Children. If you don't listen to nothing else I say, listen to this: Hit them. Hit them right in the mouth. You might still cry, but you'll feel good that you didn't *just* cry. It's always okay to hit a racist. Every time.
I was supposed to make an info sheet about my autistic character to post today, but I did too much adulting this week and too much relaxing last week.
@jacksope-lives Should I make Shani a new info sheet? I have been revisiting, but haven't written anything new for her. I miss her though. Need advice from somebody that knows her almost as much as me.
Riggs had been learning sign language to the best of his ability, as someone whose first language wasn't the language of the person teaching him, and the person who was teaching him was not also as fluent in his tongue as he even was in English, there often were words that took several steps to get to.
For instance "The Moon's Domain" was what he called "the sky," but in his native tongue. When he said it, Shani didn't know the sound for "domain," and trying to get there, she also didn't know "kingdom, origins, or dwelling space," which led to him using "den," eventually and it wasn't quite the same - "The Moon's Den" as "The Moon's Domain..."
So he got with Free, Bane, and Atlas, trying to see if any of them knew the Human English word and eventually Bane was able to tell him that the word he was looking for was "domain," and while it sounded much more pristine to him in Wolfen, he was simply glad to at least had found the correct word.
"Why is he asking about that?" Bane wondered.
"Sign language lessons," Atlas said, sharpening his claws with a file.
"Why would he ever need to know sign language?" Bane wondered. It was his turn to gather meat to thaw for supper, and Atlas was on guard duty of the supply.
Free was marking the inventory of what Bane was taking out and casually said, "He will hold it for the wolves." But the face that Atlas made told Bane that he thought it was something else.
"You disagree, At Last?" That was, for whatever reason, something that Bane called him, and it was more annoying to let him know it was annoying.
"I do." He shrugged, "Sure, that's definitely a plus for him, but I think he wants to learn because he's sweet on Luna." Bane nodded. THAT made more sense to him. But, Free was confused.
"Sweet on?"
"He wants to mate with her," Bane explained.
"Not necessarily, but at the very least, wants to connect with her specifically," Atlas said and blew dust from his filed hand.
Free scoffed and made a disgusted face. "Never will he."
Bane shrugged his shoulders, "Years ago, you would have sworn that never would he kill wolves, but sometimes, you just can't help things. Sometimes, we become things that we didn't know that we would."
"That was by force. This is by choice, that he mate. This is not by force. Never will he choose this."
Atlas bit his lip and was about to say something else, but now Shani was here to ask something.
"What is the Wolfen for "outer space?"
Bane shook his head and said, "Wolves don't tend to care about that so much as the sky itself, which is The Moon's Domain, what you already have. So... I guess... beyond the moon's domain? Maybe?"
He looked to Free who thought for a moment and then wondered. "What is context?" Why would Riggs need to know this thing?
"Context is me trying to explain what a telescope does. By the way... telescope, I simply had to call "moon watching stick," because there are no telescopes in the wild, but a telescope does a lot more than moon watching, and Luna will definitely bring that up."
"For what?" Free asked.
Atlas told them, "Like I said, Riggs is learning this to speak with her, because he likes her."
Free gave Shani a worried look that seemed to beg her to dispel this accusation of Atlas.' Shani shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't know that I would say he likes her. He's a little to antihuman for that to be my guess, but he does wish to ask her things about the moon, especially when I told him that she is a moon expert... WHICH, once again, inaccurate. She is a space expert and he knows space as in "a location - like taking up space" but not as in outer space. So, I have to try to explain that she knows everything that humans know about the moon, the moon's domain and beyond the moon's domain, and I WILL in fact teach him that the person who does that is an astronaut, so that we won't have to do this again. So... beyond the moon's domain?" She looked to Free.
Free nodded, thoughtfully considering a world where Riggs would actively try to impress a human because of mating potential. They had never seen him seem remotely interested in such a thing. But... he was learning a new language that only one person here actively used and a second person only used to communicate with that one person! "Perhaps all wolves should learn this," Free said.
"No thank you," Bane said.
"A few signals may be useful for tactical events," Atlas said. "You could learn some important ones, for missions." Free frowned and made the necessary marks on their clipboard.
.
