By Jiri Othello G. Dinsay
What is your greatest fear? What did you do to conquered it?
Yes! After 10 years, I have once again set foot on the shores of Manila and I have brought with me the courage of living out my greatest childhood dream.
It was almost 10 years ago that my family and I decided to take a vacation to our nation’s capital. Manila was such an amazing place to be. I was in awe on how many tall buildings, freeways and express ways, shopping malls, night clubs and restaurants I saw. Amid all these, I was eyeing for just one place. One place that would make my whole trip complete. And that would be my visit to Enchanted Kingdom.
I can remember the scenes play so fresh in my mind. On the morning of the visit, my parents and I strolled through the amazing amusement park. I got on kiddie rides such as ferry’s wheel, bumps cars and merry-go-round. I saw many clowns and my favorite cartoon characters came to life. I also made new friends amid the language barrier. It was such a site to behold. It was kid’s heaven and I was in paradise. I rode the rides over and over again.
When trip was nearing its end, my parents encouraged me to follow in the footsteps of my older cousins who had one-heck of a time at the roller coaster. I was very excited at first but when my time came, I froze and my hair stood on end at the mere site of the “monster”. I rushed back to my family and I just made an excuse of being too short for the ride. But in truth, I have succumbed to my fear of heights. I cried my way back to the car because I was very disappointed at myself. Still, I managed to look back at the bright amusement park. I then said to myself that I would someday ride the depth-defying roller coaster.
For years, I’ve constantly rehearsed my reactions and feelings in the hopes of controlling my anxiety.
The day finally came. Last July 2012, I was standing in front of my monster, my greatest fear: The Rollercoaster. At first, I was really scared but my anxiety lessened in seeing that there were a lot of people lining in front of me. It was an opportunity for me to get a feel on their reaction. They’re emotion helped me decide to maybe back out as I wish.
We were all giggling and shouting in excitement and anticipation. But once people got on ride, all their laughter and the happiness subsided into a silence. Some frantic souls backed out at the last second. I have watched batches upon batches react this before my turn finally came. It all started and ended the same way.
Finally, my turn came. I was determined to do it. My mind was set and I felt was going to hold me back. I went immediately to the front of the ride to be strapped on by the operator. He then gave me a reassuring smile but that didn’t help me at all. When all were ready, the operator pulled the lever and the rollercoaster was dragged by a pulley to the peak. As I went higher and higher, I started kicking, closing my eyes. I resisted my fear of Heights. I cursed myself for having got on the first place. I resented for being where I was as of the moment.Before the last phase could begin, I closed my eyes and visualized. I visualized that the ride was the only way I could reach my dreams; that it takes tremendous pressure and every ounce of courage so that my dreams maybe realized.
So, I opened my eyes slowly and there I saw one of the most beautiful views in the world.It was breathtaking. For that moment, I was king of my Enchanted kingdom. I inhaled and smiled. :)
The pulley was ready to let go and I was ready for the dive. Then, it began: all that swishing and swooshing and all that dragging. I just went with the flow, the twist and turns, and just gave in to the tremendous feeling of freedom... The Freedom from Fear.
When the ride was over, I was light headed but over-joyed about it. I've guessed that the only reason why people were silent after the ride was the fact that the ride makes you want to vomit. Joking aside, I knew that deep in their hearts they felt proud of themselves because I knew I was!
I was glad that I did not enter the phase of REVENGE. I did not take revenge for depriving myself of that great feeling of achieving a dream. For this, I am contented.
The story of the roller coaster was a very concrete way on how to look at my goals in life. My only hope is that I will read these signs of fear and anxiety as they continually present themselves in my life so that, I will find a way to manage them.
Because I have conquered my greatest fear, all the other extreme rides such as the Jungle Log Jam and the Anchor’s Away did not scare me at all.
At last the time came for me to go home once again. I then looked back at the bright amusement park and smiled. I said to myself that for sure this won’t be my last.