⤷ mdni, explicit content, dom!riki × sub!reader, rough sex, wrist pinning, doggy, unprotected p in v (wrap your willy), clit stimulation, dirty talk
wc:: 687 ﹒💬 wiv's note. . . craving this rn. send me recs guyss
You moan loudly into the sheets, pushing your body back against his because, fuck, it feels way too good and you need more. "Riki, fuck… deeper."
He lets out a mocking laugh and stretches one arm forward, grabbing both your wrists and pulling them behind your back, pinning them there so you can’t move while he keeps fucking you hard.
"Fuck, this pussy’s squeezing me so tight," he growls, his free hand sliding down to smack your ass — hard enough to sting in the best way and make you clench even harder around his cock.
His balls slap against your clit with every thrust, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through your body.
It’s hard to think straight with him buried so deep, hitting that spot inside you that makes your toes curl. He tightens his grip on your wrists, pulling them back to arch you even more, completely at his mercy as he picks up the pace, fucking you faster and harder.
"You like being my little sex toy, huh? You like when I use this pretty fucking pussy." He smacks your ass again, then rubs the spot before grabbing and spreading you wider, so he can watch his cock disappear into your soaked pussy.
Every inch of him drags along your inner walls, the friction so good it makes you moan and whimper nonstop. Your arms strain against his hold, but you don’t really want to get free; being completely at his mercy only makes the heat burn hotter, and your pussy pulses around him.
"You’re dripping down my balls, baby… so wet for me." His fingers find your clit, rubbing it fast and hard while he keeps fucking you deep.
"Riki… ah, fuck, I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that," you moan, your voice cracking as the pressure builds fast in your belly.
He lets out a satisfied laugh and rubs even harder; his cock slams all the way in at the same time, filling you completely.
Your whole body tenses, thighs shaking, and then the pleasure hits you hard. Your pussy clenches and pulses around him as you cum, letting out a loud, shaky moan.
He doesn’t slow down at all, keeping up those brutal, deep thrusts as he chases his own pleasure. "Fuck, your pussy’s milking me so good."
You feel hypersensitive, but in the best way — that kind of overwhelming sensation that makes you want even more, even right after cumming.
You turn your head further, looking back over your shoulder at him as best you can. "Keep fucking me like this, don’t pull out… I want you to use me until you cum."
"You sound so good when you beg like that." He keeps pounding you hard, his hand slapping your ass as he speeds up, the wet sounds of skin slapping filling the room.
A second wave of pleasure starts building fast — he’s hitting every perfect spot and his fingers never stop working your sensitive clit.
"Riki, fuck… I’m already so close again." You push your body back, bouncing against him while he grips your wrists even tighter.
"You're such a good girl for me," he says, voice strained as he gets closer to the edge, his cock pulsing inside you. You clench around him on purpose, trying to drag him over the limit with you.
"Cum inside me, Riki… fill me up." Your voice, thick with desire, is all he needs. He groans loudly, thrusting deep a few more times before burying himself to the hilt and cumming hard, hot spurts of cum filling you.
The sensation pushes you over the edge too. Another orgasm crashes through you, making your pussy pulse and squeeze him tight as you moan his name, voice shaky.
Once you both catch your breath and the spasms start to fade, he slowly pulls his cock out so you feel every inch. His cum leaks out of you onto the sheets, and the sight makes his cock twitch — already starting to get hard again. "I’m not done with you yet… this time I want to see your face while I fuck you.”
᭪ boyfriend!riki — keeping you filled during movie night
Movie nights with Riki were usually quiet, but tonight he had a very specific idea of how he wanted you sitting.
You were barely twenty minutes into the film when he shifted you onto his lap, guiding you down onto him until you were stretched full around his length. Before you could even react, his large hand settled over your hip, pinning you flush against his chest.
“Don't move,” he murmured into the crook of your neck, his breath hot against your skin. “Just sit still and hold me.”
You tried to adjust, just a tiny shift to get comfortable... but his grip instantly tightened. His hand clamped hard around your waist, a sharp, warning swat landing against the side of your bare thigh.
The sudden sting made you gasp, your core clamping down around him involuntarily as he dug his fingers into your hip bone to lock you down. Riki let out a low, satisfied hum against the nape of your neck, his thumb lazily tracing your ribs.
“Told you,” he whispered, his chin resting on your shoulder with his eyes still trained on the TV over you. “Be a good girl and stay still.”
You forced yourself to freeze, every muscle locked tight even as the thick heat of him pulsed deep inside you. The stretch was relentless, his cock so heavy and warm it felt like it was branding you from the inside.
You could feel every ridge, every subtle throb as blood rushed through him. Your walls fluttered helplessly around the intrusion, trying to milk him even while you stayed perfectly still.
Minutes dragged. The movie played on, dialogue and music washing over you, but all you could focus on was the way he filled you so completely that even breathing made the pressure shift.
A tiny rock of your hips earned you another sharp slap, his palm cracking across the outer curve of your hip. Heat bloomed under your skin, and you bit your lip hard to keep from moaning as his grip forced your body lower onto his length.
Riki’s free hand slid up, long fingers wrapping lightly around the your throat. Not squeezing—just resting there, a quiet threat as he held your head back against his shoulder. His thumb stroked the side of your neck in lazy circles while his cock sat buried to the hilt, twitching every time your pussy clenched around him in response to the sting.
“You’re dripping all over me,” he murmured against your ear, his voice rough and low. “Making a mess on my lap and you still can’t stay still.”
You whimpered. The sound was soft, needy. He answered by tightening his grip on your throat just enough to make your breath hitch, then releasing it again. The contrast made your cunt spasm around him. Another warning swat landed against your thigh, harder this time, the impact forcing a wet sound from where you were joined as he squeezed your hips tight against his.
Halfway through the movie you were shaking. Tears had started to gather at the corners of your eyes from the sheer frustration of being so full and not allowed to move. Every tiny shift earned either a harsh sting across your thigh or that grip closing around your throat until your head spun back against his chest.
Your legs trembled, hooked over his thighs. Your clit throbbed, neglected and swollen, friction grinding against the base of his shaft every time you took a shaky breath.
“Riki—” you finally whispered, voice cracking.
“Shh.” His lips brushed your ear. “Movie’s not over. You can take it. You’ve been doing so well.” He squeezed your sensitive hip firmly, the pressure sharp in contrast to how soaked you both were. “Look at you. Crying already and I haven’t even fucked you yet.”
By the time the credits started rolling you were a mess—tears streaking down your cheeks, soft broken sobs slipping out every time his cock twitched inside you. Your hole was fluttering nonstop, trying desperately to grind down, to feel friction, anything. You were so wet that every subtle pulse of his length made filthy little squelching sounds.
Riki finally turned his head, dark eyes locking on your tear streaked face. The hand on your throat tightened just enough to make your vision blur at the edges.
“Please—please, Riki, I need it, I can’t—fuck, I need you to move, please, I’ll be good, just fuck me, please—”
That was all it took.
He shoved you forward so your chest hit the couch cushions, hips yanking you back until your ass was high and presented.
One hard thrust buried him to the root again, knocking the air from your lungs.
“R-Riki—!” you gasped out, your voice cracking as the sudden surge of pleasure shattered what little composure you had left.
Then he started pounding—deep, brutal strokes that made the couch creak and the wet slap of his hips against yours ringing through the room. Every thrust dragged over that swollen spot inside you until your eyes rolled.
“Ah—w-wait, Ki, it’s too much—!” you sobbed, fingers clutching at the couch cushions for leverage as your body shook under him.
“Fuck, you’re so geedy,” he rasped, one hand fisting in your hair to keep your face pressed into the cushions while the other spanked you in time with his thrusts.
“Sitting on my cock for a whole movie, dripping and shaking, and now you’re taking it like a good little slut. Look at you, you’re taking it so well.”
The friction was overwhelming, a relentless build of heat that coiled so tight in your lower stomach it made your head spin.
Every time he pulled back, the cool air hit your soaked skin for just a split second before he slammed back in, hitting that same sensitive mark with cruel precision.
Your fingers dug uselessly into the cushion beneath you, knuckles turning white as you tried to brace yourself against the pace, but there was no escaping him. He had you completely pinned, trapping all the sound in your throat until you were practically suffocating on the sheer weight of him and the intense, electric ache spreading through your entire body.
You came hard, sobbing into the fabric, walls clamping down in rhythmic pulses that only made him fuck you harder. He didn’t slow. He chased his own pleasure with long, punishing strokes, balls slapping against your soaked folds, cock stretching you open on every drive.
When he finally buried himself to the hilt and came, it was with a deep, guttural groan. Hot pulses of cum flooded you, thick and endless, painting your walls until you felt it start to leak out around his length.
He stayed buried, grinding deep to push every drop further inside while you whimpered and trembled beneath him.
Only when the last spurt had left him did he lean down, lips brushing the shell of your ear, voice rough and satisfied.
“Good girl. Now stay full for me a little longer… we’re watching another one.”
♯ livi's note ⋮ hello friends! i'm super excited to be posting some stuff again and i'm going to start with this nsfw alphabet prompt! if there are any particular members y'all want next, feel free to request those in the comments or my inbox, but i hope you guys enjoy this and are excited for the other members too!
♯ interactions and feedback are very much appreciated! requests too!
⭑.ᐟ a = aftercare (what they're like after sex)
ni-ki genuinely gets into sex so much that he’s exhausted at the end, but not nearly as much as you are. he’ll drag himself up off the bed eventually once his heart stops pounding dramatically in his chest, but it’s usually just to lug his heavy limbs to the bathroom. he grabs a washcloth or wipe and will clean you up gently (sometimes too gently and he’ll leave some fluids somewhere that just get nastily sticky overnight but oh well) but after that, nothing else is game until the morning.
he definitely crashes hard once that simple thing is taken care of and you’ve got to wriggle out of his hold to go pee before you fall asleep, but he’s a very good cuddler, that’s for sure. every part of him is pressed to you as you sleep, and it honestly makes the full clean up in the morning a lot more anticipated because of how sticky the two of you still are with sweat when you wake up to an alarm or the morning sun.
but yeah, the shower the morning after is incredible and he claims it’s life changing every single time. well only because he gets to wash your tits and squeeze your ass, and you wash his hair like he loves.
ni-ki just can’t help his exhaustion and it’s his own fault, but he still tries to make as much of an effort as he can to give you aftercare before the two of you are off to dreamland. he does his best and you’re okay with that, especially with the princess treatment you get before he’s done with you.
⭑.ᐟ b = body part (favorite of theirs and their partner)
ni-ki’s favorite body part of his is his abdomen, specifically his abs and rib area where he’s got his side tattoo and kiss mark tattoo. he’s got an obsession with how it looks in the mirror when he’s shirtless and standing there after a shower, and hey, you love everything about him, but the abs and tattoos get you too.
he’s caught you drooling over the toned muscle and ink before, and it’s certainly not the last time he’ll see that from you. in fact, he’s even offered to let you ride his abs before, one plush thigh surrounding the ink on his right side and the other on his bare left ribcage. god it was an experience for the both of you too. the flexed ridges offered such a great thing to grind up against and every roll of your hips made your eyes roll back as sparks of pleasure exploded in your stomach.
ni-ki absolutely loved it and his own eyes were rolling back watching you. it was a sight to behold and he even came in his pants with how aroused he was at providing you pleasure and just watching as the hard work he’d put in his physique paid off in a way he’d never pictured before you entered his life.
and yes it’s quite obvious, but ni-ki is an ass man and will be until he dies. it’s nothing but obvious with the way he touches the members’ butts so why would he pass up getting to squeeze your cute ass whenever he wants.
it’s just so bouncy and bubbly and he loves it. like he loves it to the point that it’ll be the first body part he’ll kiss after your clothes come off in his room during the beginning of an intense night. and don’t even get him started on when he fucks you in doggy style and can smack your ass freely as the spanking sounds mix with those of wet skin slapping where you two are connected. he’ll even feel you up in public sometimes, just absolutely craving the feeling of touching that supple skin almost like a stress toy. if it wasn’t weird and his hyungs didn’t call him out for it, he’d stick his hand in your butt pockets and hold you there instead of holding his hand.
⭑.ᐟ c = cum (anything to do with cum basically)
oh boy, ni-ki is definitely one of those men who can absolutely just shoot rope after rope of cum for what feels like forever after his orgasm starts. it surprised you when you gave him head for the first time and you had to pull off before you choked on all of his spend, the last few long spurts landing across your cheekbones and neck. some even ended up in your hair, which you forced him to help you wash it out after. that was one of the rare few times that he’s ever actually showered right after any sexual activities because after one or two orgasms unless he’s full of energy, he’s so drained he can hardly get up.
and of course since he’s absolutely an ass man, he loves cumming across your ass if he feels like pulling out or if you make him on your extremely fertile but horny days of your cycle. if not, he does really enjoy cumming inside but it does kinda make a mess, he will admit that.
he also likes seeing you slightly covered in his release after it dries since sometimes he’ll be too tired to get up and clean up with you. it’s almost like a little bit of a brand that he can leave on you, which he’s especially reminded of when he finally cleans the dried streaks off you but they leave a little residue.
⭑.ᐟ d = dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory)
secretly, ni-ki loves to show his skills off to other people, let it be from your noises as he plows into you or the members actually seeing him roughly fuck you during the few times you two have been walked in on accidentally. there’s just something about it. it’s not quite an exhibitionism kink but it’s more of a prideful thing that he likes to make sure people know sometimes.
those hotel rooms next to his when he’s snuck you in after a long concert have often complained about the noise but he could care less. the company’s used to it at this point and has given up on telling him to quiet down because they know he’s rebellious about it and loves to defy them as much as he can when it comes to that.
he doesn’t really get off to making you make your noises loud enough for other people to hear, but he’s definitely blown his load early multiple times by thinking about how loud he’s able to make you because he can make you feel just that good.
⭑.ᐟ e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)
ni-ki’s learned a lot of what he knows from videos, not from actual women. he’s only had one or two bodies before you, and he doesn’t plan on having any more if you ask him. you’re just too perfect of a girlfriend, inside and out of the bedroom, for him to ever want to break up and find a new girl to satisfy him.
his first time was with another idol his age. both she and him did it together as sort of just a way to get their virginities out of the way so they could say they’d at least done something. they’re still cordial to each other during music show appearances and the end of year award show interactions, but they’re not really close other than that. yes it was awkward and boring and not that pleasurable to be honest, but it was out of their kindness for each other and that’s what it was about.
he’s had maybe one more experience like that, but ni-ki much preferred to just get himself off before you came into his life. it’s just so much more risky to hook up with people, whether it’s another idol or not, and he got even more satisfaction from his own hand and some decent porn so why take the risk.
⭑.ᐟ f = favorite position (this goes without saying)
like i said above, ni-ki’s favorite position is one hundred percent doggy style. he’ll always love getting to stare right at your gorgeously plump ass as he pounds into you, and don’t even get him started about when you arch your back in that position too.
especially when you drop to your elbows and press your tits into the bed while doing this position, ni-ki never fails to blow his load a whole lot faster than he would in any other position. it’s just such a good sight he can’t resist.
and ni-ki swears, the first time that you fucked doggy style, he’s never come harder ever in his entire life. his eyes rolled back and there were spots all in his vision and everything. plus he was shaking like a leaf and whining like a husky the whole time during his orgasm.
⭑.ᐟ g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
ni-ki doesn’t tend to be very lighthearted during sex. it’s all very passionate and energetic in almost a rough way at times, but he’s very much locked in to the feelings of arousal and attraction, so he won’t just start laughing or crack a joke in the middle of sex, that’s for sure.
however, he is still the type to chuckle a bit at the beginning if the two of you start off with tussling around in the bed as you trade kisses and dodge around some of them. those are always fun ways to start off a couple of hours in bed with him. it always ends in a more fun night full of pleasure for the both of you only with less bruises from his hands and more hickeys on your neck.
⭑.ᐟ h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
ni-ki tends to give off more carefree vibes, so he probably only trims the hair down there instead of completely shaving or waxing it off. he thinks it’s honestly kind of a waste of his time that he could be spending dancing or doing something with you.
speaking of dancing, he’s also honestly worried that shaving or waxing down there would rub up against his pants and make his skin all irritated and screw up his artistry and all, so that’s also one of his real life reasons that he doesn’t do much other than clean it up a bit every little while. he won’t tell you that he’s too lazy for it but he’d definitely do more if you asked him to get rid of it.
thankfully you haven’t said anything about it so he can just go on with what he’s been doing for years regarding his hair down there, and in turn he really doesn’t care what you do with your bush either. you do prefer to be a little more cleaned up, but that’s also so that you can feel the sensations even better when he’s down between your legs, licking at your core like there’s no tomorrow. it also helps that you like feeling more bare and looking smooth when it comes time for summer and the tiny little bikinis that you wear to the private pool of the dorm building that ni-ki lives in.
⭑.ᐟ i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
ni-ki is still pretty young, so he’s not the most intimate compared to passionate and rough. the horny part of his brain tends to take over during any kind of sexual activities that take place between the two of you, but he still treats you well and gives you plenty of orgasms like you deserve. you’re his girl, but he’s not like jay where he treats you like a princess for every second and acts like you might break and you’re super fragile.
all the sweet talk and stuff like that really just doesn’t seem like ni-ki during the deed, but he will whisper some sweet things in your ear during aftercare if he can. he’s a nonchalant gentleman in the streets and a horny freak in the sheets.
⭑.ᐟ j = jack off (how often do they get themselves off? do they jerk off when you're not there?)
you’ve actually asked him if he’s ever gotten a blister on his dick with the way he used to talk about jerking off before he had you. like the man would be jerking it rough and dry twice a day, sometimes even more depending on his free time. yes, he did have lube but ni-ki’s far too into it by the time he’d use it and he leaks enough precum to be just barely avoiding getting any painful sores on his dick from constantly tugging on it.
and yes, he will absolutely still get himself off if he’s off on a tour and you can’t come with him. in fact he’s got a set time every night for you two to call and make yourselves feel good to each other doing so on video call. if you can’t make it, he’s got a whole contingency plan too. there are plenty of pictures, videos, and audios that you two have sexted to each other that he can also get himself off to.
⭑.ᐟ k = kink (one or more of their kinks)
first of all, the man loves to spank you because obvious reasons. that ass jiggles in the most satisfyingly arousing way and makes him cum faster than most anything. if his phone is dead while he’s away, he’ll just close his eyes and think of that ass and he’ll cum in literally less than two minutes. shhh don’t tell anyone but sometimes he’ll even just make you shake it in front of him and then he’ll end up spraying his seed all over the plump, bouncy flesh moments later.
ni-ki also has a bit of a phone sex kink. it means that he can see you all exposed, the sights only for him live, even when he’s halfway across the world from you. sure it’s a very good way for him to release the constant tension and arousal that he gets even when you’re not there, but it only serves as a warm up for the reunion sex when he finally comes back home to you.
also, he most definitely has an audio kink. hearing those sweet little moans come out of your mouth makes him so hard and just fuels his pride and ego even more at being able to satisfy you in an almost overcompensating way. it just tells people that he knows what he’s doing and you feel good, which is his exact mission as a horny boyfriend other than fucking you and having his own pleasure.
⭑.ᐟ l = location (favorite places to do it)
ni-ki can be considered one of the more traditional types of people that loves to fuck in his bedroom in the actual bed, but don’t mistake him for being vanilla when it comes to locations. he’ll fuck you standing up against the wall in his bedroom or even in the shower too. also, the members don’t know this but you two have definitely fucked on the couch in the living room and in the hallway while they were all gone.
for the most part, he enjoys keeping you to himself and locked away in his room, but it’s the noise of it all that he likes to show off no matter if the two of you are kept away from view with the closed and locked door. the bed makes it a lot more comfortable of a place to do numerous positions and round after round, but the other places are fun and enjoyable for you two if it’s just a round or two and then you move off to the comfy bed.
⭑.ᐟ m = motivation (what turns them on/gets them going?)
in general, you’re just a huge turn on for ni-ki because, duh, you’re his hot, attractive girlfriend. however, what attracts him the most about you is your ass obviously. he loves watching it and then getting to touch it, and then by that time he’s already gone, pulsing as his dick fills out to full hardness wherever you two may be.
and then of course when the two of you are going at it, your noises really get him even more turned on (if that’s even possible). the little whimpers and moans that you let out that keep getting louder and louder as he continues to play with you and then when he finally starts thrusting into you make the knot in his stomach so much tighter and his balls draw up so much quicker. he never fails to cum hard and fast with your cute noises.
⭑.ᐟ n = no (something they wouldn't do; turn offs)
considering how much he loves your noises, ni-ki doesn’t like the idea of choking you or using a gag. he wouldn’t be able to hear any of your pretty sounds, and that’s one of his favorite parts of sex (although sex is his favorite in general). also, when it comes to choking you, he’d be more worried that he’d hurt you than aroused. he’s just a lot bigger than you and his strength is a lot at times, and he’d be scared that he’d lose his careful control with his hand(s) around your neck and hurt you more than simply try a new kink.
⭑.ᐟ o = oral (preference in giving/receiving, skill, etc.)
this man absolutely loves oral, almost as much as your ass even. it’s honestly super hard for him to pick whether or not he likes giving or receiving more since he loves the sight of you sucking his dick, on your knees for him as your mouth stretches wide to accommodate his girth, but he also loves hearing those pretty noises in the background of him slurping up all of the arousal and spit that drips from your pussy when he eats you out.
one thing’s for sure, he’s definitely a head pusher. he’ll even hold your hair back for you in a makeshift ponytail as you go down on him, but don’t mistake that sweetness for him going gentle on you. he’ll straight up fuck your throat and moan and groan at the sound of your gags and gurgles around his dick and he loves it. he’s pretty well endowed too, but you’re used to his size now and can even deepthroat him for a little while before coming back up for a big gasp of air and some coughs from the rough treatment. let’s just say he didn’t last long at all when you did that for the first time.
ni-ki’s insanely talented at giving head for someone that’s only been with two girls before you, and he likes to claim that it’s natural but you know he studied a lot of porn before you two made that step in your relationship to finally become intimate with one another. (he doesn’t exactly remember admitting such, but it was when he was slightly drunk and loose-lipped from several bottles of soju). seriously, you get concerned that he’s going to run out of air down there with the way he keeps himself pressed up against your pussy for what seems like so many minutes at a time, but it’s hard to focus on that when he’s constantly flicking his tongue against your clit and then licking downwards and thrusting the muscle into your soaking wet core. god he was blessed with his oral talents because there’s no way any normal person could make your eyes roll back that much just from getting eaten out.
⭑.ᐟ p = pace (are they fast and rough? or slow and sensual? etc.)
ni-ki is not the sensual type and he’s not going to take things slow, that’s for sure. the second he sinks all the way into you, you know you’re about to get swiftly fucked into the mattress. his patience is very low once his dick has been all the way in your glisteningly wet pussy, and he’s going to set a very passionate pace at which he thrusts into you. he tried to go slow and make things all romantic and drawn out once but he gave up after like five thrusts since it really wasn’t doing that much for either of you. you both love a quick paced fuck and really are used to nothing else.
⭑.ᐟ q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
theoretically, ni-ki would love a good quickie but it’s just too short, as the name implies. yes, he could make that round quick since you never fail to make him cum easily for the most part, but he would not want to stop after just one round. he’s got way too much energy and horniness to get out to stop after just one or two orgasms for the both of you, so he’d be just getting started. the two of you can go round after round, night after night, so this wouldn’t exactly pan out well unless you had at least a few hours to spare.
⭑.ᐟ r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
he’d be pretty game to experiment with some new things, especially when they involve you and sex (which duh of course so yes absolutely). for anything purely exhibitionist or just plain nasty, he definitely wouldn’t bring it up or want to try it and same for you, but other than that he’d be open to a lot of new things to try out.
ahem, for instance anal play while he fucks you. uh yes please. or even spanking with different toys that would mark up that gorgeous ass of yours and say that he did it to you and you loved it.
⭑.ᐟ s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
his stamina is genuinely insane but you do a pretty good job of keeping up with him. like seriously the man can go for hours upon hours without getting tired thanks to the years of dancing and the stamina that it has given him in turn. he won’t get tired after hours of dancing plus hours of fucking. your personal record for rounds is like seven or eight but that was after an adrenaline filled night when the boys won the daesang at one of the biggest k-pop award shows in asia. on a regular night after ni-ki gets home from work or random rehearsals, you average about four rounds give or take.
however, you’re genuinely so attractive to him that he can bust a nut in anywhere from five minutes to thirty minutes. those rounds where he tries to hold it for longer really impress both him and you because you tend to make each other cum fairly quickly, but a lot of times after another.
