GET HER
ok on it
Sade Olutola

Andulka

No title available

shark vs the universe
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

izzy's playlists!

Origami Around
h

JVL
dirt enthusiast
occasionally subtle
Three Goblin Art
Claire Keane
Keni
cherry valley forever
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Not today Justin
art blog(derogatory)
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Puerto Rico
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Brazil
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
@johnathanm56
GET HER
ok on it
Is This Ethical?: new survey shows millennials want rudolph the red nose reindeer to be renamed Klonopin the Crust Punk Horse
my cuties 🍎🍆
2025 stats:
0 dubai chocolate ingested
0 labubus bought
0 episodes of stranger things watched
listening to an album you used to love but overplayed for yourself after a really long time after the overplayedness has worn off and it sounds like it's supposed to again is the closest to being in heaven you can get during your mortal life i think
man i cannot believe that Cheney died the same day that Zohran Mamdani got elected mayor of nyc
Dick Cheney died and the democrats genuinely fucking swept this whole off-year election
nature is healing, etc
okay for real though:
maine rejected a heinous voting restricting law & passed a red flag gun control law
colorado passed a tax on people who earn more than $300,000 a year, which will be used to fund food assistance programs
california passed its redistricting proposition, which heavily favors dems in a direct attempt to counter Republican gerrymandering on the national scale, in a landslide vote
in viginia, the state delegation went from 51-49 (D-R) to 63-37 (D-R), and dems also won the races for Governor, Lieutenant Governor, and Attorney General
and, again, Mamdani defeated Cuomo in the race for Mayor of NYC
like, holy fuck
they should put benches in stores over a certain size. Grocery stores, department stores, bigbox stores. Not just at the very front or outside or at the pharmacy, no. I mean sprinkled throughout the store.
why?
for fucking disabled people. for people who suddenly feel sick or in pain. for people who need a moment to sit and tend to a child's needs, or to rest with them to avoid a tantrum from their being tired. for anyone who just wants to sit and check their phone for a minute to stop feeling so rushed and hurried by everything around them.
i do not think i should have to sit on the fucking floor in every store i'm feeling bad in because there's zero places to sit that are accessible. i do not want to sit on the filthy floor and be in the way of other shoppers and risk being stepped on or tripped over because i Have To Sit Right Then Or Faint And Crack My Fucking Head Open. do you know the kinda shit that collects on store floors, despite regular cleaning???? the tracks of thousands of shoes bringing stuff in from outside.
i just want a bench. give me benches. this should not be a divisive issue, give me places to fucking sit.
And I worked with a man called Squidward. And he was a Protestant man, but we were the best of friends. But by God, he was crabid as a bag of cats. He was an auld grump. And he'd be big into the flutes and the Oboes and things like that. He lived in a big stone head.
you really do have to watch the video, it's everything
i cant believe there are people who still havent seen this video
I could probably recite this entire video, word-for-word, on demand.
“She-ra is not a sword..She-ra is you”
Garfield Centipede by unyunish on twitter
I have a new theory which has resulted from me writing porn on my phone which im certain is old hat to everyone but is new to me
it kinda goes like this
basically, as a person or community writes a kinky story for longer, they will kind of inevitably move up a chain of 'paradigms of justification' required to make the kink continue to make sense.
the pace will vary depending on the kink, but motion is inevitable.
---
so say you decide to write some rope bondage kink. as you continue to write, you are likely to progress through the stages as follows:
Stage 0 - Baseline: i am writing A tying up B, because i want to, A wants to, and B is into it (or isn't, depending on what kinda freak you are). Regular fic goes here.
Stage 1 - Psychological: Why is does A like tying up B? Why does B like being tied up? Normal character stuff. Not yet weird. You're still normal. If you mom found out you were writing this, she'd probably still love you.
Stage 2 - Logistical: How does A afford all those rope? Why hasn't B's hands fallen off from lack of circulation? Getting odd you'd write about this, but fair enough, real kinksters deal with this. You just like to pay attention to details.
