Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
taylor price
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Stranger Things
Not today Justin
d e v o n
š
blake kathryn
ellievsbear
Today's Document
macklin celebrini has autism
Peter Solarz
Sweet Seals For You, Always
hello vonnie
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
#extradirty
sheepfilms
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Aqua Utopiaļ½ęµ·ć®åŗć§čØę¶ćē“”ć
untitled
seen from Germany
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@janitorqueer
Drag king stories #9
Iām back to performing, after a 5 year hiatus. āAdam Andro-maticā was last seen at a small bar downtown doing drag-aoke as a wind-up-doll to the song āBlue Mondayā by New Order. And then the pandemic hit, and I havenāt been back to that bar since. A new opportunity came up recently! An acquaintance put on a show at a small theater in November that we attended, and they asked me if I wanted toā¦
I came out at work, redux
Eight years ago, after a long buildup, I finally came out at work as trans, and more specifically, non-binary. It was right after Trump had been elected, and before he took office. It feels like a long time ago now. Lots of new staff members have been hired since then; I donāt have reasons or avenues to come out to any of them. Last week though, an opportunity arose. Er rather, I took somethingā¦
The Future of Queer People in the Janitorial Field
I got an email from a reader named Ike the other day. They said, hi there! found this site killing time before my shift as a fill in custodian for the NYCSSS and it was about exactly what i was looking for lol. I wish my question was more close ended, but basically, what do you think is the future for being queer in a field like this? At the moment, i have only worked alongside someone else evenā¦
Ten year anniversary of this blog!
Ten years ago, today, I started ājanitorqueer.ā I wanted to write about being queer, specifically genderqueer, and about being a janitor. Mostly though, I wanted to find and connect with others who had similar stories. I wanted to be on testosterone long-term, but I was afraid that it was going to do irreversible ādamageā to my body and my life. And before that stage, I was so afraid of even justā¦
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Ten years on testosterone (and also off, on, back off/on, etc.)
Prior to finally trying testosterone, ten years ago today, I was stressing so hard about whether to do it or not. Perseverating for years, really. If I could go back to that younger version of myself, Iād say, āJust try the dang thing! It doesnāt have to mean anything in particular, as far as identity, and youāll probably fairly quickly know whether itās something to continue to pursue or not.ā¦
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Specific trauma feels so far away
Specific trauma feels so farĀ away
For as long as Iāve had this blog (9 years!), Iāve written annually around this time of year, about a hospitalization I went through at age 17. I was there for 19 days; it was voluntary but quickly became involuntary once it was clear I wasnāt actually based in reality. This year, I wasnāt sure if was going to write anything. Iāve been thinking it over for the past few days. What else is thereā¦
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Addressing hate mail
I got some hate mail yesterday, and decided to respond. Anonymous asked, Why the fuck are you doingvthis [sic] to yourself and causing other people to follow you. [sic] The main reason Iām doing āthisā to myself is because I value the quality of my life. Iām just going to have to venture a guess about what āthisā is, based on the contents of this blog: taking testosterone, getting top surgery,ā¦
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Laura Jane Grace and Her Dysphoria Hoodie
Laura Jane Grace and Her DysphoriaĀ Hoodie
On Wednesday, a friend posted on social media that he had an extra ticket to go see singer/songwriter/trans icon/punk rocker Laura Jane Grace in the next town over, and did anyone want to take him up on it? My first reaction was, āOh wow! I would love to see her!ā Followed by, āDamn, I have to work, like always.ā (I work till 9:30pm ā not conducive to having much of an evening social life.) Theā¦
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Haircut
Last week, I got my hair cut by a professional for the first time in over 20 years. Why havenāt I done this sooner?! I was aware that I had acquired some stubborn habits around my hair, and I was going to someone to intervene, but it still took me a long time to follow through and book an appointment. Hair salons / barber shops are one of the most gendered spaces someone can enter. That is theā¦
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Incorporating a traumatic event into a narrative, pt. 2
Incorporating a traumatic event into a narrative, pt.Ā 2
Every year around this time, since starting this blog eight years ago, I revisit the events surrounding a hospitalization that happened when I was 17. That was 22 years ago now, and Iām getting closer toward a goal of sharing my writing about it with a wider audience. Two years ago, I wrote, āMaybe one day Iāll share it with a wider audience.ā Last year, I wrote that I was actively working on aā¦
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Electric Plush
This essay and collage was first publishedĀ forĀ FemmeĀ SalĆ©eās zine issueĀ Perverse Bodies, Winter 2021. More about this awesome collective of artists, writers, and curators can be found at Femme SalĆ©e. On Halloween afternoon, 2009, I was running around doing last minute things like my head was cut off. Our inaugural variety show was kicking off that night, at the local community space that hadā¦
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Back on testosterone, yet again
Back on testosterone, yetĀ again
I like to make note of when Iām on and off testosterone, and this time, Iām way behind on mentioning it ā Iāve been back on since July 20th. I hit it hard initially with a pretty high dose (100mg per week) and then lowered it to 60mg per week. So far, my menstrual cycle halted immediately (fingers crossed this continues to be the case ā itās been over 2 months so Iām thinking I might be in theā¦
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Working 9-5
Last Wednesday, I asked my supervisor if I could work from 9am ā 5:30pm for the rest of the summer, and he agreed. And then it struck me all over again that Iāve never worked this standard shift before in my life ā Iāve worked almost everything except, spanning from super early to super late (excluding overnights). Iāve been with this school district for 19 years so far, first as a painter, butā¦
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Tried testosterone for the first time 8 years ago, today
Tried testosterone for the first time 8 years ago,Ā today
Eight years is a long time! Trying T, even though I wasnāt at all sure I was going to like it, but positive I needed to at least see what it was like, was one of the best decisions Iāve made for myself. For the first few years, it was a very fine line between feeling very connected to what it was doing for my inner world, versus not wanting any physical changes. I was microdosing, but evenā¦
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Back off testosterone again
Back off testosteroneĀ again
The last time I injected testosterone, for the time being, was December 8th. I like to keep tabs of when I go on and off it ā Iām back around to off again. The first thing I noticed that was new / different was today: my co-worker made microwave popcorn downstairs while I was upstairs, and even though she does this on occasion, I actually could smell it today. And as I sit here typing, I canā¦
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Incorporating a traumatic event into a narrative
Incorporating a traumatic event into aĀ narrative
On this day, 21 years ago, I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for 19 days. I was 17. Iāve observed this time of year, every year since starting this blog 7 years ago, by revisiting the events surrounding it, in one form or another. This year, it feels like not a big deal at all. This hasnāt always been the case, but itās felt less and less traumatic as the years have gone by. Processing itā¦
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What cleaning looks like at school during COVID-19
What cleaning looks like at school duringĀ COVID-19
Today was the kidsā first day back, and boy did things go differently! Iāve been a school cleaner for 16 years, and, interestingly, Iāve never before had less to do than I do right now. This might seem counter-intuitive, but itās actually a testament as to how well-planned out things are to account for whatās going on. No amount of planning is going to stop the spread completely, butā¦ well, weāllā¦
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