⭑.ᐟ t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
ni-ki doesn’t actually own any toys and he hasn’t anytime in his life so far. he’s always been seen as the baby to his members until when the two of you started getting a little more careless to when you were vocal while fucking around the dorm or any hotels that they’re all staying at. he just never had the correct timing to get any, plus he always felt like what he did for himself or for you was working without having to buy a toy to help.
he does think that it might be a bit fun to experiment with some toys like a paddle or cock ring or even a vibrator for you in the future, but right now he’s pretty satisfied with his sex life without them. (all he would have to do though is walk right next door to heeseung’s room and the older man would surely have something to share, that’s for sure).
⭑.ᐟ u = unfair (how much they like to tease)
in a perfect world, ni-ki would love to tease you some to work you up before the foreplay and fucking even started, but he is not the patient saint he is in his dreams of playing with you. he just gets far too worked up far too quickly and if he doesn’t get his dick in your hole quick enough, his cock will tell his brain that it’s going to fall off without being in that warm, wet heaven of your pussy.
but if he was at least somewhat patient, he’d love to just blow on your clit and folds as he gently teased his fingers around your core, teasing you with his light touch as he watched your hole clench and leak slick as you begged him for more and more. honestly he could probably cum in his pants just at the sight and sound of that.
⭑.ᐟ v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
ni-ki can actually be pretty loud, but he doesn’t realize it until the hyungs or you mention it. he lets out deep, breathy moans that turn into higher-pitched, airy whines as he gets closer and closer to cumming, and you love those noises so much. in fact, they fuel the noises that you let out, which is what he’s only paying attention to. he certainly contributes to the noise complaints that you get, but he absolutely wants your noises to be the start of the show whether or not that’s actually true based on what can be heard outside of the room.
⭑.ᐟ w = wild card (a random thing about them)
once, ni-ki had been considering asking heeseung to have a threesome with you two. he’d heard quite a few things about how talented he was and wanted to use that to make you feel even more pleasure than he could give, but you talked him out of it since it was becoming an obsession of his that turned his thoughts against his incredible pleasuring skills instead. you told him that you could talk about it later, when ni-ki was more self-confident in himself and less selfless about his pleasure because you wanted him to want it for himself too, not just you.
⭑.ᐟ x = x-ray (let's see what's going on in those pants...how big are they?)
as they say, with height comes big dick and ni-ki is definitely a human embodiment of it. he’s around eight inches hard (20 cm for the metric people) and he’s pretty girthy too, although the length is what outdoes most other dicks. it’s a pretty big stretch for you still, even after a year and a half of being intimate with one another, but he’s just the right size to make the stretch oh so worth it. you’re often sore after a night with him, but it’s a good sore left from feeling so full and satisfied from him.
⭑.ᐟ y = yearning (how high is their sex drive? how often do they wanna do it?)
if this man could have sex with you twice a day every day, multiple rounds every time, he would. he is just that pent up and horny and he loves your body and you so so much. you are his stress relief and intimate partner and he would rather have nobody else. if you didn’t want to fuck, he’d respect your boundaries and tuck you into bed or send you on your way wherever you had to go, but you bet he’d be jerking it in the shower for at least thirty minutes after doing that.
⭑.ᐟ z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
he can fall asleep pretty quickly after you two wrap up the hours of sex that you love to have during the late evening, but that’s because it’s also how he purposefully tires himself out and makes the both of you feel so pleasured and satisfied at the same time. ni-ki does his best to stay awake at least to give you some aftercare like getting up and grabbing a damp cloth to clean you up in between your legs and getting you up sometimes to make sure you go pee and avoid any UTIs, but otherwise he’s out as soon as he gets the chance to lay back and snuggle up with you. he doesn’t mind at all the sticky sweat that’s cooling on your bodies since you two always shower it off in the morning, so nothing keeps him from falling into slumber once the little bit of aftercare he knows he needs to give you is done.
✦ Pairing: Cortis James x Reader! Creative director x Stylist!
✦synopsis: As Cortis James's main stylist, you're used to fixing his
fits and dealing with his late-night chaos. But James doesn't
care about professional boundaries. When a late-night fitting after Milan
show locks the two of you in a hotel room, all that tension finally
snaps behind closed doors.
✦ Genre: MDNI ♰ explicit (18+) ♰ smut ♰ workplace romance ♰ fashion AU
✦ Word Count: (got too lazy)
✦ Warnings : Unprotected sex ♰teasing ♰ oral ♰ fingering ♰ etc.
PUBLISHING ON 1st AUGUST.
✦this story was inspired by Pharrell Williams and Asap Rocky's song fashion killa.
🏷️ : light jealousy, playful teasing, clinginess, physical affection (hugs, hand holding,cuddling), protective boyfriend behavior, mentions of flirting, comfort, established relationship, lots of fluff, cheesy boyfriend behavior.
❤︎ : hey guys ik im supposed to be posting the pt2 for that seonghyeon story but like it’s taking me sooo long to think of anything idk if i even wanna finish it im so unmotivated help, also seonghyeon headcons coming soon for my lovely moot that requested ( I didn’t forget abt you queen I swear).
bf!james : who absolutely melts whenever you play with his hair. He’ll pretend he’s still watching the movie, but within five minutes his eyes are closed and he’s leaning into your hand like it’s the most relaxing thing in the world. If you stop, he’ll mumble, “…why’d you stop?” without even opening his eyes.
bf!james : who randomly sends you pictures throughout the day with absolutely zero context. A cloud shaped like a heart. His coffee. A cat sleeping outside. A blurry selfie where half his face is missing. When you ask why he sent them, he simply replies, “Wanted you to see what I’m seeing.”
bf!james : who always notices the tiny things. You tied your hair differently? He noticed. You switched perfumes? He noticed. You’re quieter than usual? He noticed before you even realized it yourself. He’ll gently bump your shoulder and ask, “You okay?” because he can somehow read you better than anyone else.
bf!james : who loves stealing little moments with you. Waiting for the elevator? He’s holding your hand. Standing in line? He’s leaning against your shoulder. Walking together? Somehow your fingers are already intertwined before you even realize it.
bf!james : who playfully argues over absolutely everything just to hear you defend yourself. “Brownies only taste better with vanilla ice cream.” “It literally doesn’t.” “Convince me.” He isn’t trying to win. He just loves watching you get animated while explaining your point.
bf!james : who immediately reaches for your hand whenever you look overwhelmed in crowded places. He doesn’t make a big deal out of it. He just quietly threads his fingers through yours and gently leads you through the crowd, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze every few steps.
bf!james : who secretly loves when you wear his hoodies or just his clothes overall, Every single time he notices one missing, he already knows where it went. Instead of asking for it back, he’ll grin and say, “Guess I have to come see you if I ever want that hoodie back.”
bf!james : who cannot stay fake mad at you for more than five minutes. You’ll catch him trying to keep a serious face, only for him to crack the second you smile at him. “…Don’t do that.” “Do what?” “…Be cute when I’m trying to be upset.”
bf!james : who always walks you to your door, even if it’s late and even if he has somewhere to be. He waits until you’re safely inside before leaving, and without fail, your phone lights up thirty seconds later.
Author’s note : FUCKKKK this was a request but the app tweaked and it’s gone now.. anon, hope you’ll be able to stumble upon it still. Not comfortable writing smut so that’s for now
The front door of their little house clicked shut behind them, sealing out the last of the afternoon light and the distant hum of well-wishers still lingering near the church. James set the small overnight bag down carefully, then turned to face you. His dark hair was slightly mussed from the drive, the white collar of his shirt open at the throat where he had loosened his tie the moment they left the parking lot. A faint flush colored his cheeks, and his eyes, usually so steady, held a quiet, almost disbelieving heat.
“We’re home,” he said, voice low. “For good.”
You stood in the entryway, still in your simple ivory dress, the soft fabric brushing your knees. Your braids rested neat against your shoulders and back, the ends brushing the fabric when you moved. The house smelled of lemon polish and the faint sweetness of the peonies James had brought home two days earlier, now arranged in a glass vase on the side table. Late sunlight filtered through the half-drawn curtains, laying long gold bars across the hardwood floor. Everything felt both familiar and brand new, as if the walls themselves were holding their breath.
James stepped closer. His hands found yours, fingers threading together. “You look beautiful,” he murmured. “All day I kept thinking I must be dreaming. Then I’d catch your eye during the vows and know I wasn’t. Kept thinking about getting you back here. Getting my hands on you properly.”
You gave a small smile. “I kept waiting for someone to stand up and say there’d been a mistake.”
“No mistake.” He lifted one of your hands and pressed a slow kiss to your knuckles, then turned your wrist and kissed the soft inside of it. “You’re my wife. I’m your husband. That’s the truth of it now. And I’ve been waiting all day to show you what that means.”
The words settled between you like something solid and warm. James’s gaze drifted to the small gold band on your finger, then back to your face. He reached up and gently touched one of your braids, his fingertips lingering against your cheek afterward before sliding down to rest at the side of your neck, thumb stroking the pulse there.
“Come here,” he said.
He guided you into the living room, where the old couch waited beneath the open window. A soft breeze stirred the sheer curtains. Outside, a neighbor’s wind chime rang faintly. James sat first, then drew you down beside him, close enough that your knee brushed his. For a moment neither of you spoke. The quiet of the house wrapped around you both. No guests, no cameras, no toasts left to make. Just the two of you and the soft tick of the clock on the mantel.
James’s thumb traced slow circles over the back of your hand, then higher, along the inside of your wrist. “I kept thinking about this part,” he admitted, voice rougher now. “The drive home. Walking through that door with you. Having you all to myself. Wondering how long I’d last before I got to touch you like I’ve been wanting to.”
“Me too.” Your voice was steady. “I kept wondering what it would feel like. To be alone with you like this. Really alone.”
He turned more fully toward you, one arm resting along the back of the couch, the other already sliding to your waist. “And? What does it feel like?”
You met his eyes without looking away. “Like I can finally breathe.”
A small smile curved his mouth, but there was heat under it. He leaned in and kissed you, gentle at first, almost careful. The kiss deepened quickly, his lips warm and sure against yours, tongue brushing yours with quiet intent. One of his hands came up to cradle the side of your face, the other settling firmer at your waist, fingers pressing into the fabric. You felt the solid heat of him through the thin layers, the steady rise and fall of his chest. When he drew back just enough to speak, his breath brushed your cheek, warmer now.
“I’ve wanted to do that all day,” he said. “Properly. Without an audience. Wanted to get my mouth on you and keep it there.”
You answered by kissing him again. This time the kiss held more urgency, more of the long day of waiting. James’s hand slid from your waist to the small of your back, drawing you closer until there was almost no space left between you. The soft fabric of your dress whispered against his shirt. Outside, a car passed on the quiet street. Inside, the only sound was the quiet catch of breath between kisses.
James’s mouth trailed from your lips to the corner of your jaw, then lower, brushing the sensitive skin just below your ear. He nipped lightly there, then soothed it with his tongue. You felt him smile against you when your breath hitched.
“That okay?” he asked, voice roughened.
“Yeah.”
He kissed the same spot again, slower this time, then found your mouth once more. The kiss grew deeper, hungrier. His fingers traced the line of your spine through the dress, pausing at the small buttons that ran down the back, then sliding lower to rest at the curve of your hip, squeezing once. He didn’t rush. He simply held you, kissed you, let the heat build in the quiet room until the air itself felt charged. When his hand came back up to cup the side of your breast through the fabric, it was deliberate, testing, thumb brushing slow over the peak.
When he finally drew back, his eyes were darker, his breathing uneven. “We don’t have to hurry anything,” he said. “We’ve got the rest of our lives. But I want you to know I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you right now. I want to learn every sound you make. Want to feel you under me. Want to take my time undoing every button and then take even longer with the rest.”
You rested your forehead against his. “I feel the same. It’s new for me too. All of this.”
Understanding passed between you without needing more words. James’s hand came up to cup your cheek again, thumb stroking gently over the warm brown of your skin, then down to your bottom lip. “Then we take it slow. We learn each other. There’s no one else here but us. But I’m not going to pretend I haven’t been thinking about this. About getting you out of this dress. About what you’re going to feel like when it’s just us.”
He kissed you once more, long and thorough, until the last of the day’s formality melted away. When the kiss broke, he stood and offered his hand. You took it. Together you walked through the soft afternoon light toward the hallway that led to the bedroom you now shared. The door stood half open, the white curtains already stirring in the breeze from the open window. The bed was made with the pale blue sheets James had chosen the week before, the ones he said looked like the sky after rain.
At the threshold he paused and turned to you again. His free hand found the small of your back, then slid lower, resting possessively. “Still with me?”
“Always.”
He smiled, that quiet, private smile that belonged only to you now, edged with something hungrier. Then he guided you inside, closing the door softly behind you both. The room smelled faintly of clean cotton and the lavender soap you’d left on the dresser that morning. Sunlight pooled on the floorboards. James’s hands settled at your waist, warm and steady, then pulled you flush against him so you could feel exactly how much he wanted this. Hard against your stomach. Unapologetic.
“I’ve imagined this moment a hundred times,” he murmured against your braids. “Coming home with you. Having the whole night ahead of us. Learning what makes you sigh, what makes you smile like that. What makes you grip the sheets.” His lips brushed your temple, then lower, along your jaw. “I want to take my time with you. Every button. Every kiss. I want to make sure you feel how much I love you. And how badly I’ve been wanting to get inside you.”
You turned in his arms so you could see his face. The late light caught the gold in his eyes. “I already do,” you said. “But I want to feel it again. And again.”
James’s laugh was soft, almost reverent, but his hands were already sliding up your back to the first of those small buttons. “Good. Because I plan on making you feel it all night.” He kissed you once more, deeper this time, the fabric shifting under his fingers as he worked the first button free. Outside, the wind chime sang again. Inside, the only world that mattered was the quiet space between your bodies, the shared breath, the promise of the long evening still unfolding.
He paused, forehead resting against yours. “Tell me if you want me to stop. Or slow down. Or anything at all.”
“I won’t want you to stop,” you said. “Not tonight.”
James’s eyes closed for a moment, as if the words had settled deep. When he opened them again, the look he gave you held equal parts tenderness and heat. “Then let me take care of you,” he said. “Let me show you how it feels to be mine. Properly. Completely. For the first time. I want to taste you. Want to feel you open up for me. Want to hear what you sound like when I finally get to have you.”
His mouth found yours again, and the kiss carried everything the day had built. The vows, the drive home, the quiet of the empty house. Hands moved with careful purpose, but there was no hesitation now. The soft sounds of fabric shifting filled the room as more buttons came undone. Somewhere beyond the window a bird called once and fell silent. The light continued its slow golden slide across the floor.
James guided you gently toward the bed, never breaking the kiss for long. When the backs of your knees met the mattress he eased you down, following, bracing his weight so he wouldn’t crush you. The sheets were cool against your bare shoulders. His body was warm above yours, hard where he pressed against you. One of his hands traced the line of your arm from wrist to elbow, then higher, as if memorizing the shape of you. Your braids spread across the pillow behind you. His other hand slid down your side, over the curve of your hip, and stayed there, gripping.
He rolled his hips once, slow and deliberate, the hard length of him grinding against you through the remaining layers of clothing. The friction was sharp and sweet. He did it again, deeper this time, watching your face the whole while.
“You’re steady,” he murmured, almost to himself. “Even now. Makes me want to see how long that lasts.”
“So are you. Mostly.”
He smiled against your mouth, then kissed deeper, rolling his hips again so you could feel every inch of him. The dry drag of fabric between you, the heat building with every slow grind. “Guilty. I’ve never done this either. Not with anyone who mattered. Not like this.” His voice dropped lower. “I want it to be good for you. I want to get it right. Want to take you apart slow and put you back together. Want to be the first and the only one who gets to know what you feel like when you’re mine. Want to push inside you and stay there until you forget everything else.”
You lifted a hand to his cheek. “We will. Together.”
James kissed the palm of your hand, then your wrist, then the soft inside of your elbow. Each touch was deliberate, unhurried, but there was an edge to it now, a promise. He kept moving against you, slow grinds that made the bed creak faintly, the pressure building between your bodies until it felt almost unbearable. The air thickened with shared breath and the quiet rustle of clothing being set aside piece by piece. When at last there was nothing left but skin and the fading light, James rested his forehead against yours once more, one hand sliding between your thighs with careful intent, fingers finding the heat of you.
“I love you,” he said, voice rough. “I’m going to keep saying it until you get tired of hearing it. And I’m going to keep touching you until you forget how to say anything else. Want to feel you take me. Want to be the first one inside you. Want to move with you until neither of us can think straight.”
“I won’t get tired of it.”
He smiled, and the smile turned into another kiss, deeper, slower, full of the promise of everything still to come. Outside, the first hints of evening began to cool the air. Inside your shared home, the two of you moved together with the careful wonder of people who knew they were discovering something entirely new, something that belonged only to them, and would for the rest of their lives.
❝ — Se havia algo que te irritava profundamente, era o fato de que James era um curioso por natureza.❞
→ 𝑨𝑽𝑰𝑺𝑶𝑺: james!bf, ele é meio sub e inseguro, james nerdola e virjolinha, reader experiente, alerta de homem dependente e ciumentinho, overstimulation, dumbufication, sexo sem proteção (cuidado, galerinha), dirty talk, creampie, uso de apelidos melosos como “bebê”, praising kink, cum control, etc.
→ 𝑵𝑶𝑻𝑨𝑺: demorou, mas finalmente trouxemos pra cá! isso já tem quase dois meses e nós ainda não superamos esse loirinho, affs.
Você e James estavam namorando há um bom tempo. E hoje à noite finalmente tinham o dormitório só para vocês pela primeira vez, já que a maioria dos membros do grupo dele haviam voltado para a casa de suas famílias durante o final de semana. Por isso o lugar estava mais silencioso do que o normal, com apenas o som baixo da TV e algumas risadas ocasionais preenchendo a sala de estar mal iluminada.
Era uma das suas noites típicas juntos, que normalmente passavam no seu apartamento quando ele não estava tão ocupado. Ficaram horas jogando, discutindo por coisas idiotas, assistindo episódios repetidos do anime que James havia descoberto recentemente e brincando, como sempre. Às vezes ficavam super competitivos com algum joguinho idiota, outras vezes se distraíam completamente e começavam a falar de bobagens ou acontecimentos durante a semana, jogando conversa fora.
Era sempre divertido, e parecia melhor ainda agora. Sem mencionar que seu namorado resolveu se tornar um recém loirinho nos últimos dias, após uma ideia de te fazer uma surpresinha agradável. Surpresa essa que te deixou num estado tão transigente que não se reconhecia mais, e por isso estava num estado ridículo de contenção. Tão burrinha, burrinha e estúpida!
Entretanto, não havia o que temer. A relação de vocês costumava ser pura, apesar de tudo. Não passavam dos beijos, e às vezes corriam sim algumas mãozinhas bobas aqui e ali, mas nunca chegaram a transar, nem nada do tipo. Isso costumava não te incomodar, e de fato não incomoda, mas durante os últimos tempos havia virado uma pedrinha irritante no seu sapato. E irritante porque agora você queria transar com ele. Toda maldita hora.
Isso se deve ao fato de que normalmente não precisavam de grandes planos, velas ou declarações elaboradas para ficarem satisfeitos com a presença um do outro. Sobretudo, aquela bagunça gostosa de risadas, zoações e silêncios tranquilos era, de longe, o seu tipo de noite favorita com ele.
Além de que, nunca haviam tocado nesse assunto. Porém, ultimamente percebia que seu namorado citava isso de maneira indireta. Não com palavras, e sim com toques, insinuações tão implícitas que te confundiu nos primeiros dias. Fosse disfarçando com abraços inocentes à primeira vista e se forçando contra você contra qualquer lugar oportuno logo após, passando do limite correto dos beijos fogosos que trocavam quase sempre, ou até mesmo se oferecendo descaradamente para te ajudar a tomar banho.
Merda, James.
Achava que iria enlouquecer com esses métodos indiretos, e não de forma figurada. Nem sabia como deveria reagir em todas as vezes, afinal. Aceitaria? Sim. Mas o que disse? Não.
E se arrependia toda vez que pensava nisso. Por que não simplesmente disse sim? Aposta que não dormiria frustrada após inutilmente tentar substituir o namorado visivelmente faminto pelos seus dedinhos pequenos.
Até que, há pouquíssimos segundos, completamente do nada, o rumo da conversa mudou de anime do ano para hentai. Obra do destino? Impossível.
“Você sabe que algumas cenas de hentai são tão absurdas que é difícil imaginar alguém fazendo aquilo na vida real, né?” Os olhos dele brilhavam com diversão enquanto te olhava. Ele claramente tinha segundas intenções com essa mudança de assunto.
“Tipo o quê?” você perguntou, realmente desentendida, sentada confortavelmente no sofá esticado, mastigando uma porção de batatinhas enquanto o anime continuava rolando baixinho na tela da tevê.
Ele se aproximou mais por baixo das cobertas com um sorrisinho malicioso no rosto, roubando uma batatinha do seu pacote.
“Tipo… posições que desafiam a gravidade. Como as garotas conseguem se dobrar assim?” Ele riu, até então descontraído, mas os olhos demoraram um segundo a mais em você, mastigando lentamente. “E você? Já assistiu algum?”
“E-Eu?” você quase engasgou com o salgadinho, olhando incrédula para ele enquanto abaixava a mão devagar após notar que havia apontado para si mesma.
“É, amor, você. Já assistiu hentai? Ou… sei lá, qualquer tipo de pornô?” A voz dele ficou mais baixa, mais íntima, enquanto ele chegava ainda mais perto, quase encostando os joelhos nos seus. “Tô curioso. Você gosta de ver esse tipo de coisa?” Ele roubou mais uma batatinha, a sobrancelha bem desenhada ficando arqueada. Droga, ele realmente estava interessado.
“Uhm…” você hesitou, os dedos brincando com a embalagem amassada enquanto tentava ignorar o calor subindo pelo seu rosto. Ele sorriu ao notar sua hesitação.
“Você tá corando, que fofa.” Ele se inclinou mais sobre você, não tão sutil dessa vez. “Vai, somos só nós dois. Sem julgamentos, prometo.” Os dedos dele roçaram de propósito na sua coxa. “Já assistiu algo… com duas pessoas fazendo coisas adultas?”
“Ó-óbvio que já! Todo mundo já assistiu, né?” Você soltou defensivamente, finalmente olhando pra ele com um biquinho estarrecido nos lábios sujinhos, não sabendo ao certo o que te deixava tão acanhada.
“Claro, claro.” Ele arrastou as palavras, o sorrisinho maroto crescendo com a sua reação envergonhada. “Então minha namoradinha fofa curte hentai? Talvez até tenha tirado umas ideias…” A mão dele subiu mais pela sua coxa, provocando. “E de que tipo de coisa você gosta? Suave? Mais bruto? Ou talvez… algo mais no meio?”
Você revirou os olhos e tirou a mão dele da sua coxa, o olhando um tanto desconfiada. “O que você tá querendo, hein?” James ficou em silêncio por um tempo, sem se ofender, segurando seu pulso e te puxando para mais perto, mesmo contra sua vontade.
“Nada, nada. Só tô curioso ‘pra saber o que deixa minha garota excitada.” O polegar dele fazia círculos no seu pulso enquanto ele te olhava com uma intensidade meio brincalhona. “Mas agora você me deixou pensando… se eu tentasse algumas dessas posições ridículas com você, será que você se dobraria pra mim?”
“James!” você o repreendeu, olhando feio pra ele enquanto apertava a almofada contra o peito como um escudo, nervosinha.
“Que foi? Eu só tô perguntando! Perguntar não ofende.” Ele riu, soltando seu pulso, mas deixando a mão na sua coxa, inquieta. “Poxa, princesa, estamos sozinhos aqui e não tem ninguém em casa, pode relaxar comigo.”
“Não tô desconfortável, Jami.” Uniu as perninhas, mas se arrepende logo no mesmo instante, sentindo algo melado te incomodar. Seu namorado parece ter notado, já que levantou um olhar curioso. “E-Eu só não esperava, tipo… agora.”
“E isso te deixa nervosa? Estamos só falando de hentai, linda.” A mão dele persistiu, traçando um caminho perigoso conforme abaixava o tom, tão melodioso quanto persuasivo. “Mas não precisa ficar acanhada, gatinha. Eu sou seu namorado, lembra?”
