Request: Can I request a chanyeol fluff where he starts his normal job as a barista where y/n often visits. Though chanyeol rally likes her, he never really shows up or takes her order when she’s there. yet he expresses her love for her through the type of coffee he prepares for her every day.
— b y u n b a e k h y u n
(extra)ordinary. Mini Masterlist (on hold)
Summary: It all begin when a law student met a young CEO at a courtroom. So many questions went through each other’s mind, yet neither ask each other the question. You’re now have graduated, desperate for jobs, but what would you do when you meet the CEO at the homicide case trial again after a year?
The President Mini Masterlist (on hold)
Summary: Being the youngest Minister is not easy, but what happened when The President took a special interest on you?
Our Silent Battle - Oneshot (angst)
Summary: The devils inside of you is suffocating the both of you. It’s slowly killing both of you inside. Yet both of you keep it all inside, pretending that nothing happened. And you want a change, a change that he too needs.
Love From Another Time mini masterlist (on hold)
Summary: What would happened between an immortal and a time traveler who’s on the run?
— k i m j u n m y e o n
Winter Miracle - Oneshot (angst, fluff)
Summary: Your life was a mess. Until one snowy day, you entered a coffee shop, and your life changed. And you love the change. Cold used to be your friend, your favorite, but he, he came and change it all. And you love it. You love him.
too close. - Oneshot (angst, fluff)
Summary: what are we? we are too close for friends, too distant for lover. you are so close yet so far. we both know there’s something between us, but what is it? are you entirely sure that you’re letting her go? or are you slowly coming back… to her?
BTS:
— k i m n a m j o o n
a little comfort to my broken soul - oneshot (angst, fluff)
Summary: Everyone knows that the Princess of Saturn is best friends with the Prince of Jupiter. The princess’ and prince’s love & thirst for knowledge was what brought them together. It’s only inevitable in everyone’s thought that they end up together. But what happened is not what it seems to be…
my precious burst of energy - oneshot (fluff)
Summary: You were in the last year of your university. Essays here and there, not to mention researches. To sum it up, it was hell. And you felt like you made a great decision when you decided to move into a cozy nice medium sized apartment near your campus. And your roommate happened to be the campus’ most feared guy. But little incident lead to a thing. What happened though when said incident happened to someone who has graduation on the line and in the middle of breakdown?
residency troubles - oneshot (angst, fluff)
Summary: You were a resident in her 3rd year at a prestigious hospital, who happened to be the daughter of the director of said hospital, and had a little bit dark past. Professor Kim was a neurosurgeon, who came to the States, but decided to come back, and work for the hospital you were at. And then one occurrence lead to another.
— j e o n j u n g k o o k
white chrysanthemum - oneshot (angst, fluff)
Summary: white chrysanthemum represents truth and loyal love. After much heartbreaks and lies, maybe he was just what you need all along
author’s note: Long time no see everyone! Finally just finished hs, and I’m super burnout... and tired... and I had no time to write anything at all. This story is fully based on my life experience btw, truly the story of my life, 100%, and just happened like... yesterday... and i felt the need to pour it into a writing, so here it is! hope you enjoy it!
word count: 1.7k
genre: angst + fluff, unrequited? but not exactly?
jeon jungkook x f! readers
high school!au drabble
The first time you met Jungkook was that one afternoon in high school. You remember how you felt intimidated at first. Strong gaze pointed at you, and when you caught his gaze, you can’t help but look away, feeling small under his gaze. Strangely, something about him infatuated you. You were both happened to join the same club, and him being your senior. The glasses sitting at the stem of his nose compliment his look and you have the impression that he’s one of the smart student.
You remember how his gaze made you feel shy. For some reason, you were motivated to make a good first impression, motivated to impress him. But being the shy person that you were, you can’t help but held yourself back, it was in your nature. But your friend, Rina, the extrovert one between the both of you, able to brought the best of you. It was thanks to her that you able to break the ice within you and within everyone in the room.
But the first time you had proper interaction was that time, when you were playing around with Rina’s little brother. You can’t help but tickle his tummy, and he in return giggled before he had enough and swat your hand with his little one. And you giggle at the cuteness. Jungkook watched the both of you with such fondness in his eyes, if only you noticed him. You leaned back onto the chair you sat on and your stare landed on him.
