My Head is a Galaxy

Wife, Mom, Fairy Gaymother

[successionthemesong]

[ancient-rome-au]

“Big Dick Energy” has acquired a definition in today’s society that is nearly exactly the opposite of what it would have meant in ancient Greece and Rome. In Greco-Roman art, an erect phallus indicated a man of unbridled sexual passion, and the larger it was, the more horny and irrational the subject was understood to be. A flaccid, small penis on a heroically nude statue was the mark of a civilized man in control of his passions, master of mind over body. In this essay, I will

[jabraille]

How are you doing?

Bored, apparently. I haven't been in Tumblr in like a zillion years.

[sashayed]

me: i feel strongly that everything is bad. all evidence supports this conclusion.

my cat: hm. i have counterpoint

me: impossible. what is it.

my cat:

me, voice trembling: ᵍᵒᵒᵈ  ᵖᵒᶦⁿᵗ

[my-words-are-light]

Yeah, that’s pretty much it.

[caecilius-est-pater]

4. End up cutting that scene because the story develops to a point where it doesn’t make sense.

[novva]

☁ head in the clouds ☁  // available on inprnt

don’t repost / reblogs ok | [insta] | [twitter] | [ko-fi]

[bisexuanal]

I hate men so much they literally are like this. Purposeful incompetence to avoid responsibilities they don’t want …………… the comments on this post on fb were So bad

[patrickat]

Save the leftovers. Throw the whole man out.

[runcibility]

Imagine being this fucking petty over a reasonable request to do even a fraction of the share of housework, and thinking you’re a good partner. Makes you understand how so many dudes can be clueless and full of shit on so many other topics, too.

[smitethestate]

I hope his wife poured a glass of spaghetti and gulped it slowly while making steady eye contact with him as her lawyer presented the divorce papers.

[soryualeksi]

“Haha, that’ll TEACH my wife!!”

Dude, you’re supposed to LOVE her. I hope she sees this and dumps your worthless ass. While she has that glass of spaghetti.

[january-warlock]

#marie kondo your marriage

[bloodytales]

Don’t put up with stupid. If your husband or boyfriend does this may I suggest… well… treating him like the idiot he pretends to be? Use it as a “teaching moment.”

“Honey come here. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you didn’t know what Tupperware you have to use. Here, let me explain every container we have. That way the next time you have to put food away you know which container to use.”

And then proceed, in excruciating detail, which containers are which, what they are used for, the correct lids, and how to put on the lids. Do it in as condescending voice as possible.

If he tries to say that he knows, or tries to stop you in any way, just calmly say, “no, you shouldn’t be embarrassed by this. It’s okay to admit you don’t know how to do something. Next time just ask, sweetie.” And continue in as much inane detail as possible.

If he tries this bullshit again, pat him on the head, and say “good try, but let’s review” and then do it all over again.

[thenamesiwantedrtaken-deactivat]

Oh my god, it’s so evil I love it

[valtsv]

hozier songs are like *blows kiss to the forest* that's for my baby *throws molotov cocktail at car* AND THAT'S FOR THE REVOLUTION

[bookhobbit]

why is “olde vampires in high school” the big thing and not “olde vampires in college”

everyone in college is eccentric. everyone

you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn’t slept in three days supports you

everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you’re polite and follow class etiquette

multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail!

wandering around campus at 3am? that’s just the lifestyle tm

no matter how old or young you look it’s not really that weird, there’s sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere

big schools are very anonymous so nobody’s gonna bother to hassle you

[overelegantstranger]

the girl in pyjamas is the vampire

[themauvesoul]

Also:

If u put ur blood in a water bottle ppl will assume it’s juice and be Jealous

“Oh god I’m a monster” 20 students who r all procrastinating big projects say “same” simultaniousely and with the exact same tone

Everything is a joke so if u say “I subsist on the lifeblood of mankind” someone will go “lol what a mood”

It would take u like 100 years to major in everything

Seen sucking the blood of a fellow classmate and u r instantly the campus Cryptid and Mascot

Listen. If u have an ethical dilemma go find a philosophy major that believes in ethical subjectivism and they’ll make u so angry u forget abt whatever the fuck was bothering u

College is the only acceptable place to get into fistfights over classical literature

Literally all u need to do to avoid suspicion is be the guy that always has gum and a stapler

If u have a majestic mustache ppl will just assume ur an English major

Allergic to crosses? Cool. So r certain stem majors.