Stage 3 - Sociological: You have written the kink long enough that you need it to be normalized in-universe in order to push the envelope. You need a Federal Department of Kinky Shit Why has nobody called the cops when B goes missing for three days due to the suspension bondage setup you researched for two hours last night? Did you just invent a law so its okay for A to tie up the pizza delivery guy? Why is it not a violation of the labour code that B spends all her time literally tied to her desk? This is where the descent into madness begins. You have total freedom now to introduce new characters, but they will probably end up being A-like and B-like because that's your kink and why you started writing in the first place. People laugh when they see the premise, but keep reading.
Stage 4 - Biological: Oh, now you fucked up. See, eventually, you're going to start wondering why the world is filled with people like A and B. You're going to need to answer definitively why B didn't fucking die when you accidentally wrote a poorly conceived stress position in chapter 2. You gotta answer why there's only like 1 A for every 10 Bs. You realize with horror you accidentally implied that shibari harnesses is literally a biological requirement for human reproduction. It's over for you. This is ABO with extra steps. Get thee to a nunnery.
Stage 5 - Synthesis: "Oh fuck, it all makes sense now." Terminal brain stoppage. Death would be a mercy. ---
The thing is, once you have progressed through these stages, you are going to skip ahead in future stories because, let's face it, its incredibly convenient to have these structures laid out for you. If you've gotten to Stage 3 in a previous fic and then start a new one, well, you could fuck around justifying what's going on, or you could simply bring back the Federal Department of Kinky Shit and jump straight to the silk cord. It's efficient and we're all busy people.
I ended up following this trajectory with my first set of Porn On Phone stories pretty closely:
Hot lady am sexy kidnaps!
But why am hot lady sexy kidnap?
How am hot lady afford lavish lifestyle for sexy kidnapee?
Why am nobody arrest hot lady for sexy kidnap?
am reason related to why am no men in stories?
characters am now exclaim 'judith christ!' when stub toe.
Terminal. Put me down like the dog I am.
But the dark realization I had, right about now, is that all the normie fics out there, all the boring straight stuff?
... yeah they're already at Stage 5. The straights are living at stage 5, patriarchy is their Federal Department of Kinky Shit, they believe in alphas and omegas already.
So, put that way, it's actually totally normal and okay to do this progression, right? Like, it's subversive. This is feminist! This is feminist! I scream, as I'm dragged into the van and driven down to the river to be drowned like an unwanted kitten. I'm the normal one! You're all mad!
anyway i started writing a star trek porn parody in an attempt to write 'normal' porn again, hit stage five within 3000 words, had a mental breakdown, and came here to write this.
Hey Fluffy, how've you been? :3
I've been okay! You?
BEE CAT, BEE CAT, BEE CAT, BEE CA-
@mokaiko, @johnathanm56, @toadalled, @crayoninosuke
Texas gave up that land so they could keep slavery:
“When Texas sought to enter the Union in 1845 as a slave state, federal law in the United States, based on the Missouri Compromise, prohibited slavery north of 36°30' parallel north. Under the Compromise of 1850, Texas surrendered its lands north of 36°30' latitude.”
Tell me more about how critical race theory shouldn’t be taught in school.
I am a grown ass man and I just learned about this 5 minutes ago. Fuck everything about trying to hide the sins of our past.
me: “yeah I dated a guy in high school who came out as gay. it was before i knew i was a boy so needless to say it didn’t work out”
coworker: “damn dude was preordering”
other things this coworker (who is a cis guy) has done/said:
—got confused about why I’d never been a boy scout because he forgot i was trans
—told me he was gonna get top surgery scar tattoos to match me after i get mine
—laughs at all my trans jokes, even if they’re supremely unfunny
—calls me big dog (and him little dog) even though he is about as tall as two of me
— “I can’t believe she would say that transphobic thing to you. In June? Pride month?”
Once I said "My gender is whatever's funniest at the time" and my coworker stops dead in his tracks, turns slowly and says "So are your pronouns honk/honk?" killing me instantly