March 28, 2026 @ 12:26
I feel like I'm a decent co-worker, and I feel like I communicate as well as possible, but yesterday's interaction was off-putting.
Is it my fault my co-worker was three hours late for work, and thus missed the meeting time the users scheduled with him? No. Yet, it's my fault he assumed a situation was handled by the end of his day, despite there being no indication of such things.
I don't know what happened between he and I, where we're not seeing eye-to-eye, and why I have this perspective of him now. But, this isn't the first time he's done something like this, where he does one thing and means another.
How was I to know that I was still to work on an issue after receiving an email that mentioned a meeting time between the co-worker and the users? All that was said in the email was "FYI", and the previous email below it was from one of the users saying 9a the following morning would work for her. I don't see how I was to interpret that I was to still work on it if the user was willing to delay it until the following morning, so long as they could make changes in the system.
It feels like it was just him projecting his frustrations with himself onto me, because the users emailed about him not showing up to the meeting, and asked me if I had a chance to look into the issue. I wasn't aware that he still mentioned me to the users as someone who was working on the issue, despite the users having scheduled a meeting with him for the following morning. It wasn't communicated to me that I was still expected to work on the issue before the 9a meeting could happen.
It seemed fairly straightforward, or so I thought, that the FYI email was to let me know they were going to troubleshoot things the following morning. But no, that was apparently to inform me about the situation, despite the users being fine with waiting until the following morning. How was I not the one actively communicating, when everything was happening out of my view after receiving an informational email with no other context outside of "FYI"?
I know that he has a problem with communicating at times, and I try not to over-communicate, yet somehow I'm the problem because he assumed things were handled when he clocked out before I had, while the users were still expecting to meet with him the following morning. Why hadn't he followed up with me before he clocked out? Why is it that I'm the problem, despite me still jumping in when the users reached out that following morning due to him not showing up to the meeting they scheduled with him? I still stepped in when I was aware that I was needed, yet I'm in the wrong for misunderstanding why an email was forwarded to me?
This soured things more than I thought it would, because I thought we worked well together, but I guess I was wrong. It just sounds like I'll over-communicate from here on out. Because we won't be able to see eye-to-eye, or rather it doesn't seem like we will.
It was the fact that an email containing a meeting time was passed along, and him being upset I wasn't able to communicate that I "couldn't perform a task" due to him ending his day "assuming it was handled" since he's "not my boss" and "reliant on active communication on my side". Yet, he didn't communicate with the users that he wasn't going to attend the meeting the following morning for the issue he was initially handling and tried to pass off to me while not informing me that I was still needed...
I understand I didn't "maintain ownership" of the situation after the email was passed along my way, but he also didn't follow-up with me to ensure things were handled, nor told the users and myself that he wasn't going to attend the meeting. I understand him not showing up to the meeting looks bad, but I also wasn't the one who told him not to show up, nor was I the one who told him to "not accept the meeting". I understand now that the FYI email was "to make my job easier" while looking into the issue, but why wasn't that communicated better when there was clearly something about a meeting for the following morning being suggested by the user in that same forwarded email?
It also felt like a power move, and not a collaborative critique, because of how I had to explain myself since he couldn't comprehend where there would've been miscommunication and why there was "inaction" on my part, despite me offering my time when I thought it was needed and going back to my own work when I thought I was no longer needed. I don't understand why it was my fault, my problem, when there was clearly a meeting that was scheduled by the user for later with the co-worker who was initially involved.
It's just taking me awhile to get over it, since it threw me off and I didn't understand what felt like hostility, nor why it was aimed my way. But I think I do now. And I already took ownership of what I "failed" to do in the situation, despite what I actually feel. Because, at the end of the day, things could've been handled better, and things could've been communicated better, and yet the issue was still resolved regardless.
This isn't a setback, just a hiccup.