Shyly, you greeted him. “Hi” you said, with a soft smile.
He returned the smile, his finger pushed his glasses back up his nose. “Hi” he greeted back.
“I’m y.n, nice to meet you” you introduced yourself as you move to a seat closer to where he was. You didn’t know where this confidence came from, but you welcomed it gladly.
“I’m Jungkook, nice to meet you too”
—
And from then on, you got closer to him. After you exchanged numbers, it became an everyday thing to have some chitchat with him that lasted hours. It almost come to a point where you enjoyed going to school only to get a glimpse of his face. He made you feel giddy inside. The smiles he sent your way when you both caught each other’s stare, or the waves he sent. Or when he greeted you when you meet in the hallway. But him being a year above you means there’s only so much chance you both can meet if it’s outside club activities.
And so club meetings become your favourite time. Your club was invited for an exchange program to Japan and you couldn’t be more excited to go. But what excited you more was the thought of spending more time with him overseas.
“What are you most excited for?” Jungkook asked you as he sat beside you in one of the meeting.
You thought a bit before you answer him. “You know, since they give us a free time, I can’t wait to visit Harajuku, seems like it’ll be up my alley” you told him.
“Ah is that so? I visited there once, and I really want to go to Akihabara again” he told you.
You turned your head towards him, leaning closer before you said, “well, we can spend our free time together and visit those places?” You suggested, hopeful.
He turned his head at you and smile sweetly. “Should we?” He said followed with a giggle that you can’t help but giggled along to.
—
And come d-day. Your health suddenly dropped. You curled in bed, trying to dress up to no avail. The ache in your stomach beating any other sense of yours. And just like that, you had to cancel your flight and your travel altogether.
Feeling so upset, you spent the rest of the day crying. It was so devastating that you can’t help but cried throughout the day. It was almost overpowering the pain you initially felt in your stomach. But you comfort yourself, thinking there’s always next year.
A ding from your phone was heard. Weakly, you opened it, a message from Jungkook popped up
jungkook: you wont come with us? :(
jungkook: get well soon :((
jungkook: I’ll miss u so so much over here :(((
A small smile graced your face at his message. It’s crazy how his little message able to cheer you up.
y.n: yup, this sucks so bad, and im crying myself to sleep
y.n: thank you
y.n: I’ll miss you too :(((
So Jungkook sent you updates from time to time throughout the trip. He’d tell you about the activities he did that day. Or sometimes he’d send videos if something interesting happened. He’d send you pictures of him that he took with your other friends.
Those updates from him became your highlight of your day when he was away, it brought a smile to your face every time. Even that time he whined to you how his flight back home got delayed due to bad weather, and you chuckled while comforting him.
In return, you’d send him some updates on what you were doing, despite it being less interesting than his. He’d cheer you up and joked around with you, and it made you giggle every time.
And you realised. You had totally become enamoured by him.
—
One of the thing you hated was your tendency to get nervous mid chatting with him. You got insecure that you’d bore him out. And in return you’d leave him hanging, before answering a little while later, giving him excuses.
But you were scared. And you were insecure. And these thing made you do irrational things. And as time passed by, your nervousness made you ignore him altogether. You kept on pushing it, “I’ll answer him later” with that thought in your mind, but in fact you return the message much much later. And you hated yourself for that.
Because of that bad tendency, you found the distance between him and you started being more obvious and you hate it. You wanted to go back to the old good times, but you didn’t know how.
Is it even normal to get jealous at seeing how your other friends in the club still able to hang out with him even after graduating? Is it even normal to get jealous and curious to see him with other girls? He wasn’t even yours to begin with. He wasn’t yours to begin with and yet here you are, feeling jealous.
And you hated it. You hated it even more knowing that it was your own self that brought you into this situation. You want to rekindle your relationship with him but you don’t know how.
