BRAVE AND STRONG AND BROKEN ALL AT ONCE

❝ SHE’S INtimidating AND BROODING AND SHE SCARES PEOPLE AWAY, BECAUSE SHE’S ( NOT ) MADE OF S U G A R AND SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE. BUT RATHER F I R E AND LIGHTENING AND EVERYTHING FRIGHTENING. PEOPLE SEE THE SMOLDERING FLAMES AND THE RAGING WINDS AND THEY ( THINK ) THAT SHE’S STRONG. THEY THINK THAT SHE’S POWERFUL. BUT REALLY, SHE JUST TENDS TO BURN HERSELF DOWN. ❞ +var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5375533"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//s1.freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=&e2=&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write("");

[jolics-blog]

( !* 📲 ; safiyah !!! ⇄ joo joo 🍕💅🏼💛

safiyah: IM HURT

safiyah: ill come up to ur suite during break and annoy u with all my damp hair n swimsuit bc i LOVE U

safiyah: UR SO PASSIONATE ABOUT POOL SAFETY I LOVE THIS

safiyah: YES THEY DID

safiyah: they'll shit in my pool if i tell them im currently texting the star they love most

safiyah: how about those nice pretty walmart rings that look like it could be sold by tiffany and co??

jolie: as am i after your ":~)" face rather than a real emoji??

jolie: but then again the new ios update emojis r ugly so i mean yikes

jolie: ill have towels out in the front of the door ready so u can dry up and now wet my floors w ur chlorine water

jolie: speaking of chlorine water, does your hair smell?? like is the color disoriented im v concerned over ur hair

jolie: IDK IF IM PASSIONATE ABOUT POOL SAFETY BUT IF IT MAKES U HAPPY THEN SHIT U RIGHT !! POOL SAFETY IS SO IMPORTANT !! NO RUNNING IN THE WATER !!! OR ON THE SIDE !!! BREATHE WHEN U SWIM !! NO JUMPING !! SAFETY !!!

jolie: sdogfijbdvoijklm tell them but also take a video and send it to me because shit can go viral and we can all meet ellen together

jolie: ive already met the jimmys i just need ellen and with this video opp it can finally happen

jolie: uhm...??? walmart rings?? ... saf... i love u ... but like...

jolie: how about ill gift u the rings and then u can give it to me and i'll act surprised

jolie: WE CAN DO THE BEYONCE DANCE AT OUR WEDDING

jolie: LIKE THE VID OF THE GIRL AND HER BRIDESMAIDS DANCING AT HER WEDDING W THE BEYONCE SONGS

jolie: WE'D BE 10X HOTTER TOO OMG

[emvrys-blog]

° ✧ SNAPCHAT — ALL CONTACTS !

emory: why do i wear a name-tag if everyone calls me ‘maid’ emory: anyways it’s been a long day & all i want is vodka emory: but all i have is stale wine

[jolics-blog]

jolie: some people dont see the need to know the name of the help jolie: and considering the help being you then i dont see the need for it anyways jolie: stale wine?? jolie: trash drinks trash i guess :/ 

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sav: aww you’re making me blush jo u r too kind !!! sav: oh i can only imagine trying to get out all of those knots!! poor thing :/ sav: ofc!! i can do the pythagorean theory ik the mitochondria is the power house of the cell sav: yeah it really was a dream! you’ve been on a set or two right?? sav: hahah no but i’m sure that must’ve sucked for you! maybe i can talk to my dad and get you a one-liner part next time

jolie: i try to be as kind as i can omg !!  jolie: its literally a mess and if they pull too hard on them i scream and ugh having to fire them for too many pulls a day is so annoying bc i gotta find new ones and ugh so much work jolie: thats so cute !! u know basic biology and math !! go savvy !!!  jolie: yeah i’ve been on a lot of sets here and there! atlanta, vancouver, germany, paris, tokyo, you know! the usuals!! jolie: sav ur soooo funny omg!! jolie: i don’t play extras, i play cameos if anything!!! jolie: and the only screen times where i only have one-liner parts are for 15 second commercials, but i’m not really sure if you’ve been asked to do commercials to promote & sponsor brands, so i understand if u dont get what i’m talking about !!  jolie: feel free to tell your dad about me tho!! jolie: if he needs good actresses rather than the amateurs he has been hiring, then he can call my manager :) 