Riggs went to the spot early. He had been taking lessons all week. He had even started a notebook. Shani gave it to him, drawing symbols, similar to hieroglyphics, with words beneath them in human English and little arrows to show movements of the signing, in addition to an actual book that she had for many years, but didn't need as much as she had when she was little.
He studied it in all of his free time, which was virtually all of the time, because he didn't have a job, there was no need to hunt, and he hadn't been entrusted with any missions. He used the sign language book to find "words," having to ask Bane, usually, as the wolf with the best understanding of English, as it had once upon a time been his first language. He wasn't as skilled at reading as Shani, but he could sound most things out.
Now, Riggs figured he needed to try to maybe learn to read better. The Kennel had helped with that. He could figure out a lot of things, but didn't know the alphabet or many actual words. He was sort of learning them as he learned ASL. He would find out a sign for a word, and draw in his notebook to give himself a picture that his mind could "read" as Wolfen, since they didn't have written word, but did sometimes have drawings that translated to words. He made up drawings for ones that didn't, but they read as code to anyone but him, since they were more personal notes than actual symbols.
Whenever she arrived, moon watching stick in hand, and a tentative smile on her face that he seemed to be... waiting for her, he began his signaling.
"I have learned some of your words. I wish to know what you look for with moon watching stick." It took her a moment to respond.
He was unsure if he had done his signals properly and opened his spiral to look at his conversation phrases. She held up her hands to show she was not dangerous and he allowed her to look at what he was looking at. His notes, drawings, Shani's signs, etc. Shani had written the phrases he had just signed beneath them, and he saw as she realized that he was genuinely trying to communicate with her.
At first, she wondered if this was some type of interrogation that he was making, suspicious of her, but now she saw that this was simply a chance for a talk. She had not spoken about this with anyone here! She started signing to him, and "speaking"
Her words were really breathy, but he was able to hear her fine enough when he wasn't trying to focus too much on her signing.
"First, off, I feel like I should tell you that facial expressions go a long way when signing..." He looked confused, but didn't interrupt. "You have a very (she made a stern, serious face) unexpressive face and even though you're making the signs well enough to get what you're saying out, I was worried that I was in trouble with the wolves for watching the sky!"
He frowned. "This is my face," he said, not bothering to sign. Then attempted a sign "Hearing ones call that..." he checked his notes. He didn't have the sign for it, but Shani had mentioned it when he commented on her bizarre way of speaking Wolfen. This was probably similar to that, with his face being unable to cater to human facial expressions. He shrugged his shoulders and said the word "Accent."
She squinted, then held up a little light. He repeated "Accent"
"Accent?" she repeated. He nodded. She furrowed her eyebrows. "I only know the definition. I don't know what it.. is like."
"It is like when my face does not match the signs," he signed. (Well, he signed enough of it that she could fill in blanks) She smiled and he felt his face grow warm, which made him feel ashamed.
"Shani and you are the only people to treat my language as language," she signed.
"I am Wolfen," he corrected.
"Wolves are people, too. You just are not human people. You are wolfen people." She signed. He studied it and signed for her to repeat the end.
"Wolfen people.." He then repeated it and she smiled again, nodding.
The look on his face told her that he strongly disagreed, but she waved a hand at it and started answering his first question, which absolutely took his mind off of the subject of whether or not wolves were wolfen "people," and onto why she looked at the sky.
"As an astronaut, I have studied in the best schools, in the best programs. Aeronautical engineering, physics, calculus, and advanced computer science.. so many types and levels of STEM.." He furrowed his eyebrows and she explained STEM is Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics. This is why I am able to help Shani with devices and weaponry... BUT, I learned everything that I learned because when I was a toddler, I watched a cartoon with a child astronaut and I became obsessed with space..."
He paused her. "Space. Beyond the Moon's Domain."
She looked excited at that description, "The Moon's Domain. That is charming..." She furrowed her eyebrows, "I wish I had said a different word instead of my parents' last name. My first name, though, is another word for "Moon." Luna means moon in latin, and is for a Roman goddess of the moon..."
He shook his head. "I'm sorry, it is too fast.."