—
It took you quite a while, but you finally did. You heard from others that he’s now moving away for university. And it’s far. A pang in your heart was felt. You grew more desperate. And your desperation was what moved you to texted him after a long time.
y.n: jungkook
y.n: heard you’re moving to Germany? :((
Not long later, a ding was heard from your phone, and you grew nervous.
jungkook: yeah
jungkook: I’m going this Sunday :(
You swore your heart stopped. You wanted to cry.
y.n: is that so????
y.n: that’s really around the corner oh my god?
y.n: im going to miss you so much :(
For some reason, you felt the sudden urge to confess your feeling to him. Call it desperation, but it is desperation that might pushed you. The desperation you felt was also your confidence to finally spill the feeling you’ve been feeling for him.
y.n: I just… I have to admit something
He had yet to answer. And for a moment you chickened out. And you pressed unsend option on the message, heart beating fast.
jungkook: I saw you unsent something
jungkook: what were you going to say?
Your heart stopped. You swore it did. You bite your lower lip out of nervousness. Fingers shaking as you contemplate on what to do. But you realised it’s now or never.
y.n: it’s just… I have to admit something
y.n: call me crazy… but I feel the need to tell you this, because you deserve to know, and it’s now or never but… I like you, for a long time now. I know I’m late, and you don’t have to answer this, but I just feel the need to let you know that I like you. ofc you don’t have to reciprocate it, it’s totally fine, but if you ever did… then I’d like to thank u?
y.n: but I also want you to know that I treasure our friendship so much and it’s so important to me because you’re also the best of a friend that anyone could ever ask for :)
You pressed send. Heart beating fast against the cage. You saw him typing something, nervously waiting for his reply.
jungkook: wow…
jungkook: I dont know what to say…
jungkook: but did you know that I liked you too?
And just like that, your eyes widened. You couldn’t believe what you were reading.
y.n: you did???
jungkook: I did… but I was too much of a coward to tell you…
jungkook: you’re far more impressive than i am for finding the courage… whoa…
Reading his messages, you scowled, a pout formed on your face.
y.n: ARE YOU KIDDING ME
y.n: JUNGKOOK
y.n: jungkook come on, it really is a what could have been situation..
y.n: but… there’s no way that you didn’t know that I like you though… I made it quite obvious that I do
You waited for his reply still with a pout on your face.
jungkook: I do, you were being obvious
jungkook: and I liked it
jungkook: look, I hope you don’t avoid me just because you confessed okay? :(
jungkook: I like talking with you, so if you avoid me… I’d come back and I will not hesitate to scold you.
You chuckled. You might missed the chance, but for some reason, you were just glad that you confessed your feeling. For some reason, you were rather happy that you finally told him how you felt.
y.n: how could you?! SCOLD ME? After leaving me???
y.n: so you’ll come back here to scold me? not to take me on a date?
It was a joke, you meant that as a joke and to teased him.
Summary: You were a resident in her 3rd year at a prestigious hospital, who happened to be the daughter of the director of said hospital, and had a little bit dark past. Professor Kim was a neurosurgeon, who came to the States, but decided to come back, and work for the hospital you were at. And then one occurrence lead to another.
Warning: abusive parent figure, family problems, violence, minor character’s death, childhood trauma, infidelity, light smut scene (not reader’s), grammar mistakes, incorrect medical terms, failing english
word count: 10.8K
kim namjoon x f! readers
doctor!au
Sound of ECG being the only sound that you could register, amidst the layers of yells being thrown at you, or your surrounding. The rapid sound the machine made, indicating how the person on the bed was unstable. Having been pushed aside, you could only watch, not knowing what to do anymore. You saw the doctor giving the patient CPR, sweats running down his face, as he fight for the life that literally depending on his hand. You could only wish miracle upon the sky.
But then, just like how the sky granted your wishes, the ECG sound was back to normal. Heart rate continue to beat stable, and gradually getting steady. The doctor stepped aside, before he wipes the precipitation on his face, from the energy he spent trying to save a life. He glare into your way. His glare was cold. Shivers running down your spine. It’s like a bucket of cold water had been poured over you. You gulped down, and quietly follow him into a space where no patients were in vicinity.
This was the calm before the storm.
“Are you even a doctor?” He asked. His voice was cold and distant. It feels like the alcohol swab that you use before getting pricked by a needle.
You looked down, only able to stare at your feet. You knew it was your fault. Your fault here could be someone else’s life being endangered. And you should have known better. It’s not like it was your first year. And you acted like a complete intern.
“I’m sorry doc, it won’t happen again” you said.
“Yeah, because when you did it again, a patient would die!” He yelled the last part at your face. You flinched a little bit at the sudden raise of voice.
