CLARITY @jhz3 - Tumblr Blog

Head stays still but the body GROOVES

sometimes bird mating dances just look bizarre but if i saw a guy doing this at the club i'd know EXACTLY what he's after

edsrosetattoo

This is the best idea in the history of film.

kyrianne

perrokallej3ro

i’m fucking crying y’all

nicostiel

Rata Forest in New Zealand

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”

Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.

fororchestra

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.

On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

corruptbucky

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

justtkeepcalmm-deactivated20250

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.

The lengths we go for music.

lady-gorthaur

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

elsajeni

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”

And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:

[stifled giggling]

[reeeeeeally deep breath]

[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]

The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.

In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”

FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

minguskingus

This is the best band post

Everyone else go home

oxboold-deactivated20180729

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

prokopetz

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

vivelafat

Julius IdontgivaFucik

septemberbells

More like Julius Fuckit

sushinfood

Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share

haha-leigh

I haven’t been in band for years but this made me laugh so hard

hisroyalnerd

I haven’t seen this post in ages and I’m dying of laughter

tobinlaughing

I didn’t think it could get better after The Foghorn Tuba Story, but it did. It got better. Bless you, MusicTumblr.

cumaeansibyl

as far as I can translate it, the German notes at the octuple forte mean something roughly like “You want the instrument to cough… this is not for wimps”

this man was a menace