[jolics-blog]

sms!!: maverick  ⇄  (???)

maverick: i accidentally watched the trailer for the human centipede today and i'm emotionally scared for life

maverick: but then again all three of them are on netflix

maverick: and i need to not watch it for my emotional health but????

jolie: why would you even resort to that trauma

jolie: were u alone ?? was the lights off?? u played URSELF

jolie: pls dont tell me ur considering watching it

jolie: i watched the movie and was afraid of german men for a month

jolie: i literally had to cancel my german press conference bc i watched the movie dont do that to urself

jolie: eat lofthouse sugar cookies love urself mave

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safiyah: yes it was the hot boilin ramen safiyah: hmm she cute imo she cute she damn eloquent but she also cute safiyah: I DID RIP i truly did i thought i was so cool safiyah: neither BUT i did wear like 4 layers of pitch black eyeliner and only wore black for a long time its crazy why was i like that WHY

jolie: do u feel hot when people talk about hot things?? jolie: r u easy to turn on?? is it like a stove top and the minute the gas hits the burner fire comes out jolie: I CANT BELIEBE U HAD THE TOGGLE CASE OMFG THATS EVEN WORSE  jolie: i get the wearing all black thing bc hella people still do that but the 4 layers of pitch black eyeliner... saf.. jolie: u played urself... jolie: do u have any pictures...  jolie: like im not gonna post it or laugh THAT loud but u know like jolie: hit a girl up w/ the pics  jolie: can’t believe im gonna change ur name in my phone as SaFiiYaH jolie: wait let me fix that n make it more emo  jolie: xO_SaFiiYaH_oX

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emory: u blame me for this?? emory: honestly ur the actress here if anyone’s fake it’s you  emory: cause have u met yourself?? emory: i don’t think you’ve ever said anything honest in ur life

jolie: it’s not like im gonna blame myself lmao ??  jolie: i fake for a living to get paid i dont fake 24/7 u THOT  jolie: not to sound like jackie burkhart but if i could run across the beach and into my own arms i 10/10 would because i’m hella jolie: i’ve never said anything honest in my life?? jolie: my insults towards you are 100% honest like ?? jolie: when i say ur hair needs a cut then i mean ur hair needs a cut  jolie: and a stylist jolie: and touchups jolie: maybe a wig

[jolics-blog]

( !* 📲 ; safiyah !!! ⇄ joo joo 🍕💅🏼💛

safiyah: u love me :~)

safiyah: wow ok tru u know what i feel like?? mac and cheese like super cheesy super creamy stove top mac and cheese idk why im like this

safiyah: i KNOW its like hey kid u dont have a spare neck alright u break that ur done for

safiyah: THESE KIDS WERE TALKING ABT HOW MUCH THEY LOVED U im dying it was hilarious like they were abt to wank off just knowing ur in the same hotel

safiyah: sTOP ur so helpful how have i not married u already jolie???

jolie: i love u?? debatable :-)

jolie: super cheesy super cream stove top mac & cheese comin' up for u!!! do u want me to have them deliver it to ur work or like?? do u wanna come up to my suite during ur break?? what u wanna do??? do u want garlic bread too

jolie: EXACTLY WHY R KIDS LIKE THIS LIKE U ONLY GOT ONE LIFE I GET IT LIKE !! YOLO THATS THE MOTTO !! BUT R U REALLY GONNA RISK UR NECK FOR A TRICK IN THE POOL SEEN BY 3 OF UR LAME FRIENDS?? COME ON !!!!!

jolie: WERE THOSE KIDS REALLY??

jolie: suddenly theyre not as dumb as i thought.. they have some brain in those head of theirs... tell them i love all of my fans n ill visit them for a photo opp

jolie: u havent put a ring on it yet ://

jolie: i like diamonds jsyk

jolie: and a lot of carats

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zayd: yeah i saw that, sorry love but that shoot was a complete bust. your photographer really didn’t do you justice, therefore you should recommend me to your VS pals :) i know what im doing. zayd: you sound really defensive, but i’m glad about ur faux fur coats zayd: hey i’m not the one who came up with that, but also dumb as fuck pretending people animal calls are ways to say i love you. why dont you just say i love you? zayd: are you personally offended by lions? in an aggressive i wanna kill you way, wow thats so nice. your right i should take it back zayd: well i gotta congratulate you on your sucesses then.

jolie: im shook.  jolie: first u insult my shoot and then you say i should recommend you to vs as their new photographer? are you kidding me? what type of disrespectful nonsense?? jolie:  im not defensive!!! jolie: idk people just wanna be cute like an animal and make animal calls instead of actually saying i love you?? jolie: middle school is rough for everyone and i’m pretty sure that’s when everyone decided animal calling were more romantic than the actual words.  jolie: i dont know what you just said but yes??? actually really offended?? jolie: does this mean i was right about the lions did i win this argument  jolie: thank you, it took me 4 years for that diploma 

[jolics-blog]

text ✉ ; zayd ⇄ jolie

zayd: dunno you most likely were doing v important things with your time

zayd: unless you like to sit and watch me at the bar love, no shame

zayd: well fuck I'm sued he's most definitely the definition of a white boy

zayd: wow, am I gonna get sued for namedropping you in a conversation if i say i know you?

zayd: dunno guess i'll hope for solitary confinement?

zayd: or that they accidentally sent me to a womens prison i wouldnt mind that

zayd: babe, orange is no ones colour. not even yours :) so i think we're all even.

jolie: u right.. i was probs doing press or on set or doing a shoot

jolie: i don't have time to watch a bartender do his job when i have my own job to do, but if thinking that i watch you during work helps you perform better, then go for it boo

jolie: .... if he's the definition of a white boy then i'd probs start getting my lawyer ready. or sue him first before he can sue you.

jolie: as long as you're not using my name to sell your products, then you can namedrop me all you want. unless you're name dropping me and making me seen as an accomplice for a crime i didn't commit, then i'll sue

jolie: solitary confinement can lead to insanity do u really wanna do that to urself...

jolie: orange? is not my color? i'd beg to differ. have you seen me in a nice low toned orange dress with a white background and and white lace for extra touches?? bc DAMN let me tell u

jolie: orange is DEF my color

[jolics-blog]

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inez: pls angel, rock that blush like you bought it from sephora inez: i mean UR GLOWING. LOOK AT THAT HIGHLIGHT inez: it’s the lipstick chica inez: and the heels inez: and my fiery latina blood inez: next time we need to get ready to slay together

jolie: i think my blush is from mac (??) but !!  jolie: THANK U SO MUCH OMFG I APPLIED THE HIGH LIGHT MYSELF THIS TIME  jolie: INSTEAD OF MAKING MY MAKEUP ARTIST DO IT FOR ME AND I THOUGHT I ADDED TOO MUCH BUT IM SO GLAD U LIKE IT IVE BEEN SO SELF CAUTIOUS ABOUT IT OMG jolie: ur fiery latina blood is such a beauty i can’t believe i have a baddie like u in my life jolie: yes pls omg!! my changing room is soo big even with my makeup artist & stylist being in there with me so yes pls!! jolie: i can feel less lonely and u can do my makeup instead of my m.a !! 

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zara: i could only DREAM about my hair looking that nice zara: teach me ur ways pls zara: it was def rawr don’t ask me why i know i just do

jolie: come over n ill have my hairdresser fix up your hair and cut out all the dead u have on it  jolie: have u considered using coconut oil ?? bc shit does WONDERS jolie: IM SAYIN’ jolie: were u a scene kid?? did you say “nohomo” as you said it too?? 

