Welcome To Jamestown

Population one cool cat James - he/him

[ryebreadgf]

favorite series of tweets

[zendeyas]

Zendaya wearing MATIERES – New York premiere of The Odyssey

[yamada-ryo]

[retroactivebakeries]

#sfw dullahan activity

[yamada-ryo]

[armadillorollup]

know the difference!

[blvck-coffee-dad]

I see that it's once again "Tumblr gets overly-vigilant about tagging posts as Mature" season.

[blvck-coffee-dad]

@staff, are y'all sexually aroused by this post?

[ulysses-but-somehow-more-transer]

take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me

[armpits-are-crying]

nope. funkytown again

[ulysses-but-somehow-more-transer]

come on

[screampotato]

Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).

When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".

When the boat is still being built, your say "it".

When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".

When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".

When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.

If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").

If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")

If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").

If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.

If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.

I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.

[glitched-out-mess]

[theramblingvoid]

Hit "view post" and lost it

[theunfairfolk]

in elementary school i figured out how to customize the classroom desktop's autocorrect to make Word change whole sentences. this made it appear almost like the computer was responding to you. you could, for example, type in "where did i put my keys", hit enter, and watch it switch to "you put them under the couch". this was before chatbots, and we were all 9 so i considered it closer to a magic trick than a tech one.

i immediately scripted out a dialogue exchange between me and a girl who had died by the swings (classic). i invited another student over and told them i had found a ghost, then proceeded to type out the pre-scripted exchange. i was immediately pulled into the counselors office. the kicker was that none of the adults could figure out how i did it. i had to show them the menu and everything.

[theunfairfolk]

important detail i forgot to add: the swing ghost wanted blood sacrifices from the students. in my defense it was "only a few drops".

[goldenaltar]

concept: no astrophage au where eridians and humans still make first contact but like, properly. a whole diplomatic mission meeting in the middle of space to save travel time. stratt is humanity's greatest representation. the eridian equivalent is equally as scary and secretly soft. it's all very star trek.

but rocky and grace put the whole diplomacy thing in jeopardy by being too best buddy with it. like they're both really low level members of the mission. some engineer necessary for ship maintenance, and an obligatory molecular biologist they brought along in case they found more alien cells out in space. and these two guys like, somehow keep ending up hanging out essentially "at the back of the classroom." consistently left out of the actually important negotiations, and well, they're bored!

grace steals some laptops and starts jury-rigging his own personal translator for rocky, despite the fact that the official translation software is way quicker to learn and much more nuanced. rocky starts learning english, simplifies his eridian, and immediately starts mocking grace for needing the software. they start blabbing to each other about all the weird quirks of their respective cultures and advanced science their planets can do. the whole time they are ribbing each other about culture stuff. grace eats in front of rocky. rocky forces grace to sleep in a corridor somewhere so he can keep watch.

then stratt and the eridian leader find out and it's like

stratt: you. you've been meeting in private with a member of the eridian deligation?

grace: ... yyyes.

stratt: and you shared with them classified scientific documents?

grace: i... maybe gave him. a laptop. he's so smart! what was i supposed to do?

stratt: HIM? you've assigned male pronouns to a genderless species?

grace: he said he likes to match!

stratt: do you even know the name of this eridian?!

grace: i call him rocky :)

stratt: 😰

then on rocky's side of things it's like

eridian leader: sorry did you say you called the human after one of its digestive noises?

rocky: yeah :)

eridian leader: and. you've been telling it about how to make xenonite. one of our most vital trading resources.

rocky: yes yes, grace is very ignorant about basic chemistry 🙄

eridian leader: right. and you watch it sleep. despite the fact that all the human beings we have spoken to have described this as a cultural violation?

rocky: well he didn't like it at first but he came around!!

anyway both sides of the delegation are sweating profusely (metaphorically speaking) until they see rocky and grace in action and are like ohh! they're both freaks. we are not to blame for this. these two are just really bad at navigating cultural norms.

cut to grace curled up with rocky while he sleeps like a baby.

[sforzzz]

copper ii sulfate has no reason to be this blue. this shade of blue looks like it should only be a digital invention

[rabbitindisguise]

forbidden blue raspberry candy

[milf--adjacent]

[deathstars]

HELLO ! have you thought about Van Gogh’s First Steps today ?

[deathstars]

Here you go. This world is beautiful. Humans are beautiful. I love you

[crabussy]

time for my monthly wizard city rewatch. this episode haunts me. I'm like a parasite to it. I need it to survive I crawl inside it and take its nutrients. it's like a virus to me. it hijacks my cells to reproduce inside me. I barely find the episode plot interesting anymore I just spend hours scouring every scene for shit I've already seen twenty times. if I go too long without rewatching it my skin starts to itch on a metaphysical level. I feel like a sickly kitchen basil plant demanding water. having a special interest is so fun. does anyone know how to moult out of your skin if you are a member of a species of mammal that does not do that

[crabussy]

WIZARDS WIZARDS WIZARDS

I'm just going for it. launching into every design with an empty head and no sketch. erasing as little as possible. wanted to really capture the feeling of wizard city being weird and wonderful and unpredictable by literally not planning what I'm drawing until it's already on the page

[oodlyenough]

a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.

[nongunktional]

it's really embarrassing how much self control i have to exert when you put me in front of a tray of convenient and tender meat like if you put meatballs in front if me the fuckers are gone in milliseconds. same true of roadted brussels sprouts or basically anything that's a nice little dense and textured morsel. i am the hors that d'ouvres

[nongunktional]

do not stand at my plate and snack. that shit's all mine. please give it back. i am the dozen hors that d'ouvre. i am the meatball's gentle curve. i am the cracker's butter crunch. i am a thousand grapes for lunch.

[zzoupz]

my favorite genre of human rocky fanfiction is when you can tell the author just really, really want to write James Ortiz RPF

[zzoupz]

human rocky looks like james ortiz: yeah thats his actor. makes sense

human rocky's last name is ortiz: well i guess you have to get a last name from somewhere. thats fair

human rocky's first name is james: huh

human rocky was a theatre kid: okay so,

[zzoupz]

do they know it's legal (referring to rpf)

[tabloidsores]

Two dudes in my group chat have been playing league & slowly but surely have shifted from saying "wanna play league of legends" to "wanna play some geego legends". At this point their average post is just @ing the other and going "geegogagand?" and I feel insane

[tabloidsores]

What is going on

[junglejim4322]

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices