the silent eye-catcher

A personal blog wherein the author pours out his inner most emotions about life, family, love and his daily dealings with the world into a pool of catharsis and self-talk.

[jiridinsay]

Dear Photograph,

This was taken on this very same day a year ago. We were celebrating a fiesta in honor of our clan's patron saint, St. Anne. During the festivities, I asked my grandma to hold my beer for me. I challenged her to take a sip of it but she demanded that damn drink be taken away from her. I took this pic before taking my beer. This woman can never be corrupted. And because of which I know you're in a good place now, WAWA. :)

[jiridinsay]

The Room Nurse

The “Room Nurse”

By Jiri Othello Dinsay

  I will never amount to much,

That’s what some people would usually say.

Only a “Room Nurse” am I and such,

and only after your pay.

  To me they are mean,

For I care with all the “rotten” of the society.

But to me you are dear,

I see every inch of your worth and dignity.

  To the sound your mech-vent’s alarm,

Or to your baby’s cry.

I shall give you my warmth

And tell you everything will be alright.

  When the telephone rings,

Or when the doctors call.

But, it’s to you I shall ultimately sing.

And give you my all.

  ‘till there is no day,

And when the world is sleeping.

In my prayers you’ll stay.

I entrust you to His keeping.

  I shall hold your hand.

 ‘till your very last breath,

And promise you of a land,

That opens upon your death.

  If only the world could see through my eyes,

And feel using my heart.

It’ll melt the coldness of ice,

And we will never be torn apart.

  Never can they understand,

That to your bedside I truly belong.

Never can they fully understand,

That it is my soul’s happiness to see you alive and strong.

  If a “Room Nurse” am I.

Then a “Room Nurse” I will forever stay.

Forever by your side,

Forever yours in every single way.

[jiridinsay]

Nursing is not for everyone.  It takes a very strong, intelligent, and compassionate person to take on the ills of the world with passion and purpose and work to maintain the health and well-being of the planet.  No wonder we're exhausted at the end of the day!  ~Donna Wilk Cardillo

[jiridinsay]

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon.  ~Dag Hammarskjold

[jiridinsay]

Nursing is an art:  and if it is to be made an art, it requires an exclusive devotion as hard a preparation, as any painter's or sculptor's work; for what is the having to do with dead canvas or dead marble, compared with having to do with the living body, the temple of God's spirit?  It is one of the Fine Arts:  I had almost said, the finest of Fine Arts.  ~Florence Nightingale

[jiridinsay]

When I think about all the patients and their loved ones that I have worked with over the years, I know most of them don't remember me nor I them.  But I do know that I gave a little piece of myself to each of them and they to me and those threads make up the beautiful tapestry in my mind that is my career in nursing.  ~Donna Wilk Cardillo, A Daybook for Beginning Nurses

[jiridinsay]

What I learned in class today. :) 

[jiridinsay]

A Nurse's Prayer

By Jiri Othello G. Dinsay

Dear God,

As I start my shift today, give me the time and space to thank you for giving me another day, another opportunity to live-out my life's passion... of being a nurse. 

Lord, enlighten me so I can become the solution to my patients' problems.Strengthen me so I can make everything better for their sake. Shine on me so that I  may lose sight of my purpose. 

Whatever obstacles I might face through-out the day, grant me: a  smile that will uplift any downtrodden spirit. a warm touch that channel Your compassion and peace. Most of all, a clear conscience to see things through. 

Lord, whatever happens, I entrust everything to Your loving hands. All that I am and all that I ever will be is for Your greater glory.

I am Your instrument of where Your miracles come into fulfillment.

Amen

[jiridinsay]

[gofuckingnuts]

[exposingpersonality-deactivated]

This is my quote of the week!

[jiridinsay]

awesome! 

[jiridinsay]

In Times like These

By Jiri Othello G. Dinsay

I miss you in times like these for, surely, you would always know what to do and what to say to make me feel okay.

However, I've realized that one of the reasons why you left is so that I would not grow overly spoiled of your love.

Moreover, I've realized that it is high-time for me to spread my wings and become the man that I once dreamed of becoming. 

So, for now, let me just shed a few tears in your memory and just express my longing for you.

Oh Wawa Loleng, how I miss you!