“I’m sorry doc” you said, your voice sounds even more inaudible if it was even possible.
“God y.n, you’re fucking clumsy! How could you even get into residency? I wonder… Daddy’s money?” He said in a belittling voice.
You gulped down. You want to fight back, but you can’t. His aura was way too overbearing and powerful for you to beat.
“You can’t do a single thing right! Nothing! You keep making rookie mistakes!” He yelled. “That patient, he was allergic to your prescription, and he could have DIED! But no, you ignore the chart, and act like a know it all!” He yelled once again. And you took it like a big girl, holding your tears in. Was it because of the yell? Or was it because you almost cost someone’s life? You didn’t know anymore.
“Fix it, another one rookie mistake, and you are over” he reprimanded before he left you alone with your thoughts.
You solemnly walk towards the office room, sitting on your reserved desk. You lean back into the back of the arm chair. You let out a sigh, feeling like a heavy burden in your chest was lifted. You quickly wiped your tears that threatened to fall. You shook your head.
“That was stupid mistake” you mumble to yourself. “You were an idiot pretending to be a know it all” you continued,
Your train of thoughts were being cut off as the sound of door opening filling the room. You looked towards the source of disturbance, seeing your friend who was in a no better shape walking in. Just like you, she plopped onto her armchair, energy drained from her soul.
She rolled her armchair towards yours. She put her hand into her scrubs pocket as she fished for something. She pulled out a banana milk and handed it towards you. You take it with a grumble, signing that you indeed need some sugar right now,
“God, you’re still here?” Jiwoo asked as she take a sip of her strawberry milk.
You nodded with a pout on your face as you took a sip of the banana milk Jiwoo so kindly gave. “Professor Park needs me to do some errand last night so I couldn’t go home, and then when I knew it, it’s already morning! And then there plenty of emergency cases I need to handle, and then… Doctor Yoo yelled at me” you said. Your voice was solemn. Your eyes were looking down. Exhaustion was evident in your demeanour alone.
“Is it because of Minwoo? The seven year old kid?” Jiwoo asked to which you responded with a nod.
Jiwoo suddenly bend down to look at your face better. “God, I was damn tired, and then I see your face and I immediately feel better” she said.
You looked up, you gave her a cheeky smile. “Why? Because I’m a doctor and I’m pretty?” You said as you put your palm into a flower pose.
Jiwoo scrunched her nose. “No, because it looks so apparent you just got dragged into hell and your eyebags are competing with pandas’” she said. “Just go home y.n, it’s not even healthy anymore” she added.
“I can’t, I’m going to assist Professor Park’s surgery, and maybe after that, I’ll be able to go home” you said, your frown became more apparent.
Jiwoo got up from her seat before she gave you a pat on your head. “Good luck, and I better not see you here after my surgery is over!” She said.
“Whose surgery are you assisting?” You asked before she walked out.
She shrugged her shoulders. “Professor Lee’s.”
Sound of ECG once again rang through your ears. It’s drumming inside your very being to the point you swore you can hear it in your silence mind. The tension was high inside this operation room. Your heart was drumming inside your chest.
“Suction” Professor Park asked, You quietly handed him the suction.
You prayed to all Gods above that this too shall be saved. He deserves another life. You knew that better than anyone here. Well maybe, other than Professor Park himself. God, he was just seven year old, there’s so many things he needs to see, he needs to be, and you want to save him more than anything else.
“Professor, he’s losing a lot of blood, he’s unstable” the anaesthesiologist said.
You can see Professor Park’s brows furrowed, as he was getting even more focused if that was even possible. You saw him getting even more frustrated but he keep composed.
Suddenly the heart rate picks up. Your head snapped towards the ECG, like an instinct. “Professor-“
“I know, y.n, I know” he cut you off. You can feel his frustration and desperation in his voice. You grew antsy and anxious. And yet you held it in. You might get kicked out if you show signs of such things and that’d be the least thing you want.
You can see that the anaesthesiologist getting even more anxious. And that really didn’t help you calm down in any way. You knew this was bad. When the professor did all the right thing, but the patient keeps being unstable, you knew this was bad. You knew Professor Park done all the best he could, and yet you knew the boy wasn’t going to make it. In fact, everyone in the room knew that. But everyone, gave their best till the very end.
