trip…on the thing…” The thing was air. He had simply fallen over his own toes. “You can’t…carry me all the way back, Oka-chan…” Not that he could do it himself with any measure of ease. His head was utterly spinning, and maybe hers was too. They’d been out together for hours, lamenting their lonesomeness, their bitterness. “Less just…sit down a bit…”

[syncopxte]

with your feet in the air and your head on the ground try this trick and spin it, yeah your head will c o l l a p s e, but there’s nothing in it and you’ll ask yourself– where is my mind?

indie Shinji Hirako of BLEACH.

written by Peeb. sideblog of @izuru-ru.

multiverse. multiship. 18+ & selective.

[rp-memes-atyourservice]

Misc. sentence starters.

Modify pronouns and wording as necessary! Some may be slightly unsafe for work / sexual in nature.

“Why did you come here when you knew I’d only send you away?” “I thought I made it clear I didn’t want to see you.” “I look at you, and all I can think about is how much better you deserve.” “Why haven’t you left me yet?” “The things I would do for you terrify me.” “Nobody likes a tyrant. Show the people you can be reasoned with.” “Your people will only tolerate so much.” “If you want to ruin your life, be my guest, but leave me out of it.” “Can’t you touch anything without breaking it?” “Please don’t leave me. Please.” “I’m sorry. I’ll do anything.” “My life was grey before I met you. Now it’s so colourful I can barely stand it.” “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” “I’d do anything for you. I’d kill, lie, cheat and steal for you. You wouldn’t even need to ask.” “For the purposes of tonight, you and I will be taking on certain roles. You are not to break character under any circumstances lest you blow our cover, is that understood?” “I am not here to make friends. I am here to offer you something you cannot refuse.” “You don’t have to play coy with me - what do you really want?” “You really fucked me over, you know. You really messed me up.” “You piss me off so much sometimes I can barely stand it.” “Why are you like this? Why do you have to ruin everything?” “You really would do anything for me, wouldn’t you?” “I like the way you beg, boy.” “Do you drop to your knees for everyone that shows you attention, or am I a special case?” “Shh, it’s okay. I know how much you need this. I know how much you want to be wanted.” “I can think of better uses for that mouth of yours than back-talking me.” “Just let go. It’s alright, I’ve got you.” “Don’t talk. Just open your mouth.” “Tell me what you want from me.”

[syncopxte]

shinji “jazz hands” hirako

[izuru-ru]

//I am genuinely going to miss him but honestly I can’t wait to be able to say “when will my husband return from the tour” once he leaves

[rp-memes-atyourservice]

Ask my muse about their mental health.

Including but not limited to: mood disorders, personality disorders, PTSD, and other neurodivergences. Or just ask them how they’re doing!