nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy

jess 32 uk

[roycohn]

happy donna sheridan unprotected sex day (1/3), everybody!!!

[loveridden1999]

i've been more peer pressured to watch star wars in my life than to do drugs

[feastofsnakes]

hey sorry I snapped at you, I've just had a really hard day and [remembers focusing on myself is selfish] maybe it's your fault for provoking me?

[yellow-cat]

do u think i can go for a run today or is that something only normal people are allowed to do

[thisisdogs]

weird animals run all the time dude

[yellow-cat]

im going to go for a scamper and scare everyone

[weary4u]

I genuinely believe sports are too exciting for guys. Too much stimuli. It's like taking your reactive dog to a parade. Foolhardy

[pinbones]

I'm not getting across today, am I?

[idc0o]

some of yall didnt go insane at 15 and it shows

[necromancelena]

Computer loves to be like "fuck! You sure you want to shut down? Youve got volume mixer open"

[oupyfactory]

maybe the single funniest twitter comment I've ever seen

[animentality]

[alfgifu]

this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

[faithlesslovee]

so I put a bullet where I should've put a helmet and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away

[jessthemess820]

My town ❤️ #mytown

[jessthemess820]

[jessthemess820]

Now why does my weather forecast say “sunny conditions around 9:00 pm”

[sanrio-stud]

there should be coming of age stories for people turning 30

[jauntylittlefrillyboy]

I will always take the cat's side. "she's drooling on me" you're so lucky "he always wants to be petted" then pet him "he's mad I won't let him on my desk" make room on your desk for him. I am your cat's defense lawyer and the cat is always innocent on the grounds of them being A Little Kitty Cat.

[tachyon-log]

"'Effect' is a noun, and 'affect' is a verb," reprimanded the schoolteacher. The students merely looked on with dull affect, bearing no genuine desire to effect change in their own vocabularies.