“E daí?” Você questionou, receosa pelo teor da pergunta, inconscientemente chegando mais perto do seu namorado, atraída pela maneira estúpida que a luz fria iluminava cada detalhe másculo do rosto dele e a droga do cabelo. Inferno!
“E daí que já estamos namorando há um tempo…” As falanges dele apertaram de leve sua coxa, sutil, dois dedinhos abaixo da barra do seu shortinho. Dois dedinhos seus. “Você já pensou em…”
Ele se aproximou ainda mais, o hálito quente roçando na sua orelha com lentidão.
“…como seria fazer mais do que só beijar? Tipo… transar de verdade?” A mão na sua coxa subiu devagar, os dedos apertando possessivamente no caminho até a sua virilha, quase na braguilha. “Você deixaria?”
“Eu… eu deixaria, sim.” você admitiu baixinho, engolindo em seco enquanto as palavras dele te puxavam para um torpor que nem tinha percebido que estava caindo. Seu coração batia absurdamente rápido com o jeito carnívoro que ele te olhava, sentindo que as coisas sairiam do controle se não interviesse logo. “S-só não agora!” você voltou atrás imediatamente, quase entrando em pânico por milhões de besteirinhas fúteis.
Ele inclinou a cabeça, estudando seu rosto com curiosidade. “Só não agora… ou nunca?”
De repente, James segurou seu pulso com carinho e te puxou para o colo dele antes que você pudesse protestar direito. Um gritinho assustado escapou dos seus lábios enquanto você quase soltava a almofada, caindo sentadinha em algo não tão macio. “Porque você acabou de dizer que deixaria, amor. Não pode voltar atrás agora, palavra é palavra.”
“Ei!” você exclamou, segurando nos ombros dele pra se equilibrar, o olhando com curiosidade exacerbada, uma vez que não conseguia fazer sua mente pensar em algo que não fosse o que te cutucava bem no seu meinho já arruinado. “O que você tá’ fazendo?”
Os braços fortes dele envolveram sua cintura possessivamente, te mantendo parada no colo dele.
“Me diz, linda. Se não for agora, quando? Porque tenho certeza que a minha cama é perfeita ‘pra… praticar.” As mãos dele desceram e beliscaram seus quadris, só para te ganhar no papo.
Você soltou uma risadinha nervosa, evitando os olhos dele por um segundo. “Eu ainda preciso pensar, tá bom?” murmurou baixinho, não exatamente envergonhada.
“Pensar?” ele repetiu, achando graça. “Tá’ me dizendo que a minha namorada nunca pensou em me deixar foder ela? Nem uma vezinha?” Fez um biquinho falsamente chateado, os polegares dele fazendo círculos preguiçosos nos ossos do seu quadril. “Você é mesmo inocente, né?” Ele deu um beijinho suave no seu pescoço, soltando um risinho que te arrepiou. “Fofa.”
“Bem… e-e você já fez antes?” perguntou com cuidado, a curiosidade escapando antes que pudesse segurar.
Ele parou, as mãos imóveis nos seus quadris por um momento. “Não.” A palavra foi honesta, sem provocação dessa vez. “Nunca encontrei alguém que realmente me fizesse querer ir até o fim.” Ele se afastou um pouco para te olhar nos olhos, o jeito brincalhão dando lugar a algo mais vulnerável dentro dele. “E você? Algum ex que…”
“Talvez. Com meus ex’s.” Seu queixo tremeu, observando a reação dele com cuidado. “Tá’ bravo?” Ele piscou, surpreso por meio segundo, antes de um sorrisinho se espalhar devagar no rosto.
“Bravo? Por que eu ficaria bravo?” Ele apertou os braços ao redor da sua cintura, te puxando e colando mais contra o próprio peito. “Só significa que você sabe o que ‘tá fazendo… ou que eu vou ter que fazer melhor.” Ele beijou seu biquinho involuntário. “Detalhes, bebê. Me dá detalhes.”
“Jami, você acabou de me dizer que não tem experiência!” você riu, erguendo a sobrancelha logo após, brincando de apertar a borda da camisa dele.
“E?” Ele deu de ombros, despreocupado. “Eu aprendo rápido.” As mãos dele voltaram a passear, apertando sua bunda possessivamente, te arrancando um gemidinho esganiçado que não passou despercebido pelo loiro. “Sabe disso…”
Suas perninhas bambeiam por meio segundo, numa vontade traiçoeira de fechá-las quando um incômodo surgiu bem no centro, de novo.
“Então? De quantos ex’s estamos falando?” Diminuiu o tom de voz, bradando ao questionar de maneira mais afável, querendo uma resposta sua. “Dois? Três?” Ele mordeu seu lábio inferior, as orbes escuras te analisando. “Me dá um número.”
“Dois.” você respondeu casualmente, ainda se recuperando do último comentário dele.
“Dois.” Ele repetiu, os dedos traçando padrões nas suas costas. “E você fodeu com os dois? Trepou com eles de verdade?” Havia um tom diferente na voz dele agora — não raiva, mas algo como ciúme e necessidade de possessão. “Me conta. Qual foi melhor?”
“Não é uma competição sobre quem é melhor que quem, James.” você riu sem graça, dando um tapinha leve no ombro dele. “Mas por que você nunca fez antes?”
“Porque eu tava’ ocupado.” Ele suspirou, revirando os olhos em concessão. “Você sabe que eu fui trainee por anos. Não tinha tempo pra’ garotas, e muito menos ‘pra… todo o resto. Além disso, eu estava esperando a pessoa certa.” Os olhos dele encontraram os seus novamente, sérios dessa vez. “E agora eu encontrei.”
Você sorriu sozinha, notando o biquinho emburrado ainda no rosto dele. “Você parece bravo, Jami.” provocou num tom baixinho, soando mais afrontosa do que gostaria.
Ele fez uma careta imediatamente, fingindo estar ofendido. “Eu não tô bravo.” Beliscou sua bochecha. “Eu só… ‘tô processando. Minha namorada inocente tem mais experiência que eu.” Ele se jogou de costas na cama, te arrastando junto num suspiro dramático. “Isso tá ferindo meu ego, bebê. Você era pra’ ser purinha.”
“Isso é maldade! Por que justamente eu e não você?” reclama com manha, tentando esconder o riso enquanto ele te mantinha presa contra o peito.
“Tô’ brincando!” Ele riu, envolvendo você com os braços novamente, o encaixe perfeito te deixando mais molenga. “Mas falando sério, dois ex’s que realmente chegaram a… Você gostou com eles? Eles eram… bons?” O garoto engoliu em seco, apertando sua cintura num gesto vacilante.
“Sim, porque eu gostava deles de verdade na época.” você respondeu honestamente, o timbre mais suave, já notando a pontinha de insegurança na voz do garoto.
“Gostava.” Ele enfatizou o tempo passado, algo cru piscando em sua direção antes dele mascarar com o sorrisinho de sempre. “Então você não ama mais eles, né? Ótimo. Porque eu não queria competir com o seu passado.” A mão dele subiu por baixo da sua camisa, os dedos gelados roçando em sua pele nua sem medo de demonstrar as intenções. “Mas eu tenho uma pergunta.”
“Sim?” Ergue os olhinhos, unindo as sobrancelhas em curiosidade.
“Quem era melhor na cama? O primeiro ou o segundo?” Ele perguntou, direto, as pernas te prendendo com mais firmeza, como se não pretendesse te soltar antes de obter uma resposta.
“Uhm… posso dizer nenhum?”
Ele ergueu uma sobrancelha. “Nenhum?” repetiu, confuso, insatisfeito com a resposta. “Então você tá’ dizendo que os dois eram ruins na cama? Fala a verdade, bebê, não precisa mentir ‘pra mim.”
“Olhando agora não me interessa mais, amor.” Foi sincera, não falhando no tom decidido. Nem mesmo aquela conversa parecia ser capaz de cessar seus pensamentos sujinhos. “Só… podemos parar de falar dos meus ex’s?”
Num piscar de olhos, imediatamente a expressão dele amoleceu. James te puxou mais para perto, esfregando o nariz no seu pescoço como quem pedia desculpas. “Tá’ bom, tá’ bom. Chega de falar dos seus ex’s, me desculpa.” Beijou seu pescoço com carinho, ficando quietinho demais para quem já havia terminado. “Mas posso perguntar mais uma coisinha? A última, prometo.”
“Hm?”
“Se a gente fizer isso… transar de verdade, você vai me comparar com eles na sua mente?” A voz dele estava suave demais, quase vulnerável, um medo tão palpável que te deixava mal. “Eu seria melhor? Pior?” Ele mordeu o lábio, esperando ansioso.
“Não sei.” Pausa, os poucos segundos em silêncio te dando uma ideia mais do que perfeita. “É algo que ainda vamos descobrir.” Então, você empurrou seu namorado de vez contra o sofá e prendeu as mãos dele no acolchoado macio. James soltou um gemido baixo quando caiu no colchão, a olhando com os olhos arregalados enquanto você prendia dramaticamente as mãos dele sobre a cabeça. “Você faz pergunta demais...”
“Ei! O que você—” A pergunta dele morreu num gemido quando você montou em cima sobre ele, bem onde o garoto tentava esconder. “Amor, o que você tá fazendo?”
Você interrompeu ele no meio da frase, se inclinando rápido e o tomando num beijo sedento para calar a insatisfação de uma não resposta. Ele imediatamente derreteu na sua boca, arqueando o corpo contra o seu e abrindo os lábios para te deixar entrar de boa vontade, as mãos apressadas a puxando pelas costas como se fosse incontrolável. A língua dele, quente e intrusa, se enroscou na sua, permitindo que o beijo ficasse cada vez mais quente, bagunçado, molhado e imundo.
Inconscientemente, ele empurrou os quadris para cima, forçando a ereção latejante contra o seu calor, as mãos lutando contra seu aperto numa mistura de noção e insanidade, desesperado para te tocar.
E quando encaixou sua intimidade quentinha no volume exigente, ele soltou o gemidinho mais adorável do mundo, te deixando ainda mais fissurada no garoto. “Mmph… porra.” Nunca imaginou que ele fosse desse tipo.
Você se afastou devagar, a respiração ainda irregular e ruidosa, e passou as mãos nos cabelos recém tingidos dele, os retirando da testa levemente úmida. Queria ver o rostinho manhoso do seu namorado. James ficou quietinho sob seu toque, os olhos suavizando enquanto te deixava fazer tudo o que quisesse — e até mais —, todas as provocações e perguntas infinitas desaparecendo em questão de segundos.
“Nenhum dos meus ex’s tinha um rosto como o seu.” você disse baixinho, quase como um segredo, um sorrisinho bobo se formando conforme via o brilho nos olhinhos dele aumentar, deixando um beijinho doce na pontinha do nariz dele “E nem o amor que eu sinto por você.”
Os olhos dele se tornaram escuros e enevoados em uma mistura de tesão e paixão, o peito subindo e descendo rápido abaixo de você, tentando soltar as mãos sem sucesso. “Se você continuar falando assim, eu vou explodir de verdade.” Ele empurrou os quadris pra cima novamente, a voz saindo mais dengosa do que gostaria. O pau já estava dolorosamente endurecido contra sua buceta coberta. “Isso… conta com o meu corpo?”
“Amor.” você sorriu amorosa, tocada com a necessidade insegura dele. “Depende. Me deixa ver?” Segurou a barra da camisa dele e puxou devagar para cima, somente esperando que ele concordasse.
Ele levantou os braços na hora para te ajudar, deixando você retirar o tecido incômodo e jogá-la de lado. Com o torso nu, ele flexionou o abdômen sem nem perceber, sensível ao calor insuportável que seu íntimo transmitia, o que era totalmente novo para ele.
“E-E aí?” Ele ergueu uma sobrancelha, olhando pra você com expectativa enquanto tentava controlar os impulsos do próprio corpo.
“Você é bem mais gostoso que qualquer um deles, amor.” Você murmurou, as mãos traçando o baixo ventre dele. Os músculos do garoto tremiam com seu toque, a respiração ficando mais pesada enquanto te observava tocar cada pedacinho com adoração palpável. “Você é tão lindo… tão meu.”
“Porra.” Ele gemeu, tomado pelo agrado que era te ouvir elogiá-lo daquela maneira. Os quadris se movendo desesperadamente contra os seus novamente. “Po… Posso perguntar outra coisa?”
“Pode, meu amor.”
“Você vai me deixar te despir também… ou vou ter que implorar?” A voz dele ficou baixa, quase desesperada. “Mô… eu preciso te tocar, por favor.” Os quadris dele roçaram contra você de propósito.
“Você fica tão fofo pedindo permissão, sabia?” Sentou no quadril dele, mas ignorou o pedido por enquanto. Tirou a própria blusa devagar e sacudiu de levinho o próprio busto, sentindo o ar frio abraçar os mamilos arrebitadinhos pelo tesão eminente. Os olhos dele caíram imediatamente em seus seios, a língua passando pelos lábios secos sem pestanejar.
“Merda…” ele soltou, a boca entreaberta enquanto te olhava descaradamente. “Você é gostosa pra caralho.” Ele lutou contra seu aperto de novo, desesperado para tocar, ainda sem sucesso. “Amor… solta minhas mãos? Por favor.”
“Nada disso.” Você negou, malvada, apertando mais o pulso dele como um aviso.
Os olhos dele brilharam com frustração e desejo intenso. “Você tá’ me matando…” rosnou, tentando se soltar, mesmo sem te forçar. “Pelo menos deixa eu tocar nas suas pernas!”
James sendo um chorão daquele jeito estava bagunçando sua química cerebral. Sem se conter, você o beijou novamente enquanto desabotoava o cinto pesado dele. Ele gemeu na sua boca, os quadris se mexendo involuntariamente com o tilintar do couro, beijando sua boca com a mesma urgência e volúpia, a língua quente girando contra a sua.
E quando você terminou de tirar a calça dele, se afastou com muito custo dos lábios inchados do rapaz, que a olhou perdido no mesmo instante. “Mantenha as mãos onde eu consiga ver, hm?”
“Sim, amor. Prometo.” Ele sussurrou trêmulo, espalmando as mãos no colchão dos lados da cabeça, obedecendo. A respiração dele falhou quando você revelou o volume marcando a cueca melada com a pré-porra abundante. James mordeu o lábio com força, os olhos fortemente fechados. Ele estava absurdamente excitado.
Ele soltou um gemido estrangulado quando suas unhas arrastaram pela cintura sensível, o corpo inteiro tensionando enquanto você o expunha pela primeira vez diante dos próprios olhos. “Porra… porra, sim- obrigado, amor.” O pau dele saltou livre, duro, rosado e já babando, latejando acima da barriga durinha. Os quadris dele se mexendo ridiculamente em busca de alguma fricção.
E para ser sincera, acha que era o pau mais bonito que você já tinha visto. A cabecinha rosada jorrava tanto que a fazia salivar, faminta para provar o gostinho. Por isso começa a masturbar a extensão longa numa punheta apertadinha, já que estava tão curiosa a ponto de deixar de bancar a difícil e pagar o primeiro boquete merecido do seu garotinho. Mas só quase.
“Linda, por favor…” ele protesta.
“Obedece, James.”
James mordeu o lábio com força só para não implorar de novo, as coxas tremendo em pura contenção, as mãos ainda espalmadas como você mandou. Poxa, ele queria ser bom para você.
“Eu tô tentando… mas caralho, você tá’ me torturando muito. E a sua boca tá bem aí…”
“É?” você sorriu, as mãos ainda ao redor do pau dele, os dedos bem apertados. Os olhos dele desceram rápido para ver seu sorrisinho chulo.
“Quer um beijinho aqui?” Sem esperar uma resposta, deu o beijo mais suave possível na cabecinha babada. O corpo inteiro dele deu um solavanco violento, um gemido agudo e alto saindo da garganta dele. As mãos se fecharam em punhos nos lençóis, numa tentativa de não segurar seus cabelos. “Ah? Gostou disso, Jami?”
O peito dele subia e descia rápido, os olhos apertados. “S-sim… porra, sim…” O pau dele pulsou, ficando ainda mais duro na sua mão. “Por favor, dá mais um?”
“Claro, bebê.” Ele choramingou baixinho quando você deu outro beijinho na ponta judiada, que babujou ainda mais, carente. Os quadris subiram tentando alcançar sua boca, as mãos tremendo pelo esforço para ficar no mesmo lugar. Se sentia tão usado, e mesmo assim não conseguia parar de ficar duro. Que merda.
“Amor.” chamou, quase sem forças, temendo ficar sem qualquer toque seu.
Porém, sem aviso, você só o engoliu. Os olhos dele reviraram quando sua boca quente o envolveu, tão recheada com saliva que foi impossível se conter. Um gemido alto e quebrado saiu dos lábios dele, o corpo inteiro vibrando com o prazer eminente. “P-porra, sim… assim… meu Deus.” Os quadris dele começaram a se mover por instinto, fodendo devagar sua boca, com medo que parasse. “Isso é bom, porra...” As pernas dele começaram a tremer violentamente enquanto você o chupava mais fundo, a língua girando na cabecinha sensível como se fosse a coisa mais deliciosa do mundo. Mas era muito. James já sentia que ia gozar, o prazer sendo intenso demais para a primeira vez.
“Eu vou… eu vou gozar se você- por favor não para…” E sem se conter, gemeu ao redor dele. Amava como a voz do rapaz ficava ofegante e necessitada toda vez que o forçava garganta abaixo, cada ruído se intensificando mais ainda. Ele jogou a cabeça pra trás, gemendo enquanto você o chupava com mais afinco, gulosa. “Linda…”
Com um gemido arrastado, ele gozou forte na sua língua. O sêmen quente jorrou direto na sua garganta enquanto o corpo dele convulsionava pelo estímulo. As pernas dele envolveram sua cabeça instintivamente, te segurando no lugar enquanto ele terminava de gozar dentro da sua boca.
Engolindo tudo, você se afastou devagar, admirada com o fio de saliva que interligava a glande à sua boca. “Amor. Você ainda ‘tá me prendendo.” Você quis rir, admirada com a maneira que ele havia ficado destruído com tão pouco.
Os olhos perdidos dele focaram em você, as pernas te soltando imediatamente quando notou. “Merda, desculpa, eu-” Ele respirava pesado. “Linda, isso foi… você acabou de…” Ele puxou você pra cima enquanto tentava falar, te colocando de volta no colo dele com muito custo. “Eu… agora eu preciso te tocar, por favor.”
“Precisa?” Repetiu, surpresa com a iniciativa repentina. “E como você vai fazer isso?”
As mãos grandes dele subiram pelas suas coxas enquanto ele te olhava com aqueles olhos grandes e quase inocentes. “Posso… posso tocar na sua buceta?” perguntou timidamente, o rosto ruborizado ao morder o lábio vermelhinho. O pau dele já estava duro de novo, roçando bem no seu centro, quase na posição certa para entrar sem dificuldade. “Por favor?”
“Claro que pode, bebê.” James podia parecer maduro e masculino aos seus olhos, mas agora? Ele parecia tão inocente que chegava a doer.
“Obrigado, amor. Obrigado.” Ele suspirou aliviado com sua permissão, as mãos repleta de veias subindo dos seus joelhos até os dedos roçarem na sua bucetinha molhada, te arrancando um arfar baixo com o toque decidido. “Posso tirar sua calcinha?” Ele engoliu em seco, olhando para você feito um cachorrinho sem dono. Os dedos já estavam posicionados no elástico fino, apenas esperando a sua permissão.
“Não precisa pedir.” O tranquilizou, ansiosa pelo que viria a seguir. “Eu confio em você, Jami.”
Um sorrisinho suave surgiu nos lábios dele, e então os dedos longos deslizaram por baixo do tecido, puxando sua calcinha devagar e jogando-a de lado. Não precisou de muito. Ele te olhou com fome, agora completamente exposta e linda em cima dele, o seu cheirinho já invadindo todos os sentidos animalescos do seu namorado.
“Você tá' tão molhada…” murmurou, o polegar roçando de leve no seu clitóris, um pouco perdido, mas continuando quando te ouviu gemer fraquinho, contente com o toque. “Você… gostou de me chupar?”
“Cacete, sim…” mordeu o lábio, desejosa, um misto do sabor dele com o tesão que sentia com a conversinha suja. “Eu amei cada segundo.”
E, porra, ele pareceu tão feliz com sua resposta. Agora, o polegar circulou seu clitóris devagar no ritmo que parecia gostar, enquanto a outra mão subia pela sua barriga, roçando as unhas curtas até chegar ao colo dos seus seios carentes, beliscando seus mamilos sem muito carinho, maltratando os biquinhos com puxadinhas nada inseguras, te arrancando um gemidinho manhoso. “Isso é muito gostoso…” sussurrou, beijando seu maxilar, gemendo quando viu sua expressão franzida pelo prazer. “Minha garota fica molhada fazendo eu me sentir bem… Porra, quero muito te chupar, amor. Deve ser tão gostosa.”
“N-Não, Jami…” você protesta logo de cara, arruinada demais para mais preliminares. “Quero você dentro…” Fez manha, o segurando pelos ombros, como se aquilo fosse o suficiente para fazê-lo desistir da ideia.
“Não?” O polegar pressionou no pontinho com mais firmeza, circulando enquanto o dedo do meio deslizava entre suas dobras meladas. “Então me diz se está bom assim, hm?” perguntou contra sua pele, a voz abafada pelos beijos molhadinhos no seu colo, não querendo ir contra os seus desejos. A rola grossa ainda roçava na sua entrada, quente e pesada. “Posso… colocar?”
A respiração dele falhou quando você assentiu freneticamente. Ele olhou para baixo, vendo a cabecinha deslizar pelas suas dobras molhadas até parar bem na entradinha, sem sequer precisar se guiar. “Me avisa se doer.” sussurrou, e então entrou devagar com uma estocada profunda, e mesmo sem querer, entrou por completo de uma só vez. “Ah, porra…”
James sentiu você apertar forte ao redor dele em resposta, suas paredes se contraindo enquanto você tentava não fazer tanto barulho, por mais que fosse impossível quando se sentia tão bem e tão cheia, mesmo após tanto tempo sem aquilo. Os olhos dele reviraram de prazer com o aperto quentinho e sufocante. “Princesa, faz qualquer som que quiser… por favor.” implorou, ainda parado dentro de você, te dando tempo para se acostumar com o tamanho dele, ao mesmo tempo que se controlava para não gozar só com aquilo. “Quero te ouvir.”
Os dedos cravaram na sua pele enquanto ele saía devagar e voltava com força, os quadris indo e vindo num ritmo profundo e constante. “Caralho, você é apertada demais…” ofegou, encostando a testa na sua para te beijar de um jeito bagunçado, sem se importar com a lambança. Seu gemido engolido pela boca dele foi todo o incentivo que precisava para continuar. “Assim?” ele grunhiu, o pau entrando e saindo do canalzinho guloso, indo tão fundo que por um segundo a fez esquecer de respirar. “Tá’ gostoso, linda?”
“C-Continua!” Pediu, mais gemendo do que falando, escondendo o rostinho choroso no pescoço branquinho, soltando os sonzinhos de puta que seu namorado havia acabado de se viciar. “Jami… mais!”
Ele quase enlouqueceu com o seu pedido. As mãos apertaram sua cintura, te apoiando para os quadris subirem mais forte e rápido, acertando o mesmo lugarzinho de antes, tendo a certeza quando te ouviu grunhir reclamona. “Você tá apertando meu pau pra’ caralho.” ofegou contra seus lábios, o ritmo ficando cada vez mais dengoso.
“Mô, eu não vou aguentar muito…” Diz, e mesmo assim não contém as reboladinhas desajeitadas, forçando mais para baixo toda vez que o sentia jogar o quadril para cima, vislumbrando o orgasmo forte. “Q-Quero gozar!”
Ele continuou metendo, as estocadas ficando erráticas e desesperadas, combinando perfeitamente com o estado de ambos. “Bebê… eu vou… porra, eu vou gozar dentro se você continuar fazendo esses sons de puta.” O polegar encontrou seu grelinho novamente, circulando rápido enquanto ele te fodia. “Diz que eu posso, por favor. Eu posso? Posso te encher?” Perguntou ofegante, te abraçando por completo, os olhinhos te implorando por aquilo.
“Porra… joga tudo dentro, Jami.” Os olhos dele reviraram com suas palavras, arrancando um grunhido mudo dele. As investidas, antes erráticas, ficaram profundas e frenéticas. Ele sentiu o orgasmo vindo rápido, as bolas cheias se apertando, quase explodindo para gozar.
