jack and the bilingual bullshit
jack wonât watch a british show without french subtitles because itâs too hard to understand their accents, but he also watches foreign movies with english subtitles even though the french option is right there??? jack????
unclear on how his own name is pronounced. his parents donât seem very sure either. he is afraid to ask.
jack hates english punctuation so much. so much. why is it always cramping his style.Â
shitty can tell when jackâs writing a paper in English because his texts get increasingly capital-F French
shitty replies with âhello jack    .  when are we going to annie   â  s  . lardo says   << i   â m hungry >>   .â
autocorrect is also cramping his style
marty texts to ask about the game schedule the next day and jack, being half asleep, forgets to change his language settings and replies âDevonshire entire la a 17 heiress pour lo dinnerâ
marty always replies to these texts with âthanks, jacques, that was helpfulâ
jackâs slowly teaching his english autocorrect to speak french; shitty claims that if you yell âhey siri - FUCK NOâ when it corrects to the wrong word itâll learn faster
autocorrect knows to leave tabarnak alone, because jack is a great teacher.
speaking of siri - why does she not understand anything jack says ever, any of the time. jack and siri Are Not Friends. they are not bros and jack does not like her.
absolutely refuses to watch disney movies in english. that is not the language of disney. heâs seen a whole ten minutes of the english version of the lion king; all of the voices were Wrong
he thinks bilingual puns are so funny!!!! he only gets say them every once in a while but theyâre hilarious!!!!!!!
jack once called ransom, with an actual honest to god phone call, just to tell him a great pun that bitty didnât react to strongly enough
(a key part of ransâ impression of jack is the phrase âi just told bitty this one but he didnât laughâ)
he takes german for his language credit freshman year (shitty: HAVE YOU NOT DONE ENOUGH) and fails a test on possessives because he never learned how to use apostrophes in english and he canât figure out how to translate plural possessives. he may be the first person to fail a german test because his english isnât good enough.
just?? random gaps everywhere in his english knowledge, honestly. he can write a paper but he doesnât know what an adverb is. he missed two spelling tests in high school because of a concussion and he still just lets spellcheck tell him how to write âoccurredâ
jack knows history vocabulary but he learned a lot of it out of books and he doesnât actually know how to pronounce any of it in english
he does presentations with his Absolute Most French Accent just so everyone is really clear that he doesnât know what heâs doing
has no idea about science words and wonât discuss it with anyone in english, no thank you
someone claims that jack once implied that petroleum comes from exploding fish bones; every time they try to ask jack about it he dodges the question and then runs away.
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