[jiridinsay]

[jiridinsay]

Christmas Traditions

By Jiri Othello Dinsay

All of us look forward to Christmas for it is the time of year that family traditions are kept alive.

Good day, dear readers! How are you? Are you already feeling the Christmas Spirit?

Well, I know I do and I'm very excited about it! 

Christmas will be here in a few weeks time. So, my mom and I decided to bring out our old Christmas tree and whip-out a beautiful creation for your eyes to see. 

We went all the way from the busy streets of Colon to the bustling shopping centers here in Cebu just to look for glorious ornaments for cheap finds. 

We were amazed in what we found. Multi-colored berries, poinsettias, ribbons, ferns and balls were displayed for shoppers like us to choose from. 

Amid all that, mom and I decided to stick to our traditional red and gold color-scheme. It took us about two weeks to carefully select all those decorations that would look good on our Christmas tree. 

All the fuss about our Christmas preparations reminded me of many wonderful Christmas memories as a child.

Christmas preparations were an affair for my grandparents and I.

I remembered how Lolo Pomping and I pain-stakingly put up the Christmas tree. Unlike today, christmas trees then have to be put up piece by piece, layer upon towering layers. I remember helping him out then install the branches and spread all the beautiful ever-greens in place. One by one we hanged the bells, ribbons and balls to weave a beautiful pattern. We were always proud of what we did. For once in the year, the dull colors of our home glistened to the colors of red and gold. 

It was also the time when the aroma of great gourmet cooking brought my senses to life. My Wawa Loleng was such a great cook. Our family always looked forward to have a taste of her heart-shaped flan and sumptuous "imbutido".

Undoubtedly, we will be experiencing a different turn of Christmas this year with the two of them not being around anymore. 

That's why my mom and I are doing our best to keep our family's Christmas tradition alive. In this way, we will be able to keep the memories of my grandparents burning in our hearts forever. 

As seen above, the picture shows the product of our creativity and our hard work.

Indeed, Christmas is already in full-swing at our home. After all, home is where the heart is. 

[jiridinsay]

Time for Success

By Jiri Othello G. Dinsay

We live in a world wherein everything comes ready in a split second. Fast foods, instant noodles and reheat-able meals have become so popular among us  because we all need something that could immediately satisfy our needs in this fast ever changing world. 

We are so fond of "quick fixes". 

However, the eternal truth tells us that there are no such thing as "quick fixes" on the road towards success. You cannot just simply "poof-out" a bowl of victory. Life doesn't work like that at all.

We then must learn to allocate our time to some purposeful activities that will align us to our mission in life whatever that maybe. 

For example, we are given 168 hours in a week. We then can allocate at least 1 hour a day to go lift weights in the gym, to attend that dancing class, to learn how to bake, or anything. We can allocate at least 1 hour a day and that's just 7 hours a week to do something we are passionate about. 

Then, we are left with 161 hours to do other things that are also equally important to us. 

This is one way of how to increase our effectiveness as a person. If  only we can manage our time in this way, I can see how all these activities will benefit us in the long run. :)  

[jiridinsay]

My Angel, My Friend

By Jiri Othello Dinsay

You must be an angel fallen from the sky.

It's not a weird thing, it is no lie.

You catch my tears every time I cry.

Wondering when I will be alright.

You must be an angel blown by the wind.

Singing to me your special hymn.

A hymn of a bright future and endless dreams.

You always know how to make me happy with a grin.

You must be an angel my tower of strength.

Keeping up with me amid great lengths.

You protect me when my life is in great stealth.

You'll stand by me for I am your greatest wealth.

You must be an angel, my guardian, my friend.

There to see me through the very end.

Put me up over and over again.

You'll never leave my side 'til the very end.

[jiridinsay]

Phobia

By Jiri Othello G. Dinsay

What is your greatest fear? What did you do to conquered it?

Yes! After 10 years, I have once again set foot on the shores of Manila and I have brought with me the courage of living out my greatest childhood dream.

(backstory)

It was almost 10 years ago that my family and I decided to take a vacation to our nation’s capital. Manila was such an amazing place to be. I was in awe on how many tall buildings, freeways and express ways, shopping malls, night clubs and restaurants I saw. Amid all these, I was eyeing for just one place. One place that would make my whole trip complete. And that would be my visit to Enchanted Kingdom.

