[rainekeiko]

[kneupke]

Queen Latifah

[that-chatterbox]

Dyllon Burnside and Ryan Jamaal Swain in Pose.

[6i]

in your 20’s find a balance between hustle & rest. you don’t need to have a love life or a soulmate figured out. go travel the world. battle your demons. set up a business, find people who value your heart & yours will attract. don’t live in the past, you have so much more to see

[kalikb]

I was obviously intoxicated this night.

[getmehaunted]

[akron-squirrel]

…this is about the best sentence mix I’ve done. And that’s because all I had to do was cut the middle out of “fine-looking.”

[bothsideslikechanel]

[timonegingi]

Elibeidy Dani by Miles Aldridge for Numero Paris #199 December 2018.

[annerocious]

Dear Men Writers

Lesser known facts when writing women:

High heeled shoes don’t become flats if you break the heels off.

The posts of earrings aren’t sharp.

Nail polish takes a long time to dry and smudges when wet.

You can’t hold in a period like pee.

Inserting a tampon is not arousing or sexual in any way, ever.

Feel free to add your own.

[deliciouspineapple]

- Bras leave red marks on the skin under and around boobs and it is a magical experience when taken off.

- Make up can take anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes depending on how skilled you are.

- Taking hair out of a ponytail after wearing it for hours does not make it perfectly straight when it comes down.

- Hair when wet sticks to the skin it no longer flows, idiot.

-When women with long hair kiss, turn around, do anything, their hair falls in the way.

- Stockings are itchy and tear like wet paper bags.

[ivegotthetriforce]

- Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different. - Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble - Most can’t run in heels unless they have been VERY worn - Insecurity in appearance doesn’t mean “buy me a drink” - EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING

[drmistytang]

-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief.  If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it won’t fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.

[angryschnauzer]

Putting a tampon in isnt a quick bend-poke-done kinda deal. It involves cubicle yoga, messy hands, numerous curse words as you realise it isnt in correctly and have to take it out and start again with a new one.

[cassiopeiassky]

Yes to all of this.  But also:

If her hair is in an updo, one does not simply remove a hairpin to send her hair cascading down her back.  No.  If her hair is an updo, it will take at least an hour and an extra set of hands to remove the 137 bobby pins that are holding her hair in place.  Furthermore, there’s probably a can’s worth of hairspray in there, intended to withstand category 2 hurricane winds.  There’s no cascading happening here - the best you can hope for is a misshapen nest of hair to clump and poof unattractively in the back while it still remains flat against her scalp.

[marvel-lucy]

This is one of the funniest posts I’ve seen in a while (especially if you read all the comments), but also really depressing because at 42 I still judge myself as having failed for not matching up to all these mythical stereotypes despite knowing they’re impossible

[valeria2067]

^^^This though

[musicalhell]

The odds of a woman having smoothly shaved legs and armpits are directly proportional to the amount of skin her clothing bares and/or the amount of fucks she gives at that particular moment.

GLASSES ARE NOT COSMETIC.  If we whip them off, we do not become gorgeous fashion models.  We become squinty.

[thatsnicebutimmarried]

-most women wear bras. Yes, even when they are trying to dress sexy. Because bras make boobs look perkier and rounder, which is something men apparently find sexy, so being a seductress or femme fatale is not an automatic reason for a female character to not be wearing a bra.

-a good bra will hide headlights, or at the very least drastically reduce their noticeability. A women with enough pointy nipple issues will opt for a padded or molded bra to hide them.

-women’s nipples do not automatically become hard pyramids visible through any and all layers of clothing the second they become even slightly aroused. They are not the female equivalent of boners. And even if their nipples do get hard, the bras they are almost certainly wearing (because even a goddamn succubus with big, honkin’ knockers for seducing men is gonna have those painful puppies in some kind of boob sling) should keep those pointy nipples from being visible to every other character in the scene, JIM BUTCHER. YES, EVEN LARA RAITH WOULD WEAR A BRA ONCE IN A GODDAMN WHILE.

[eldriitchmurmurs]

if you’re being tied up and tortured in a freezing underground dungeon, then you probably have more important things to pay attention to than how hard somebody’s nipples are, jim butcher

[jabberwockypie]

- Wearing a bra that doesn’t fit HURTS.  It’s not sexy to wear a bra that’s “two sizes too small”, it’d make your clothes hang oddly and you’d have a weird, uncomfortable “quad-boob” effect and your back would hurt, BEN AARONOVITCH.

[phantoms-lair]

Also, after removing a too small bra, there’s gonne be angry red lines on the boobs and ribs and the lady is not going to want them to be touched by anyone for a good long while

[everystarstorm]

-Not all women wear heels. Those things hurt and are hard to balance in. They can also mess up your feet and back pretty bad.

