Three days behind the sun.

Jackie. California. 18 var ref = (''+document.referrer+''); document.write('

[richwhiteboys-deactivated201604]

when you fake sick and everyones like “yeah you look really terrible”

[this-isnt-my-bra]

Once my friend Henry was accused of wearing wireless headphones by a substitute so she said for him to hand them over so he took them off and handed them to her. Then later on she asked him a question and he didn’t respond so she said it louder and he still didn’t respond. She asked why he was not responding and he said “I can’t understand you ma'am, you took my hearing aids.”

[lolodapsycho-deactivated2017030]

HOLY SHIT

[mamoru]

one time we had a sub that was handing back papers and called my name. I asked if someone could grab it for me and she started mocking me for not even standing up. taunting me asking why I was not walking up to the front to get the paper myself.

my classmates went dead silent and after the sub’s laughter ended someone informed her that the wheelchair parked nearby belonged to me

[silver-rayn123-deactivated20181]

I had a sub in English once, on presentation day. And everyone goes up and does their thing, and then its my turn. The whole time im stuttering and mixing up my words, having to stop and re-say my sentences. The rest of the class is used to this and claps. However, by the time its over, the teacher is 100% done.

Starts saying horrible thing about how im going to have to get over my ‘fear of public speaking’ and how she’s heard 8 year olds give better presentations (plus worse things but I don’t really member them). By then im in tears and on the brink of a panic attack, and then she starts telling me off for crying The rest of the class is horrified. Then this boy stands up. He never been my friend and we never really got along, but he’d never bullied me. He told her in a pissed off, cold voice that in freshmen year I got a concussion and that I never really recovered from it, so all that was medical related and I couldn’t help it. Then he starts telling her off and the rest of the class joins him.   The teacher is mortified and tries to cover her ass, but the whole class walked out and that boy took me by the shoulders and we all walked to the principles office and told him what had happened. Lets just say she isn’t teaching anymore. Also, turns out that boy had a sister like me, who couldn’t really speak. We’ve been best friends for 8 years and i’ll be his best woman at his wedding next year.  The moral is that Teachers, even subs, and adults shouldn’t scold kids before knowing the whole story, because shit like that can fuck up kids self-esteem for the rest of their life. 

[rhv]

seduce me with ur history knowledge 

[simaraknows]

vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft

[danray002-deactivated20241205]

During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.

[lapisbitch]

raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death

[sirl33te]

during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.

[verysadskeleton]

The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people

[stitch-n-time]

King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.

Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.

[kanthia]

Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes

[spockyykins]

At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.

[obaewankenope]

When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.

Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.

[nat-20s]

During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.

[aphony-cree]

People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.

[naphula]

The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.

[givemeunicorns]

Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler)  nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives

[queerstorian]

Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”

[afewreelthoughts]

fun date idea: stab him in the leg

[greelin]

i love my mother dearly but ability-wise she frightens me bc not only can she find 20 four leaf clovers within the span of like 2 minutes, everywhere, she can also write her name w/ both hands on a dry erase board or w/e at the exact same time and have both be a mirror image of one another

[greelin]

to add to this: i was making breakfast this morning and i hear “hey milo! look who came to say hello!” and, expecting like, a moth or a frog or something of that nature, i turn and she’s holding a snake

[assassinationtipsforladies]

Yer ma’s a witch. Be nice to her

[disjuned-moved-deactivated20211]

THIS WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY

[stressedasperusg-deactivated201]

I need a friend like Gaton.

[cungadero]

me: man i sure am hungry but i dont know what to eat

brain: then just fucking eat nothing

me: understandable have a good day

[thebrooklyninenine]

because no amount of gifs could do this scene justice

[sacred-portal]

[sexemulators]

[shadowofafeeling]

my father told me once to never date anyone who talks smoothly around you from the start because if someone likes you they should be a little nervous and honestly i think that’s some of the best advice anyone has ever given me

[shadowofafeeling]

i told my dad about this text post and he got so excited he teared up and then he said he felt like he just adopted forty thousand new children to share his wisdom with and he hopes all of you meet kind, sweet people he would be proud of

[jiyxoriginalpringles]

me: i wish someone liked me

someone: [likes me]

me: i must fake my death and lie low for ten years

[buryyourhands-deactivated201701]

[rottenfaery-deactivated20190708]

“Just trust your gut”

Pal I have anxiety, my gut is literally always telling me to abort mission

[dovalbun]

RIGHT so when I started my sociology course in college, my teacher stated us off with 

‘well I guess we have to do icebreakers. i’m Jon, and I fear bears. why do I fear bears? because bears can run at 30 miles per hour and Chester Zoo is 30 miles away. that means a bear can be outside this door in an hour. why would a bear be here? because they can smell fear and I fear them.’

[i-like-lots-of-things]

what did we do to deserve Hugh Jackman?

[hanukkahlewinsky]

is this what having a penis is like