[captainlordauditor]

#there literally was a guy who bit someone’s neck at my university #in my last year#everyone was just like ‘CAMPUS CRYPTID’

also everybody is either always eating or never eating so not eating isn’t that weird

[hellenhighwater]

“never seen in the light of the sun//sleeps all day & is awake at night” “can’t eat garlic” “dresses weird” “can’t enter your home uninvited” “won’t go into churches” “drinks weird red liquid”

this is just a liberal arts major with a garlic allergy and social anxiety.

[satanic-yogurt]

You guys are missing the biggest joke, everyone will actively call them “the vampire” but think nothing of it

[baapi-makwa]

I wanna stack a casper mattress on a purple mattress on a sleep number mattress, that's gotta be optimal comfort

[baapi-makwa]

unless someone were to place a pea between them

[baapi-makwa]

[birthdaypigeon]

could u imagine if ppl talked about catholicism the same way they talked about like… indigenous ppl’s religions….

[birthdaypigeon]

girl in horror movie holding a bible open: “according to legend, a mob tortured a half-man, half-god, and nailed him to a wooden cross, leaving him to starve to death. But days later, on this very night, they found he had clawed his way out of the grave. Now those who believe lie in wait for him to rise again, To honour him, they have weekly gatherings where they chant and sing, and at the end of it they eat his flesh and blood.”

girl’s friend: “wow.. thats so creepy…”

horror movie jock: “it’s only a myth, don’t worry”

[magnesiumflare]

I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walk down a crowded aisle, people pull in their legs to let you by. Or how strangers still say “bless you” when someone sneezes, a leftover from the Bubonic plague. “Don’t die,” we are saying. And sometimes, when you spill lemons from your grocery bag, someone else will help you pick them up. Mostly, we don’t want to harm each other. We want to be handed our cup of coffee hot, and to say thank you to to the person holding it. To smile at them and for them to smile back. For the waitress to call us honey when she sets down the bowl of clam chowder, and for the driver in the red pick-up to let us pass. We have so little of each other, now. So far from tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange. What if they are the true dwelling of the holy, these fleeting temples we make together when we say, “Here, have my seat,” “Go ahead - you first,” “I like your hat.”

- Danusha Laméris, “Small Kindnesses" 

[prokopetz]

What precisely constitutes a “lifetime supply” of bees?

Asking for a friend.

[salamencerobot]

enough bees that they reproduce and have a genetically diverse population to keep a stable beecosystem for an average human lifespan

[prokopetz]

I’m reblogging this one solely for the word “beecosystem”.

[chasinghappiness7]

Who else would love a museum date?

I mean, I'd love to go on a museum date. Let me drag you through these rooms full of paintings and sculptures and ancient things. Let me share my passion with you. Let's stop for a moment in front of that particular piece of art so I can tell you what I know about it and be my nerdy self and then trail off because you got caught up in your observation and thoughts and looking at you in this moment leaves me breathless. Let me take your hand in mine while we wander and you talk about what you like and what matters to you. Let me listen to you attentively then guide you to that room with that thing I know will resonate with you. Let's smile and laugh as I tell you about some funny story from college, then let me glance at you and realize that nothing in that museum compares to you and how your eyes are shining right now.

[lizclimo]

look for the helpers 

[dactyliin-blog]

Shit tier star trek: Spock and T’Pring hate each other and T’Pring made Spock’s life hell when they were children and T’Pring’s an Evil Vulcan Woman

Okay tier star trek: Spock and T’Pring recognize that they have their differences and don’t see eye to eye. They don’t get along and don’t talk at all once their bond is broken but they understand that they have differing approaches to logic

God tier star trek: Spock and T’Pring’s engagement is classic wlw/mlm solidarity, T’Pring chose Kirk to fight Spock in Amok Time because she knew how Spock felt & Spock’s her best man (Vulcan?) at her and Uhura’s bonding ceremony

[christinecanigula-archive]

Hey not to sound stupid, but what's the best way to be a Jewish ally? Like, yeah I'm anti-Nazi, but I don't think that's the same thing as being pro-Jewish

im glad u asked! some quick tips:

-its ‘jewish people’ not ‘jews’ (if a jewish person calls themself a jew its their business but goyim Shouldnt)

-we aren’t all zionists! most of us are anti-israel so please don’t ask someone their stance on it when you find out someone is jewish

-goy and gentile mean the same thing and neither are slurs

-on that note, goy is singular, goyim is plural, and goyische is an adjective

-jews of color exist and are erased and underrepresented both by gentiles and other jewish people

-we dont all speak hebrew!!! i can only do a couple of prayers phonetically and some jewish people can’t even do that

-judaism is a culture as well as a religion-hanukkah isnt jewish christmas (its better)

anyone can add on to this, and if you need any other tips feel free to ask!