Here We Go

she/her

[deathgasmic]

who else is up permanently feeling like they did something Wrong

[mollybeenoel]

[girlmostlikely]

Anybody else love making coffee and doing fuck all

[dragon-in-a-fez]

knowing that the past tense of "hang" is "hanged" when it's a method of execution can be very entertaining because you'll be watching a horror movie and someone goes "local legend says a woman was hung in these woods" and you're like "👀 good for her I guess"

[jlz7]

I'm going to have a little crash out as a treat.

I'm trying to finish planning my wedding, and I'm apparently not allowed to crash out on my other social media accounts or even privately to my family, so I guess I'll do it here.

Nobody ever watched or reacts to my shit on other platforms, but the moment I lose my shit, the stories get passed around to the whole family, and everybody's mad at me.

I hate this. I hate this so much. When you're like me, this whole process is a humiliation ritual. I don't know who wants to come, who doesn't want to come, who likes me, who is nice to me out of politeness, any of it. So the guest list just generated multiple panic attacks, and I'm now discovering that I put all the wrong people on it and didn't include the right ones, and I'm just going to become a hermit and never talk to anybody again.

My family is either ignoring me or too old or sick to come. The same for my wife's family. The RSVPs that we have received so far are not making me feel good. After a certain number, I just started crying. It doesn't help that my dad has spent this whole time telling me that nobody is going to come and that the food is going to suck and people will want to leave.

My mom keeps insisting that she wants to help and wants to be involved, but she doesn't follow through on anything that I actually ask for her help with, and then she gets pissy when I get overwhelmed and don't want to share anything with her anymore.

People keep asking me questions about things that are not my responsibility and that I have recused myself from. The shower was a mess. The bachelorette, if it happens, is going to be a mess. I just don't want to do this anymore.

But I can't bitch because my parents paid for things. Nope. Can't complain. They put forth money, so I need to shut the fuck up. Meanwhile, my wife's mom hasn't spent shit.

On top of this, work is hell, I've been out sick half of this past month, I'm not getting paid for it, I've maxed out FMLA, so I might lose my job, my doctors aren't filling out my return to duty paperwork quickly enough, I'm still being asked to perform job tasks while at home, unpaid, and my wife and son are also sick. I can't bend over or stop coughing, and I'm supposed to be finalizing decorations and shot lists and shit.

My wife is the only thing keeping this crash out from bringing me to the damn ER. She is everything. I also can't go back to full time treatment because that's what got the wedding delayed in the first place. I stg, I would check myself in yesterday if it wouldn't ruin everything.

I felt so capable. I felt like I could really do things. I felt like I was going to be okay. I felt like I had a handle on things.

And now I'm fighting with UPS and forgetting everything I need to do. I need to make a list, but when my mom wanted to help me make a list, she kept demanding information that I don't have access to. Why don't I have a final head count? Because the RSVP deadline hasn't come yet. I cannot give you shit.

We should have had a goddamned micro wedding. This should have been over.

But, no, we wanted to have the wedding we wanted. We wanted to have a big party and wear pretty dresses and be princesses. How dare we. How dare we want something like that.

I have dared to want something unreasonable again. I dared to want to marry the love of my life in front of people who love and care about me and have a party. How preposterous of me. How fucking dare I.

My hip hurts.

[billy-xoxo]

HEY GUYS? GUYS? GUYS?

From Under The Cork Tree Demos : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

Demos from Fall Out Boy's 2005 album From Under The Cork Tree

FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE DEMOS. THEY’RE SOOOOO GOOD EVERYONE HOP ON THIS

[maxanor]

XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS (1995–2001) Season 6, Episode 3, 'Heart of Darkness'

[harrykim]

Xena: Warrior Princess 4.17 The Play's the Thing | ID in ALT

[analytictsar]

Damn the perceived world sounds cool as hell

(blue is average of people’s estimate of percentage of population of which x is true, and red is the actual percentage)

[misanthropiccatboy]

I appreciate how it’s perceived jews are 30% of the population, muslims are 27% of the population, and atheists are 33% of the population. nobody wondered why christians were 10% huh

[cop-disliker69]

I honestly don’t even think this is as much “minorities being extremely visible”, and more just that the most people don’t understand fractions and statistics.

To most people, anything less than 10%, in any context, is basically “insignificant, not even worth your attention.”

The idea that Asians could be “only” 4% of the US population, and yet you still see a couple Asian people every day of your life, is deeply counterintuitive to most people. People don’t truly grasp that they pass by hundreds if not thousands of strangers every day and about 1 in 25 of them are going to be Asian.

Right now annual inflation is at a pretty high 9%, which is more than triple what the usual inflation rate is. But I guarantee if you asked the average person on the street what the inflation rate is right now, they’d think prices have gone up by anywhere from like 30-100%, because “9%” just doesn’t feel like a substantial or noticeable amount in their minds, even though it is.

[facelessoldgargoyle]

Obsessed with the fact that 92% of people live in NYC, California, and Texas

[jabberwockypie]

This reminds me of a different post I saw recently, wherein OP was - understandably - irked that so many professionals will characterize something that affects 1%-2% of the population as “a rare illness”. In actuality, if you’re in a lecture hall with 300 people, that means 3-6 of people who are in the same room with you. It means you might meet people with [disorder] every day, and not realize it.

[chthonic-pain]

reblogging for that last comment. I’ve been saying this for years

[whitefangthefightingwolf]

same thing with “only” 1% of the world is trans, and “only” 1% of the world is ace. I saw somewhere on here that if you do the math, there’s more trans people than there are Canadians. This is where the jokes about aces conquering Denmark/Belgium/the Netherlands come from. There are more aces than the populations of some countries.

[ageae]

[fuck-u-maga]

Fuck this guy

[beggars-opera]

Boston 1721

[hanavesinauttija]

[pelagae]

And her sister Phthalo Blue, another slam dunk for copper!

[zhoudadudugongjin]

Don't forget about her distant cousin, Tyrian Purple

[ultrafacts]

A cyanometer is a device used to measure the intensity of blue in the sky, often used in meteorology and atmospheric studies. It typically consists of a series of blue color patches or a color gradient, allowing the user to compare the sky’s color to these reference colors.

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Do you like the wheel of the sky

[friend-crow]

Well I like that it doesn't take 5 minutes to scroll past.

[starvulture]

Collecting these rn

[nongunktional]

best typo ive ever made i think

reblog if you feep stupid

[nongunktional]

spose we're all feeping stupid today

[sonarthebat]

"I post meanspo just to hold myself accountable."

No. No you don't. If you did, you'd put it a private journal instead of making it a blogpost with 50 pro ana tags. Could be a cry for help, but the fact you write it in 2nd person suggests you're directing this nastiness at fellow ED sufferers, not yourself. You're just a mean girl that wants other people to be as miserable as you and you're targeting vulnerable people, some kids. Grow up and get help.