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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@joeinspace
count dracula? uhhh ok. one
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE.
forgive and forget? wrong. charged two-handed heavy attack with my greatsword of resentment
candy before beer youre in the clear. beer before candy hurricane sandy
i should wake up and automatically be restored to full health, that's how sleeping should work, what is this horseshit
Y'all self conches about titty veins? Lol
We’re self conscious about everything
I’ll suck a blood clot out that MF like I’m Los Feratu
apparently i have a movie out…
Never ever ever eat raw white onion and then smoke cigarette.
The gnomes beat the shit out of you again?
The gnomes beat the shit out of me again.
its a healthy sign for your society when all the children and teenagers and adults watch a genre of cartoon about escaping your miserable life by suddenly dying and being transported to a world where you're strong, special, and liked. and your society produces hundreds of these cartoons every year
I Became A Sponge And Now My Boss's Daughter Can't Resist Me
Ants be like that
I used to keep track of the different ant colonies in my yard as a child and it was the wildest shit. You could tell the difference between colonies by colors & pattern if you looked closely enough. They’d stage ant wars on the sidewalks that lasted days, just ants murdering each other, and the cleanup afterwards would last days longer as the survivors pick up and carry away the carcasses. Once I saw a war happening between the colony that lived under the berry bush and a colony I didn’t recognize, and evidently the berry colony lost, because after the war their nest site was empty… and then a few days later was inhabited by the other colony that had fought them.
Once at a lake I saw an ant travel like 3 meters across flat rock carrying a dead ant, and he kept going until he got to the cliff side and then kept going down towards the water, and he didn’t stop until he got to where the rock was wet. Then he stood there for a few seconds, dropped the corpse into the water, waited a little longer, and then headed back the way he came. I feel like I witnessed a ceremony