I still don't understand why dick riding isn't an Olympic sport, because I am a fucking pro rider.

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@jashinblessthishole
I still don't understand why dick riding isn't an Olympic sport, because I am a fucking pro rider.
Sometimes, as a treat I like to fart in Deidara's room and lock him in to choke on it.
If the clap of Itachi's ass cheeks goes off in the forest and there's no enemy shinobi around, does it make a sound?
If somebody could use A Thousand Years of Death on my asshole I would really appreciate it.
Shikamaru: I am
Rating the Akatsuki on if I would take them partying. (Least to most likely)
Itachi: This poor gay, Victorian child with Tuberculosis should just stay home and fuckin' sleep.
Kakuzu: No.
Tobi: In hindsight he would probably be fun, but I don't wanna babysit him.
Sasori: Unless there's a ventriloquist there, he's sort of useless.
Zetsu: To be fair, I don't know if he's ever been to a party.
Konan: She'd get bored after half an hour and wanna leave, then bitch at me for dragging her there.
Pein: He'd probably just stand there and frown the entire time, but at least he's stick around, even if just for the food.
Deidara: He'd probably be fun and knows how to party.
Kisame: This fucker would be hilarious to party with. Have you seen the guy?
Tbh if Shikamaru walked up to me and punched me in the face I would probably thank him.
Can you have a daddy kink if the daddy is younger than you? Or is it a son kink? What do you do when they blow out your back? (Or throw you in a hole) Call them sport?
Rating the Akatsuki on if I would eat their ass. Least to most likely
Sasori: Splinters.
Kisame: Probably like sandpaper down there.
Tobi: Would probably fart in my mouth and give me pink eye.
Konan: I feel like she'd be super judgemental about how I do it. I don't need that kind of hostility.
Deidara: Definitely but I feel like he'd also fart on me. On purpose. A malicious farter.
Zetsu: I mean, hear me out. He looks like a pot plant. Maybe I will get a contact high.
Pein: I get the feeling he's kinky and would be into it.
Itachi: I feel like he's got some cake and probably is wild. I'd eat it.
Kakuzu: yes.
@hidan-birthday-bang // Hidan is secretly Jashin
I thought this could be the first of a serie of conjectures about Hidan's religion
Pet your partner >)
Daddy 😩💦🍆🍑
Deidara: Being ambidextrous helps when it comes to being a great artist, hm.
Hidan: How the hell does fucking more than one gender make you a good artist?!
Deidara: What? That’s not what that —
Hidan: Well, whatever; you’re gonna stay my damn annoying friend no matter who you’re trying to stick it into, okay?
Deidara:
Deidara: … thank you for your support.
yes! i do like [problematic thing]! and unfortunately i am under no obligation to defend my interests to strangers on the internet. good day and thank you for your time
becoming immortal and extremely fertile by the the regular ingestion of yogurt