If your landlord ever tries to force you to use Alexa, and you have little to no technical or programming expertise, it’s time to make your very own Faraday cage.
“What is a Faraday cage?” you might ask. “How will it help me defeat Big Sister Alexa?”
Easy answer: a Faraday cage blocks EM waves. WiFi, the thing Alexa needs to do anything of use at all? That’s a type of EM wave.
I know, I know, “Faraday cage” sounds like it’ll take 47727372 hours with a welder, right? Wrong!
A simple Faraday cage that anyone can make is as easy as a cardboard box with as many layers of heavy-duty aluminum foil as you can stand to coat the box with. I usually do about 5 layers because that number is easy to remember, but if you’re paranoid or simply need more layers you are more than welcome to add as many layers as necessary to keep Alexa at bay. I think the average is about 4-6 layers.
Hilariously, I actually learned this technique from those crazy prepper types. Which, ironically, is why I know it works. (Not to mention I tested it myself by wrapping my phone in foil and seeing if my roommate could call or message me.)
If your landlord notices, they will not receive any warning or notification that you tampered with Alexa- because you didn’t. All they will notice is that they can’t communicate with that particular Alexa device (because it will be “offline”, aka not sending or receiving signals).
A box is also easily hideable in case of surprise visits from the landlord or anyone else who might report you to your landlord, accidentally or on purpose. Just pop the bitch out, restart it (or don’t, this just clears any other hitches from the system) and it should behave normally.
Additionally, most landlords have the general tech expertise of an orangutan with a headset, so technical hitches are relatively easy to handwave with a good ol’ “Fire is scary and Edison and Tesla were witches”. Basically, if they question you about why Alexa suddenly is or isn’t working, shrug and say that it must have suddenly either just gone out or come back (depending on the situation), but that you didn’t do anything to it because you don’t know anything about that sort of tech and that you didn’t want to mess with it out of fear you would break it.
Note: Remember, Big Sister is always listening! If you wish to put the bitch in a Faraday cage, remember not to discuss it where Big Sister can hear you!