Socou forte uma última vez e, com um gemido rouquinho, ele gozou, a porra quentinha jorrando dentro da sua entradinha desprotegida. O corpo inteiro dele tremia enquanto ele te enchia completamente, aproveitando a sensação deliciosa pela primeira vez.
Seu gemido prolongado fez ele continuar gozando, até a última gota, os quadris se mexendo erráticamente enquanto terminava de te inundar. O polegar no seu clitóris acelerou, querendo que você gozasse junto dele. “Goza pra mim, amor. Preciso te sentir molhando o meu pau.”
“Eu tô' perto...” gemeu toda dengosa, mordendo a boquinha babada quando sentiu sua buceta contrair involuntariamente, te fazendo tremer no colinho do seu namorado. “Jami…”
As estocadas ficaram rasas, mas ainda iam fundo, e o pau ainda pulsava dentro de você enquanto ele tentava ao máximo te fazer gozar. “Isso, isso, isso, sim… bem aqui, bebê, bem no meu pau.” O polegar pressionava forte no seu pontinho, do jeitinho que você gostava, te deixando mole em cima dele. James observava seu rosto atentamente, os dedos trabalhando rápido enquanto os quadris mantinham o ritmo, apesar de implorarem por descanso. Ele quer te fazer gozar.
“Goza, bebê…” Ele te beijou de um jeito bagunçado, mas era tão gostosinho que nem se importou, capturando seus gemidos chorosos. “Goza tudo em mim… por favor.” implorou, precisando sentir você pulsar ao redor dele. “Vem pra mim.”
O estímulo te jogou no precipício. Seu orgasmo te acertou com força desmedida, desigual. Suas paredes apertaram o pau dele com força, pulsando enquanto você gozava, um grito alto saindo da sua garganta, não tendo ideia que os estímulos no seu grelinho te trariam um orgasmo tão gostoso. “Ah— porra! Porra!” o loiro gemeu com você, os olhos fechados ao te sentir ordenhando o pau dele, sensível. “Isso, linda. Caralho…”
Lágrimas se acumularam no cantinho dos seus olhos, o prazer sendo tão grande que te deixou fragilizada. James enterrou o rosto no seu pescoço, se recusando a tirar o pau de dentro de você, os braços firmes te prendendo pela cintura feito um urso.
“Por favor, me fala que eu fui bom.” sussurrou trêmulo contra sua pele, soando vulnerável e necessitado de elogios, tanto, que pensava que iria morrer se não soubesse. “Eu te fiz sentir bem? Eu fui bom? Fala a verdade…” Beijou seu ombro repetidamente, as orbes vidradas de um jeito que nunca havia visto antes. “Eu te satisfiz, amor?”
É, você tinha ganhado na loteria.
𖦹 gostou? deixe uma curtida, comentário ou reblog! e até logo!
sypnosis : y/n came to korea for one year. they never expected one year to change everything.
tags : idol-seonghyeon x non-idol reader !!, slow burn, fluff, romance, comedy, slice of life, found family, tension , smau, ongoing series.
༘⊹ ࣪ ˖ : hey guys this is pt1 ik it’s very long buttt its so good i promise and not a lot happened since its only the first chapter but a lot a lot more is coming lmk if u wanna get tagged and please leave feedback i wanna know how i did tysm for reading <33.
The dream of studying abroad in Korea had lived in your head for years.
Every time another TikTok popped up on your For You Page showing girls laughing with their new friends, exploring Seoul at night, eating convenience store food after class, or filming aesthetic campus vlogs, a familiar feeling settled in your chest.
You’d scroll through hundreds of comments filled with people saying things like, “Best year of my life,” or “Studying abroad changed me forever.” Every single one made you wish you had that life instead of yours.
Your own school life couldn’t have been more different. It wasn’t that you had no friends. You did.
But they always had someone they’d choose before you.You were everyone’s second option.
The friend they’d text when nobody else was available.The one who got invited only if someone else canceled.It hurt more than being alone.
To make things worse, you never really fit in with the people around you. While everyone else spent weekends partying, smoking, and drinking, you stayed home. Sure, you were curious sometimes, but your parents would absolutely lose it if they ever found out.
Speaking of your parents… They were also unbelievably strict. They barely let you hang out with friends. Walking to the convenience store five minutes away somehow turned into a full interrogation all the time .
“Where are you going?” , “Who are you meeting?”
“How long will you be gone?”
It was exhausting.
They still treated you like a little kid even though you weren’t one anymore. Some nights you lay awake wondering if anything would ever change.Would your friendships ever feel real?Would your parents finally trust you?.
Would life stop feeling like the exact same day replaying over and over again? School. Home. Homework. Sleep. Repeat.
You wanted something different. Anything different. A new place, New people, A new version of yourself.
Lost in your thoughts, you realized you’d been reading the comments under the same TikTok for almost fifteen minutes. Then one comment caught your eye.
“If anyone wants to study abroad in Korea for a year, DM me! I can help you get there. It won’t cost a lot, either. If you’re serious about changing your life, message me and we’ll make it happen.”
Your heart skipped. This is it. The universe is finally listening. Without thinking twice, you clicked on the user’s profile and sent them a message explaining how badly you wanted to study in Korea.
For a split second, the thought of getting scammed crossed your mind… But something about this felt strangely genuine. Four hours later, your phone buzzed.
They had replied.
The two of you spent hours chatting. They asked why you wanted to study abroad, what your goals were, and what your life was like. Eventually, they explained everything. Apparently, a friend of theirs living in Korea had helped create something called the International Travel Program for Students.
Every year, foreign students could apply to spend one year studying in Korea. Only one hundred students would be accepted out of millions of applicants. Those selected would receive housing with a Korean host family, meals, and a monthly allowance while attending school.
It almost sounded too good to be true. Still…
You agreed immediately. The person submitted your application that same day. Days turned into weeks.
Weeks turned into months. Every morning you checked your email.
Nothing.
Every night before bed you hoped tomorrow would finally be the day. Eventually, checking became part of your daily routine.
Then…
One evening, while eating dinner with your parents, your phone vibrated. A new email. The sender was unfamiliar. You almost deleted it, assuming it was another promotional email.Then you noticed one small detail.
Location: Republic of Korea.
Your stomach flipped. Hands shaking, you opened the email and scanned the first few lines.
Halfway through… Your eyes froze.“Congratulations…” No way. You kept reading faster. “…you have been selected as one of the one hundred students accepted into this year’s International Travel Program for Students.”
Silence Then “Oh my God!” You shot out of your chair so fast it nearly tipped over.
“I GOT IN!”
You jumped around the dining room, laughing and screaming while your parents stared at you in complete confusion. “Y/N!” your dad exclaimed. “Sit down! The neighbors downstairs are going to complain again!” “What happened?” your mom asked, worried. “Is everything okay?”
Breathing heavily, you shoved your phone toward them. “I got accepted to study abroad in Korea!”
Your parents looked at each other. Then back at you. “What?” your mom blinked. “How did this even happen? ”For a brief second you Panic.
There was no way you could explain the random TikTok comment. So you lied. “My school nominated me,” you said confidently. “Because of my grades. They picked me for this international program.”
The lie rolled off your tongue far easier than you expected. Your parents ofc immediately believed it.
Your mother’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh, sweetheart…” She stood up and wrapped you in the tightest hug. “I’m so proud of you, I always knew you’d accomplish something amazing.”
Your dad smiled proudly, giving you a pat on the shoulder. “Looks like all that studying paid off y/n ”
Guilt pricked at your chest. But it was quickly drowned out by excitement. Once everyone settled down, you looked back at the email.
At the very bottom was one final sentence. Departure Date: Five days from today, Five days.
That was it, Five days until your entire life changed.
Without another word, you sprinted upstairs and threw open your bedroom closet. Suitcases, Clothes, Chargers, Books. Anything you thought you’d need It didn’t matter that you still had five days. The sooner you packed, the sooner it would feel real
For the first time in years… You weren’t dreading tomorrow, You couldn’t wait for it. A brand-new country, A brand-new school, A brand-new life.
Even if it only lasted one year…
Time Skip: The Day of the Trip
You woke up feeling exhausted since your excitement had gotten the best of you the night before, and you barely got any sleep. Reaching for your phone, you checked the time and immediately shot up.
Only two hours left.
You rushed to the bathroom, quickly brushing your teeth before jumping into the shower. Once you finished, you hurried back to your room and put on your favorite outfit. A few minutes later, your mom called from downstairs.
“Y/N! Come on! Dad already put your suitcase in the car with the rest of your things!”
“I’m coming!”
Grabbing your backpack, you rushed downstairs, your heart pounding with excitement. This was finally happening.
During the drive to the airport, your mind wandered as you stared out the window.
How many new friends am I going to make?
Will my host family be nice?
What if the language barrier ruins everything?
A thousand thoughts raced through your head so fast that you didn’t even realize you’d completely zoned out.
“Y/N?”
You blinked.
“Sweetheart, are you okay?” your mom asked. “I’ve been calling your name for the past minute.”
You looked over at her and smiled softly.
“Yeah… I’m okay. Just thinking about how everything’s going to be from now on.”
She smiled warmly.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. Everything is going to work out. You’re amazing, so don’t stress yourself too much, okay?” You nodded , “Okay, Mom.”
Before you knew it, you had already arrived at the airport.You climbed out of the car and rushed to the trunk to grab your bags. After your parents helped you unload everything, the three of you walked inside together.
They helped you check in your luggage, print your boarding pass, and make sure you had everything you needed before walking you over to security.
You turned around one last time.Both of your parents stood there waving.
Your mom already had tears in her eyes, and your dad looked like he was trying his hardest not to cry.
A lump formed in your throat, You smiled through the tears beginning to fill your own eyes and waved back.
No matter how strict and overprotective they could be… They were still your parents, And you loved them.
After making it through security, you wandered through the airport until you finally found your gate.
Noticing an empty seat right next to a charging outlet made you smile. “My phone is literally about to die,” you muttered.
You plugged it in, set your bags beside you, leaned your head against the chair…and slowly drifted off to sleep.
About two hours later, you felt someone gently tapping your shoulder, Your eyes flew open.
Standing in front of you was the same elderly couple you’d seen earlier, The older woman smiled kindly.
“Oh, thank goodness you’re awake, sweetheart. Boarding is about to begin.”Your eyes widened.
“Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for waking me up. I seriously appreciate it.” She chuckled.“You’re very welcome.”You quickly grabbed your bags and hurried into the boarding line.
About fifteen minutes later, it was finally your turn.
The airline employee scanned your passport and boarding pass before asking a few routine questions about your trip and why you were traveling to Korea.
Even though you thought some of the questions were a little unnecessary, you answered them politely, After handing everything back, she smiled.
“Enjoy your flight.”
“Thank you.”
You stepped onto the plane, unable to stop smiling.
Thank goodness I got a first-class seat, you thought.There’s no way I’d survive a fourteen-hour flight sitting in economy.
You found your seat, stored your carry-on in the overhead compartment, slipped off your shoes, and changed into the complimentary slippers provided by the flight attendants.As passengers continued boarding, your thoughts began racing again.
This was the longest flight you’d ever taken…
And the first time you’d ever flown this far completely alone.You turned toward the window, watching the airport workers load everyone’s luggage.
A moment later, you heard voices beside you.
You turned to see…The same elderly couple.
You laughed softly.“What are the chances?”
The older woman smiled. “Looks like we’re seatmates.”
“I’m actually really glad,” you admitted. “Thank you again for waking me up earlier.” The couple smiled before asking you questions about yourself, why you were traveling to Korea, and what you planned to do there.
You answered each one politely, enjoying the conversation.Eventually, the cabin became quieter.
You turned back toward the window.The sky stretched endlessly above you.
This is it.
Everything I’ve been dreaming about starts now.
As the plane lifted into the air, you watched the city slowly disappear beneath the clouds Before long…
You drifted back to sleep.
Hours later, you woke up needing to use the bathroom.You quietly excused yourself and made your way toward the back of the plane.After finishing, you glanced at yourself in the mirror.
“…Yikes.”
Your mascara was smudged.
Your lip liner had faded.
Your hair looked like you’d been struck by lightning.
Embarrassed, you quickly fixed your makeup, brushed your hair, and took a deep breath before walking back to your seat. Once you sat down, you checked your phone.
Only two hours until landing.
Your eyes widened “Did I seriously sleep that long?”
Then your stomach growled loudly You froze.
You hadn’t eaten since breakfast The elderly woman beside you laughed softly “You missed breakfast, lunch, and dinner,” she teased. “Good thing I packed snacks.”
She reached into her bag and handed you several Korean snacksYour face lit up “Thank you so much!”
She smiled warmly “You’ll need your energy.”
You happily ate everything she gave you before thanking her again.
With only about an hour left in the flight, you decided to watch a movie on the screen in front of you.Time flew by.Before you realized it, the plane had already begun descendingYou lifted the window shade.
Your breath caughtBelow you stretched a city unlike anything you’d ever seenTowering buildings,Tiny cars moving through busy streets,Bridges crossing the river.
Rows of apartment buildings stretching toward the horizonYour heart pounded, “I’m really here”.
A few minutes later, the flight attendant made the landing announcement.“We’ve arrived in Seoul. Please remain seated until the aircraft has come to a complete stop.”
As soon as the seatbelt sign turned off, everyone began gathering their belongings.You grabbed your backpack, slipped your shoes back on, and followed everyone off the plane.The moment you stepped outside…Fresh air brushed against your face.
It smelled faintly like sweet bread and coffee.
You looked around the airport, completely overwhelmed Everything was new, Everything felt different.
You simply followed the crowd until you reached immigration and collected your suitcase, Finally, after making it through the airport, you turned your phone back on.
Within seconds, notifications flooded your screen.
Mom: 1 new message
+82…: 2 new messages
Mom:
“Hey, sweetheart! Please let me know when you land, okay? Stay safe. We love you so much. Make sure you eat well and get enough sleep. ❤️”
You smiled.
Then you opened the second conversation.
+82…:
“Hello, Y/N! This is Mrs. Eom. I’ll be your host mother while you’re staying in Korea. Please give me a call once you’ve landed. We’re waiting for you at the airport, sweetheart!”
My host family… You couldn’t help smiling, wait because How did they even get my number?
Without wasting another second, you pressed the call button.
She answered almost immediately. “Hello, Y/N! How was your flight?”, “It was really good! Just really long.”
She laughed.
“I can imagine. Where are you right now?”
You looked around before describing your location and what you were standing near.
“Perfect,” she replied. “Stay right there. We’re already inside the airport. We’ll be there in just a few minutes.”
Before hanging up, she asked you what you were wearing so they could recognize you.
A couple of minutes later…
You suddenly heard someone shouting from across the terminal.
“HEY, Y/N!!”
You turned around just in time to see a girl around your age sprinting toward you. Before you could react… She wrapped you in a huge hug that nearly knocked you over.
You stood there in complete confusion, She quickly stepped back. “Oh my gosh! Sorry!” she laughed. “I forgot to introduce myself!”
She smiled brightly. “My name’s Eom Iseo. I’m your host sister!”
Realization hit you.
“Ohhh! Hi!”
You laughed before hugging her properly this time.
It’s so nice to finally meet you.” She grinned.
“You too!”
A few seconds later, a woman and a man walked over, both smiling warmly.
“Hello, Y/N,” the woman said kindly. “I’m Mrs. Eom.”
“And I’m Mr. Eom.”
They both gave you warm hugs that instantly made you feel welcome. “Let us help you with your luggage, sweetheart,” Mrs. Eom said.
Before you could protest, Mr. Eom had already picked up your suitcase while Mrs. Eom grabbed another bag.Together, the four of you made your way toward the parking garage.
Once they loaded everything into the trunk, you climbed into the car.As the doors closed behind you, it finally sank in.You weren’t dreaming anymore.
For the next year…
Korea was home.
You finally arrived at the Eom family’s house.
As the car pulled into the driveway, your eyes widened. This house is huge…
These people have to be rich, you thought to yourself. Mr. Eom parked the car, and everyone climbed out. The moment your feet touched the ground, Iseo hurried over to your side with an excited grin.
“This is our house!” she said, spreading her arms dramatically. “Welcomeeee~!”
You couldn’t help but laugh.
Mrs. Eom unlocked the front door before calling into the house. “Seonghyeon! Come downstairs and greet our new family member! And help your father bring in the suitcases, please!”
You looked at Iseo in confusion.
“Seonghyeon?” She nodded.
“Oh, yeah! That’s my older brother. He’s your age.”
“Your brother?” “Yep!” she said cheerfully. “He couldn’t come to the airport with us because of some personal stuff, but don’t worry. He’s really chill.”
Before you could ask anything else, you heard footsteps coming from upstairs.You looked toward the staircase.A tall guy slowly walked down, wearing a gray hoodie, baggy black jeans, and a black beanie pulled over his hair.
He was easily much taller than you.
As soon as he reached the bottom step, his eyes met yours.For a brief moment, neither of you looked away.Then he walked over and stopped in front of you.
“Hey,” he said with a small smile. “Y/N, right?”
He held out his hand. That’s when you noticed the cast wrapped around one of his fingers.
You hesitated for a second before gently shaking his hand, careful not to hurt him.
“Oh… yeah. Hi.” You smiled awkwardly.
“It’s me.”“…Seonghyeon, right?” He chuckled softly.
“Yeah.” “Nice to meet you, Y/N.”
He held your gaze for another second before letting go of your hand.A tiny smirk appeared on his face before he turned around and headed outside to help his dad with the luggage.
You watched him leave.
“Y/N!”
Iseo suddenly grabbed your wrist.
“Come on! Let me show you your room!”
She practically dragged you upstairs before stopping in front of a bedroom next to hers.
“This is your room.” She slowly opened the door.
“…Well… for now.”
You peeked inside. The room was nice, but there were clearly signs that someone was still using it.
A hoodie was thrown across a chair.A few books were stacked on the desk.And a pair of sneakers sat by the closet.Iseo laughed awkwardly.
“Ignore the mess.”
“My brother’s staying here for a couple of days, but don’t worry! He’s leaving back tomorrow, so after that this room is completely yours.”
She pointed toward the room next door.
“Tonight, you’ll just sleep with me.”
“Oh…”
You nodded before another question popped into your head.
“Wait…”
“You said your brother doesn’t live here?” “Oh!” Iseo laughed. “I forgot to mention that.”
“He doesn’t.”
You blinked.
“But… isn’t he my age? I thought people usually stayed with their parents longer here.” She shrugged.“He doesn’t live alone.”
“He has an apartment with some of his friends.”
“Oh…” you said still confused
You nodded thoughtfully, “I didn’t know that.”
“Yep!” she smiled. “Anyway, enough about him.”
She clapped her hands together.“Let’s bring your luggage upstairs first.”
The two of you headed back downstairs just as Mr. Eom and Seonghyeon carried the last few suitcases inside. Without saying much, Seonghyeon picked up two of your heavier bags and carried them upstairs.
As he walked past you, your eyes met for just a second.
He gave you a small wink before disappearing down the hallway, You couldn’t help but wonder about him.He seemed… quiet, Different.
But before you could think about it any longer, Iseo grabbed your arm again. “Come on!”
The two of you finished unpacking your things into her room for the night.Once everything was inside, she flopped onto her bed and looked at you with a huge smile.“Okay!”
She pointed at you dramatically, “I need to know everything.”, “What kind of stuff do you like?”
“Who’s your favorite artist?”, “What’s your favorite food?”, “Do you watch K-dramas?”, “And don’t leave out any details.” She laughed excitedly.
“Tell me everything about yourself, ASAP!”
As you started talking about your interests and the things you liked, Iseo immediately started agreeing with almost everything you said, occasionally blurting out the most random comments that made you laugh. The conversation flowed so naturally that before you knew it, an hour had already passed.
Even while laughing with Iseo, Seonghyeon stayed in the back of your mind. What teenager lives with his friends instead of his parents? Did his parents just… not care?
And why didn’t he come to the airport? Sure, his finger was injured, but was that really the reason?
You caught yourself overthinking and quickly pushed the thoughts away.
Maybe it wasn’t your business.
After unpacking your suitcase, you set your pajamas and shower things aside. It was already around 9 p.m., and after such a long flight, all you wanted was a hot shower. “I’ll be back,” you smiled at Iseo before leaving the room.
As you walked toward the bathroom, the door suddenly opened.
Seonghyeon stepped out.
His damp black hair clung to his forehead, tiny drops of water slowly trailing down his neck before disappearing beneath the collar of his oversized shirt. The room instantly smelled like fresh soap.
For a second, neither of you moved.
His tired eyes met yours before a small smile spread across his face.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, stepping aside to let you pass.
“It’s okay.”
You tried to walk past him, but the hallway suddenly felt way too small. Your shoulders nearly brushed, forcing both of you to awkwardly stop for a split second. “You can go first,” he said quietly.
“No, you’re fine.”
Another awkward pause.
He let out a small chuckle before finally squeezing past you. “Goodnight… for now.”
Your heart did something weird.
“…Goodnight.”
You stood there for another second after he disappeared downstairs. Why was your heart beating so fast? Shaking your head, you went into the bathroom and took your shower.
After you finished getting ready for bed, you headed downstairs to grab some cold water. The hot shower had somehow made you even thirstier.
You grabbed a glass, filled it with ice and water, then leaned against the kitchen island while quietly looking around the house.
A photo held up by a magnet on the refrigerator caught your attention.
It was Seonghyeon.
Standing beside four other boys.
The picture looked professionally taken, everyone smiling like they had known each other forever.
You couldn’t help but stare.
He looked… different.
Happier.
You were so focused on the picture that you didn’t notice someone walking into the kitchen.
A warm hand rested lightly against your waist.
“Excuse me.”
You nearly dropped your glass.
“Oh my gosh!”
You spun around so fast your heart almost jumped out of your chest. Seonghyeon immediately pulled his hand away. “Sorry,” he laughed softly. “You were blocking the cabinet.”
Your cheeks instantly burned.
“No! I’m sorry… I didn’t even realize I was standing there.”
His eyes stayed on your face for a second longer than they probably should have.
“It’s okay.”
He grabbed a cup and filled it with water before leaning against the counter beside you.
Silence settled between the two of you.
Not awkward.
Just… quiet.
You couldn’t help but glance over.
His Adam’s apple moved as he drank, strands of wet hair falling into his eyes.Almost as if he could feel you staring, he slowly turned his head, Your eyes met.You looked away so fast it was embarrassing, A quiet laugh escaped him.
“Were you looking at the picture?”
You glanced back at the fridge.
“…Maybe.”
“They’re my friends.”
“The ones you live with?”
He nodded.
“They’re annoying.”
You smiled.
“But… I guess they’re family.”
Something about the way he said it made your chest tighten, Like there was more to the story, You wanted to ask.But before you could, he pushed himself off the counter.
“Have you been to a convenience store here yet?”
You blinked.
“No.”
“Wanna come with me?”
“…Right now?”
“I want coffee.”
You looked down at your pajamas.
“I’m literally wearing pajamas.”
He laughed.
“So?”
“I am not going outside like this.”
“You’ll be fine.”
He pulled on a hoodie before slipping a black mask over his face, You frowned. “It’s so hot outside. Why are you wearing all that?”
He froze for the smallest second before casually shrugging.
“I don’t really like being recognized.”
Recognized?
Before you could ask what he meant, he had already opened the front door.
“You coming?”
Curiosity got the better of you.
“…Fine.”
The walk to the convenience store was surprisingly nice. The streets were quiet, the warm summer air wrapping around both of you.
He asked you about home, your hobbies, your favorite foods, and even your music taste.
Every answer somehow led to another conversation.
Talking to him felt… easy.
Like you’d known him longer than a day.
When you reached the convenience store, he headed toward the coffee machines.
“Grab whatever you want.”
“You sure?”
He nodded without hesitation.
Big mistake.
Everything looked so good.
Half the snacks you’d only ever seen on TikTok were actually sitting on the shelves in front of you.
By the time you finished, your arms were completely full. When you walked back over, Seonghyeon looked at the mountain of snacks before looking at you.
“…You’re serious.”
You laughed nervously.
“I’ve never had any of these before.”
He shook his head with a smile.
“Cute.”
“…What?”
“Nothing.”
He walked to the register before you could question him.The cashier scanned everything while speaking to him in Korean.
Your eyes drifted to the screen.
₩72,975.50.
“…Wait.”
Your jaw dropped.
“What?!”
Seonghyeon calmly tapped his card.
“You don’t have to…”
“It’s fine.”
“No! That’s like…”
You quickly pulled out your phone.
“I’ll pay you back.”
