4ever long

26 melancholy to be turned to fulfillment

[jayecup]

I'm not going to neglect the seeds I've planted

[jayecup]

Emotionally distraught sad Jakey moment viewer discretion is advised

[jayecup]

Everytime I post 😼 : man I can't wait till this hot hell, this savory heaven pops up in their feeds hehe 😁🤣

[jayecup]

It won't wipe off

It won't wipe off

It won't wipe off

It strings it burns it hurts

It hurts

It hurts

[jayecup]

When did I become self conscious and scared? I was wilding out going full manic mode. Then took a nose dive into this depressive episode. Yet honesty, I don't think any of it made sense until now. I just haven't been in a good mental state the past few months 🤕 mehh I don't think anyone is coming back now but my friends don't appear to be too judgmental so maybe I shouldn't be so worried about it. I just feel weird reaching out. I hope they know I love them all very dearly :3 they were actually there for me a lot 🥺 I'm sure if I texted some they'd respond 😪 I'm thankful to have friends. It means the world to be thought of. I feel like I don't express that enough. Always feeling "lovesick" and all... maybe it's time to think of the platonic love I have to be grateful for ^^ I really don't think I wanna romantically love anyone for at least awhile though part of me wouldn't mind saying that with even more permanence.

[jayecup]

Proof

[jayecup]

Hi FBI :3 yes I am normal 0_0 oops >_<

[jayecup]

Unhinged

[jayecup]

I liked the way you enjoyed food first >_< I miss eating 😢 I always thought it was pretty cute 😪

[jayecup]

Praying stone could beat the sea

The sea

I felt a shift beneath my skin

So collapse to erosion setting in

Every step back felt like the truth

Learning how to lose you

It didn't break!

We we went underway

Like where cliffs meet the ocean kept calling her name!

Wave after wave

It craved out the truth

Now I'm less of myself everytime I think of you...

You only did it for me one time

This is what's left after loving you

No fire in the current just moves

How it moves

If loves a shore then I stay too long

Let the world decide where we went wrong

I'll hate the sea

I just hate the proof

that i couldn't be enough to hold on to you

WE DIDN'T BREAK

We we we watched it dust!

So emotional and deep!

Quite a rush!

IF YOU HEAR MY NAME IN THE POOL OF BLUE

THAT'S ME LETTING GO THE WAY OCEANS DO

[jayecup]

I don't hate anyone

I try to offer and accept grace

But I don't think I ever quite felt worthy of the latter

The idea my soul was deserving of certainty

With no doubt

Just firm resolve in the way you look at me

Matched intensity

The sentiment

"No matter how hard it gets,

I won't ever give up on you"

Felt nice to extend so passionately

To breathe into existence

Yet I never truly heard those words with the same fire

The comfort I give others was simply what was never afforded to me

But is that so wrong?

It's the idea of such a love existing that's so exciting to me

People act disgusted by love and yet here I am

A bright shiny star to warm your heart

I feel so much love within

I have so much more to give

My love is lovestruck truly loved by love such luck hehe

[thesecretivemaiden]

I hate feeling so helpless and powerless when it comes to you. I want you to be mine already. I don't like this waiting process.

Because I'm such a coward, I'm unable to tell you how I feel about you. How every hour passes by with you on my mind. Constantly.

I wish you were mine already. I don't want to wait anymore. I've asked the God I worship so much to give you to me.

I dislike thinking of a future that you're not in with me. I need some sort of connection with you again.

I miss that deep conversations we had back when we were younger. That made our bond grow so much more deeper than ever.

I want you to tell about things that were so important to you but seen as idiotic to other people.

I just need to see you again, please... Just this once.

[jayecup]

I'm nothing but my pain to a lot of people. I don't except to be anything but suffocated by that projection. Pain is heavy, something no one wants to carry nowadays. There's no choice but to be strong. For me to walk alone. I lead anyone I loved to ruin. The karma eats me alive at night. There's no choice but to keep quiet and be ignored by everyone. Please stop trying to be the one to combat these terrible thoughts. Why do you look at me differently? Why? I am not. I am as bad as I'd tell you. Does being honest make it any better? No. I'm a gross disgusting creature you should've left in the place you found me in. Since then I lost my way. The soft glances you give that penetrate my heart beyond what I can express. I think about you all day and night but you're unlikely to notice. I hope you don't notice how intensely I look at you. My heart beats for anyone. Anyone I let in. My heart just beats for them. I can't control it. I'm a monster. A touch starved tortured soul, repressed by ideals. I wish I could just bury everything I feel. I wish I could just bury this existence and become nothing. Not the dirt beneath your feet, but pitch black darkness. No percievable thing. I'm done being the Tiger at the zoo for all of you. This instinct to lash out has only ever been me. Everything that was sacred or sentimental to me has long since been destroyed over and over again. I won't do it to you. I won't. I will not. Not ever. Please stop I'm so hungry. Please never again. I'm done with self preservation. I can't. Just please just let me let myself starve this time. I don't want to continue this. I am ashamed for what I have done. Please don't look at me like this. Please just stop looking at me. Please just forget you were ever so burdened by me. Please don't hurt. I know you loved me.

[jayecup]

Damn

[thesoftestmariposa]

I hate the fact that I talk so much. Well, only when I don't have my phone in my hand. But other than that, i talk on and on without end.

It gets to a point where you talk so much that you feel that other people find you annoying because you cannot shut up.

But when you are quiet, they talk as if it became a sport and you just sit there... Listening.

Sad stuff, honestly.

Well, in reality, I just need a yap buddy where both of us talk each other's heads off and when we do figure a way to stop talking..

We find new topics to discuss so that the cycle of deep conversation, laughter and emotion can be on display again.

Why match my freak when you can match my communication instead? Like hello?

[obsessedtillidie]

I want to live with you and our 4 cats together

[jayecup]