From Here to Mars

Entertained by what she writes, she believes none of it • Peter Pan's Wendy

[jjuanaa]

Limang taon at ikaw pa rin

I've never imagined that we're gonna get this far. Well, I never imagined that I will be your girlfriend some day. But I guess life has full of surprises indeed. We started when we were just college students - you didn't have a motorcycle & a car back then, you only have your bike. You'd have to commute to pick me up at school/internship. Then we will eat with just P30-50 budget each in any cheap food stall that we'll see because we didn't have ipon pa, only with our allowances.

Now, we're both working in our dream companies. We've also started saving for our future house & we can eat wherever & whenever we want to because we have enough money na. Ahhhh I'm just so happy that I ended up with someone like you.

There were days that we couldn't understand each other but I'm glad that we did not gave up. Thank you for waiting for me, love. My life will never be the same without you.

To more years, yes? MAHAL KITA!

[jjuanaa]

Been on quarantine for 12 days now but I'm not covid positive tho, just a close contact. Haha it's funny because I'm enjoying this. Don't get me wrong ha, it's just that - this has been my escape from reality. I'm still working from home but atleast I'm not that pressured to prove myself infront of my boss & workmates. It's exhausting you know, working from monday to saturday on-site is really not ideal. I mean, I'm enjoying my work but it has been a routine for me that's why I'm glad that I got the time to appreciate myself these past few days.

Everything will get back to normal soon, might as well enjoy what I have now when there's still time left. Stay safe, everyone. Don't forget to choose yourselves, too.

[jjuanaa]

Last year around May 2020, I fought my greatest fear - to end some unfinished business. A chidhood friend, a family friend & a family member died one week apart. My heart was so heavy, I was numb. I was not eating right as well. I wanted to scream the pain away but all I had was tears & fears. Then I thought, what if one day I’ll suddenly die without having the chance to say goodbye? I mean, the right way. I am not ready for that. So I took courage to speak up & free myself from pain.

I messaged my ex & some high school “friends” because you know, life’s a mess sometimes. I told them how much I’ve been hurt & how it affected my daily life. I almost killed myself because I can’t take it anymore. Haha yeah I know, my head was in shambles. Well long story short - they explained their sides & we forgave each other. And that shit is the best decision I’ve ever made.

I’m so proud of myself because I did that. I’m in a 5-year-healthy-relationship now & I’ve never been happier. I’m trying to get back on track & get back to myself again. I guess Tinkerbell’s right, sometimes all we need is some faith, trust & pixie dust haha. I hope y’all will find courage to free yourselves someday. Life is short, make every second count. 

[jjuanaa]

I remember way back 2014-2015, I was really trying to fit in here. Because way back 2010 or 2011, my friends were just here because we just wanna be heard & understood. Then 2014 came, most people here were always active & all. Idk, I was pressured that time and I wanted to stay cool too just so I could fit in with them lol. I was trying to choose the right words before I post anything here because I felt like people were looking - I thought that they really cared lol. I mean, no hate but maybe that phase was just not for me.

Well now, all I want to do is to be myself again - even if no one will read my posts or even talk to me haha.  Also, my old friends are no longer active here on tumblr but I’m hoping to meet new ones. Hehe ok catch

[jjuanaa]

Through Night And Day Movie

Honest Movie Review | Spoiler Alert!

Tbh, I'm surprised that most of the reviews in this movie were focused on how much Ben loves Jen. I mean, it’s true that Ben is an ideal boyfriend but idk, maybe because I’m already 25 that’s why it’s not what I noticed or I am just being atribida lol

I may have fell for a guy like Ben, too. They’re already in a 13-year-relationship and he’s still trying to win Jen’s heart even if it’s already his. But for me, you don’t settle for someone who only loves you when things are doing okay.

LOVE IS NEVER SELFISH they say, and it should not be selfless too. Ben said that in their relationship, he always put Jen’s happiness first before his. So what about him, right? I’m not saying that it is wrong but I think this is one of those things that we forget when we fell in love, to always spare some love for ourselves too. You will really get tired if you’ll give your all. That’s why Ben came to the point that he got tired of Jen. But isn’t it funny - that just because Jen suddenly “changed” her behavior or herself, Ben chose to leave her. Ben really ended their 13-year-relationship just because of her girlfriend’s “mood swings” (side effect of her brain tumor). Are you willing to settle with that kind of person? Of course not!

Correct me if I’m wrong but do we still need to have an illness for us to be understood? For them not to leave us? What if we just suddenly changed, no brain tumor or anything, or that person is really a “cry baby” or toyoin? For me, even if the person changes, even if he/she has a brain tumor or not, if he/she have toyo/topak or not, even if that someone became unpredictable, YOU STAY. Because LOVE IS PATIENT 💞 But not in a way that his/her toyo is just only kaartehan ha hahaha

Well I am happy that Jen did not end up with Ben 😊 Not because Jen died at the end of the movie, but for me, if ever they ended up with each other & Jen will be complicated & unpredictable, Ben will surely leave her still. And no one deserves that kind of love 😔

And lastly, this is for those people who are mad with Abi (Ben’s wife). Yes, no one will ever be comfortable if their other half is with their ex. But what I understand here is that, this is what the movie is telling us - for us to settle for someone like Abi. Someone who loves us without a doubt and trust us no matter what. Someone who knows that even if it is possible that we could get back with our exes, still chooses to understand & be with us. This is the love we all deserve because LOVE IS KIND.

Be with someone who is generous, genuine & never selfish. Be with someone who you feel at peace whenever you’re with them. And most of all, find someone who will still choose you even if things are not going how you planned it - someone who loves you even if you don’t even love yourself.