Until the sound of flat line hit your ear drums.
You grew motionless.
But Professor Park wasn’t one to give up. He kept trying to revive the kid. Wanting to give him the last chance he could get.
But the universe wants him back. They love him more.
And so you watch as the kid lay there on his death bed, motionless, no heart activity. Everyone in the room hung their heads low. Everyone tried their best, but fate says it’s time for him to go.
It’s the thought that the kid was so young. So fragile. So small in this big world. So many for him to explore… and they took that away from him.
“Time of death, 12th of May 2020, 10:25” Professor Park announced.
The operation room was solemn. And you quietly close him up. You move your emotion aside, as you carefully close him up, not wanting him to hurting despite his inability to feel.
As soon as you were out of the room, you were walking like a corpse, too many thoughts went pass your head. And yet you can’t think of a specific one. You should have gotten used to patients’ death, and yet you don’t. Every each one still hits you hard. Watching someone’s life depended on you and yet they still losing grasp, it’s always hurts, it’s always feel you’ve failed them each time, despite you knowing that there’s nothing you can do.
You walk back towards your office. Your head hung low. Tears were brimming in your eyes. Your chest was heavy and painful. The kid deserves so much more. And it hits you like brick. You don’t even want to imagine how the mother must be feeling if you were feeling this way. Memories of how you played around with him, laugh with him, giving him encouragements and comforts, as he went through his time in the hospital, flashes by you. You wiped the tears that had fallen down as you continue to made your way back into your office to pack and clocked out.
You entered the passcode into your digital lock, your emotion and energy were as drained as ever. You sighed as you entered your apartment. You threw your bag carelessly as you walked into your kitchen. You reached for a glass to pour yourself some water. The water did somewhat its work on soothing your heart that was in agony. But you were tired. You want nothing but to sobs into your pillow.
You looked into the couch in the living room. Your boyfriend’s shirt was there, and you for a moment wonder. The weather was cold and your boyfriend… felt hot?
Suspicion immediately filling your head. You brace yourself for whatever behind the door of your shared bedroom. You brace yourself for another heartbreak.
And then you heard it,
“Seokjin, please don’t stop- ah- fuck, please don’t stop!” A girl, who certainly wasn’t you cried out.
You were beyond mortified. Your eyes widened. You were disgusted beyond anything as you very well know what’s going on behind the door.
You opened the door roughly, it bang to the frame. You saw them, on your bed. Your Bed. Your boyfriend on top of her, having his balls deep into her. You were hurt, betrayed, but most of all, you were livid. You were furious above all.
But both of them wasn’t any better. They both looked at you, flustered, that you caught them red handed. You scoffed at the sight.
“I should have expected that” you said. Your voice was rather calm. But anyone who heard that, and see how you shook on your ground, knows that this was the calm before the storm.
You saw your boyfriend moved to reach out to you. The girl beneath him whimpered as he moved. You immediately feel waves of disgusts all over your body, drowning you in it.
“Just fucking finished your thing, and pack your things after that” you said before you step out of the room, not bothering to even close the door.
Seokjin finally pulled out and stepped onto the floor, racing towards you.
He grabbed a hold of your hand that you roughly tossed.
“You are filthy, so please don’t touch me” you said, your voice who usually full of warmness for him, now cold and full of venom.
Seokjin knew he messed up. He never sees you like this, but then again there was a first for everything. You were usually cheerful, bubbly, your voice held such warmth that makes anyone that come across you wants to be by you all the time, no doubt.
“Please listen-“
“Listen to what Kim Seokjin? I saw it all! You were spared on the need to explain!” You yelled. Your composure was failing and you don’t have the intention to keep it.
He stayed silent, he knew there was nothing to explain, when you saw it all. And you knew that too.
“Just fucking go okay? Spare me from the pain, I’ve had enough for today, and it’s barely midday! I already have a poor kid died on me only to go home to see my boyfriend fucking his other lover, so please just go” you said as you took a seat on your couch. Your arms were over your eyes, you wanted nothing but to cry… and cry even more.
Seokjin was concerned above all. He was your friend at some point. He knew how hard you took patients’ death, and he clearly was the cherry on top.
He slowly made his way back to fix his mess before them both leave you alone, in your misery and tears.