She was so excited, that she knew she wouldn't be able to properly slow down, so she pushed her voice, hoping she became louder for him "Can you hear me?" she asked. He nodded, now, smiling, himself. She began to speak about Luna and the moon, mostly myths, but she would revert to her astronomy knowledge, as well as a few astrological superstitions and mostly, how the higher up humans didn't believe that she was good enough to explore, because of her disability.
She was now too sad to project her voice, but he listened to the breathy whispers as acutely as he would study prey during a hunt. She was signing again, as that was her normal, but she definitely was signing words he didn't know, so he was actively listening to the breaths, "I thought that because I had money and education that it would be overlooked. But, they started passing new laws th further along I got, like they were specifically trying to forbid me from following my dreams. I am in history records now. I am THE FIRST deaf, 14 year old to become an astronaut! And they looked at all that I accomplished and everything I overcame, and they moved the bar so that I can never go to.. The Moon's Domain."
She sniffled and added, voiced, "or the moon." She wiped her face and he felt a fierce need to protect her from whatever was hurting her. But. This wasn't something he could attack.
Instead, he waved to get her attention on him and he signed, "It is good that you are here. I care more about the pack, with you in it."
Her wet eyes widened and she smiled a little bit.
"They told me that you are dangerous and mean. You have only been peaceful and now kind to me." She signed. He didn't know the signs for dangerous or mean, and needed her to repeat them, and to explain the word "mean."
Then he laughed, for the first time and nodded his head. "I am dangerous and mean," he signed. "But, I have a pack, and I know when someone..." He was looking for "belong," but didn't think he had the sign, so he just said, "when someone is here, domain..."
"Home?" she asked. He shrugged.
"I am not home, but you are home. You... should be here. This would not be without you."
She nodded and paraphrased, "I belong here." He nodded, excited that she had found the word that was escaping him. "And so do you." He frowned now. "Before we brought you here, Free was not the same. Free is at ease to know you are safe. They may hate me, but they have a trustworthy compass."
"Free hates you? But you're such a good human."
"Free doesn't believe in good humans."
"They believe in Savior."
Luna thought for a moment then shrugged her shoulders, "Then I guess the hate is specifically for me." She smiled, thanked him for the chance to talk about the moon, then said she had to get to her tent.
"I will take you," he said. On the walk, she looked through his spiral, to get a feel of how he was progressing and what types of things he wanted to know about. A lot of them she had answered. She saw a note from Shani that read "Luna is the best human I have ever met. If anyone ever hurts her, I will hurt them."
She pointed at it and mouthed "She's DRAMATIC, right?"
He looked at it and furrowed his eyebrows. He shook his head. "I think she is right about this." Luna paused and shut the spiral. She didn't know what to say as she handed it to him. He rolled it up and put it in the pocket of his cargo shorts. She avoided eye contact, then remembered that wolves didn't too much make eye contact. She was thinking of dogs. Then she felt bad that she had just mistook such a nice wolf person for a dog. Then, she looked at his shirt and she giggled, distracted. She pointed to it, "Your shirt..." she said.
He looked down at it. It was some type of old business t shirt with artwork so faded that she hadn't even realized it was there when they were in the dark, but now in the big tent they were passing through, she saw a man, holding a comically large hotdog and the text "Gobble this dog!" He furrowed his eyebrows and didn't find the humor.
"It is a double entendre." He was especially confused now. "It is a play on words. You could visit this company to order hot dog, the food, to eat, but the way the man on the shirt phrases it has a sexual undertone.." He didn't understand much of her signing, but he did know the word "sexual" when he heard it, so at that, he removed the shirt and threw it aside. She widened her eyes and watched someone get hit with it and stir up like they were angry until they realized that Riggs had thrown it. "O... K..." Luna said.
Riggs shook his head and said, "I don't like for humans to speak of sexual. They are perverse and consumed by it!" She folded her hands together and lowered her head, unsure if she should say anything else. After a few moments, he looked at her, puzzled and signed, "Did I do something offensive?" This was the clearest question he had signed so far and Luna could only assume that Shani had driven this question specifically home for him to learn.
"I thought maybe I did?" she signed back. "With the t-shirt." She didn't want to mention the "S" word again.
"No. You helped me to not wear a gross thing around Human English speakers." His face, though stern as ever, did not seem angry or annoyed, and her tent was a few feet away. He didn't even understand the reference, to be honest.
