🎊

🥕

[hhoran]

[memequeenmachine420]

People say that self inserts are cringy but remember that famous poet Dante Alighieri, who wrote one of the most important works in Italian literature, straight up made a giant three part fan fiction where he and his idol/mancrush, the famous poet Virgil, journey through Hell on behalf of his dead girlfriend and everyone who he didn’t like was there and suffered punishment for all eternity and then he blames three whole popes and the entire fucking city of Florence, Italy for the shitty state of the Church and over seven hundred years later it’s played a major influence in Western culture people are still praising it and analyzing it so honestly who gives a fuck lmfao

[memequeenmachine420]

Some joyless asshole: you self ship? Cringe!

Dante, a man in his 50s living in the Middle fucking Ages: and then Virgil-senpai lifted me with his strong manly arms and carried me down the mountain from those scawy demons uwu. He was so handsome and talented and wonderful

[imeverywoman420]

Men trying to sound not horny by hating women is so funny. whenever i hear the word thot or e girl it sounds like an 12th century man saying temptress

[lets-talk-about-sects]

If she breathes she a TEMPTRESS

[josouprince]

[iguanamouth]

i had a dream where i met yoshis dad but his name was yobby and he looked like this

[tybalt-tisk]

About an hour ago, I was in Walmart looking for my conditioner because today is wash day for my hair. As I’m looking for my product, this older white lady approaches me and she says, “Excuse me, miss. Please don’t be offended by this.” And usually when white people tell me not to be offended, 9 times out of 10, whatever they are about to say is going to be offensive af.

Anyway, she follows it up with, “My husband and I just recently won our custody battle with our foster daughter and she means the world to us. She’s a beautiful African American girl and her hair looks a lot like yours. But I’m afraid because I don’t know what to do with her hair. It’s a lot different from mines and our other children and we are at a total loss. I’ve tried looking up the YouTube videos and my husband went to the braiding shops so they can teach him how to properly braid her hair, but he’s still pretty new and it will be a while before he gets used to it. Do you have any tips you can give me? If you don’t have the time, it’s okay, really! I just needed a little advice because I want her to look beautiful.”

Y’all. swear I almost started crying on aisle 6. So for the last 30 minutes, I spent my time talking to her and what products to use and how to properly detangle and comb her hair with the proper tools and what not to do with natural hair. And I showed her a bunch of easier to follow natural hair tutorials on YouTube and saved them for her. (I also had to create a YouTube account for her so she could save it for later.) but omfg, she was so sweet, and I could tell that she listened to every single thing I had to say and she took little notes on her little notepad.

And what really filled my heart was the fact that her husband actually taking classes from African braiding shops. And she showed me a picture of him wearing a little sweater vest and loafers in a little shop surrounded by beautiful black women showing him how to braid black hair and even the lady he’s braiding on is guiding his hands. And omfg. Bless these old white people and their black daughter who I know have new loving parents because they are willing to step out of their comfort zone just to make her feel and look beautiful.

I really hope our paths cross again one day, Mrs Cicilia. 💖💕

[toastbutteregg]

this made me cry. faith in humanity = restored

[teaboot]

The number of times I have been delighted by witty banter only to find out later that I was “Flirting” is both unfortunate and disappointing.

[teaboot]

Need a friend with conversational benefits

[peregrinelight]

y’all: my love language is ‘words of affirmation’!

me, an intellectual: praise kink

[peregrinelight]

i see y'all liking this but not reblogging y'all are COWARDS

[myrosecolouredgirl]

today i found out that anne hathaway replaced jennifer lawrence in ocean’s 8 and i would like to thank not only god but also jesus

[misgenderisms-deactivated202010]

youre nb but you call yourself a bitch (bitch is a FEMALE dog btw) why???

i am on the FLOOR

[gendergenius]

bitch and bastard are GENDERED terms and thus you must use the neutral: bitchard

[zinnia-apologist-deactivated202]

[marxistbarbie-deactivated202109]

being a brown girl and growing up w white friends was so painful, when i have a daughter im going to do everything i can to make sure she grows up with other brown girls 

[marxistbarbie-deactivated202109]

there’s so much shame and humiliation in being a brown teenager surrounded by white girls. when i went through puberty it wasnt same as my friends

[marxistbarbie-deactivated202109]

like they just…..grew, they got breasts and hips and kept it moving. i got facial hair before any of the boys we knew. my body hair was (and is still) dark, thick, prominent and all over. 

my closest friend saw my pubic hair in the girls changing room and told the entire school about it. someone asked me if i was secretly a man. i went home that day, my 12th birthday, and held back tears as my family cut my cake. i leaned too far over my work in art class causing my shirt to hitch up and my back to be exposed, i didn’t notice until the laughter of the group of boys behind me was loud enough. 

there’s so much shame in being brown and having body hair. there’s so much self-hatred towards the natural state of our bodies. so when i see white women (whose bodies mine has always been dichotomised against) partaking in body hair activism that doesn’t acknowledge this, when i see those tiny tufts of wispy thin blonde armpit hair dyed bright pastel colours, i feel no empowerment and no liberation - just the pain i’ve always felt within my own natural body. 

