Kwitcherbitchen

I will attempt to make this the one place I do not have to censor myself. If you're here, try not to be offended. If you find yourself here and find yourself offended, go fuck yourself.

[theonion]

[byjove]

since I’ve already exposed myself massively, I want to come out and frankly admit that I wore this pair of shoes nearly every day from 5th grade to 8th grade

my Gorillaz hyperfixation lasted from the time I was 11 to 14, nearly every article of clothing I owned was Gorillaz merch. It started before that. Feel Good Inc came out in 2005 and I remember wanting to bring Demon Days to show and tell in preschool and my parents vetoing that. my gift for my 16th birthday was seeing them live in Atlanta

[jluve82]

You know the ADHD is strong today when you have to remember if you peed when you got home from work before you climb into bed for a nap.

[jluve82]

I am truly raising myself.

Let me explain. I have a child, 12yrs old. He has his own cell phone and his friends (and their parents) all have his number and mine. I can listen to this boy be on the phone with his friends for hours at a time, sometimes solo, sometimes in a group call, but either way spending hours on the phone. The *minute* he gets stimulated or overwhelmed he just hangs up. No “hey guys, gotta go,” or “can we tone it down, I’m getting overstimmed.” Just *CLICK* gone. I asked him once why he doesn’t say anything and he told me “they know if I get off the call, I’m over it. I’ll be back, just need a minute to not people.” Truly, that is the person I want to be, lol. So when I say I’m raising myself, I’m raising who I wanted to be when I was his age. Someone confident enough to be my whole self and with a friend group who gets it.

[jluve82]

ADHD DAVE strikes again.

I made myself breakfast, but knew I wouldn’t have enough time to eat it before I had to leave for work because I also had to shit. I packed my breakfast, put it in my backpack, had my shit, left for work. I got to work, took a pic of the person who always parks in our reserved spot, talked to office management, logged my breakfast in my tracking app, and went through the rest of my usual business for the day.

I typically don’t eat lunch at work because I only work until 1 or 1:30, so I’m home for lunch unless I’m eating with my office mate/best friend. But today, by 11:30, I’m starving. Like my stomach thinks my throat’s been cut levels of hungry. I break down and order lunch, wolf it down and finish my workday. I get all the way back home before I open my backpack again because I’m looking for something and see my breakfast is still in my backpack!

Ugh…at least instead of being 500 over my goal by lunchtime, I’m under by 300.

[itsapmseymour]

Lads, Ladies and Gentlthems,

We must pay respects to a titan of a device

My iPad who has drawn the last 3 years of CosWon material and the book illustrations, has finally decided it’s crossing the cosmic bridge. 😔

[hoofpeet]

Must suck ass to be like. a lawyer or something in the pokemon world. They haven't made any cool lawyer pokemon yet

[eternal-fractal]

Ho oh

[dkpsyhog]

I think we have different definitions of ‘lawyer’ but sure

[eternal-fractal]

Why wouldn't ho oh be a lawyer? They're a Phoenix, wright?

[dkpsyhog]

In the kindest way possible, fuck you

[jluve82]

If God is omnipresent and omniscient and in control of everything that means God is also a woman with ADHD. No, I will not elaborate.

[demifiendrsa]

An R-rated Bloodborne animated movie is in the works from Sony and JackSepticEye.

[jluve82]

As an adult, how much time do you spend Donald ducking it around your home?

[jluve82]

Sometimes I’m dumb.

I sat on the last 2 baskets of laundry over the weekend because I ran out of hangers. Today, I bought 30 hangers as the baskets looked pretty full. They were full…of towels. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[ultrafacts]

Whiffling is a term used in ornithology to describe the behavior whereby a bird rapidly descends with a zig-zagging, side-slipping motion. Sometimes to whiffle, a bird flies briefly with its body turned upside down but with its neck and head twisted 180 degrees around in a normal position. The aerodynamics which usually give a bird lift during flying are thereby inverted and the bird briefly plummets toward the ground before this is quickly reversed and the bird adopts a normal flying orientation.

(Fact Source) Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

[pukicho]

updated 6 AM Trancerrrrr Updated 6 AM Trancerrrr

[fulgrims-big-naturals]

Puki this sounds like a song i would maladaptively daydream to jn the back of a car in on the way home from a camping trip I didn’t enjoy great job

[pukicho]

Daydreaming car music that goes with the rhythm of the repeating light poles and road markers that pass by your window?? Alright I like that.

[galwayghost]

I read a fic ages ago that i'm trying to find again. I can't remember if it was on here or on ao3. It followed a xeno-anthropologist alien on earth. She was a prey species roughly similar to an armadillo. She was sent to earth to do an evaluation of the safety index for humanity in the galactic community. As time goes on she sees more and more signs that this is what the index would classify as a "Deathworld" If anyone recognises this please let me know what it's called and where to find it (Reposting to add more tags, previous post wasn't getting reblogs)

[jluve82]

Our children will never know how privileged they are and I’m okay with that.

My friend and I spent about $150 ($45 per kid) to have a glow in the dark Easter Egg hunt tonight. We literally filled 90 eggs with candy, cash, and glow sticks and set them loose in the park. The kids had a blast, each has their own gift card, and a memory they will never forget. Even the youngest, who found the least $ was stoked that he “got paid to have fun.” We love our kids, our parents would never, but we were so excited to see their faces when they found out what was in the eggs other than a future trip to the dentist. I love us, I love our kids, and am glad they will never know how cool their moms are.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

not Murderbot in a 24 hour period going from "my best friend is dead" to "my best friend is alive and we are NO LONGER friends" to "I forgive you" to "let me get you pregnant"

[sophiesuncatcher]

crucially they had TECHNICALLY forgiven each other but were still having petty squabbles and doing the “I hate you” act. so it was like “ugh you’re the worst. such an asshole. we need to have a child together though”

[jluve82]

Bribing your child to get out of a school obligation is a right of passage.