Jeine Eyre

I have no idea what I'm doing.

[fagstaynight]

Sorry boss i cant come into work tomorrow the old jolly king just slapped his belly and leaned back in his chair with a big leg of lamb in his hand and loudly declared that the festivities shall last all through the night

[zisurru]

imagine trying to impress a girl but it’s 1640 so you have to sing her a madrigal with viol accompaniment but there are so many ribbons on your doublet that they get tangled in your viol strings and you get so flustered your cap falls off. whole time your patron is watching from across the courtyard and you just know he's cutting your salary...

[trumpetsbyjasonderulo]

one must imagine sisyphus in margaritaville

[b0nkcreat]

let’s all crash our cars into walls

[b0nkcreat]

see it’s literally fine if we just do it safely

[wiki-but-made-them-up]

[mx-trap-house]

gideon vs cytherea fight was literally hydrogen baby vs coughing bomb if you think about it

[johnnysilverhandssuitcasenuke]

[7pleiades7]

Bows to the Moon (Twilight) [Les révérences à la lune (crépuscule)] (1890) by Georges-Marie-Julien Girardot (French, 1856 – 1914), signed and dated ‘Georges Girardot 1890’ (bottom left), oil on canvas, 172 × 222 cm. (67.7 x 87.4 in.), Private Collection

[uboga]

The Dead Icarus, Paul-Ambroise 1758

[stateownedslut]

My stupid poser kidnapper wants to show me my missing person's poster but I don't think they do those any more and I kept saying this but they wouldn't listen until they wordlessly handed me a printout of a bbc article talking about it. They want to compose a ransom note with newspaper type but don't know how to buy newspapers as someone under 60 without looking suspicious. The other day I saw in the fridge a carton of oat milk with a home-printed photo of me obviously taken by them awkwardly glued to the side. I don't even get a basement. This is a one-bedroom flat.

[vedurnan-archive]

My longhouse is perfectly constructed. Every morning when I wake up in bed at the far end of my longhouse, I say my syllable. Then I spend all day sitting in bed. By sunset my syllable has traveled to the other end of my longhouse and back, and as it smacks me in the head, I fall asleep. My longhouse is perfectly constructed.

[vedurnan-archive]

[quasi-normalcy]

I don't remember finding fart jokes particularly funny even when I was a child.

[quasi-normalcy]

Five year old me, watching a movie with fart jokes: "Oh, how gauche. They're pandering to the lowest common denominator."

[littlefleamart]

(source)

[nicolodigenovas]

The ability to have nice conversations with strangers and especially store employees will save your everyday life from greyness

[sobcat]

there's always something you have to pay for

[easterndaylighttime]

if I just had the presence of mind and the wherewithal and the chutzpah and the bandwidth and the executive function and the energy and the mental resources and the spoons and the right attitude and the capacity and the gumption and th

[lacetulle]

Almée Couture | The World Inside Me