FYI every purchase of any of The Adventure Zone music on Griffin McElroy's Bandcamp will be entirely donated to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund for the rest of the year. His music is set at 'name your price', and the McElroys are also going to match the donations.
If you've listened to even a bit of any TAZ campaign, you surely know what a fantastic musician Griffin is, and there is no better time to purchase his music than now.
The first image is a PNG of Taako from The Adventure Zone graphic novel in front of a "forklift certified" flag in safety yellow, orange, and grey. The second image is a collage of tags and notes in various statements of "No the fuck he's not," "he would not fucking be forklift certified," and "no one said he got it legally." The third image is a digital drawing of Taako wearing safety gear and (poorly) operating a bright yellow forklift with "Faerun Freight" printed on the side. The forklift is carrying an upside-down package marked "Fragile! This side up." Taako is looking back and shouting, "Check out how fast this baby goes in reverse!" End ID.
I've never seen a "your fave" meme be so wrong in my whole life
🔒I broke into your car to impress you when you locked your keys in and now I have to construct an elaborate lie to explain myself
“Huh,” Barry says, after Lup breaks into his fucking car. “Thank you, so much, honestly, I mean, I was going to be fucked, the locksmith quoted me like $300-”
“Yeah, no prob,” Lup says, so forcedly casual that she thinks she hears something important pop in her jaw.
“But uh,” Barry looks at his car, a very, very sad blue Honda Civic belovedly named Crunch, and then at Lup, who is struggling with the knowledge that she is blushing hard enough to burn herself at the stake here. “That’s a pretty impressive skill you’ve got there?”
The how the fuck do you know that, and for why, specifically, is implied.
“Thanks,” Lup says, opening her gumball machine mouth and letting a tasty, shiny lie ricochet through the spirals and tubes of her fucking idiot central and right out into the air, where she will now be responsible for it. “I learned it in the circus.”
“The circus?” Barry is wearing his stupid sexy strap on sunglasses, which are tentatively attached to his regular glasses, and thus make his eyes a little harder to see. He is, however, obviously having some kind of reaction to this information. Lup grimaces.
“Yeeep. The circus. You know, the uh, the giraffes loved to steal keys.”
“Giraffes?” Barry is incredulous. “That’s amazing. What for?”
“Oh, they’re mischievous fuckers,” Lup is just fully in it now. “Never trust a giraffe, I’m telling you. Elephants either, they’ll throw your keys right down a storm drain just to get your attention.”
“Golly,” Barry says. With his human fucking mouth. Lup wants to kill him and keep his soul in a jar. She promises she’ll poke holes in the lid. “I have to imagine you’d hide your keys after that happened once or twice, though?”
“The problem is, you see,” Lup is ascending, to live with the angels. Shame they’ll evict her as soon as possible, for all the lust and gluttony and wrath and so on. She can have another thing lined up. It’s fine. “Circus outfits never have pockets.”
“Really? Never?”
“Total design flaw,” Lup says, nodding, and also sweating so hard she’s afraid it might be audible. “Pockets would pull them down. And when you’re just wearing a leotard, you don’t want it gettin’ pulled down, obviously.”
“Obviously,” Barry agrees, looking dreadfully impressed at all this. “But then what about the keys, did you just hold them?” Him and his goddamn followup questions. Lup could grind him into a paste and study him under a microscope.
“Yeah, or put them on a chain around our necks. But mostly we had a key boy.”
“A keyboy?” Barry’s eyes go way up. “One keyboy, to hold all the keys in the circus?”
“It was an illustrious job,” Lup says, with her lying, lying ass. “Everyone wanted to fuck the key boy.”
“Wow,” Barry says. “Because of his access?”
“Because of the jingles, Barr, keep up!” Lup folds her arms. “Also, he was a pretty good juggler. Not as good as me, though.”
“You can juggle?” Barry grins at her. “I’d love to see that.”
“I’ve been banned from juggling forever,” Lup says solemnly. “Because of the incident.”
“The incident?” Jesus, can he just do this all day? Doesn’t he get tired?
“Yeah,” Lup says, and winks, and smacks him congenially on the back. “It’s a curse. Shame, cause I love juggling.” And before Barry can ask her another fucking question, she heads back in to work.
God. It’s been years since she juggled. She cannot fucking believe she’s backed herself into a corner again about this shit. She should have just admitted to being obsessed with lockpicking youtube.
While I'm not personally interested in it myself, I think the funniest thing about the new Zelda game is how I've seen zero spoilers for it because 25% of the fans are distracted by the new hot furry while the other 75% are too distracted breaking the Geneva convention.
“This time it sticks, to the inside of his lungs, to the few creases by his eyes, and it feels like he’s devoured some unnamed emotion whole—like he’s swallowed the sun if the sun were made of orange juice and sea glass and long sleeves in its own kind of incandescent fusion.”
for @moonfullofstars‘ incredible and beautiful tazswap fic, about jazz and perfect beginnings
three years and some weeks later, i'm resetting my first island!!! and i've finally settled on (and finished!) a theme!!! idk what exactly the theme would be called but there's a lot of trees... :3 here's the dream address!! (more pictures and what codes i used under the keep reading🥰)
✨️visit sunnyville (and tag me if you do and take photos💞) DA-2290-8082-5267✨️
every single beach and house is decorated <3 i've included photos of my favorite spots🥰
codes i used!
carrot repeating pattern and isabelle sale sign - 5465-5630-2028
concrete tiles - 0501-3293-4058
old brick path - 0173-9195-8808
dirt path and stained bag - 8813-1351-3663
hay mat - 7280-9846-7257
grass trail - 4243-1178-0612
deck - 1436-2117-0619
flag - 6596-1839-3184
stone brick wall - 1088-2951-9808
grass edges - 7492-0009-5616
red block check blanket - 1474-4447-2355
hiking trail sign - 8206-1065-3197
scattered trash - 2949-3814-7135
swimming sign - 7977-8604-8239
ground crack - 4933-9023-8605
paw prints and puddle - 1383-5984-7144
various krystalkat codes - 5871-0141-6132, 4286-1874-0769, 7573-5729-2927
grass path, crosswalk, mossy stone steps - 0989-6964-3773
dededos
kianamaiart
turnnoffyourmind
prguitarman
annaxmalina