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zayd:  well fuck, imma save myself and say you got that natural wet victoria secret just outta the water look hair….??? zayd: i just get the fake vibe from you… zayd: i can’t believe anyone would ever start roar means i love you in lion bc thats dumb as fuck zayd: roar would mean the opposite of i love you, it’d very likely mean im gonna rip you to shreds zayd: although a nice little theory, thatstoo much effort zayd: wow.. the way your mind works, you’ve gotta be an intellect.

jolie: hell fucking yeah i do are you kidding?? i wasnt featured on vs pink for nothing PAL  jolie: the fake vibe from me...?? the only thing fake is the fur on my faux fur coats  jolie: you know whats dumb as fuck? misspelling rawr and making a dead and extinct animal be the face of it jolie: thats actually really rude to say about lions?? like what if roar is like “i love u” in lion but in a v aggressively passionate way??? what about that???  jolie: i am an intellect i have a hs diploma to prove it 

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sav: ofc darling, i’m just being honest!! sav: yeah omg rumour has it she used my lips as inspiration  sav: haha right !! def takes more than 2 to manage u  sav: weird.. thank god i didn’t spend much time in school  sav: i grew up on movie sets so i guess i lucked out there :)

jolie: did kylie really?? hmm i always thought she was going for the big latina lips but u could be right since ur lips r so luscious  jolie: with my hair being so big only having one person to tame the mane is so rough!! jolie: did you go to school?? you have a hs diploma right?? jolie: you grew up on movie sets?? that must be so exciting omfg!! jolie: were you an extra that people new saw on screen when they needed extras for the movies?? 

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safiyah: u have such a way with words i think im wet  safiyah: ur like modern day elizabeth barrett browning  safiyah: nope bUT i did have the rAwR xD means i love u in dinosaur as my profile picture smh 

jolie: was it the hot ramen?? is that when u started leaking?? jolie: i dont even know who elizabeth barrett browning is but if shes not a hot piece of ass then i refuse jolie: YOU HAD IT WITH LOWER AND UPPER CASE OMFG  jolie: SAF  jolie: did u have the side swept scene bangs too???  jolie: or the strip of hair that was colored pink/blue/purple/zebra?? 

[davidbeckhamhq]

[jolics-blog]

you can never be too kind or loving, it’s just people have become so unaccustomed to it that they see it as threatening or as a bad thing. i don’t know i think there’s a way to balance ambition without stepping on others. well i’m not going to reject the cookies to their face, what kind of monster would do that. probably the same kind that hurt puppies. the raisins are underappreciated, they get a bad wrap when they’re really not that bad. also the only way i get to eat my oatmeal cookies is if i smile through the raisins. maybe it was a test… but i thought they were used well. it was a cute idea. lofthouse cookies are my existance if i don’t have a pack in my room i’m not really sure what to do with life. 

i don’t know if they always see it as threatening or as a bad thing, sometimes people see kindness as weakness and naive. is there really a way though? like, yeah, maybe years ago, but can you really be ambitious without stepping on other’s toes in this day and age? because that sounds fake and feels fake. ah, but nothing telling them to their faces makes them think they’re already good when in reality they need so much more practice before they go around opening 10 bakeries. hurting puppies and keeping someone from the truth is two very different things, mav. the raisins are monsters! they’re under appreciated because theres nothing to appreciate! ... you’re trying to tell me you prefer raisins over oatmeal? i feel offended and shook just hearing that. if it was a test and they used it despite making it visually pleasing, then it’s still a F on the report card. wait a minute! you have lofthouse sugar cookies in your room 24/7? i need to go to your room more, mav. invite me over or i’ll intrude every time the cravings kick in. 

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inez: slay mamacita inez: hair game. on fucking point inez: i approve

jolie: stopppp im blushing !!!!  jolie: your everything on point jolie: ur snapped open and i was like !!! heart eyes for days im so in love w ur everything  jolie: how do u do it every single time idgi??? just roll out looking as flawless as u do?? jolie: im so?? how ??  jolie: share ur secrets mami im dyin’