I hate every single person who dragged this horse carcass back into my ask box, just begging me to beat it but here we fucking go.
I think the thing that aggravates me soooo much about a lot of ace rhetoric and ace terminology is the fact that 90% boils down to âdifferent than the normâ and no one fucking knows what the norm is. Unlike concrete identities like gay, straight, bisexual, and trans, itâs just completely abstract and relative.
Itâs an ace spectrum so itâs less sexual attraction than normal. Queerplatonic relationships are platonic relationships that are stronger or stranger than normal. Oh, weâre ace and we want to fuck but itâs different than normal, weâre aro and we want to date but itâs different than normal.
Aces and aros clearly do not know. They cry âamatonormativityâ where romance and sex is the norm, ignoring the fact that society does not want or normalize gay love. It is not accepting of women owning sexual desire and acting on it. It doesnât want interracial couples to fall in love or for disabled people to be openly sexual. It doesnât think trans people should be raising kids in the nuclear family or that they can even be part of the nuclear family. Amatonormativity is not real.
There is no normal. There is no running average of sexual attraction or romantic attraction. There is no âtypicalâ romantic relationship. No one is meeting a sexual ideal. There is no framework of âasexual but can fuck and suck and even feel sexual attraction sometimesâ that makes those people oppressed but makes those who feel sexual attraction but donât ever want to have sex or are incapable of sex oppressors. A gay person who feels sexual desire does not have social leverage over a straight person who doesnât⊠or even over another gay person who doesnât.
There are INFINITE variables sex and romance that COMPLETELY change their social context. Who is feeling it, who they are feeling it for, how they are feeling it, how they intend to act on it, IF they intend to act on it, how often they feel it, when they feel it, WHY they feel it, and how it is received changes ALL of that.
There is no normal. A cishet demisexual can recreate the nuclear family and uphold âamatonormativityâ while a nonbinary bisexual girl can choose to never date or have sex and⊠suffer no consequences because no one fucking cares if sheâs dating or not. No one cares.
A cishet man who wants to fuck women but not date them isnât defying any norms. Heâs not special for not wanting commitment or not being able to feel âromantic desireâ which is a complete abstract.
LGBT identities do not exist in contrast to the norm. They exist in contrast to oppressive social classes. They exist in an oppressed/oppressor system with fairly concrete definitions, even if someone may fluidly change identities with time and introspection.
A gay person isnât someone who âfeels gendered attraction outside the norm.â A bisexual person isnât someone who âfeels normal and abnormal attraction.â
And yet 90% of asexual identities, which claim to be a sexual orientation just the same as gay and bisexual, arenât âdoes not feel sexual attractionâ but rather âexperiences sexual attraction but abnormally.â Less than normal. Needs more emotional connection than normal. Feels a normal amount but wants to act on it less than normal.
We get it, Jughead. Youâre a fucking weirdo.
But youâre not oppressed for it. Nor do you understand what normal is.
None of you know what normal society is. You donât leave your house so you compare your life to television shows and fanfic and create an identity out of your life not matching those you see on the screen.