[hattedhedgehog]

-Lips aren’t just naturally red “as if she’d been drinking wine but they were just like that without makeup cause she’s so perfect,” my dear little Kvothe from ‘Name of the Wind’. Also, girls do not naturally smell like fruit or flowers, it’s either perfume or something she’d been eating recently.

[generalistherbalist]

I’ve been appreciating this post but now it’s back very specifically calling out my problematic faves and I don’t think those male authors realize how much it totally takes me out of the story for a moment when they commit these errors. It does nothing useful for the plot and is annoying for half of the audience

[lmorasey-deactivated20230917]

Is it weird that I’m female and wasn’t aware of a solid third of these?

[infinitelyblankpage]

I mean, all writes take note. I basically live in man land when it comes to protagonists so I don’t know half these things despite being a woman

[furryarbiterangel]

(Most) Women do not look at themselves in the mirror and compare their breasts to fruit. Any sort of fruit. Especially melons. Please save us from the melons.

Also we are not aware of our breasts at all times. I do not walk down a flight of stairs and think “oh golly my breasts are bouncing so much right now”. They are as much as natural part of our bodies as arms. Do you constantly think about how your arms are moving? Sure you may be aware of them, but paying full attention? Doubtful.

[dukeofbookingham-deactivated202]

Also: women working out are almost never sexy. They’re not glowing or glistening or (kill me) *sparkling*. They are red and sweaty and gross just like all the dudebros doing their time with the dumbbells. Stop ogling fictional women at the gym, TOM WOLFE.

[kerolunaticat]

I love this post.

[ruinedchildhood]

[mrlifeisrich]

ashes & embers, haile gerima, (1982)

[soultobeloved]

by petra collins

[catgifcentral]

[kimreesesdaughter]

If there’s anything I can finesse, it’s a resume, interview and pay rate. 

[black--beetle]

Please help? I need these skills?

[kimreesesdaughter]

Come my child…

LIE. LIE. LIE. (By lie, I mean embellish) I’m going to tell you why. I lied on my resume to get the job that made it so I didn’t have to embellish anymore. By embellish I mean make your positions seem more important than they are. Chances are you’re not getting paid enough for what you do anyhow. The system is definitely going to play you so you gotta make a move too. 

Use businesses that are no longer in business (Finesse #1) Everyone has those establishments in their cities that went out of business; Fridays, hospitals, dennys, etc. USE THEM. I’m a HR Manager, I’m not going to dig for a reference from a closed business. Not in this lifetime.

Use your friends who are employed in corporate America as references. (Finesse #2) List them as former supervisors or managers. Pick your friends with professional phone voices who can gas you up in a corporate manner.

Research the pay rate for the company, city and position. (Finesse #3) They may be offering you 25K to be a store manager when in reality store managers in your exact city (or their employment averages) are making 35K. Do not be afraid to challenge a salary. It shows that you also did your homework on the position and the company. 

Chaotic good. 

[kimreesesdaughter]

Hershey’s Finesse Catalog

Cashier? Customer Service Manager

Human Resources Assistant? HR Generalist II 

Food Service Worker? Hospitality and Beverage Manager/Operator

Janitor? Sanitation Inspector

Dishwasher? Health and Sanitation operator

Shopback? Retail Inventory Manager

Stockroom? Inventory and production operator

[kimreesesdaughter]

@thisisnotanadultparty !!!! Per your request. 

[afrorevolution]

She’s actually a genius! She should write a life book I would buy! Always the plug!

[breakxxallxxrules]

@kimreesesdaughter oh snap I’m going to tweak up my resume 😂👌🏾 do you recommend that I use a PDF form for a resume?

[kimreesesdaughter]

Yes! Definitely use a PDF. I say this because, just in case you overlook any typos or errors, they won’t be as obvious. When recruiters open resumes in Word, here come all them damn squiggly red lines 🙄

[sugarmacaron]

what about background checks? thats gonna show us all for who we really are

[kimreesesdaughter]

Y'all are honestly overthinking this. You either take the tried and proven advice or you don’t and continue to make minimum wage at a job that should be paying you $16/hr.

Adulting is a finesse. If you don’t learn how to make things work for your advantage, you will not survive in this world or live the way you want to.

& one more time, BACKGROUND CHECKS ARE FOR CRIMINAL HISTORY! The only thing I would tell you to never lie about. You can go to any staffing agency and they would tell you to hype up your resume.

[okdeon]

[spookney]

actual footage of me conversing with me

[oscar-b-wylin]

I’m actually Eric Andre right now at this point in my life. Honestly. This is my current state. Help