He looked over at you before laughing.
“It’s only about fifty dollars.”
“Fifty dollars is still fifty dollars!”
He smiled, stuffing the receipt into the bag.
“I wanted to.”
His words caught you off guard.
“…Why?”
He shrugged.
“Because I felt like it.”
There wasn’t a trace of hesitation in his voice.
As if spending that much on someone he’d just met wasn’t a big deal.The walk back felt even shorter.
He told you funny childhood stories about the boys he lived with, making you laugh so hard your stomach hurt.By the time you reached the house, you almost wished the walk had been longer.
You both slipped your shoes off by the front door.
“Thanks… seriously,” you smiled.
He looked over at you.
“Don’t worry about it.”
He grabbed his coffee before turning toward the stairs.
“I hope I see you in the morning.”
“So you can tell me goodbye?”
He nodded.
You hesitated before speaking.
“Seonghyeon…”
“Yeah?”
“Why are you leaving?”
He stopped walking.
For a brief second, he didn’t answer.
Then he smiled.
“I don’t actually live here.”
“I kind of figured.”
“I live with my friends.”
“…For work?”
His eyes flickered with surprise.
“You ask a lot of questions.”
Your face warmed.
“Sorry.”
He chuckled.
“I’ll be gone for a while.”
“A while… like how long?”
“…Long enough.”
It wasn’t really an answer.
You noticed.
He noticed that you noticed.
Another quiet silence settled between you.
Finally, he smiled again.
“But I’ll text my new friend.”
Your heart skipped.
“…New friend?”
“Unless you don’t want to be.”
You smiled without realizing it.
“I think I can live with that.”
“There it is.”
“What?”
“Your smile.”
You blinked.
“It’s nicer when you’re not overthinking.”
Before you could even process what he’d said, he started walking away.
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Goodnight…”
He looked over his shoulder one last time.
“And good luck sleeping next to Iseo.”
You laughed.
“Why?”
“She kicks.”
“…Seriously?”
“Oh yea and she kicks hard too.”
You both laughed.
Then he disappeared upstairs, You stood there for another moment, replaying every conversation you’d had with him today.
There was still so much you didn’t know. Why he hid behind a mask,Why he lived with his friends,Why he seemed to avoid answering certain questions.
He was a mystery.
Pushing the thoughts aside, you headed upstairs and climbed into bed beside Iseo.Within minutes, exhaustion pulled you to sleep.
Yet somehow…Seonghyeon was still the last thing on your mind.
৻ꪆ SUMMARY : Riki spends all day driving you insane just to see how long you can hold out, and he’s more than ready to collect his reward the second you break.
Riki had been testing your patience since the second your alarm went off, treating your busy, high stress day like his own personal playground.
It wasn't even big things, it was the quiet, deliberate way he completely ignored basic requests just to see your jaw clench. When you asked him to move his stuff so you could actually work, he just gave you a low, lazy “make me” without looking up.
When you were on a deadline, running around trying to get shit done, he was right there in the way, stealing the exact spot you needed to sit, casually changing the speaker volume when you were trying to concentrate, or giving you a blank, amused stare when you specifically asked him to do one simple thing.
To him, it was all a game. To you, with your stress already hitting the ceiling, it was suffocating.
And whenever he was close enough to reach out, it was purely to throw off your focus—a sudden, heavy hand resting on the nape of your neck while you were pacing, or grabbing your wrist just long enough to pull you back against his chest before letting you go with that infuriating, knowing smirk. He knew you were at your limit, and instead of giving you space, he leaned right into the chaos.
You had spent the entire day biting your tongue, swallowing every sharp retort, and fighting a losing battle against the heat and frustration rising under your skin. You were determined not to give him the satisfaction of losing your cool. Because the second you snapped, you knew you’d be playing right into his hands.
He was starving you out, patiently waiting for the exact second your resolve crumbled.
By the time the sun’s gone down and the apartment is quiet, you’re in the bedroom, arms crossed, scrolling on your phone like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. Riki’s stretched out on the bed behind you, shirtless, grey sweats slung low. You can feel his stare burning into your back.
“Baby,” he drawls, voice low and lazy. “You still mad?”
You don’t answer. Your thumb keeps scrolling even though the words on the screen stopped registering minutes ago. He chuckles softly, the sound rumbling through the quiet room.
“Cute. Keep pouting then. See how long that lasts.”
You bite the inside of your cheek hard. You want to give in so bad. God, it’s embarrassing how close you are to snapping. Hours of his little touches—fingers brushing your waist, breath against your neck, that stupid smirk—have left you throbbing. But you refuse to break. Not after the shit he pulled today.
Minutes tick by. The bed creaks. Then his long fingers wrap around your ankle and tug.
“Come here.”
You yank your leg back. “No.”
He moves faster than you expect. One second you’re sitting on the edge of the bed, the next he’s got you flipped onto your back, wrists pinned above your head in one hand. Riki looms over you, his eyes gleaming with that predatory patience he’s been holding all day.
“You’ve been wet for hours, haven’t you?” he murmurs, knee sliding between your thighs to press right against your core. “Fighting so hard not to crawl to me. So fucking stubborn.”
You glare up at him, cheeks burning. “You were being an ass.”
“Yeah?” He grinds his knee slowly, deliberately. “And now you’re soaked through your shorts because I was an ass. Cute.”
You try to twist free. He’s too strong. His body covers yours completely, broad shoulders and long limbs trapping you beneath him. He leans down, lips brushing your ear.
“You held out longer than I thought you would,” he murmurs. “But you’re done now.”
He kisses you hard, tongue pushing in like he owns you. You whimper into his mouth, hips jerking against his thigh despite yourself. When he pulls back, you’re panting.
“On your knees.”
You hesitate, clinging to the last scrap of defiance. His eyes darken. In a flash he flips you onto your stomach, yanks your shorts and panties down your legs, and brings his palm down sharply on your ass. The smack echoes. Heat blooms across your skin.
You yelp.
“I said on your knees.”
This time you obey, sliding off the bed to kneel between his spread legs. He pushes his sweats down just enough, freeing his cock. It’s thick and heavy, flushed dark at the tip and already leaking. Your mouth waters.
He tucks two fingers under your chin, tilting your face up. “You’re gonna suck me nice and slow. Show me how much you missed me while you were ignoring me all day.”
You lean forward and lick a long stripe up the underside before wrapping your lips around the head. Riki groans.
You take him deeper, working your tongue along his length while your hand strokes what you can’t fit. He’s big enough that your jaw aches in the best way after only a few moments, but you keep going—hollowing your cheeks, sucking harder, letting saliva drip down your chin.
“Fuck, that’s it,” he hisses, head tipping back. “Look at you. So mad but still choking on my cock like a good little slut.”
You moan around him, the vibration making his hips twitch. He guides you a little faster, hitting the back of your throat until your eyes water. Just when his thighs start to tense, he pulls you off with a wet pop and wipes the corner of your mouth with his thumb.
“Not yet. Get on the bed.”
He lies back fully and tugs you up the bed until you’re hovering over his face. Your thighs tremble.
“Riki—”
He smacks your ass again, harder. “Sit.”
Your face heats, but the look in his eyes tells you there’s no arguing with him. You lower yourself slowly. The first swipe of his tongue drags a broken moan from your throat. He grips your hips with both hands and pulls you down harder, licking broad and hungry over your folds before focusing on your clit. His tongue circles, flicks, then pushes inside you, relentless. You brace your hands on the headboard, hips rocking as pleasure coils tighter and tighter.
He doesn’t let you ease up. Every time you try to hover he yanks you back down, devouring you until your legs shake violently. You cum hard, crying out as waves crash over you. He keeps licking, drawing out a second, shakier orgasm that leaves you whimpering and oversensitive.
Only then does he lift you off, flipping you onto your back again. His face is shiny with your slick, lips swollen. He looks feral.
“Still mad?” he asks, lining himself up at your entrance.
You shake your head frantically. “No—Riki, please—”
He pushes in with one long, steady thrust. The stretch is intense. You feel every inch as he fills you completely, pressing against places that make your toes curl.
“Fuck, so tight,” he groans, bottoming out.
He starts moving—deep, punishing strokes that make the bed creak. Every thrust punches the air out of your lungs. You claw at his back, legs wrapped around his waist.
When your moans get too loud he flips you onto all fours, one hand fisting in your hair while the other delivers a series of sharp, stinging spanks to your ass. The burn mixes perfectly with the pleasure, making you push back onto him desperately.
“Look at you,” he rasps, slamming in harder. “So fucking needy after pretending to hate me all day.”
He reaches around to rub tight circles on your clit and you shatter again, clenching around his cock. He doesn’t slow down. He fucks you through it, dragging out the high until tears slip down your cheeks and every thrust borders on too much.
“Riki—too much—”
“You can take it.” He grabs your hips, slamming in harder. “You’re gonna take every fucking inch until I fill you up.”
You do—shaking and sobbing as another orgasm rips through you. His pace turns erratic, hips snapping against your reddened ass.
“Tell me you want it,” he demands, his breath coming in ragged gasps.
You nod desperately, clutching at the sheets. “Please—yes, please—”
With a low moan, he buries himself deep and cums. You feel every pulse, every hot spurt as he fills you. When he finally stills, he doesn’t pull out right away. Just stays there, grinding lazily, pushing himself deeper.
You collapse onto the bed, trembling. Riki follows, careful not to crush you, and gently pulls out. The loss makes you whimper.
“Shh, I got you,” he murmurs, his tone instantly softening. He gathers you against his chest, hands stroking down your back, kissing your damp forehead.
“You okay, baby?”
You nod, too exhausted to form actual words. “Mhm.”
He chuckles softly, carefully easing himself away from you and slipping out of bed. You hear the soft hum of the bathroom sink before he returns a moment later with a warm, damp cloth. His touch is gentle now, wiping between your legs, kissing every mark he left on your ass and hips.
“I’m sorry for being an ass today,” he whispers against your hair, his voice quiet and genuine. “I missed you.”
You huff, though you can’t hide the small smile creeping up against his chest as you wrap an arm over his waist. “You’re still an asshole. But I missed you too.”
“And you’re still my brat,” he whispers, kissing the top of your head. “Get some sleep. I’ll make you breakfast tomorrow to make it up to you. Deal?”
You smile despite yourself, already drifting off in his arms, sore, full, and completely satisfied.
Sypnosis: you could never trust anyone again until Riki showed up. He shows you what warmth feels like and cares about you deeply. You realised you love him, but you don’t wan to ruin the friendship.
Warnings: angst, fluff, reader struggles with mental health, mention of self harm, mention of bruises, mention of insomnia, toxic abusive ex, mention of bullying, reader gets anxious, down bad and fluffy Riki
now playing🎧: never let go- lngshot
📍a/n: this is quite a LONG fic, and veryyy angsty. I hope anyone who struggled from mental health, this fic could help u find comfort❤️
For you, the worst part of university life wasn't the grueling exams or the overwhelming campus crowds. It was the quiet.
At 2:47 AM, your small apartment felt less like a home and more like a sensory deprivation tank where the only sound was the loud, chaotic echo of your own thoughts. You sat on the edge of your mattress, knees locked tightly against your chest, staring unblinkingly at the digital clock.
Your brain was running a relentless loop of the day's minor failures. Did I phrase that answer wrong in seminar? Did the professor think I was stupid? Did that girl in the hallway glance at me because she remembered who I used to be?
It was a survival mechanism that had outlived its usefulness. Primary school, middle school, high school—they had been a continuous gauntlet of targeted bullying. You had spent years being told you were fundamentally flawed, and eventually, the voice in your head simply took over the bullies' job.
Unconsciously, your fingers traced the sleeve of your oversized sweater, brushing against the faint, fading yellowish bruises on your forearm.
When you met your ex, you honestly thought the universe was finally throwing you a lifeline. He was the first person who sat and listened to you. But the listening had been a trap—a way to gather your insecurities and use them against you. He became abusive, both verbally and physically, isolating you until he finally discarded you for someone else. He hadn't just broken your heart; he had thoroughly dismantled your ability to trust human touch.
Tonight, the depression felt like a physical weight pressing down on your chest, making your lungs feel like lead. The thoughts of self-harm—the dark, intrusive whisper that escaping your own mind was the only way out—hovered heavily over you.
"I need air," you whispered to the empty room.
You shoved your feet into sneakers, grabbed a worn denim jacket, and stepped out into the cool night.
A few blocks from the complex sat an old pedestrian bridge spanning a quiet, slow-moving river. It was your sanctuary. You leaned against the cold metal railing, watching the moonlight fracture across the dark water. You weren't helpless; you were fighting a silent, exhausting war every single day just to keep breathing.
"Hey."
The syllable cut through the ambient hum of the river, and your entire body violently flinched. Your survival instinct screamed at you. You instinctively dodged backward, your heels scraping against the concrete, your arms crossing defensively over your chest to shield your torso.
The boy standing a few feet away immediately froze, raising his hands in a gentle, open-palmed gesture. "Whoa, hey—sorry! I am so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Really."
You blinked, forcing your eyes to focus through the panic. He was tall—incredibly tall—with a sharp, model-like jawline and dark, intense eyes that were currently wide with genuine concern. He wore a simple black hoodie, but he carried an undeniable presence.
"I'm Riki," he said softly, keeping his distance. He pointed to a cardboard box sitting awkwardly on the pavement near the edge of the bridge. "I just moved into apartment 3B today. The bottom of my box gave out while I was bringing up the last of my things from my car."
You swallowed hard, your throat dry. You looked at the scattered mugs, notebooks, and a stray desk lamp on the ground. Despite the heaviness in your chest, a spark of your natural empathy flickered to life. You didn't want to be a victim of your past forever. You wanted to be human.
"Do you... need a hand?" you asked, your voice small but steady.
Riki’s face completely transformed. A bright, relieved smile broke across his features, softening the sharp angles of his face. "If you don't mind. I'm kind of a disaster right now."
For the next twenty minutes, the two of you worked in tandem. As you handed him a stack of design textbooks, he made a terrible, self-deprecating joke about his total lack of upper-body strength. To your absolute shock, a small, genuine laugh bubbled up from your throat. It was a sound you hadn't heard in a year.
Riki froze. He stopped mid-sentence, his eyes locking onto your face.
In that split second, the world shifted on its axis for him. He watched the way your eyes crinkled at the corners, the way your genuine smile temporarily chased away the deep, haunting sadness in your gaze. It was beautiful. Right there on that dimly lit bridge, surrounded by scattered college supplies, Nishimura Riki fell completely and utterly in love with you.
It didn't take long for you to realize exactly who your new neighbor was.
Riki was the definition of campus royalty. He belonged to a notoriously popular, tightly-knit group of friends—Heeseung, Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Jungwon. Together, they were the center of gravity at the university. Wherever they walked, a wake of whispers, stolen glances, and fluttering hearts followed. Riki, with his effortless style and sharp dance-major visuals, was constantly surrounded by people trying to get his attention.
Yet, despite the noise of his life, Riki’s focus had a singular anchor.
A few weeks after your meeting on the bridge, the weight of a heavy midterm week combined with your insomnia finally broke through your defenses. You were sitting on a secluded stone bench behind the campus library, completely overwhelmed. A passing student had slammed a door too loudly, and the sound had instantly triggered a flashback to your ex.
Your chest tightened. You were hyperventilating, your hands shaking so violently you had to grip the edge of the stone seat just to stay grounded. Tears streamed silently down your face as you fought to regain control of your own lungs.
Across the quad, Riki was walking with Sunghoon and Jake, a group of girls lingering a few paces behind them, trying to start a conversation. Riki wasn't listening to them. His eyes were scanning the campus, as they always did, looking for a familiar oversized jacket.
Then, he spotted you. His heart dropped into his stomach.
"Hey, Riki, where are you going?" Jake called out as Riki suddenly veered off the path, his stride long and purposeful.
"I'll catch up with you guys later," Riki threw over his shoulder, his voice tight.
But he didn't run straight to you. He knew you. He knew your boundaries. Instead, he made a sharp detour to the small floral shop on the corner of the campus square.
Ten minutes later, you were back in your apartment, having managed to walk home using every ounce of willpower you possessed. Your eyes were puffy, red, and the skin around your nose was raw. When a soft, rhythmic knock sounded at your door, you almost didn't answer.
You unlocked it slowly, pulling it open only a few inches.
Riki stood in the hallway. In his hand, he held a single, vibrant red spider lily. It wasn't a standard rose or a basic daisy. It was the exact, specific flower you had mentioned loving during a brief, casual conversation by the mailboxes a week prior.
"Riki?" your voice was completely shot.
He didn't ask what happened. He didn't demand an explanation for your appearance. He just extended his hand, offering the flower. "I saw you by the library. I know you're strong, but... I thought maybe you could use a reminder that someone is paying attention."
The sheer, intentional kindness of the gesture shattered the walls you had spent months building. You didn't just cry; you broke.
Seeing your shoulders shake, Riki stepped into the apartment, gently closing the door behind him. He reached out, his movements slow and deliberate, giving your instincts time to register his intent. When you didn't flinch away, he pulled you into his arms.
Your hands came up, pressing against his chest at first—a final, defensive reflex. But Riki just stood there like a wall against the storm, holding you securely but giving you the space to pull back if you needed to. Eventually, your fingers gripped the fabric of his hoodie. You buried your face into his shoulder, sobbing out the years of bullying, the abuse, and the exhausting loneliness of your life. For the first time in a very long time, you felt safe enough to let go.
Over the next month, a quiet, profound bond formed between your two apartments. You began to tell him things—not as a victim seeking pity, but as a survivor sharing their history. You told him about the ex, the bruises that had finally healed but left mental scars, and the dark thoughts that sometimes scared you. Riki just listened, his large, warm hand covering yours whenever your fingers started to tremble.
"He's completely gone," Jungwon observed one afternoon in the university cafeteria. He was leaning back in his chair, watching Riki stare intensely at his phone screen, waiting for a text back from you.
"It's honestly a little embarrassing," Sunoo teased, leaning over to nudge Riki's shoulder. "A girl from the cheer team tried to hand him her number earlier, and Riki literally didn't even register her existence. He was too busy looking toward the science building."
Riki flushed a deep crimson, shoving Sunoo's shoulder playfully, but his eyes never left his phone. "Shut up. She's just... she's important to me."
Despite the comfort Riki provided, your recovery wasn't a straight line. You still had to work your part-time shift at a busy local café, and some days were harder than others.
During a frantic Thursday rush, a customer lost their temper, slamming their fist on the counter and shouting at you over a minor mistake with their order. The sudden, aggressive noise sent a spike of pure adrenaline through your veins. Your hands began to shake and your breathing turned shallow and rapid. You stumbled out from the cafe, trying to hide your panic from your coworkers.
He saw you acrossed the road. Riki, who had started studying at the café almost daily just to ensure you got home safely, walked across the road.
He didn't make a scene. He walked straight over to you, taking your freezing, trembling hands in his large, warm palms. He didn't force a hug; instead, he brought your hands up, pressing them firmly against his own chest.
"Match my breath," he murmured, his voice incredibly steady, a solid rock in the middle of your chaos. "In for four, out for four. Feel my chest move. I've got you. You're right here with me."
You focused entirely on the steady rise and fall of his chest, using his strength to pull yourself out of the panic. Your shaking subsided, and you managed a small, grateful nod. You were fighting back, and Riki was your anchor.
Because of that trust, you found yourself sitting on his living room couch a few weeks later, watching a movie. By the time the credits rolled, the clock on his wall read 3:12 AM. You were staring blankly at the dark screen, your eyes heavy but wired.
"Hey," Riki said softly, shifting closer to you on the cushions. "Why are you still so awake? You've been yawning for an hour."
You let out a dry, tired laugh. "My insomnia. When the apartment gets this quiet, the thoughts just get incredibly loud. They like to remind me of every mistake I've ever made. I try to turn them off, but I lose the argument every night."
Riki looked at you with an expression of pure, unadulterated tenderness. He shifted back against the armrest of the couch, stretching his legs out, and patted his chest. "Come here."
"Riki, I don't want to crowd you—"
"You're not crowding me," he interrupted gently, his voice leaving no room for argument. "Lie down. Close your eyes."
Hesitantly, you shifted over, lowering your head onto his chest. His heartbeat was slow, deep, and rhythmic beneath your cheek.
"Close your eyes," he whispered, his long fingers gently weaving through your hair, massaging your scalp with a rhythmic, soothing motion that slowly untangled the knots in your brain.
For the first time in your memory, the stadium of voices in your head went completely silent. The steady drum of Riki's heart drowned out the ghosts of your past. Within ten minutes, you fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
The next morning, the golden morning light filtered through the blinds. Riki woke up first. He found his arms wrapped securely around your waist, pulling you completely flush against his torso, your face tucked perfectly into the crook of his neck. He froze, barely daring to expand his lungs because he didn't want the movement to wake you. He just stayed there, his hand resting on your back, gently smoothing down your hair with an expression of intense devotion.
When you woke up, you felt a profound sense of peace. Sleeping at Riki's apartment quickly became a regular occurrence. You were developing deep, terrifyingly intense feelings for him—but you kept them fiercely locked away. You refused to ruin the one perfect friendship that had given you your life back.
Then, the fragile peace you had fought so hard to build was shattered.
You were walking back to the apartment complex after a grueling late shift at the café. As you turned the corner into the courtyard, you saw Riki standing under the dim amber glow of the streetlamp. He wasn't alone.
A girl was standing incredibly close to him, her hand resting heavily on his forearm. You recognized her instantly. The breath caught in your throat, a cold shock of ice flooding your veins. She was a popular girl from your university—but more importantly, she had been one of the primary instigators of the bullying you faced during your freshman year. She was laughing, leaning into Riki's personal space with a practiced, flirtatious ease.
Your stomach dropped violently. The dark, ugly voice in your head, which had been quiet for weeks, roared back to life with a vengeance. Of course, it whispered. Look at her. She's beautiful, popular, and unbroken. A guy like Riki belongs with someone like her. Not a damaged, exhausting mess like you. You were just a charity case.
What you didn't hear, because you were too far away and the blood was rushing in your ears, was Riki's voice turning absolute ice.
"Take your hand off my arm," Riki said, his expression completely blank as he stepped back, entirely severing the contact.
The girl pouted, crossing her arms. "Come on, Riki. It's just a drink. Why are you always so distant? Everyone knows you're single."
"I'm not interested," Riki replied coldly, his eyes turning toward the direction of your apartment. "I already love someone. Completely. And I don't appreciate you hanging around my building."
But you hadn't stayed to hear it. Blinded by a sudden, agonizing wave of humiliation and old trauma, you turned on your heel and ran. You locked yourself in your apartment, sliding down the door until you were curled on the floor, weeping into your knees.
Over the next week, your survival instincts took over. You put your walls back up, higher and thicker than before. You stopped replying to Riki's texts, offering short, hollow excuses when he pushed. When he knocked on your door, you sat entirely still in the dark, breathing quietly until he left. When you accidentally passed him in the campus quad, you gave him a polite, distant smile.
"I've just been really buried in my thesis work, Riki. I'm totally fine, just busy," you said, your voice perfectly manufactured, masking the void inside.
Riki was losing his mind. The sudden, freezing distance was agonizing. He missed your laugh, he missed the quiet weight of your head on his chest, and he was terrified that the darkness had dragged you under again. It was during this week of absolute silence that Riki realized his feelings weren't just a crush—he was irrevocably, deeply in love with you, and he couldn't breathe without you in his life.
The breaking point arrived on a miserable, rainy Tuesday night.
The isolation, the sight of the girl from your past with Riki, and the sheer exhaustion of fighting your own mind day after day finally broke your resolve. You felt entirely hollow, convinced that you were nothing but a burden to the only person who had cared.
In a daze, you left your phone on the kitchen counter and walked out into the cloudy sky. Your steps took you instinctively to the pedestrian bridge—the place where you had first met him, the place where you had first felt a spark of hope.
You stepped up onto the lower concrete ledge of the bridge, gripping the metal railing, staring down at the turbulent, dark river below. You felt entirely detached, trying to calm yourself, ready to let the noise in your head finally stop.
"NO!"
A raw, frantic scream tore through the sound of the falling rain. Before you could even process the sound, a pair of powerful, desperate arms wrapped violently around your waist from behind. With a fierce, terrified heave, you were yanked backward off the ledge into rikis arms.
He pulled you immediately close to his chest. He was shaking uncontrollably, his chest heaving with deep, ragged breaths. He buried his face into the crook of your neck, his grip so tight it was almost bruising, his tears running down his face.
