The Fairy Lights Are On

I'm young, I'm a poet, I'm a terrible writer. Listen if you want, or don't, it's up to you.

[izzyrocks6262]

Brainstorm

12.2.12   23:57

Letting go 

Holding on

What you do to me

Moving on

Returning

Not for me

Accidental poem

You are my accidental poem

Love

Hate 

What is love?

I’m tired of this cycle

Lies

Never listen to your heart.

[izzyrocks6262]

Why do you have hope?

why do you have hope?

You are let down every time.

Hope that he’ll return to me;

Hope that he will turn around,

Walk back,

And return to me.

This baggage that I hold,

This baggage that I bear,

I open my eyes and you are there

Giving me a breath of hope.

Once again my heart beats and speeds for you

While you have nothing for me.

But yet, still, there you are

Sitting next to me, telling me about Laura;

I think she’s good for you.

[izzyrocks6262]

12.2.19

In a monotone voice:

She is like a doll

I see that now, well, I’ve been watching

And for all I know I could be wrong,

But I’m the one he truly loves.

Love that is not fleeting, 

Love as his closest sister

And I love him too,

But not in the way that she does.

I wonder what she thinks 

As I dance with him in the halls

And he picks me up with a joy

He would never give to her.

Should I tell her? That she’s being used?

That he’s fooling himself into her love?

She is a doll.

For sex, and boredom.

She would never listen to me,

I was her friend once before 

But no longer am I now.

She is a doll,

Who will do anything for him,

Leave him,

Then return 3 hours later.

She is a doll.

And that’s what scares me the most.

[izzyrocks6262]

11.29.19

I don’t know what you did

To touch the deepest part of my soul,

But it’s not fair to the people

Who would truly love and care for me

And never leave me.

Because now I want them to reach me 

The way you did

And I somehow fear that no one can.

One day I’ll find him

And he will be better than you will ever be

And he will never leave me

The way you did.

I promise

There’s someone out there 

Who is so much better,

Who will be so much better to me than you.

I’ll create a new galaxy, one without you;

I’ll find a new planet, one without you;

I’ll build a new spaceship, without you.

There is someone out there

Better for me,

There is.

I promise he’ll be...

better.

I just wish it was you.

[izzyrocks6262]

Why do I wait on the one

Who will never return to me?

When I had you it was too good to be true,

I see that now.

My mind knows that you are gone

But my heart still calls out to you,

To the one who will never come.

If we were right for each other

Then maybe one day you will remember

And you will see

That my arms were wide open the whole time.

I’m trying to fly without you

So I must stop asking questions,

But for now, my heart will call out to the one

To the one who will never come.

11/29/19

[izzyrocks6262]

And so what if I want you back?!

Why are you the inspiration for my writing...

God, what should I do?

What do you want me to do?

11/28/19

[izzyrocks6262]

What do you think of me?

Please let me know, I can’t be having feelings

For you again.

Silently pleading for you to return to me,

But I know you’ve moved on

And in a sense, I have too.

Why in all your wonder were you dropped

in front of me amidst a storm;

A series of consequences

That I would’ve been completely fine without!

But there you are again

Waiting for me with a blue Mountain Dew,

At the computer, earphones on,

And always looking for something in the Army.

I can’t fall in love with you (for what is love?),

You have a girlfriend...

Yet some part of me silently waits,

And waits for you to return to me.

11/28/19

[izzyrocks6262]

the space between 1:43 & 4:33

11/28/19

Am I doomed for heartbreak?

Am I just unable to let go?

I went to bed at 1:43 and left my fairy lights on.

Maybe I thought they would protect me,

Smile as I sleep,

But now its 4:33 and I woke up remembering you.

Dead, I rise,

Waiting for the sun,

Wondering what he is doing at this time.

What were you doing

In the space between 1:43 & 4:33?

You used to take me away to dream of faraway places,

But now my heater is on and it’s making me sweat.

If I get up to turn it off 

I’ll remember the times I slept by it

To feel your arms of warmth around me.

Staying up until 12 to dream with you,

Then you tell me that it would be good

For us to sleep but the dream doesn’t end there.

I sat in bed for the remainder of the time

Listening to the whirring of the heater,

Fell asleep,

Then woke up to the kisses of the sun.

But as of now, I wait;

I think it’s best to turn off the heater, fairy lights too.

I am burning, in the space between 1:43 & 4:33.

[izzyrocks6262]

Don’t mess with my head,

But it’s my fault really.

Why do I?

I’m so messed up, I can’t fly anymore.

That feeling of having it all.

And the breath of bliss I intake

Moves me, feels me,

Caresses me.

Breathe, and there’s silence;

Within the silence, hymns echo the walls of

Imagination.

Maybe I can fly,

Maybe I can have it all.

Teach me to fly without you.

11/18/19

[izzyrocks6262]

Sonnet I

5/24/19

Outraging fire though hid my eyes of pain

Destroyed when mournful to find joyful means,

Despite the wounds reflecting my own gain

I grinned with pride, “I’m fine,” insane serene.

How crashing waves could understand my soul

As lightning carved the glass within my shores,

The beat of thunder should the nimbus roll;

Define my craving thirst to drown for more.

Shall blood from tortured hands play on their own;

Forgotten hope if life should be unkind,

So drain the light and paint the monochrome

For only art reflects the painter's mind.

The tempest waste revealed what I had done

When animosity and rage had won.