Senpai, as an assassin you obviously observe. What do you observe about the romantic ways of all your friends?
The Steve Rogers way: admire her from a distance; make moo-moo-eyes at her during luncheon while simultaneously blushing. Leave anonymous love poems on her doorstep; get on her father’s/brother’s/roommate/friend’s nerves by lurking under her window all night. Avoid talking to her for the next couple of years and flee in panic every time she makes a move in your direction, hoping that she will finally get tired of your antics, tackle you down in the garden and tie you to a bench, you quoting ‘you want us to do what??’.
The Thor Odinson way: dig a hole in the ground; cover it up with branches and leaves.
Sit behind a tree and lurk.
Wait a little bit longer and finally keep whatever female/male is unfortunate enough to fall into this trap and marry them, saying ‘You are in my kingdom, and what is in my Kingdom is mine’.
This method has worked once; it will never work again and is not used anymore.
The Clint Barton way: Go on a drinking spree with your fellow warriors. Get stuck in a bar. Drink a bottle of wine. Watch the exotic dancers. Drink another bottle of wine. Smoke some of a travelling guy’s special weed. Drink another bottle of wine. Pass out. Wake up in the morning with the hangover from hell and realise that you a) have a dog tattooed on your left ass cheek and b) are married
The Adder Black way: Give longing looks following her everywhere, making sure you vanish in thin air as soon as she tries to approach you.
Your hand constantly on your forehead, and not forgetting to sigh painfully every time somebody mentions her name; “”Oh … ::sigh:: it is … ::dramatic pause:: … nothing … ::sigh::”
Reading love stories with tragic outcome and listening to sad songs. Taking strolls in the pale moonlight
Suffering. As much as possible. Visibly. Vocally. With tear-brimmed eyes.
Talking about her. Only about her. All the time.
Therefore you can only hope for her love filled heart and that her annoyed brother will not drown you in a pond before you reach your goal.
The Loki Laufeyson way: Hunt things and deposit the corpses in front of her apartment as a present. Invite all possible rivals for a hunt and show them how skilful you are in gutting a rabbit, scaring them off in the process.On occasion break down her door in the middle of the night and claim you’ve heard “suspicious noises” coming from her room, and lastly, and importantly, growl. And then eventually just point and say ‘you my bedroom, now!’.
And finally, because it’s only fair;
The Joe Fisher way: Hire a thug who shall pretend he wants to rob her earrings under a dark tree.
Storm heroically forward, shouting: “By God! Thou evil fiend! Thou shallst feel my anger and sword!”
Then beat the poor guy up. Make a big show out of it. And then pretend to be hurt.
Therefore you let her take you home and nurse you back to health. Showing your excitement about your miracle-recovery under her tender, caring hands
Quoting “The pain … is excruciating … but for you … I can bear it …”
Mind you, I attempted a somewhat way with my girlfriend (not with the thug, but the hurt part) she only rolled her eyes, told me to suck it up or she’d make it worse.
baratheonpilled
annaxmalina
blakekathryn
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