A month had passed since then. Everything moved so fast when you focused solely on work and nothing else. Jiwoo would call you a horse for working day and night, not letting anything getting in your way. You keep shoving your nose up the job, working like a robot would do, that even Professor Park teased you for being one.
Your days would be fill of helping Professor Park handling the patients. Giving commands to the fellow residents that was below your year. Running from one hall to another. Death was almost become something numbing to you. Almost.
And yet everyday, people around you keep reminding you that you were human first before anything else. You worked hard, wanting to be recognised for your hard work and your hard work only. You forgot to have fun, Jiwoo said.
It’s not easy. To be the daughter of the director of the hospital itself. Everyone think that you are able to get your place because of your connection. Because daddy is paying everyone’s pay-check. And so you worked hard everyday, trying to prove yourself, that you deserving of your place there.
How can people accuse you of such things when your dad was trying so hard to forget about you when it comes down to family…
Jiwoo would stop you everyday from working yourself over the limit. So does Professor Park. They would both stopped you from taking everyone’s shift, from staying at the hospital any longer than you’re supposed to.
But it’s hard to convince you when you’re so set on something.
It was lunch time. Both you and Jiwoo use it to quickly get some lunch before any calls can get to you both. Especially when the cafeteria is serving your favourite curry that day. Jiwoo would secretly convince the chefs there to just make curry everyday so you would leave your work and eat more enthusiastically, but of course she wasn’t able to convince them.
You were enjoying the curry to your heart content. It’s the littlest thing like this that reminds you that you were indeed human above all, as dramatic as it sounds. Jiwoo watched you with amusement.
“I tried so hard to be a good friend, and you still choose curry over me” Jiwoo said in fake annoyance. She playfully stab the potato in anger.
You swallowed your food with a smile on your face, as you looked up at her. “Curry heals my heart Jiwoo, this is not just any curry, this is magical curry” you said In a teasing manner which caused Jiwoo to scoffed.
And then suddenly Jiwoo sat straighter, fixing her posture. Her eyes widening. Seeming more tense than before. You slowed your eating pace in confusion. Your eyes scanning your surrounding, which seemingly collectively has their focus on one point.
You turned your head towards said point. Your eyes squinting, your brain going into even more confusion than before. You even scratch your eyes repeatedly to make sure that your eyes aren’t playing you, and yet the sight still was as shocking as ever.
Your ever, so arrogant, and what the workers would say, intimidating, father was there. In the cafeteria. That you swore he would swear he would never touch, not even the ground. You almost throw your curry at him if it was possible.
There was a man beside him. A handsome and young looking one. He was tall, his brown hair slicked back. He looked as clean as ever. A glasses sitting on top of his nose bridge. He looks smart, brilliant even. Well he must be, seeing him walking side by side with the director of the prestigious hospital. To sum it up, he was the finest man you’ve ever seen to walk in this hospital, he was a sight to see for sore eyes.
But you quickly shook the thought out of your head. You quickly turning back towards your food. As you see from your peripheral view that everyone around you, including Jiwoo stood from their seat to give them a bow before they sat back down. And suddenly the cafeteria was somewhat quieter than before. You hated it.
“What an asshole” you muttered under your breathe. You then felt a kick on your foot. You looked up towards Jiwoo who was still standing, and now her eyes are spatting curses at you.
“What?” You mouthed in annoyance.
“Stand up” Jiwoo mouthed back before she kicked your foot once again. You rolled your eyes and give in to her request.
You turned around. You saw that your father and the man beside him… and whoever walked along with them have their focus on you. You suspected that it was because your father was staring at you, wanting the respect he deemed to be deserving. You sighed and gave them a half hearted bow before you sat back down and continue to eat your food. You felt bad because you didn’t mean to be rude to anyone but your father.
That was until suddenly you felt a tap on your shoulder, that stopped you from eating. The cold but yet so familiar touch on your shoulder. You sighed and turned your head towards the intruder of your meal.
“This is y.n, my daughter, she is a resident here, she worked for Professor Park, your friend right?” Your father said, smile was on his face. But you know so well this was the smile he uses on someone he’s trying to impresses.
“Ah yes, he is my friend… Jimin” The handsome young man said with a smile. His voice was so deep, you swore you could drawn in it.
“Y.n, this is Professor Kim, a neurosurgeon from the States! He’ll be working with us, greet him” Your father said with a smile ever so radiant, you almost puke.