[marxistbarbie-deactivated202109]

i screenshotted this cos the actual comment they made is like 800+ words but imagine seeing a post by a brown girl for other girls of colour who struggle w body hair and thinking ah yes this is the perfect place for me to interject my congealed mayonnaise opinion that op is totally wrong about her own lived experience 

i’m not black. not every black girl has “dark” skin. people with deeper skintones - black or not - have darker hair to match you racist dumb ass. be QUIET for two seconds. white people are banned from doing anything but reblog or like this post from this moment on, commenting rights have been revoked and you have not-your-everday-geek to blame 

[madamslayyy]

Literally almost every comment is white people going “yeah I’m blonde buuuuuut…” or “I’m white and I blah blah blah “ like damn nobody cares wtf y’all look like, for once stop talking over WOC!!! Not every narrative is yours to interject// claim!!!

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

My kink is cooking in front of my friends who know which knife is made for what and forcing them to watch me use the wrong one for the wrong thing

[gallusrostromegalus]

Use a cheese grater for tomatoes.

[simonalkenmayer]

You’ll burn in hell for this.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

*panting outrageously: I GOT HERE AS FAST AS I COULD

[wingleader]

Oh my god, my friend who used to rent a room from me would routinely use a small ass paring knife to chop entire very large onions instead of a chef’s or santoku despite the fact that my kitchen is well stocked with many varieties of knives. In fact, he’d use the same tiny paring knife to cut everything when he would cook; be it veggies, or meat, or whatever. He didn’t want to dirty too many knives…? It drove me fucking nuts because he almost cut himself quite a few times trying to chop things that were too large for such a small blade. Nothing I said would change his mind. Graaahhhhh….

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

see the thing is i do the opposite. Do I own a gorgeous little set with a Santoku, utility, and paring knife? yep.

caN I PEEL POTATOES AND POTENTIALLY OPERATE WITH A CHINESE CLEAVER???

you’re gonna see me try

[sol-ex-machina-deactivated20190]

i just bring a fucking machete to the kitchen. none of this fancy cutlery stuff. i shall engage my food in ruthless combat

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

i need you to roll for initiative 

[anachronistic-cat]

ah fuck i rolled a 1

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

the celery gets to go first and just fuckin decks you

[karrakazz]

you want my hot take for the evening? people who dont like complainers just havent been exposed to good complaining, and will never know if they themselves have an inborn talent for the art of kvetching

[karrakazz]

good complaining is some combination of a) funny, b) animated and theatrical, c) insightful re: human foibles, d) inquiry into social trends and norms.it must ALWAYS involve at least a small degree of self awareness, and is often used to build camaraderie and maintain relationships.

source: im jewish

[telesilla]

Good complaining never punches down.

[teaboot]

I’m a bag of anxiety but also dense as fuck which is a great combo in social situations because when I screw up it plays off as sheer confidence

[teaboot]

“Eating a sandwich,” I answer happily, to what seems to be a positive reception. I finish my lunch and leave the cafeteria. Halfway to class I realize that junior kid meant “what’s your major at this institute,” not “what brings you to the cafeteria” when he asked what I was doing here. He laughed at my dry humor, thinking my jape funny. Little does he know, I am but a witless fool. I will now stress binge an entire loaf of pretzel bread and sleep for twelve hours

[bisexuanal]

Me to my 3 year old: now sweetheart I know Chase the police pup from the paw patrol seems nice but he is what we call a class traitor.

[fatimamononoke]

"your energy introduces you before you even speak"

[filmnoirsbian]

Is there rly any softer scene than when o'malley sees duchess and falls in love with her at first sight in the aristocats, complimenting her at every turn and climbing into a cherry blossom tree to make the flower petals snow gracefully down on her? How dreamy 🥀💕

[filmnoirsbian]

This Is Love 😍😍

[phantoms-lair]

Not to mention when he found she had kids, he was thrown for a second, then proceeded to not only still help her, but dote on them too.

[pitviperofdoom]

“Not all men” you’re right, Abraham DeLacey Giuseppe Casey Thomas O’Malley would never.

[femmefaramir]

older lotr illustrations sometimes depict éowyn wearing ridiculously small armour. apart from the problem general sexualisation of the only female character (who really does anything), there’s another hilarious thought:

éowyn pretended to be dernhelm, a man. to fit in, she must have worn men’s armor. so the armor in the illustrations is normal for rohirrim.

therefore, all the rohirrim rode to war just like that:

[hobbit-hole]

there’s a thundering sound in the distance as the rohirrim ride into war but rather than hoofbeats it’s the collective sound of all their cheeks clapping

[delicatelytoobear]

the artist for this particular piece is Frank Frazetta and to be fair to him this is how he drew the orcs armor 

so the rohirrim comment is probably not that far off

[sergle]

THIS TAG KNOCKED ME OUT