"Don't you dare," Riki choked out, his voice cracking into absolute pieces. "Don't you dare leave me. Please. God, please, I can't lose you."
You sat frozen in his arms, the shock of the impact bringing a sudden, sharp clarity to your mind. You weren't empty anymore; the sheer terror in his voice had shocked your system back to life.
"Riki..." you whispered, your hands coming up to grip his forearms. "Why are you doing this? You have her... that girl from the courtyard... she's perfect for someone like you."
Riki pulled back, his hands framing your face with a desperate, trembling intensity. His dark eyes were wild with fear and fierce anger. "Are you insane? That girl means absolutely nothing to me! I loathe her! I was telling her to get away from me because I am entirely, completely in love with you! I've been in love with you since the exact second you laughed at my terrible joke on this exact bridge!"
"But I'm broken, Riki!" you argued back, your voice finally finding its strength, fighting for the truth. "I can't sleep, I panic at everything, I can't even trust a hug without flinching! I am a mess!"
"Then let me love the mess!" Riki shouted over the heavy atmosphere, his thumbs wiping the tears from your cheeks. "I don't want someone perfect. I don't want anyone else. I want the girl who fights every single day just to be here. I want to hold you when you can't breathe at work. I want to be the chest you sleep on at 3:00 AM. I want to love every single piece of you until you finally see how incredible you are. Please. Just let me in."
The raw, unfiltered honesty in his voice burned through the remaining fog in your mind. The cruel voices that had tormented you for years were completely silenced by the sheer force of his words. You weren't a charity case to him. You were his choice.
"Riki," you breathed, your own hands coming up to cover his.
He didn't wait. Riki leaned down and pressed his lips firmly against yours.
The kiss was fierce, desperate, and filled with a profound devotion that communicated everything words couldn't reach. But beneath the cold, it was filled with an overwhelming, consuming warmth. It wasn't a rescue; it was a partnership. You kissed him back with everything you had left, anchoring yourself to him, choosing to fight.
When he finally pulled away by a fraction of an inch, his forehead rested against yours, both of your ragged breaths mingling in the cold air. His arms remained locked around your waist, holding you against his heart.
"I've got you," Riki whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your eyelid, then your temple, and finally your lips again—gentle and lingering this time. "I'm never letting go."
Looking into his eyes on the bridge where your paths had first crossed, the darkness in your mind didn't completely disappear—but for the first time, you knew you had the strength to fight it. Because you weren't fighting alone anymore.
pairings: non-idol bf!jake x non-idol gf!fem reader
genre: smut, nsfw, established relationship
word count: 1.1k
warnings & content: mdni! 18+ explicit language, suggestive themes, unprotected sex (safe sex gois) public sex, jealous sex, p in v, clit play, jake wants the reader only for himself
synopsis: on this dark hotel balcony, jake is showing off exactly where you belong...
now playing: “agora hills” by doja cat
note: @oneandonlyitgirl i came across your hard thoughts about balcony sex with jake and i freaking love the idea!! idk if you'll like it. i just wrote whatever's on my mind lol. 😭✋
It's still 9:30 PM in the evening but here you are, clutching the cold edge of the glass railing, boobs bouncing against the frames, holding on to your dear life as Jake slammed his hips harder behind you. He's fucking you here in your hotel room balcony, showing off to the world how he's giving you the best dick of your life.
Jake hadn’t bothered to undress you fully. The black bikini you had worn all day still clung to your body, though the bottom had been yanked roughly to the side, the strings digging into your hips. The top was barely containing your breasts, which bounced rhythmically with every thrust of Jake’s hips. He was fucking you with a desperate, punishing intensity, right there on the balcony. You’re thankful that no one is outside wandering at this hour, you swear to Jake that you’ll bury him alive if someone sees you in this filthy situation.
“Who’s fucking you good?” Jake whispered into your ears, pressing his bare chest against your back as he nibbled the side of your neck.
“Y-you Jake–Hnggh!” You moaned softly, trying hard not to wake up your neighbors.
Jake thrust slowly, savoring the tightness of your pussy, he stares how both of your body connects, his huge dick stretching your hole deliciously, creaming his length with your arousal.
“This is only for me. Poor them.” He chuckled still watching his dick swallowed by your puffy cunt. Spanking your ass cheek, as possessiveness takes him over.
Just hours ago, while you and Jake were on the beach earlier to watch the breathtaking sunset together, Jake left you for a moment to buy a coconut juice for both of you. While waiting for him, you're standing near the seashore with your mouthwatering bikini when two random guys approach you. Complimenting you about how good looking you are, asking multiple questions, and when you're about to leave, the two guys are still creeping you out. Jake walks into your direction, fuming with anger, with a red face, his eyes looking as if they're about to murder the two guys talking to you. He didn't make a scene. Jake simply walked up, placed a hand on your lower back, and stared them down with a silence that was far more terrifying than yelling. The guys had mumbled apologies and scattered immediately. Jake was quiet the whole evening, not until he fucks you dumb right now.
Remembering how those two guys looked at you made him move even faster. It felt like he was claiming you all over again, wiping away their memory with his intense focus on you. He picked up the pace, his hips slammed on your ass harshly.
"Look at you, taking this big dick of mine," he grunted, sweat dripping from his hair onto your shoulder. "You love being fuck by this huge thing.” he added.
You loved the feeling of him completely filling you. The excitement of getting caught, combined with his deep, powerful movements, made the tension in your stomach tighten. You were getting so close to the edge. The pressure kept building, and you could feel every single stroke of his length, dragging out your juices.
Opening your eyes, you looked down at the dark beach, your head spinning from the intense rhythm. Then, you froze. Two figures stood outside with beers, looking straight up. It was them—the two guys from earlier. Panic flared in your chest, mixed with a strange rush of arousal. They were staring right at the balcony, watching Jake behind you and your bodies pressing wildly against the glass. You tried to pull away to hide, but Jake held you firm.
"J-jake, stop…" you whimpered, your voice breaking. "The guys—"
Jake saw them. He looked over your shoulder, his eyes locking onto the two figures below. He didn't stop. He didn't cover you up. A dark, victorious smirk spread across his face. He shifted his angle, grinding his pelvis against your ass, ensuring they saw exactly who was inside you.
"Let them watch," he growled.
“I wanna show you off.”
He reached around your hip, his fingers finding the sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs. He yanked the fabric of your bikini bottom aside completely, exposing your swollen clit to the cool air and his rough fingers. He began to rub tight, fast circles on the bud, matching the relentless pounding of his cock inside you.
"Jake, p-please!" you cried out, the stimulation too much to bear.
"Cum for me," he commanded, his voice loud, carrying clearly into the night air. "Look at them when you cum on my cock, and show them you’re mine.”
His deep movements and sharp touch pushed you right over the edge. The climax crashed your whole system. Your wet pussy clamped down tight around him, sending waves of heat that made your vision go completely white. You screamed, letting your head fall back against his shoulder, your whole body trembling as the pleasure overwhelmed you
Above you, Jake groaned, his hips stuttering as he chased his own high, watching the two guys below scramble in embarrassment. They turned and ran, disappearing into the darkness, having seen more than they bargained for.
"I just got jealous," he whispered against your skin, his voice tender now, the anger completely drained away. You felt him pouted. “I hate when other guys look at you like that. I just wanted to remind them where you belong."
Jake held you up as your knees gave out, wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you from falling. He pressed soft kisses against your neck, which felt completely different from his rough movements just moments ago. He stayed close and held you tight, but the aggressive urgency was replaced by a protective warmth.
You leaned back against him, your heart racing. The cool glass against your palms was the only thing keeping you grounded.
Your breathing finally slowed down, and a sly smile crept back onto your face. You looked out at the empty beach, then spun around to see Jake's intense gaze.
"Jealousy looks good on you, babe." you teased softly, tracing a finger down his toned chest.
"But if you think that's enough to satisfy your freaky girlfriend, you're mistaken." you said, seducing him with your playful stares.
Jake let out a low laugh, his grip tightening around your waist as he pulled you back inside your room.
˗ˋˏ ♡CW- : explicit language, dirty talk, my obsession with his lips manifested itself into this, petnames, dryhvmping, dirty talk, downbad Riki, spit and tongue stuff, and a whole lot of makeouts<333
! ˚ ༘ ❄︎ ⋆｡ can be read as part of the bestfriend! au or as a stand-alone :)
˚ ༘ ❄︎ ⋆｡˚wordcount— 2.6K
꒰ঌevery 1 already knows English is not my first language໒꒱
Riki has always loved your lips— you know that.
The fullness, the shape, all those yummy smelling chapsticks and pretty glosses you wore constantly made his heart pump faster, stare a little longer. Riki is considerate enough not to go out of his way to accost you…at first. Everything changes after something you’ve since dubbed ‘the incident’.
You were spending what had to be night 7265913 at Riki’s, cuddling while some YouTuber drama droned on from the tv in the background. He was trying to listen— yes, he knows you don’t like Jackie Aina or Patrick Ta and he doesn’t either in solidarity but the point is quickly lost the more he focuses on your bare leg that’s thrown over his waist, soft skin warm and smelling like fresh cream from your shower not even an hour ago.
His thumb is circling the exposed skin of your waist, lidded eyes watching your lips move. You don’t notice at first, only that his hands are gradually moving more— squeezing, caressing, fingertips fluttering near the hem of your shorts. Blood is already traveling south just from being so close to you and honestly it just slips out.
“What’s your favorite part of my body?”
You pause mid sentence to look down at him. Confused because it’s so random but you decide to indulge him. What’s the harm?
If only you trusted your instincts that you know your boyfriend to be a menace and that no amount of soft lighting from the television would change that; you would’ve answered that question over text where it was safe. Instead you study him and the lovely points of his own face. Beauty marks scattered across the perfect expanse of his high cheekbones, sharp jawline, intense eyes and…
“Your lips.”
Riki was attractive through and through but the one thing about him that always stood out to you was his lips.
“So full and soft..”, you lean down to give him a firm kiss, voice low and hypnotic. “All pink and pretty…”.
You don’t get to say much else because after that you immediately find yourself on your back with him on top of you.
The tv noise becomes fuzz in your head when he slots his mouth over yours, kissing you like it’s something he’d been holding back all day and you had no clue what you just set free. Thick lips move hungrily against your gasping mouth, one hand tightening around your waist while the other clasps around your throat. The sudden onslaught of fire that courses through you is so molten it leaves you breathless as you let out a weak whine.
Riki’s broad tongue laps the sound up as he slides his tongue in your mouth. You let him take you over, stroking the muscle with your own tongue and he feels his eyes flutter behind closed lids.
He’ll never get tired of this.
There’s something about the wet push and pull of your swollen lips, your heady, sweet taste against his pallet with the delicious pressure of how hard he is as you start to grind together— it’s heaven. You’re so warm too, so tender beneath him that it makes him ravenous.
Ripping his mouth off yours, you struggle in a deep breath while Riki sucks your bottom lip, holding you closer, purring low in his chest before surging his mouth back over yours.
The kiss is wetter now, his hand tightening around your neck as he kisses you with open mouth. You sound so good, taste so good, feel so fucking good he’s getting goosebumps and you’re lightheaded. Each heavy roll of his hips grinds his engorged length harder between your pussy lips; through your clothes and right over your throbbing clit.
Hotly, the swollen plushness of his lips give under the pressure he’s on yours with as your hearts race. It’s too much— twisting your head away to breathe, not even that stops him because the second you open your mouth to pant out his name so he can wait, he’s already sucking your tongue with a shameless desperation.
Liquid heat bowls down to your gut and your hips jerk up, the wet fabric of your panties catching so perfectly on your clit while Niki kisses you blind. He can’t stop— doesn’t want to either and it gets so much better when your fingers rake through his scalp, leaving a hail of shivers down his spine when they tighten along the sensitive hair on the nape of his neck. The air in the room has gone from warm to sweat-inducing— his heavy kisses growing drenched and sticky, lips smacking together as you flood his system.
Gasping for air, Niki pulls back no further than he absolutely has to but he’s still unable to withstand the borderline fever taking over him, resting his forehead back on yours. The proximity doesn’t help—he’s so turned on he can’t even think straight.
“All pink and pretty…”, your voice rings in his head.
Fuck.
It’s too strong—too hot, scorching a trickling trail below his bellybutton. He needs more. The way you writhe against him; shared saliva coating your lips and palette only sharpens the edges of his lust when he whispers against your wet lips,
“Open your mouth, baby. Gimme your tongue.”
Your heart skips. Squeezing your thighs around his middle, you look—really look— at him. His chest is heaving like he’s run a marathon and gearing up to run 10 more, his pupils completely span his iris with his skin flushed to all hell with a wet mouth and puffy lips. You must take too long to answer because he thrusts his hips down into yours like he’s fucking you, whining needily at your lips.
“Open— please—need it, pretty..”. Fuck.
If you were better at heeding warnings, you’d have pushed him off of you then and there but because you’re a dumbass who likes the stupid prizes you get from playing stupid games— you open your mouth and let your tongue fall out.
Groaning raw in his throat, the sight sends a pang straight to his dick making it throb where it’s pressed against you. Warm breaths coast into your mouth when he coos against the sensitive wetness on your spit-slick tastebuds and you’re so aroused even your cunt seems to have her own heartbeat.
“Look at it twitch…so sensitive”, he whispers, eyes dazed and blown. “Just like your pussy, yeah?”
His answer is a wrecked little moan when he presses his lips to your drenched tongue in a filthy wet smooch— letting his own tongue fall out to lap hotly up the length of yours, eyes lidded in the filthy bliss of it all. The constricting of your oxygen tips your body into oversensitivity as Riki sucks the wriggling muscle into his mouth.
Hes being gross, he knows but your mouth. A low groan vibrates his chest.
You can’t think anymore— blood thrumming while moans spill from your throat, ears burning with every slurp followed by a messy grind into your cunt. The sounds of your sloppy kissing ring out utterly depraved, completely debauched as you both go on like that. Right up until that restless jittery heat crashes over and he drags you into its searing depths with him— shaking from the intensity.
For a second, you think you blackout until you feel a heavy weight on top of you paired with puffy lips suckling and biting at your cheeks and jaw. He shudders at the sound you make when he drags his teeth down, scraping them down your pulse with fluttering teases of tongue.
Riki swears he’s losing his mind. Despite what just happened he’s still rock hard like he didn’t just cum all in his boxers and he doesn’t know what to do with himself with you looking up at him so dazed and pretty— lips shining with spit.
While it ended up being a long night for you, his kissy streak didn’t end there.
It starts to become an obsession.
Whenever he remembers that you not only find him attractive but that his lips are your favorite the same way your lips are his and suddenly he’s tugging you away with excuses of there being some emergency only to find out the ‘emergency’ is his need to have you flat to the nearest surface with his annoyingly juicy lips on yours.
“Just a little bit, babydoll— please?”
And you’re just as bad because even when you know Riki likes to take a mile out of an inch, leaving you with slick dripping down the inside of your leg while his mouth sucks away at yours; you still say yes every time.
You’re playing with fire and he takes full advantage of it. After all, your friends still don’t know you two are way past friendship and dating now but Riki truly can’t help it. He just wants to touch, wants to discover all the nasty things you’d let him to you— devilish eyes and that smart mouth moaning that you’re his. He’d do anything you wanted just to have you sweet and dripping— pliant as you are now.
“Niki…”, he watches your spit slick lips gasp his name with hazy eyes; crowding you on top of the sink inside the lavish bathroom.
Part of him feels guilty because this certainly isn’t the place or the time. You’re his plus one for his sisters wedding yet as the laughing, music and dancing go on outside; drunk guests stumbling about— he’s got you in here.
It’s really not his fault.
You look good enough to eat but the same sentiment also more than applies to him. His suit jacket is long abandoned, sleeves of his crisp white shirt rolled to his elbows with a couple buttons undone to fight the heat pumping through him as his tie hangs off his neck and oh god his haircut.
Sliding the soft satin of your dress up, he takes your calf in hand, keeping his eyes locked on yours while he kisses down to the inside of your knee before wrapping it around his waist and doing the same to your other leg. Biting his lip when he rasps out a groan, voice honey slick.
“I can’t wait until this is us one day,”
The nagging feeling of the cold sink beneath your ass with your back plastered to the mirror evaporates under his mouth. He kisses you slow this time but no less consuming— letting you really feel those flames licking up your body making you melt for him. Your head dips back and he follows, sloppily lapping into the wet cavern with a mean suck to your lips, growling at the throaty moan that shoots from you.
“After I put a pretty ring on your finger and ruin you just like you’ve ruined me.”
Riki won’t deny the pleasure that pulses in his chest when you choke at his words, staring at him with wide eyes before he’s kissing you again.
As he swallows your whimpers, tongue slotting against yours, he swears that each match you’ve struck with him has been soaked in gasoline because this need to breathe the oxygen from your very lungs can’t be normal.
He’s messily feeding off the wet, pleasured moans from your mouth but he’s still starving. His cheeks hallow from the suction he’s using on your tongue, spit leaving a messy trail on your chins. Pretty nails drag up the expanse of his wide shoulders, trying to hold on so you don’t get carried away but Riki is determined.
The kiss becomes sweltering; heady and sappy like melted molasses. His full lips smack tackily against yours thanks to the gloss he’s already half licked off you as his tongue flicks to taste, laving against the roof of your mouth, back molars—even the inside of your cheeks. Your hitching breath is just as sweet, just as longing; sugar in the endless depths of his want and oh—
You dissolve like fresh cotton candy.
When he finally lets you push him off, the warmed air has a tangible current as you stare each other down, chests heaving.
He’s a mess.
Your lip stain painted across his mouth like a condemning verdict, pressed shirt undone and wrinkled now. Reception be damned, you just want him to take you home because you have a feeling—
“M’sorry baby, got a little carried away but how about this? One more kiss and I swear I’ll be good”— is a total lie.
You’ll give him one more and it’ll give to a second one that’ll be heavier, then the third—wetter, the fourth even sloppier. Anything after that he’ll be between your legs dry-humping you to a screeching orgasm then using the mess as lube to fuck you senseless all while kissing you like he’ll run out of air if he doesn’t.
Blood is already pooling in his groin, solidifying his hunger as he kisses you again, swollen length rutting against you harder. Your hands fist tight in his hair and Riki moans, lapping at you filthier. A large hand braces along your back to feel it arch and curve; ready to keep your mouth flush to his puffy lips as he flips your dress up and—
“Aah! W-wait”, you throw your head in the opposite direction, pleading before you end up giving in.
“Home, let’s go home— not here…”, you trail off while he’s no longer trying to actively consume you; taking the opening and running with it while you have his attention.
“I don’t think your sister would appreciate us ruining the sanctity of her very expensive wedding venue bathroom..”
Goddamnit.
He lets out a heavy sigh into your cleavage because you’re right. If he was trying to get Konon to never speak to him again— being caught like this with you on one of the most significant occasions in her life would certainly do the job.
Then again, he’s fucking hard.
The throbbing of his dick is incessant, visibly stiff through his slacks. It’s borderline painful when he captures your mouth in one final bruising kiss. Enjoying the wetness of your equally swollen lips before pulling away with a feverish lick to the inside of your cheek. You’re left gasping while Riki looks at you like he didn’t do that on purpose, flinging your body into lava with his mouth alone.
Riki helps you down and you two make yourselves as presentable as you can. It’s a feat that you manage to ignore his hands on your waist when you bend over, facing the mirror to touch up your makeup and redo your lip combo. He’s shameless then too—grinding his erection between your asscheeks as he watches you line and gloss your lips through dark molten eyes, biting his lip until you’re done.
Opening the door for you, hungry eyes stare you down as you stroll through, flicking him a look of your own.
“You okay? You look a little winded, baby.”
The smirk is audible, his teasing voice laced with amusement. Of course the correct thing to do would be to ignore him. Again, if you liked living without an ice pack to your mouth and back pain later— you wouldn’t provoke him.
Oh well.
“Cute. You pitch a tent like that for all campers or just me?”
He swears, the curse hissed lowly into your ear as you make your way towards his family, smiling at the beautiful bride as you get closer to the long table with every step.
“Mhmm, keep playing with me.”
You’re snickering now but he couldn’t be more serious as that little voice warning you about playing stupid games gets louder. Riki lets out a strained breath, his hand pressing into your lower back, more than a little pent up and you’re only making it worse when you quickly turn to look at him.
“Go suck it.”
You mouth, drawing dangerously closer to their table and you’ll live to regret that later as he leans down over your shoulder to whisper in your ear.
“Baby, that’s the tamest thing I’m gonna do to you.”
warnings: language, making out, fingering, piv, reader talks about class, protected sex !!,
please reblog ♡ !!
₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚
maki knows that you're a virgin. it was one of the first personal things you told him about yourself.
and you've been together for a few months now. he never asked for anything from you, he never pressured you, and he made sure you knew that he's ready whenever you are.
but you can't help but feel like you were holding your relationship back. you know maki wanted to have sex—every guy did, and with him being an idol, you were sure he needs some way to release all the pent-up stress from his life.
you just can't get out of your own head. you're scared, nervous, unsure—a swirling mess of feelings you wish you could switch off.
but you trust him.
you trust him over anyone else in the whole world to be the one who takes your virginity. and you can't help but get wet at the thought of sex becoming a regular thing between you two.
you just need to ask him first.
-
maki arrived at your place after practice exhausted, an hour prior, he sent you a text letting you know he'd stop by.
it’s become a regular part of your schedule now: wanting to look ready every time you’re alone with your boyfriend. you take a shower, shave, moisturize, put on a cute set underneath your clothes in hopes that today you’ll have the courage to initiate something.
you always tell yourself that today is the day you'll ask. today is the day you'll finally make a move.
but today you're serious.
you're serious because you overheard something from maki the other day.
"yuma, don't say that." maki said quietly, glancing over at you who was asleep on the couch beside him.
"it's just a question. i mean the two of you are adorable but you seem too careful with her." he leaned back into the couch as he spoke, running a hand through his hair.
maki mirrored his movements, sighing, "it's not anything bad, it's just..." he bit his lip in thought, searching for the right words. "personal. its something you don't need to know, alright? and im not careful with her. what does that even mean." he muttered the last sentence under his breath.
"she practically eye fucks you every other minute, maki. I bet you're just scared." yuma teased, his arm stretching out to shove maki softly.
maki looked at him in disbelief. "you don't know what you're saying, yuma."
yuma laughs, "what? don't tell me you're afraid you'll finish too fast with her or something."
maki watched you with a soft look, shaking his head. "it has nothing to do with me. If it was up to me, I would've done something a long time ago." he squeezes his eyes shut, a dramatic sigh leaving him. "it goes both ways, yuma."
yuma nodded his head, "yeah, no, you're right." he reached over for the tv remote. "you have talked to her about it though, right? because maybe she wants the first word from you."
maki scratched the top of his head, shaking his head at his member.
yuma's face was one of disbelief and shock. "so you wanna fuck but you don't wanna talk. I don't understand you anymore, bro."
maki rolled his eyes, his finger coming up to him mouth. gesturing for yuma to lower his voice. "she's sleeping right there, dude. lower your voice."
you stopped listening after that, drifting back to sleep on the couch. but the conversation played over and over again in your mind for days after.
you stand anxiously in the kitchen, your mind racing as you stared at the two plates of food you've prepared while maki showered.
what feels like forever while you were alone with your own thoughts comes to an end as you heard his voice.
"are those for us?" he asked, using his head to gesture to the plates. he drops the wet hair towel on a chair before walking over to you. he smells like your citrus body wash and something darker underneath—the faint trace of his cologne and the musk of his skin that you'd know blindfolded.
you nod, smiling at him as he stood in front of you. "I'm starving, babe. you have no idea." he gives you a kiss on the cheek, picking a plate up. "come on, let's go eat."
the two of you dug in as maki told you about his day and how tiring it was.
when he looked up at you, he noticed you'd barely touched your food. his face scrunching softly in concern as he watches you take a few tiny bites, your spoon just pushing the contents around the plate.
"y/n? is everything okay?"
your eyes meet his puzzled ones. "yeah. sorry I was just thinking of something that happened in, um, class the other day."
he nods his head, thankfully buying your white lie.
the next hour continued like this—a blur of him talking and you listening, your heart thumping with a nervous rhythm.
maki has his arm wrapped around you, settling on your hip as you lean into him on the couch. the two of you watch a random youtube video on the television, the flickering light painting his face in shifting blue and shadow, making his features glow under the faint lights.
you grabbed his other hand, placing a soft kiss on his knuckles. "maki..."
he turned his head, his eyebrows knitting together. "yeah?" his eyes never leaving yours.
you slipped out of his hold, moving to straddle his hips, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the warm skin of his neck. your tongue darting out just barely. you'd love to mark him there, wanting to see deep red and purple bruises bloom against his pale skin.
his hands settled on your waist, stretching his neck to give you more room.
