"she chose her job as politician" she ain't choose shit. it wasn't entirely her choice. she's trapped in a position she didn't actually want.
also i would like actual text examples of anakin thinking about padmé as some "submissive wife that can make him feel safe", because at this point this take feels like an invention of something that isn't in the text at all. text itself says completely different things. you, as jedi, don't choose someone in general for a relationship if you want "safe". yet he sacrifices everything for this relationship, because it violates jedi code and it would be a scandal for both of them. + he doesn't care who she is, he would love her the same even if she were a simple worker on naboo (he fell in love with her when she was still under the guise of a simple handmaiden after all). the fact that padmé is a politician only makes their situation worse for them, actually 🤷
also anakin genuinely supports padmé's work because, just like padmé, he wants to help people and wants the republic to change for the better. he's just disillusioned in republic as institution, because he's from the lowest class in the republic. and, as former slave, he has every right to criticize this system, because this system failed him and many other slaves. padmé is one of the politicians he respects, because she is truly the kind of politician who isn't corrupt and absolutely honest in what she does to improve the republic.
+ anakin force choking padmé wasn't about some illusion being shattered. it was impulsive action after days of psychotic breakdown and being high on dark side because anakin thought that padmé betrayed him. anakin was ready just a minute ago to overthrow palpatine and give power to padmé, the one for whom all this was done. this is horrendous action, there's no arguing about that, but this action canonically has ACTUAL reason.