You faked a smile back at him, playing your good daughter card on. Jiwoo looked at the both of you nervously.
“Nice to meet you, I’m y.n, a resident in the general surgery department” you introduced yourself, with a smile more genuine at Professor Kim.
Your father patted your shoulder again. “Right, good, about our dinner later tonight, y.n, I hope you’ll be able to make it” your father said to the both of you. “You have no shift tonight, right y.n?” you father asked.
“No sir, y.n is free for tonight” Jiwoo cut in before you were able to say a word out of your mouth, “I’ll make sure she’ll make it on time” she added.
You mentally slapped your forehead. And god you thought you couldn’t loathe the situation any further.
“Right, thank you Jiwoo” your father said to Jiwoo before he walked away.
You threw your spoon lightly on the table once they’re out of sight. You sighed in full annoyance now. “Why would you do that?!” You whisper-yelled at Jiwoo.
Jiwoo gave you a cheeky smile in return. You really wish you could get angry at her really. “So miss y.l.n here won’t work herself to death, and able to dine in with the most handsome and smartest man ever to walk in this earth” Jiwoo said, her smile was faking innocence.
You gasped, feeling scandalous, feeling like Jiwoo had just seen you naked, seen through you. “Jiwoo!” You gasped.
“What? It’s true! I can swear upon my life you were ogling the professor! Undressing him straight with your eyes!” She said between laughter, as she accused you.
You whined at her. “Oh come on! I was not okay!” You said, threatening to throw your spoon towards her head.
“Oh come on! My girl deserves to have some fun and love too!” Jiwoo teased. And then she suddenly lean in and looked you straight in the eyes. “Especially with the neurosurgeon professor that’s known for being so smart, is popular at the States, handsome, deep voice, and your father trying to impress” she said, her voice was loud enough only to be heard by you.
Your eyes widened, it’s almost like you got possessed and suddenly the picture of the professor being said infiltrated your mind. Him standing there, looking so fine, with his smile and dimples. But before your thought can get any further, a loud voice cut you off from your training thought.
“You guys are seemingly having fun! Without me! I don’t like it!” Jimin said, shocking both you and Jiwoo, before he sat down beside you.
“Professor, y.n here is going to go out on a date!” Jiwoo said before laughter making its way once again to her.
“A date?!” Jimin shrieked. “My god, finally you blessed this desert with some water to survive from! Y.n is going on a date!” He said.
You now physically slapped your forehead. You can see some people gave your table a stare for a second before going back to eat again.
“How can it be a date when, one, I just met him today, and two, the dinner has my father in the variable” you grumbled before you roughly stabbed a potato and fed it into your mouth.
“Wait… does it mean… it’s Namjoon?!” Jimin once again, leaning closer towards you. Your eyes widened once again. Who now?
“Professor Kim! Kim Namjoon!” Jimin said, after seeing the confusion in your face. You shrieked at the name, almost jumped in to cover his mouth. You don’t want another rumour surrounding you. Now you remember that Professor Kim had mentioned Jimin as his friend before.
“Oh my god, y.n, I swear he’s nice! And he’s single… well as far as I know, but I can totally introduce you to him!” Jimin said with so much enthusiasm, people would think he’s the one that’s going to be introduced to someone.
“You know what? I’m done eating lunch, Jiwoo, Jimin, you can chat, but I’m going now” You said in a flustered state, causing Jiwoo to teased you even further.
The clock shows 5pm. Everyone around you is hurrying you to go home, put some makeup on, and clean up. It was mostly Jiwoo who urged you to do so, she even go as the length of promising to drive you there and back. Jimin even told you to clock out as soon as you can. You swore you would rather spent more time in the operating room then go through the dinner. You whined in protest, but what can you do when it’s you versus everyone?
And so there you were, finding yourself rummaging through your wardrobe that you’ve been so long abandoned ever since you start pulling lots of night shift. That you don’t bother to touch ever since you opted to watch Netflix at home is more fun than going out for some fun Friday nights.
You ended up choosing a formal white dress. It fits prettily on you and just right, accentuate your features so nicely. You chose a baby pink Saint Laurent purse to go with it, knowing it looks cute and beside, you haven’t use it in forever. A pair of black rockstud caged pump from Valentino completing your outfit of the night. You applied some light makeup too. You had to admit that it was somewhat a personal satisfactory and pleasure to clean up like this, something that you haven’t done in so long.