"maki, I think... " you pause your movements, chewing on your bottom lip. "i think i'm ready."
his eyes widened, his dark pupils expanding as shock, surprise, and raw excitement warred across his features. "a-are you sure?" he tried to suppress it, not wanting to seem too eager, but the slight tremor in his hands gave him away,
you nodded your head, "I've been thinking about it a lot." you press a kiss to his jaw, moving towards his ear. "i've been thinking about you a lot."
he sucked in a sharp breath, his hands that were on your body fidgeting. he couldn't believe this was happening.
the air around you shifts.
maki manages to calm his brain, gently, he cups your face in his hands, thumbs stroking your cheekbones. he studies you like he’s memorizing the moment. "you’re sure?" he asks again, quieter this time.
"yes," you whisper. "I want you to."
Something in his expression cracks—like his restraint giving way to something hungrier. something deeper. he pushes you gently down against the cushions, climbing over you, staring into your eyes with a heavy look—need, lust, and careful restraint all warring for dominance.
he climbed on top of you, staring into your eyes deeply. a heavy look rested in his eyes, a mixture of need, lust and restraint.
"oh yeah?" his lips hovered over yours as he spoke. "what do you think about when you're alone?"
you gasp, feeling his cold hands slide underneath your shirt, fingers leaving goosebumps in their trail. you can't help but notice the way the veins stood out against his skin, how his own two hands could swallow your waist.
you whimpered when he stopped his hands right under your bra, his hands pushing the shirt up, silently asking you to take it off.
and you do. you hurriedly tugged it off of your body, laying back down on your back as your chest heaved. you felt shy under his gaze, not used to being so exposed to him in such an intimate setting.
but you pushed that side of you away, your hands sliding down to tug off your shorts as well. leaving you in the pretty set you wore just for him.
you took in a deep breath, calming your nerves. "I..." your eyes dart all over his face, trying to read him from the outside. "I always think about the way your hands would feel on me. how you would touch me if I told you that you could."
as you spoke, his hands began crossing your body. going from your waist down to your hips to your legs, a phantom touch left in its wake. the rough calluses on his palms created a delicious friction against your smooth skin.
"mhm, what else, baby."
you closed your eyes, trying your best to gather your thoughts into sentences. but god, was it hard with the affect that his touch had on you.
"the way you'd stretch me out with your fingers before we did anything else," you shut your eyes tightly, chest heaving as you imagined everything.
maki's hands were huge. the amount of times you fantasized about them was shameful. the way they'd look and feel wrapped around your neck, applying just the right amount of pressure as he pounded into with no remorse.
his fingers curled around the fabric of your panties, slowly dragging the thin piece of clothing off your body before discarding it on the floor.
he pressed a kiss against your bare thigh, resting his forehead there for a moment. he needed to recollect himself before he did too much too soon.
"maki..." you mumbled, you felt an unignorable ache in between your legs.
you grabbed his wrist, guiding his hand to nest in between your thighs. your hips bucked up, desperate for some friction.
your grip on him remained tight, pathetic whines and moans leaving you. "please, maki, touch me. do something." your watery eyes stared at him in need.
"fuck," he muttered, his breathing getting heavier as he nodded his head. one of his hands pressed against your thigh, pushing it open for him.
the sight of your glistening folds made his head spin. he couldn't believe he was looking at you so bare and vulnerable for him.
"look at me," he says, voice rough and commanding. "don't close your eyes. I want to see you."
he brought his fingers over to your entrance, swashing them in the warm wetness that flooded out of you.
he really wanted to taste you. but he'd wait for that, he wanted nothing more than to see how you would look, your body shaking and trembling as high pitched moans flew out your pretty mouth. or maybe your moans would be deeper, erupting from your chest as your head was knocked back against the pillows.
his cock ached at the thought.
his lubricated fingers traveled up to your clit, rubbing slow circles on it.
a choked sob escaped your lips, your back arching off the couch as a jolt of pleasure shot through you. his touch confident, deliberate, and each circle he drew on your clit sending another wave of heat through your already burning body.
he watched you, his dark eyes intense and focused, drinking in every twitch of your muscles, every gasp that fell from your mouth.
"maki," you whimpered, your hands fisting in the cushions beside your head. "please…"
your hips twitched, knocking your head back as you whined.
god, he loved hearing you beg for him. his cock jumping at every sound escaping your lips. he could already feel a wet patch on his boxers sticking to the tip of his swollen cock.
your fingers reached down, wrapping around his hand as you pulled them away.
"maki, please." your glossy eyes stared into his. "I need more, I need to feel you."
his breath hitched at your words, his body stilling. he needed to take a second, he had to remind himself to be patient with you. to be gentle. but now he's rethinking if that's what you really want from him.
"okay," he said quietly, "I'll give you more, baby, but I need to open you up a bit more f'me, yeah?"
with a pout, you nodded your head. you felt him shift his weight as one slick finger slowly pressed into your entrance. the stretch a dull pressure that bloomed into a deep, throbbing ache as he worked it deeper, his eyes locked on yours, watching for any sign of discomfort.
"relax for me, pretty," he murmured, his other hand stroking your hip soothingly. "breathe."
you tried, you really did, but it was all overwhelming. his finger inside you moving at a slow, shallow thrusting motion that had your toes curling. he added a second finger, the stretch a pleasurable burn that had your head lolling back when he curled his fingers inside you.
"oh god," you cried out, your body arching onto his. "right there, maki—"
"here?" He did it again, rubbing against that sensitive bundle of nerves with a steady rhythm that had you climbing higher and higher. his thumb found your clit, rubbing in sync with the thrusts of his fingers.
"maki, I'm gonna… I'm gonna cum," you choked out, your eyes rolling back as the coil in your stomach tightened.
"cum for me," he urged, his voice strained. "cum on my fingers. I want to feel it." his voice whispered right beside your ear, his hips just barely rutting against your thigh.
with a loud moan, your orgasm crashed over you, waves of pleasure crashing over you. your inner walls clenching around his fingers as your body trembled uncontrollably as he worked you through it, prolonging the high until you were a whimpering and begging for him to stop.
he slowly withdrew his fingers, and you watched, dazed, as he brought them to his lips, his eyes never leaving yours as he licked them clean.
"you taste so much better than I imagined," he said, his voice husky. he leaned down, capturing your lips in a deep kiss. you moaned against his lips as you could faintly taste yourself on his tongue.
he broke the kiss, resting his forehead against yours. "a-are you still sure you wanna continue?" he asked, his breathing ragged.
you reach between your bodies, palming the hard length of his cock through his sweatpants. he hissed, his hips jerking into your touch as he muttered a curse.
"yes," you whispered, your voice firm. "I'm sure, ki."
he stood up, stripping off his shirt and pants in a few quick movements, and your breath caught at the sight of him. he was all lean muscle and smooth skin, his cock standing at his fullest, a bit dark hair growing at the base. the tip was flushed, already beading with precum. he grabbed a condom from his wallet, rolling it on with practiced ease before settling back between your legs.
he positioned himself at your entrance, his gaze locked with yours. "I'll go slow," he promised, his voice thick with emotion. "I'll do my best, just tell me if you need me to stop."
you nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down for another kiss as he slowly began to push inside you. the stretch was more intense this time, a sharp and unpleasant feeling that had you tensing up.
his brows furrowed at the sight of your face, his heart clenching.
"I know, I'm sorry, baby," he murmured against your lips, pausing to let you adjust. "just breathe and relax yourself."
you forced yourself to relax, breathing through the discomfort, and as he began to move again, the pain slowly began to fade, replaced by a deep, full feeling that was strangely pleasurable.
he was watching you so intently, his movements slow and careful, until he was fully sheathed inside you.
"how do you feel?" he asked, his voice gentle as he waited for your response.
your hips twitched on their own accord, causing you to bite back a moan. "it feels way better now." a small smile on your face as he brought your hand to his mouth, placing a small kiss.
he began to move. a slow, shallow rhythm that gradually built itself up. with each thrust, the pleasure intensified, the burning sensation completely gone and replaced by a deep, throbbing ache that had you craving more. you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper.
The sounds of you two filled the room—the slap of skin on skin, your breathless moans and his deep groans and curses.
he shifted his angle, his cock brushing against that sensitive spot inside you, and you cried out, your nails digging into his shoulders.
"Right there?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched you lose yourself on the pleasure he was giving you.
you dumbly nodded your head, barely getting words out of your mouth. "yes! yes, fuck, ki, it feels so good."
his hips snapped against yours, the coil in your stomach tightening again, and you could feel your second orgasm building, more inrense than the last.
"baby," you cried out, your head thrown back in ecstasy. "I'm close. im gonna cum again."
"Cum with me, baby," he urged, his voice ragged. "yeah? you gonna cum all around my big cock?"
again you nodded, mind fuzzy as you moaned.
his words sent you over the edge, and with a final thrust, you shattered. your orgasm ripping through you as he followed you over a moment later with a hoarse cry, his body shuddering against yours. his head dropped to your shoulder as he filled the condom with his release.
he collapsed against you, his body heavy and spent, his face still buried in the crook of your neck. you held him close, your bodies slick with sweat and your cum. even your hearts beating in a frantic, synchronized rhythm.
after a long moment, he lifted his head, his eyes soft and full of an emotion that made your chest ache. "I love you," he said, his voice thick with emotion.
you pulled him down for a tender kiss. "I love you too," you whispered against his lips. "thank you for being so patient."
his smile made your heart skip a beat. "Anything for you," he said, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Always."
in which: niki comes over every weekend to pick up your daughter, however he can no longer handle the distance you put between the two of you.
a/n: i think this is the longest fic ive ever wrote lmao and i’m kinda nervous to post it. it definitely isn’t perfect but i really like it so i hope you do too! every like & reblog is greatly appreciated, it helps more than you know <3
warnings: not proofread! , lowercase intended , pet names: baby / princess / love / baby girl (used on reader & their daughter) , niki is yearninggg , desperate ki , angst if you squint , fluff? - please lmk if i missed anything worth adding!
the knock on your apartment door comes at exactly ten o’clock - just how it usually does.
you swing open the door with your 2 year old daughter, Aria, balanced on your hip, her tiny hands wrapped around a stuffed, green duck that’s missing one wing.
“daddy!” she squeals and kicks her legs, trying to slide down your hip.
Riki’s expression softens instantly.
there’s something unfair about it, actually. how easy he smiles at her - how familiar he looks standing in your doorway dressed in that black hoodie and grey sweatpants. like he belongs there.
but he doesn’t. not anymore.
he reaches for her automatically, lifting her up and squeezing her tightly. “hey, princess.”
you watch him pull Aria against his chest as her little arms wrap around his neck.
and then he looks at you.
then there it is - that awkward pause, the one that happens every weekend.
“hi.” he says quietly.
“hi.”
neither of you move - neither of you say anything else. because what is there to say, honestly?
“have a good weekend”
“see you on sunday”
“i miss you”
the last one never makes it past either or your lips.
“okay, princess. shoes on.” Riki says, after clearing his throat, as he places her gently on the ground in front of you. you kneel and help her put on her trainers, fastening the velcro with shakier hands than you’d ever admit. you hate how he still affects you.
“there we go,” you smile at her before standing.
the silence settles again - it always does.
you watch as your daughter turns to pick up her bag, the hoodie you’re wearing slipping off one shoulder. his hoodie. at least, it used to be.
Riki tries not to stare. he really does. when your miniature self holds up her backpack to him and he doesn’t take it, you look up at him. he’s staring at you.
at his hoodie you’re wearing. at the necklace he gave you a few months before you told him you were pregnant. at your nails which were now a different colour from when he saw you last weekend.
“daddy!” Aria exclaims, her bag becoming too heavy for her little arms.
he looks down instantly, shaking his head, and picks her up. “sorry, love.”
“she ate breakfast already,” you say quietly. “there’s some snacks in her bag.”
he nods simply. “okay.”
you nod.
neither of you say goodbye when he turns towards the open door. because somehow, after all this time of being apart, saying it out loud feels too permanent.
your daughter saves you both.
“bye, mommy!”
you laugh, stepping closer to kiss her forehead. “i’ll see you on sunday, okay? have fun.”
then she turns to him. “let’s go, daddy!”
he should leave. but instead, his eyes lift to yours once more.
you’re smiling. tired. soft. pretty.
the same smile he used to wake up beside. the same smile he hasn’t stopped missing.
his throat becomes tight as he peels his eyes off your face and turns to leave one last time. Aria waves at you as he carries her down the hallway towards the elevator.
you stand at the door until they’ve disappeared around the corner. and only then do you exhale the breath that felt like you’d been holding since he knocked on the door.
—
the walk to his sleek, black mercedes feels much longer than it actually is. he can’t help his mind racing with thoughts of you. the way you smiled at your daughter so lovingly. the way your face completely changed when you caught him looking at you for a moment too long.
he shakes his head and sets the tiny human into her car seat before bucking the seatbelt. he checks it twice before shutting the door and sliding into the driver’s seat.
he should drive away. he turns the key, the engine purring to life beneath him, but he doesn’t pull away from the curb. he almost gets back out of the car before Aria speaks softly from the backseat.
“daddy?”
he blinks, his fingers loosening from the steering wheel. his knuckles are white.
“are we going?” she asks and he turns to look at her over his shoulder.
“yeah,” he smiles lovingly before shifting the car into gear and pulling away from the curb.
the drive is quiet. Aria tells him about the picture you helped her draw yesterday and how she wants pancakes for lunch.
he answers when he’s supposed to, but all he can think about is you. standing in the doorway wearing his hoodie, the sleeves pulled tightly over your hands, looking at him like he’s still someone you want to know.
“daddy!” Aria exclaims.
“hm?” he doesn’t take his eyes off the road.
“you forgot,”
“forgot what, baby?”
she frowns like it’s obvious. “to say goodbye to mommy.”
his fingers tighten on the steering wheel again. he doesn’t take his eyes off the road.
for a long moment, the only sounds in the car are the low hum of the engine and the blow of the air conditioning. then he swallows.
“i don’t think…” his voice comes out more unsure than expected. “i don’t think i’m very good at saying goodbye to mommy.”
Aria tilts her head to the side. “why?”
he laughs because how is he supposed to explain this to a two year old?
how is he supposed to tell her that every time he stands in the doorway, some part of him expects you to let him walk back inside. that every time you smile at him, he remembers what it felt like to come home to you.
he blinks hard and lets out a small breath through his nose. “i just miss her sometimes, princess.”
“i miss you too, daddy.” she says softly.
he swallows hard. he almost stops breathing. he glances in the rearview mirror and sees Aria looking out of the window, her little legs swinging slightly beneath her car seat like she hasn’t just shattered his heart.
he exhales shakily. “you do?”
she nods. “yeah. when i’m at mommy’s house.”
silence fills the car and his fingers grip the steering wheel tighter than ever. because he misses her when she’s gone. every week he counts down the days until he gets to see her again.
because somewhere between missing his daughter and missing you, he’s started to hate sundays.
—
at some point during the drive back to Riki’s house, he thinks Aria had fallen asleep in the backseat. she was silent, clutching her stuffed duck to her chest like it was the only thing keeping her there.
“you okay, baby?” Riki speaks softly from the driver’s seat. his daughter nods.
minutes later, he pulls up in the driveway and puts the car in park. he rounds the car and unbuckles Aria’s seatbelt before helping her out and grabbing her backpack.
once inside, he immediately begins taking off her trainers before heading to the kitchen to make the pancakes she asked for.
he watches her run into the living room and drop onto the rug before pulling a colouring book out of her backpack. then he blinks and she’s beside him.
“can i help?” she smiles, already struggling to drag over a stool from the counter.
he laughs and helps her up onto the stool.
he’s always careful with her. always making sure she washes her hands after using the bathroom. always making sure her laces are tied and that she’s wearing a jacket or a coat before going outside.
and he loves her just as much as he loves you.
that evening, Riki lets Aria help make the pancakes, laughing when she makes a mess all over the counter, before they settle onto the couch together to eat. he shakes his head when she asks silly questions. “daddy, do you like dinosaurs?” and he reads her three bedtime stories before she finally lays down and falls asleep.
once she’s finally asleep, he sits on the edge of her bed and watches her for a while. because in five days, he’ll miss this. again.
when you told him you were pregnant, he almost jumped for joy. he’s always thought about it - the three of you cuddling up on the couch together watching a movie and eating snacks, wearing matching pyjamas, and taking walks through the park with his hand on your lower back while your child jumps beside him.
except, this is everything he didn’t want.
—
“daddy, look! it’s a dinosaur!” Aria exclaims from the living room.
Riki walks towards her and stares down at the green blob on the paper. it’s definitely not a dinosaur but he nods anyway. “it sure is.”
“and this is you!” Aria beams, holding up the drawing proudly.
he squints at the tiny stick figure beside the green blob. “wow. don’t i look handsome.”
his daughter giggles. “no, daddy. you look silly!”
he presses his hand to his chest as if he’s physically hurt. “me? silly? i’m offended.”
her laughter fills the kitchen; its bright, loud, the kind of laugh that makes him laugh too.
actually, he hasn’t laughed that hard in months.
she’s sitting on the rug with a box of crayons scattered around her while the waffles she didn’t eat for breakfast go cold on the coffee table.
“daddy?”
“hm?”
“pink.”
he looks down as Aria holds out a pink crayon. “what about pink, baby?”
“you need pink.”
“for what?”
she points at the paper. “sit.”
Riki laughs. “you’re bossy.”
Aria grins. “sit.”
he sits.
she immediately begins scribbling and he doesn’t even ask what she’s drawing. he just watches her tiny hand move across the page.
at some point, she sticks her tongue out in concentration and his heart does that thing it always does. the thing where it feels too full.
he thinks maybe you’re his favourite part. not the cartoons, not the park, not even the pancakes. just this.
her talking nonsense, her colouring. being here.
being his.
“daddy?”
“yeah, princess?”
she looks up. “i like weekends.”
Riki smiles. “me too.”
she giggles and turns back to her masterpiece.
and suddenly, his chest aches. because weekends end; they always do. he glances at his phone.
sunday. already. too fast.
he swallows hard and looks down at his daughter, specifically where she has green crayon on her cheek. he doesn’t tell her, though.
instead, he just reaches over and gently tucks a wild strand of hair behind her ear. she doesn’t look up - she just keeps colouring.
as if he’ll still be here tomorrow. as if he doesn’t spend every week counting down the days until he gets to see her again.
he blinks once and then stands. “come on, baby.”
she finally looks up. “hm?”
“let’s get you ready.”
she pouts. “already?”
his heart drops to his ass. “yeah.”
she looks down at her picture and then back up at him.
“i stay longer?” she tilts her head.
silence. god, he wishes more than anything she could stay longer. he crouches beside her and cups her cheek with his palm.
“mommy’s waiting for you.”
she thinks about that. blinks. and then asks softly: “can you come too?”
Riki forgets how to breathe - because she’s two - she doesn’t understand why daddy has one house and mommy has another. why weekends happen, why sundays happen.
Aria just knows she likes being with both of you.
he swallows hard. “not today, princess.”
she nods slowly like she’s disappointed but she’s accepting it before reaching for her daddy. “carry.”
Riki immediately lifts her up and she buries her face into his shoulder while one tiny hand fists the fabric of his hoodie. he holds her a little tighter knowing that tomorrow, this house will be quiet again.
his chest tightens. Aria is getting bigger and both Riki and you know she is. her words are becoming clearer, her clothes keep getting too small, and she keeps asking questions he doesn’t quite know how to answer.
but right now, she’s still small enough to fit perfectly in his arms. so he holds her tightly like she’ll disappear if he lets go just a little.
“you ready to go see mommy?” he asks quietly while carding his fingers through her locs.
Aria nods against his shoulder. there’s none of the excitement she’d had when she arrived at his house on friday. she’s tired… and so is he.
Riki grabs her stuffed duck from the couch before stuffing it into her backpack.
he turns around to scan the living room for anything he might forget. but all he sees is one of her socks peeking out from under the couch, a tiny cup with cartoon animals on it, and her crayons still scattered on the rug.
little reminders that she’s been here - little reminders that in a few minutes, she won’t be.
his chest feels unbearably tight.
every weekend. every weekend he gets this; two days of cartoons and little giggles and tiny arms around his neck.
and then it’s over in the blink of an eye.
he shakes his head before flicking off the light and heading for the door.
the evening air is cool when he steps outside. his fighter is tucked securely against his chest as he makes his way to his car. she yawns, long and dramatic, before her body goes even heavier in his arms.
a small laugh escapes Riki’s throat. “you tired, baby girl?”
she nods once. small.
“you had a busy weekend, huh?”
another nod.
Riki smiles and presses a gentle kiss to the top of Aria’s head.
by the time he reaches his car, he thinks she’s already asleep in his arms. he unlocks the door with a beep of his keys and swings open the back door before lowering his tiny human into her car seat.
she makes a small noise of protest as he peels her away from his chest. her sleepy eyes blink open just enough to find him.
“there we go.” Riki mumbles as he buckles her seatbelt.
she doesn’t say anything, just watches him with heavy eyes. then, quietly: “daddy?”
he looks up. “yeah?”
“i had fun.”
he stills. it’s such a simple sentence, four little words, but somehow they hit in right in the chest. then he smiles back at her. softer this time.
“me too, baby.”
Aria smiles once more before her eyes slowly drift shut. Riki doesn’t move; he stays crouched beside the open car door for a moment, watching her breathing softly.
the he slowly stands and closes the door.
he walks round to the driver’s side and slid into the seat before resting his hands on the steering wheel. for a few seconds, he doesn’t start the car - he just sits there. listening to the quiet because he already misses her… and she’s still right behind him.
eventually, he starts the engine. the soft hum of the car fills the silence as he glances in the rear-view mirror.
Aria is still sleeping, her head tilted awkwardly to one side. her curls are messy from her exciting day with daddy, and there's still a faint mark on her cheek from the green crayon.
he almost smiles. almost.
his heart aches instead.
the drive to your apartment isn't long; Riki's done it enough times to know every turn, every shortcut, every set of traffic lights.
he also remembers driving this same route two years ago with you in the passenger seat. you were exhausted after a long night with the baby, your head resting against the window while he drove aimlessly to get Aria to sleep.
you'd looked so tired, so perfect, when you looked at him and smiled. "you're a good dad, you know."
the memory hits him unexpectedly and he swallows hard.
the light ahead turns red, forcing him to stop, before the car falls silent again. he glances in the mirror at Aria's sleeping form, a tiny frown has appeared on her face.
a few more minutes pass before familiar buildings begin appearing outside the window.
no matter how normal this arrangement has become, no matter how many months have passed, his throat always tightens as soon as he turns onto your street. because you're here and you'll open the door in a few minutes and he'll see you and pretend everything is normal... and then he'll have to leave again.
he pulls up outside your apartment and turns off the engine.
silence.
the curtains are drawn. the hallway light is on.
home. not his - not anymore.
he exhales slowly and unbuckles his seatbelt before rounding the car to the back door. she’s completely out and he smiles despite himself.
“hey, sleepyhead.” he murmurs.
nothing.
he carefully unbuckles her seatbelt and slides his arms beneath her warm, sleeping body. Aria stirs slightly before immediately tucking herself against his chest.
like she belongs there.
he kicks the door shut gently with his foot before walking towards your apartment. each step feels strangely heavy, and by the time he reaches the elevator, his breaths are coming a little too fast.
the elevator doors ding and slide open as he places a kiss to the top of Aria’s head.
by the time he reaches your door, his hands are shaky. he shifts her in his arms and raises an arm to knock.
then he waits.
—
the door doesn’t open straight away. Riki stands there silently - your daughter pressed against his chest, her little hand fisting his hoodie.
the dim light casts a soft glow over the two of them in the hallway, and for a moment, all he can hear is her slow breathing and the tv from one of the neighbouring apartments.
then he hears the footsteps and his heart does a stupid jolt when the lock clicks.
the door opens. and there you are.
your hair is messy, like you’d tied it up but given up halfway through. you’re wearing an oversized jumper and a pair of shorts - looking comfortable, tired, like you’d been curled up on the sofa waiting for them to get back.
looking like home.
neither of you say anything first. then your eyes drop to your daughter curled up in his arms. the corners of your mouth curl into a small smile at the sight - her sleeping silently on his chest.
then your eyes lift to his and something changes… it’s so brief he almost thinks he imagined it.
but your smile softens even more. because his hand is rubbing softly up and down her back, because he’s holding her carefully…
because he looks exactly like he did two years ago when you used to take turns getting up to warm a bottle for a crying baby.