"This is me," she said and gestured to it. "I am going to rest. Will I see you tomorrow night?"
"I will meet you, where we often meet. To love the moon," he said. She smiled and went inside.
Moments later, Bane appeared near him, holding the shirt he'd thrown away, "So. Riggs... What's uh.. what's up with you and Starstruck?" He tried to hand him the shirt, but Riggs was definitely refusing to accept the thing
"What?"
Bane draped the shirt around his neck and pointed his thumb towards Luna's tent, "The uh... The human that's always looking at the sky?"
From the way Riggs' face became animated, Bane was certain that he definitely was "sweet on her" as At Last had put it. "Oh! We were talking about stars! She's like a star encyclopedia. I gotta be honest. I didn't know most of the stuff she was signing, but she was VERY excited that somebody asked and that I learned... Some sign language."
Bane just smirked and mumbled, "Uh huh."
Something told him he might regret it, but again he wondered, "What?"
"You becoming a Meatfucker?" Bane asked.
"You are the grossest!" Riggs roared and shoved him away so hard he fell onto a table where someone was working inside of the big tent. Bane apologized to them and got up laughing and following Riggs back to the tent that they shared with Free.
"Meatfucker" was an ugly term that wasteland wolves had coined to refer to a wolf who engages sexually with a human. Bane had explained, "No, no! It doesn't HAVE to be a human, just something we might eat later. In fact, a lotta Meatfuckers fuck the little wolves. Like... the animal ones!"
Riggs had said, moments after hearing the word, "Never speak of this to me again." And now, not only was Bane audacious enough to do so, but to ACCUSE him of it!
When they came inside, Free was already laying in their spot, naked and grooming themself.
"Guess where Riggs was," Bane sang.
"Stargazing," Free answered, very much used to Riggs' routine by now.
"WITH..." Bane started.
"The human, Luna. It is best spot for the stargazing. There is room for both."
"And they talked," Bane teased. He said "Talk" in a way like they did something else and Free froze. "About the sky and the stars and moon," Bane continued. "Then, he escorted her back to her tent."
Now, Free sat up suddenly. It startled Riggs as he was getting out of the shorts. "You walk her home?" They asked.
"Yes."
"Humans... see this as a... uh... courting practice." Free said.
"No... Packmaster walks Savior to her tent every night."
"They're fucking," Bane said. Riggs winced.
"They are not! BUT... He wants it. Riggs. Do you want this human, Luna?"
His eyes went wide as he retrieved the spiral from his shorts. "This is not something I expected from you, out of everyone. But, I don't know this version of you very well... No. We love the moon together. She could have visited there, but the other humans don't value her because she hears nothing. She is very sad until she sees the moon.. She is... like me, but human. I want... to know people like me, Free."
"I am like you!" Free snarled.
"No. You are still very much a proper wolf. I am broken. I need to know someone broken."
Free's lip quivered and Bane, seemed to realize his part in this, rushed to check on them and apologize for "foolin' around" about it. They shoved him away, "Do not get your filth in my bed."
Riggs set his spiral down, realizing that he had hurt Free by saying this, but that there simply was nothing that could be done about it, because he meant it. They weren't alike anymore. "I love you. You will always be family," he said, in Wolfen. They didn't respond. They went back to grooming, tears in their eyes.
i imagine intimacy coordinator is part of a pretty small department, maybe nobody was familiar with your schedule and didn't realize you were supposed to be off. does this mean you get another day off? or overtime pay at least?
i'm sorry did you. think i'm *actually* an intimacy coordinator for the show moral orel
Racism in fandom spaces is actually insanely bad and if you ever try to downplay or avoid conversations about it because "fandom is supposed to be fun" then I'm not sorry to say this: You're adding on to the problem.
If POC speaking up about a fandom's racism issue offends you more than the racism itself, you need to think about that. You need to think about how POC fighting racism offends you more than the racism.
thank you to the black ppl who don’t assimilate thank you to the black ppl who don’t work to be digestible thank you black ppl for being you and existing beyond the definitions that others gave us
turnnoffyourmind
snowghoul
jbbartram-illu
germansingergirl
