todays bird

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hello vonnie
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

@theartofmadeline

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ojovivo
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
cherry valley forever

tannertan36

Andulka

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noise dept.

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oozey mess
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Janaina Medeiros

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@jjulliiba
He used me over and over. He just wanted me for sexual favors. For pictures. For dirty messages. He wanted to get himself off. He used me. I let him, but I didn't really know. He's an absolute dick. He sent me so many dick pics that I didn't want. He used me for his ego. He wanted to make himself feel powerful and good by walking all over me. I let my walls down for him. I gave him so much. He didn't deserve any of it.
Damn twat couldn't care less about what he did to me.
I'm not letting anyone have as much control over me as he did
I feel like I've never related to a quote more than this one.
I honestly don't give a fuck about him no more. I mean sometimes it does still hurt know how much I put into our relationship and he never actually cared. And he is just tryna get with other girls. And lying and lying over and over about being with other girls and getting a girl pregnant. He's a jerk and shouldn't be allowed to communicate with anyone cause all that comes out of his mouth is lies.
I'm a beautiful lover. My heart is so big and full and ready to give my all to someone.
I am about to post so much. I need to vent like no other. So I was in a relationship, for about six months, long distance. And this bitch just was an asshole the whole time. I absolutely want nothing to do with him anymore. He fucked with me so much. He lied about everything. I mean everything. And he deserves no love until he cleans up his act. He doesn't deserve anything. He is a lying insecure fuck.
Little Mental Thoughts
I can always feel it when it starts…it’s like this creeping far away dizziness in the back of my head. And then it starts to spread. It hits my ears where the things people say sound foreign and I sometimes don’t even understand the English language, so because of that I start to panic a little. It then gets to my eyes where it’s like I can’t focus on one thing. I have to keep looking around and I suddenly forget where I am. I forget where I am, who I’m with extent and who I am. I’m still unsure of the trigger of my dissociation/depersonalization episodes but…I know I’ve done it since early childhood. My first memory for example… It’s at the point where I’m permanently unsure of the reflection in the mirror. I don’t remember the changes I went through. It’s like a chunk of time is gone. And I don’t recognize the eyes. She looks dead. Like I have a corpse staring back at me. She’s pretty. But I can’t help but get the feeling that the girl I see isn’t me. How can someone be sure the reflection isn’t them when they themselves don’t know what they look like?
dissociation
You see, it doesn’t get you when you’re young
You’ve got the time to w a n d e r
I mean teachers might stay STOP!
hoping to engage you, they tell you not to ponder
They tell your parents at nursery that you’ll never make it far
Because lets face it, she’ll never come out of her shell
So just do your best to just try and fit in
They say to you, trapped inside your living hell
Daydreaming’s great when you’re a child
They think you’re lost in a meadow of daisies
And brush it off each day when your eyes look hazy
But no one tells you what to do when you’re nearly twenty two
And I still can’t bring my eyes to meet with you.
In chemistry class you learn that d I s o s I a t I o n is the splitting of a molecule into smaller parts
As you realise you’d probably forget your entire body if it wasn’t for your rapid heart
The popular kids yell what shall we call her?
And suddenly you begin to feel smaller and smaller and smaller .
You could be in central Vietnam
On a busy London tram
Or lying under an attractive man
Who compliments you on your curvature
But you’ve become part of the furniture
And people at your new job all talk of ya
Saying ‘isn’t she a strange one?’
colleges pass by and say HEY!
But they think you won’t give them the time of day, your mind is miles away
And all you want to do is run
But your minds already started to race
So you may as well stand still, kid.
And hope that your manager wont flip his lid
When you stare in a customer’s face
*jump* The phone rings…
Bring! Bring! Bring! Bring!
‘H, Hello….operator?’
Beeeeeeep
Sorry, you’ve been disconnected.
“Dissociation does not mean that you are defective, damaged, insane, stupid, or worthless. In fact, you are among the most gifted people in the world because it takes intelligence, creativity, and imagination to learn how to dissociate. Congratulate yourself on your ability to survive overwhelming trauma.” - Dr. Bill Tollefson
i don’t feel real. i don’t think i ever have.
Bpd is so shit. You get those days of non-stop anxiety, pain, sadness, crying and in my case I was anxious about coming back to a house and town I hate and having to put up with anxiety and feeling anxious about someone very close to me and also being used by someone I love and being left forever in terms of intimacy by someone I also love so all that bottled up and if you’re like me, you vent to every possible friend you have (three, in my case) You tell them you gonna kill yourself, you cry a lot and it’s going on for say three or four days and then suddenly you’re okay. Nothing bothers you because you’ve chronic feeling of emptiness but your friends (if they care enough) are stuck in the words you said, thinking that you’re going to kill yourself soon but you’re actually feeling quite okay with low-key suicidal thoughts..
you will drown yourself in the lies that come from their mouth and as soon as something doesn’t add up, you will be convinced that you are the problem.
B.M.
(via
wordslikerosepetals
)
Sometimes I get really insecure about what we are. What you think. I get scared that you changed your mind. But then I think of the moment we had together. The good memories we share. And a smile spreads over my face and I can’t stop to have this feeling. And suddenly I wonder myself why I get so scared. Why I overthink this so much. But what if I’m wrong thinking this and everything is actually worse than I imagine. I see both sides, but for some reason I can’t seem to be able to pick one.
Why do I still fall for him, when he doesn’t. It never feels like he wants me. Yet I love him so damn much. I miss him constantly. I make time for him. But he rarely makes time for me. But I’m understanding. I’ll wait till for him. I’ll wait. I can’t let him go. I love him so much. I need him. I don’t want to let him go at all.