“she fell asleep?” you ask quietly, your voice barely a whisper.
Riki blinks. “yeah,” his own voice softens more than he’d intended. “about ten minutes before we got here.”
you smile again, glancing down at your daughter. “looks like she had fun.”
neither of you notice how close you’ve gotten - or maybe you have but neither of you say anything.
for a few seconds, everything feels strangely normal.
“oh… come in.” you smile awkwardly as you step to the side to let Riki inside.
he steps inside and immediately heads to Aria’s bedroom.
you follow close behind him, watching the way he moves down the hallways of your apartment. like he’s done it a thousand times before. he has. like he still lives here. he doesn’t.
you stand in the doorway and watch as he leans over her bed and gently places her down under the duvet before slipping off her shoes.
you watch how he’s so careful with her, like one wrong move will break her. like she’s the most precious thing in the world. but to him, she is. and to you, she’s your everything.
he pulls her blanket up to her chin and strokes her cheek twice before quietly stepping back, careful not to wake her.
the apartment falls silent as you softly pull Aria’s bedroom door shut. when you turn around, Riki is standing there, hands tucked into his pockets. waiting.
neither of you speak at first. you both just stand there, looking at each other as if you both know this feels wrong. as if you both know this isn’t how it was supposed to be. as though you both know, deep down, it doesn’t have to stay this way.
“two days with her doesn’t feel enough anymore.” Riki speaks, finally turning your attention to something other than the weight on your chest.
“if you want more time with Aria, we can talk about it.”
he shakes his head before you can finish. “it’s not just that…”
your brows knit together. “then what is it?”
“i know i don’t deserve to ask this after everything that happened,” he breathes, his voice barely above a whisper. “but if there was even the smallest chance that we could try again, i’d take it.”
you sigh and cross your arms over your chest. “Riki, you know we can’t-“
“but we can, y/n!” he steps closer, his eyes search yours frantically. desperate for a sign you haven’t given up. not yet.
“you know we can. if you’d just let me-“
“Riki-“
“no, listen, y/n.” he says firmly and you close your mouth instantly.
he runs a hand over his face before taking the remaining step to fully close the distance between you. his hands land on yours and he threads his fingers through yours. “every sunday, i bring her here, tuck her into bed, and then leave.”
a humourless laugh escapes his throat. “it never gets any easier.”
you blink up at him, speechless.
“you know we’re both standing here acting like this is normal. it isn’t! not one bit.” his hands squeeze yours like he’s afraid if he lets go, you’ll turn and walk away. “we could be better and i know you know that. please give me another chance. for Aria.”
that last part shattered you.
for Aria.
those two words echoed in your mind, pounding on every wall you’d spent months building around your heart.
the thing is, you do know this could be different. you just refuse to be hurt again. you refuse to feel stupid like last time. you can’t ever let yourself become that vulnerable. not again.
“please, baby, give me another chance. i want us to be the family Aria deserves. i don’t want her growing up wondering why we stopped trying.” he whispers.
tears sting your eyes as you let out a shaky breath. “do you think i haven’t imagined it? every single day?” you whisper.
“then why are we still standing here like idiots pretending we don’t still love each other?” his voice shakes and you almost break down right there.
“because you don’t know what you’re asking, Riki.”
“i do.” his brows pull together.
you shake your head. “no, you don’t. if we try again and it falls apart… Aria doesn’t just lose the idea of us, she loses us all over again.”
Riki’s shoulders fall and his expression softens. “i know,” he says quietly. “i know that’s what you’re afraid of.”
his thumbs are tracing small circles on the backs of your hands now. “but i’m not asking you to pretend nothing happened, y/n, i’m asking you to let me earn it.”
the silence settles once again as you stare at the floor, refusing to look at him. because you know if you do, you’ll crumble.
every part of you wanted to believe him. to pull him into a hug and believe this time it’ll be different.
and… that’s exactly what happens.
you look up at him, eyes searching his face for any sign that means he’s lying. any hint that means whatever he’s saying will end up as another broken promise.
you don’t find one.
instead, you see the same boy you fell in love with. the same boy that held your hand during labour. the same boy that kissed your forehead and cooked dinner when you were stressed about work.
only now, he’s standing in front of you practically begging you to take him back. asking you to let him own up to his own mistakes.
you let out a shaky breath.
“okay…”
Riki’s eyes light up. “okay?”
you nod as tears stream down your cheeks before you can stop them. “one more chance.”
for a long moment, he just stares as you. almost like he’s convinced he heard you wrong.
“really?”
a small smile finds it’s way onto your lips.
“we’re not doing this just because of Aria,” you nod. “we’re doing it because i still love you. even after everything. i never stopped, Riki.”
his eyes glisten and he releases the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.
the first thing james noticed when he let himself into your apartment wasn’t you — it was the pile of unfolded laundry balancing on the arm of the couch, the half finished mug of tea on the coffee table, and three different notebooks spread across the floor with sticky notes poking out from every page.
then he found you at the dining table, shoulders drawn up, pencil tucked behind your ear as you stared at your laptop with the same expression someone might reserve for an impossible puzzle.
“you’ve been here all day, haven’t you?” he asked, setting the grocery bag on the counter. you answered with a distracted hum, not even bothering to glance up, which told him everything he needed to know.
he walked over and rested a hand against the back of your chair. “when did you eat?” you waved him off with a lazy motion, muttering something about being busy. james smiled to himself, already recognizing the stubbornness settling in. “that’s not an answer, baby.”
you sighed dramatically before insisting you were fine and that you’d grab something later. “later,” he repeated. “your favorite word.” you tried to hide your grin, but it slipped through anyway. “i’m serious.” “so am i,” you replied, tapping your keyboard again.
without another word, he disappeared into the kitchen. you assumed he’d given up until the unmistakable sound of cupboards opening and pans clinking reached you. five minutes later, the smell of garlic and butter drifted through the apartment, pulling your attention away from the screen despite your best efforts.
james leaned against the doorway, arms folded. “come eat.” you shook your head immediately. “i just need another twenty minutes.” he checked the clock. “you said that forty minutes ago.”
“i’m almost done,” you insisted. “you always are.” he wasn’t teasing; if anything, his voice carried the patience of someone who’d had this exact conversation dozens of times. “you’ll think better after you eat.” you clicked your tongue, refusing to move.
“james.”
“what?”
“stop treating me like i’m helpless.”
that should’ve ended the conversation, but pride had a funny way of making simple things difficult. you crossed your arms and looked back at your screen, pretending to reread the same sentence for the fifth time. james didn’t argue. he simply walked over, slid the chair beside yours out, and sat down.
the silence stretched comfortably between you until you finally sighed. “you’re not leaving, are you?” he smiled without looking up from the notebook he’d picked up. “probably not.”
you tried to outlast him. ten minutes passed. then fifteen. every few minutes he’d glance over, watching you rub your eyes or erase the same line repeatedly. eventually he reached across the table and nudged your pencil away. “you’re making the same mistake because you’re tired.” you frowned. “no, i’m not.” he quietly turned the notebook toward himself, circled the spot you’d missed, and slid it back.
you blinked at it for a moment before letting out the smallest, most reluctant laugh. “…’kay. maybe a little.”
“there she is,” he said, standing up again. “come on.”
this time, instead of arguing, you simply groaned dramatically as you followed him into the kitchen. the food was already plated, and he’d somehow remembered exactly how you liked it without asking. he passed you a fork before taking the seat across from you. “see?” he said. “the world didn’t end because you stepped away for fifteen minutes.”
you rolled your eyes. “you’re so annoying.” “i’ve been called worse.”
halfway through dinner, you caught him reaching for your empty mug. “i’ll wash that,” you said automatically. james was already at the sink.
“sit.”
“james—”
“sit.”
there wasn’t an ounce of sharpness in his voice, only the kind of calm certainty that made arguing feel pointless. you watched him rinse the dishes while talking about something funny that had happened at work earlier that week, purposely steering the conversation away from deadlines and assignments until you were laughing hard enough to forget what had been stressing you out in the first place.
when everything was cleaned up, you wandered back toward your desk only to find your notebooks stacked neatly, your charger untangled, and your scattered pens gathered into a mug. james noticed your expression immediately. “before you complain,” he said, “i didn’t touch the order of your notes. i know better than that.” you looked over the desk, realizing he’d somehow organized the mess without actually moving anything important.
“you’re impossible,” you murmured. “experienced,” he corrected with a grin.
the work that had felt impossible earlier suddenly came together much faster than expected. james stayed beside you, not hovering, just existing in the same room with a book in his lap and one leg stretched out toward your chair.
every so often he’d glance up to ask if you wanted more water or if your neck was hurting from sitting too long. the questions were small, almost forgettable, but they made the evening feel lighter. there was something comforting about knowing someone cared enough to notice the things you forgot to notice yourself.
by the time you finished, the apartment had gone dark except for the warm lamp beside the couch. you leaned back with a satisfied sigh before turning toward james. “i guess… thanks.” he raised an eyebrow. “guess?” you laughed and walked over, slipping your arms around his waist.
“thank you.” he rested his chin lightly against the top of your head, holding you for a long moment without saying anything.
then, almost absentmindedly, he brushed a few strands of hair away from your face. “you don’t have to do everything alone,” he murmured. “i know you’re capable. that was never the point.”
you looked up at him, feeling slightly embarrassed that he’d been right from the beginning. “i just don’t like asking for help.” james nodded as though he’d known that long before you admitted it. “then don’t ask.” you blinked. “i’ll notice.”
his smile was small, warm, and impossibly reassuring. “you don’t have to earn being looked after.” before you could think of anything clever to say back, he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead and reached for your hand.
“now,” he said, intertwining your fingers with his, “how about we spend the rest of the night doing absolutely nothing?”
pensieri the layout is ass i’m sorry 😢 i made it in a rush because i haven’t posted in so long :P
“We are still together. You’re just trying to pull out because you’re scared.” “What do I have to be scared about?” “You tell me, y/ln”
PAIRING : olderboyfriend!james x f!reader
SYPNOSIS : In which… reader is insecure about her relationship with James regarding her age, personality, even appearance at some point, that it makes pull away. Of course, James notices.
GENRE : fluff, angst, hurt/comfort
WARNINGS : cursing, insecure reader, use of petnames, age gap(2 years), sharing a bed, crying, arguing, mentions of not eating, use of y/n like once
WC : 3239
AUTHOR'S NOTE : This is proofread, I worry that it’s not as well-written as I think it is, but please feel free to critique my writing so I can improve. First James fanfic yayyy. Also I love Danielle and I miss her, she is only mentioned for the sake of the fanfic bcs I couldn’t think of anybody else🥹
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
You and James met when you were only sixteen, he was eighteen. You met him through your younger brother Martin who was always meeting new people, and making new friendships. You seriously don’t know how James puts up with your brother’s shit.
Of course, James fell in love with you at first sight. He was fascinated with you, the way you spoke with such calmness, the way you moved around so silently but so noticeable at the same time, the way you handled difficult situations. To put it in a few words, from the moment he saw you, he knew he would do anything to get you all to himself.
A few months after you turned seventeen. He asked you out on a date. You went to this beautiful elegant restaurant, that was just out of town, with dim lighting, warm laughter coming from every direction and delicious food. He brought you a bouquet of your favourite flowers, paid for the check, and drove you home. The night ended with his lips on yours, one hand on your waist and the other on your chin deepening the kiss, until you both pulled away giggling.
After a few more dates, while you were sitting together at the park bench, late at night, eating snacks and gossiping together, he asked you out. Obviously you said yes.
Now, it has been about one and a half years from the moment you two started dating. Everything’s been great so far, never ending dates, nonstop laughter, stolen glances, soft kisses, late night conversations. You even decided to move in together, your parents trusting that decision, knowing James and how sweet and responsible he is. You wouldn’t change it for anything. But sometimes you do have your doubts and insecurities, sometimes as in almost all the time.
You know James loves you, you really do, but sometimes the overthinking gets too much. He’s handsome and attractive, often grabbing the attention of other women, his age. You know the age gap between you too is not even big, but you can’t help but wonder if sometimes he would prefer someone his age or older. It’s stupid, pathetic even, but it’s not your fault that you think that way.
There have been multiple times when you caught other girls staring at him, some even coming up to talk to him, knowing damn well you were there, but still choosing to ignore the fact and think that they have a chance. James obviously doesn’t give them the satisfaction, but that doesn’t stop you from thinking he will leave you any second for someone better.
Have you voiced these concerns with him? No. Will you ever? You don’t know, you’re afraid of his reaction if you ever did speak up, you know he wouldn’t yell at you or maybe not even be mad, but still.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Sitting on James’ lap, head on his shoulder and phone in your hands, you’re scrolling on TikTok, not even paying attention to the videos that pop up, your stomach rumbles.
You hungry mhm? You wanna order take out or go out for dinner? His hands rubbing the sides of your waist, he speaks ever so softly, like he’s scared that raising his voice even a little, in such a quiet, intimate moment, will startle you.
You look at the time on your phone, it reads 7:46PM. You pull back from him, hands going from behind his neck to his chest as you stare at him. Well, it’s still quite early so I have time to get ready, can we go out?
Of course love. Do you know where you wanna go to? He says, looking at your face for any sign that you would change your mind.
Maybe that one restaurant downtown, where they have different cuisines? We could try Italian today.
Sure thing, go get ready, I’ll make sure there are tables left so I can make a reservation. He smiles and taps your side, gesturing for you to get up.
After about 25 minutes of putting on makeup and finding what clothes to wear, you’re finally ready. You decided to wear a short flowy dress in your favourite color. As you’re putting on your heels, you hear a gasp behind you and look up. James is just standing there, with his black suit, staring at you with bright eyes and a big smile.
You’re absolutely gorgeous.
James… You giggle as you walk over to him, the heels clicking on the white marble floor. You place your right hand on his cheek and your left hand on his chest.
His hands go to your waist immediately by habit as he squeezes it and leans in. The moment he kisses you, your body fills with an unexplainable feeling, like it’s the first time all over again, on that bright starry night when he kissed you on your doorstep for the first time.
After pulling away he raises his hand to you so you can grab it and when you do, you two walk out of the door.
Once you enter, the restaurant is buzzing with people. You notice everything, the different faces, different clothes and many many different types of food from countries and cultures all over the world. You breath out a sigh, this is your favourite place where different cultures and people connect, the idea of this is really sweet.
He pulls your chair so you can sit down and walks over to his chair. The waitress appears after just a moment to take your orders. You notice she is smiling a little too much at your boyfriend and not really paying attention to anything else, making small talk with him, not even asking you about your order.
After you two eat, James signals for the check while the same waitress comes up. The moment she leaves the check on the table she turns around, but before doing so, she winks at your boyfriend? What the fuck is her problem?
You turn to look at him and see that his expression has turned into a frown before you see the phone number written on the end of the paper. Ugh, the audacity. He stands up, leaving the paper on the table and walks over to the front to pay before you both leave.
You stay silent the whole way back to the car.
Baby? You don’t answer.
Sweetheart, are you okay? Concern in his voice as he steps closer to you, about to hold your hand. You raise your arms in the air.
Of course I’m okay, everything is okay, nothing is going on. You nervously laugh. I’m just tired, let’s go home.
Hey are you sure- He reaches for your shoulder.
Please, yufan. You don’t even spare him a glance. He gives up trying to figure you out, for now.
In the car, you’re only staring out the window, he tries to communicate with you but you just shrug your shoulders and answer with short, dry answers. Tears are threatening to fall off your eyes, but you hold back, not wanting James to see that side of you.
After you reach home, he tries to talk to you multiple times but you don’t answer him as you would normally do, he has realized by now that this has something to do with that waitress at the restaurant. Fuck, was that lady stupid?
Even when you go to sleep and he tries to speak with you, you don’t budge, but you still let him hug you as your eyes slowly close and you drift away.
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The next morning when you wake up, your hands reach his side of the bed out of instinct, but to your surprise, he is nowhere to be found. You immediately open your eyes and sit up before you’re blinded by the rays of sunlight, hitting your eyes through the shades. You can hear sounds coming from the kitchen and as you get up and start walking towards the door, a sweet smell hits your nose.
Entering the room, you’re met with the sight of James’ back, his hands moving a pan and holding a spatula, cooking pancakes.
Morning baby. You say as you wrap your hands around his waist and snuggle your face on his back, breathing in his scent. You hadn’t forgotten about yesterday, obviously, but you didn’t want him to worry again like the night before, where he wouldn’t stop asking if you were alright.
He flinches a little bit, startled because he didn’t hear you coming. Hey there, I made you pancakes. He scrambles to prepare them and turns to you, holding two full plates in his hands. He places a quick peck on your lips and walks over to the table, setting breakfast down.
As you both sit down, he turns to look at you. Hey um… He pauses. Are you okay? You glance at him and notice his furrowed brows.
Mhm, why wouldn’t I be. You hum, munching on food while moving your fork around. I don’t know… I guess, you seemed a little off last night. Well I wasn’t off, it was probably just in your head. Enunciating the words, as you speak. Yea right. He chuckles, but the laugh is not quite reaching his eyes.
Hyeon and Keonho are throwing a party at their place today, do you wanna go? He mentions, scrolling at his phone.
I don’t think so, but if you want to go then you can, I’ll just stay at home.
Are you sure?
Mhm.
Completely sure?
Yea.
Okay then.
You didn’t want him to go without you, but you weren’t really in the mood to go. Negative thoughts trying to flood your mind already, but you push them away, for now.
When the time came for him to leave, you said your goodbyes, a few kisses here and there, as you rushed him out the door. But after about 30 minutes of staring at the wall in silence, you grab your phone.
Opening instagram, you notice many stories from people you know as you press each and one of them. The last one being the cherry on top, a selfie of the boys but there’s James in the background talking with someone, someone blurry. You zoom in and-
You would notice that curly hair anywhere, Danielle Marsh. Dani has been trying to grab your boyfriend’s attention for ages now, always flirting with him, talking with him etc. She is older than you, his age, she is more mature, more pretty, has a more beautiful figure.
Overthinking takes over your mind and body as your phone falls out of your hand and onto the couch. Tears blur your vision, as your breathing becomes uneven. You should have gone to that party, you should have never let him go alone. You’re not even sure that if you were there, this wouldn’t happen, because really, even though you’re jealous and anxious, you never act on it or do anything to stop it.
You hate this side of you. Insecure and vulnerable. Sometimes you seriously wish that you would be James’ age, or have a more mature personality. It’s not that you don’t trust him, it’s the fact that you don’t trust others around him. You wish that you would be one of those women that are not insecure in their relationship, because it’s like you’re trying to self-sabotage.
You slowly head to your shared bed, body feeling weak but still pushing through. You lay down and cover yourself with the blanket, whole body shaking with desperate cries as they gradually quiet down into sniffles and eventually you fall asleep.
When James returns home, he notices the heavy silence immediately, something is wrong. He puts down his car keys and wallet and searches for you. When he doesn’t find you on the couch, only your phone, he walks over to the bedroom as he approaches you and kneels down in front of your face.
“Was she… crying?” He stares at your tear-stained cheeks, as he softly nudges your shoulder to wake you up.
Baby, wake up. Please wake up sweetheart.
Softly and slowly opening your eyes, you feel James’ hand caressing your hair as he presses a kiss on your forehead.
What happened baby, were you crying? The moment you hear that sentence, you turn your face away from him and wipe your cheeks.
I wasn’t crying, nothing happened. You sit up and slide out of the covers.
But- Nothing happened, James! Your voice rises as you stand up and head to the living room.
You are clearly not okay so why don’t you talk to me? What are you keeping to yourself that you won’t tell me? He’s yelling now too, his voice is not laced with anger, but with confusion.
Now pacing around the living room, you hesitate to speak, your thoughts scattered all over the place, not knowing where to start from. James is just staring at you, waiting for your answer.
You know what Yufan? I saw an instagram story, why were you talking with Danielle? Danielle? He’s even more confused now.
Danielle Marsh, you were clearly having more than a friendly conversation with her and she was touching your shoulder!
Okay love, I think you’re confused, there’s obviously nothing going on with me and Danielle, I don’t even think she has any interest in me, and I don’t even like her like that.
No James, she obviously has a crush on you, just like that waitress at the restaurant, and every other girl that as so much stares at you when we’re out together. You yell, your voice shaking.
What? You know that’s not true and even if it was, I don’t have any interest in other women! You’re the only girl that I want in my life.
Yea right. You shrug, tears brimming your eyes. Why don’t you believe me? I just… I can’t okay? Maybe this whole thing is not right, maybe we shouldn’t be together.
What? He yells, you finally look at his face, really look at him, he’s on the verge of crying. You’ve never seen him like this.
Maybe I…, I’m sorry. You grab your jacket, sobs escaping your chest as you open the door. Y/n please- You look at him one last time with red eyes, he’s shaking with the fear of losing you. You close the door and leave. Where are you going? You don’t know. Do you regret your decision? Yes, but maybe it’s for the better, maybe you’ve been holding him back all this time.
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It’s been three days, three whole days since you two last spoke. He doesn’t know where you are and he is scared that something happened to you. James tried calling you multiple times, but you never pick up, you don’t even read his texts. He even tried getting to you through Martin, but even Martin doesn’t know what you’re doing, which is really concerning, considering he’s your brother and all.
You though, haven’t gotten out of bed almost all day, your eyes are tired from crying and your body is weak from not eating. You’re at your family’s home, not really speaking to anyone. You miss him so much but you can’t do anything about it, it was your decision after all. Should you consider this a break, or a break-up? You don’t exactly know, he hasn’t stopped reaching out but you’re too scared to speak with him after the way you left things.
You gasp as you realize, you’re still sharing your location with him. Oh no, you scramble to pick up your phone and turn it off but suddenly-
Y/n, sweetie! Someone is at the door for you! You hear your mother’s voice from downstairs.
No there’s no way… You muster up the strength and get up, anxiety all over your body as you run down the stairs, rushing towards the door. You open it and James is standing there. He gasps once he takes in the sight of you, a dark color settling underneath your eyes, oily hair, trembling fingers. You look so weak, so vulnerable. He immediately hugs you tight, you try to push him but it’s no use, you’re too exhausted.
Y/n please, let’s go home and talk, please. He pleads, voice breaking while he kisses your head all over and he places his hands on your cheeks and looks at you before leaning down and placing a kiss on your nose.
You never thought you would actually do this, but here you are. Your back is leaning on the couch while he closes the door behind him, turns to you and walks over. When he’s finally infront of you, he drops to his knees and looks down.
Please… He sighs, tears falling down from his eyes onto his lap, his hands holding your knee and thigh for support. Please talk to me, don’t push yourself away from me.
Your knees almost give out at the sight, your right hand caressing his hair. Oh baby, I’m so sorry. It’s just that…
He looks up at you with yearning eyes, waiting for you to finally open up to him. You hold your breath before speaking again. I’m so jealous and insecure all the time. There are so many better girls than me, flirting with you, that sometimes I think you’ve made the wrong choice. I’m not that pretty, or smart, or mature and I fear I’m holding you back from an even better relationship with someone else. You pause. Someone who deserves you.
You were speaking so fast that you almost choked from the lack of breath. He slowly gets up and hugs you. Oh love. He sighs deeply, hands coming up to caress your cheeks, as he pulls away and looks into your eyes. I have loved you from the moment I laid my eyes on you. You’re so perfect in my eyes, even if you don’t see it. I don’t consider anyone to be more smart or more beautiful than you. And don’t even think of worrying that I don’t find you mature enough, even if you’re not that mature, I don’t need you to be, I just want you the way you are.
I love you so much, you don’t even know. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else in this lifetime or in another. I want to take care of you, help you with your problems, but I can’t do that if you don’t help me see the burdens you carry. I need to you to be open with me. Don’t be afraid to speak up ever, please.
I love you just the way you are, and I wouldn’t change you for anything.
He leans in and kisses you so sweetly, so in love. You’re so stunned that it takes a moment for you to kiss him back, but when you finally do, you wrap your arms around his neck and cry into the kiss. He places his hand behind your neck and pulls you impossibly closer, deepening the kiss, not wanting to let you go just yet. When you pull away, he pulls you into his embrace. You feel his breath on your neck and the warmth radiating from his body is comforting in some way.
I love you yufan, I’m sorry I acted that way. You whisper in his ear.