I can remember the scenes play so fresh in my mind.  On the morning of the visit, my parents and I strolled through the amazing amusement park. I got on kiddie rides such as ferry’s wheel, bumps cars and merry-go-round. I saw many clowns and my favorite cartoon characters came to life. I also made new friends amid the language barrier. It was such a site to behold. It was kid’s heaven and I was in paradise. I rode the rides over and over again.

When trip was nearing its end, my parents encouraged me to follow in the footsteps of my older cousins who had one-heck of a time at the roller coaster. I was very excited at first but when my time came, I froze and my hair stood on end at the mere site of the “monster”. I rushed back to my family and I just made an excuse of being too short for the ride. But in truth, I have succumbed to my fear of heights. I cried my way back to the car because I was very disappointed at myself. Still, I managed to look back at the bright amusement park. I then said to myself that I would someday ride the depth-defying roller coaster.

  For years, I’ve constantly rehearsed my reactions and feelings in the hopes of controlling my anxiety.

(present day) 

The day finally came. Last July 2012, I was standing in front of my monster, my greatest fear: The Rollercoaster.  At first, I was really scared but my anxiety lessened in seeing that there were a lot of people lining in front of me. It was an opportunity for me to get a feel on their reaction. They’re emotion helped me decide to maybe back out as I wish.

We were all giggling and shouting in excitement and anticipation. But once people got on ride, all their laughter and the happiness subsided into a silence. Some frantic souls backed out at the last second. I have watched batches upon batches react this before my turn finally came. It all started and ended the same way.

Finally, my turn came. I was determined to do it. My mind was set and I felt was going to hold me back. I went immediately to the front of the ride to be strapped on by the operator. He then gave me a reassuring smile but that didn’t help me at all.  When all were ready, the operator pulled the lever and the rollercoaster was dragged by a pulley to the peak. As I went higher and higher, I started kicking, closing my eyes. I resisted my fear of Heights. I cursed myself for having got on the first place. I resented for being where I was as of the moment.Before the last phase could begin, I closed my eyes and visualized. I visualized that the ride was the only way I could reach my dreams; that it takes tremendous pressure and every ounce of courage so that my dreams maybe realized.

So, I opened my eyes slowly and there I saw one of the most beautiful views in the world.It was breathtaking. For that moment, I was king of my Enchanted kingdom. I inhaled and smiled.  :)

The pulley was ready to let go and I was ready for the dive. Then, it began: all that swishing and swooshing and all that dragging. I just went with the flow, the twist and turns, and just gave in to the tremendous feeling of freedom... The Freedom from Fear.

When the ride was over, I was light headed but over-joyed about it. I've guessed that the only reason why people were silent after the ride was the fact that the ride makes you want to vomit. Joking aside, I knew that deep in their hearts they felt proud of themselves because I knew I was!

I was glad that I did not enter the phase of REVENGE. I did not take revenge for depriving myself of that great feeling of achieving a dream. For this, I am contented.

The story of the roller coaster was a very concrete way on how to look at my goals in life. My only hope is that I will read these signs of fear and anxiety as they continually present themselves in my life so that, I will find a way to manage them.

Because I have conquered my greatest fear, all the other extreme rides such as the Jungle Log Jam and the Anchor’s Away did not scare me at all.

At last the time came for me to go home once again. I then looked back at the bright amusement park and smiled. I said to myself that for sure this won’t be my last.

[jiridinsay]

Illusions

By Jiri Othello Dinsay

Do you see me every time you pass the hall?

Or am I just part of that world that means nothing at all.

When it comes to me,it shows that you really don't care. 

But here I am silently waiting for my love to share.

Every time I'm feeling blue,

I'll always get stuck thinking about you.

Wondering what the 'morrow will be for me and you,

sticking side by side just like being glued.

Your simple smile perks up my day.

Taking all my worries away.

A simple "Hi" and my heart just sing!

Oh you don't know how much joy you bring.

How I wish to be part of your world,

To be part of your life, you most amazing girl.

The girl that launches a thousand ships when she smiles.

The girl that keeps me running for her for a thousand miles.