[jjuanaa]

Oh hi, it's been a while. I just installed tumblr again & everything's so new to me. How is everyone here? Hope y'all are doing great. And always remember this – if you have to choose between being right & being kind, choose kindness.

Will try to be active again. Am I still welcome here? lol who cares

[jjuanaa]

Meet my 18-year-old self huhu can I go back? 🥺

[jjuanaa]

Random shoot way back 2014 or 2015? lol I can't even remember. Anyway, these photos we're taken by the one & only – Darren Bacani 📸

Tried to add some magic and tadaa 🌟

I call this one – Under the Sea 🐚🐳 🌊 I used my preset here called Bliss.

And I call this – Gloomy 🌥

Hehe I'm sorry for obvious 'edits', I'm still exploring.

[jjuanaa]

Took this photo last Christmas – San Sebastian Cathedral of Lipa 💒

And I tried to add more color here:

I had a hard time editing this one so you can see that some edits were obvious lol.

[jjuanaa]

Original photo 📸: the boyfriend

Edited by yours truly 😊

[jjuanaa]

A friend from Japan sent me this photo:

So I tried to enhance it and it's my first time to try things like this so please don't judge me because I'm still learning hehe 🥰

I call this one – Busy Street 🌃

Hope you like it guys! I'll upload more soon 😘

[jjuanaa]

I loooove your hair. I wish I could pull of that color and haircut too! x

Aww thank you so much! I'm sure you can, too. Try mo laaaang ❤

[jjuanaa]

To be honest, I didn’t sign up for this. All I want is to cut my hair this short and then color it ash gray. But the person who did my hair said that ash gray will still look as black on a short hair. So since I don’t want to put my money to waste, I told her “you decide then”. And it turned out great actually. The real color is faded violet that’s why it really needs to fade (also because striking violet hair is not allowed at work hehe). I love my hair!!!

[jjuanaa]

Isn’t it ironic?

Hi, this is the guy who took my heart away. (he took it to different places)

I’ve never imagined that I’ll end up with him. He’s one of the pogi-pero-pacool guy when we were in high school. He’s from an all-boys school while I went from an all-girls school. Our schools were just walking distance that’s why I see him almost everyday, and t’was very irritating. Well maybe because their “tropahan” was too papogi & boastful that time *rolls eyes*

I remember, we were on our 1st year in high school when I heard from a friend (who’s also his friend) that he likes me. I felt more irritated. We don’t know each other personally, just by names and looks. But it’s funny because I found out from a friend that since the very first day until when we were in college that he still asks about me. If I already have a boyfriend or is anyone seeing me because he still has a crush on me after all those years lol

He don’t have the guts to tell me what he really feel way back then until we both found ourselves in the hands of another. But I think the universe is on our side because our lost hearts meet, again, after all those heartbreaks from our past, on the right moment & in God’s perfect timing.

We’re inlove for almost three years now. I started working and he’s graduating. Isn’t it ironic? The one you thought who will never have a chance on you is now the man you cannot afford to lose. I’m happy.

[jjuanaa]

A Letter To Me For The Days I Don’t Like Myself

When you’re standing in front of your reflection and you lay your eyes on your body, I cannot avoid feeling sorry for that melancholic look on your face. When you get undressed and you look at yourself, scrutinizing the whole surface in search of any kind of imperfection, I can see the soft sigh of resignation stumbling upon your lips. When you gently put some makeup on your skin, I feel sad for the way your eyes seem to light up only when you’re done with your work of art.

I know you hate what you see in the mirror, even though you don’t really see yourself. I want you to know that, sometimes, I hate you too. I hate the way you hesitate when you take your clothes off, the way you brush your long fingers against those stretchmarks around your hips, the way you underestimate yourself.

I despise how you wrap yourself up in layers of clothes to hide all those things you don’t like about your body. How you shiver when you hear some strangers chuckling, because you think they’re laughing at you. I loathe you because you will only make love when it’s dark because you’re afraid they’ll run away if they see you with the lights on. Because if they don’t call you back, you’ll think there’s something wrong with you. Because you always consider yourself damaged goods, a burden, a weak freak.

Mostly, I hate how you promised you would get through this but you still haven’t found a way to deal with it. I hate how you wake up some days and I see you happy and confident, and I see that joy swiftly taken away from you, ripped out of your hands.

But I’m proud you stopped looking for validation in others. I’m proud that you still get out of bed in the morning to fight your demons. I’m grateful that, no matter how much you hate yourself, you still try to love yourself the way you love everyone else. I don’t know why it is so hard for you to accept yourself. I don’t know why you always feel like you’re not enough. But I’m glad you still have hope. That’s the reason why I will always smile back to you, when you look in the mirror. I pledge to support you and encourage you whenever you will be in need. I vow to remind you about that small tattoo on your wrist, the promise you made to yourself and how you intend to keep your word as you always do.

Take care of yourself. But don’t freak out if you can’t, because I will.

Giulia Dana Pesce // Thought Catalog

[jjuanaa]

Ink #6: It's up to you

If I'm your girl — I will never ask for your password. You can have your privacy & do whatever you want.

Now, it's up to you.

If you'll lend me your phone once in a while just like you always do & let me slide to your social media accounts. Not because I don't trust you, you know that I always will, but because you just really want me to see it.

You can talk with other girls, be friends with them. Comfort your girl friends when they need you, that's okay with me. But it's up to you if you'll talk to those that I get jealous with & delete your conversations after. Because I believe in you and you know what you're doing & how it will make me feel.

You deserve someone who trust you because I know that you're doing everything that you can to be at your best.

Now, it's up to you if you'll make me doubt these things in you & do something that will break my trust.

[jjuanaa]

Good morning! Have a great week ahead. Love love. 😘❤️

Start pa nga lang ng week, sobrang shit na huhu. Still hoping for a better day. Anyway, have a great week too! Much love <3