As soon as you stepped out of your room into the living room, Jiwoo who was waiting there had her eyes on you, mouth agape. You rubbed your sides instinctually, feeling somewhat self-conscious.
“Does it looks weird? God it’s been so long since I did this, I maybe forgot my touch-“
“Cut the nonsense! You look as stunning as ever!” Jiwoo said as she approached you. You gave her a thankful smile.
“You know how much I hate going to a dinner, god, I’m only doing this for you” you said to her as you both walked towards her car that was parked in the basement.
“Girl, you’re going to thank me once you start getting some” Jiwoo said, a teasing smile on her face.
~~~
A car ride later, you found yourself standing by the entrance of this fancy Italian restaurant. You gulped down, wanting to turn back and secretly catch a cab and go back home. It’s not that you are nervous, you just hate to be in the same room as your father. Let alone eat on the same table.
You just hoped nothing will gone awry. And that means you have to control your emotion, keep it at the bay.
The last time you ate with your father, it was… horrible to say the least. You ended the night with your blood pressure as high as ever, food shattered on the ground, his wife crying and begging for you both to stop, your half-brother is smirking at the situation.
With a reassuring sigh, you braved yourself and enter the restaurant, bracing anything that might come at you,
You gave your name to the waitress, before being escort to the private section of the restaurant. She carefully and delicately open the ebony wood door, revealing the occupants inside. You saw a table for five, there sat your father, his wife, or rather, your stepmother, and your half-brother
Your father sat at the centre of the table. His wife sat on his right, her son sitting beside her. You saw that the seat beside you was still empty. The seat was probably for Professor Kim you figured.. Not long before you enter the room, Professor Kim arrived following suit, seemingly a little bit out of breath.
You tapped on his shoulder, making him look at you. You smiled at him, chuckling inside at his seemingly in-hurry state. “Are you okay?” You asked him softly.
Professor Kim took a big gasp of air before answering you. “Yep, all fine” he said with a smile, his dimples appeared once again, as deep as ever.
You both entered the room. And you saw how your father’s smile lit up once again. You almost rolled your eyes at the situation. If any people see this, they would have thought that this was some ordinary family dinner. Maybe even Professor Kim thought so. But your so called family know that this all business matter.
The waitress took your order as soon as you and Professor Kim sat down. You ordered a truffle cream pasta for yourself, meanwhile he ordered an Aglio Olio for him, both of you opting for some ice tea for the beverage.
Your father cut into the steak that had been served before him as he arrived sooner than both of you. The professor beside you cut the silence by apologising, “I’m sorry, I’m a little bit late, I had a patient that need to be look out for in urgent” he said.
“It’s okay, he wouldn’t mind Professor Kim” you said before your father even said a word. You can feel your father was giving you a glare as in ‘Behave’, but it’s not like you’re going to care about any of his words nor actions.
“Please, just call me Namjoon, I’m more comfortable that way” Namjoon said to everyone in the room. “I am still young after all, just a little bit older than y.n here” he said. You had to admit, it seems like he did his research beforehand, as he knew how old you were. Somewhere deep in the back of your mind, you wondered if Jimin told him some things about you.
“You are a polite kid, a smart one on top of that, and I’ve heard your activity in non-profit organisations Namjoon, you’re just a complete package aren’t your?” Your father’s wife said, a giggle followed after her words. You shook your head in silent.
“Ah… I’m not ma’am” Namjoon said, looking flustered. You can only imagine. The man was looking so red you almost felt bad. But then again, you saw his features, and you realised, the man was deserving of every compliments he got. A handsome man, with good personality? God you were somewhat hoping he’d be single. But you continue to eat your food in silence.
Your family continue to chat with Namjoon even after the table being emptied. You stayed silent, not wanting to say a word, not wanting to cause a fight, too tired of it or to do it. But you can see from under the table that Namjoon’s legs were fidgeting, like he’s trying to say something but don’t know how. And then you faintly heard it, the buzzing from his trousers’ pocket. You realised that this might be a medical call. And so you decided to save him and utter a word.
“I’m sorry father, Namjoon and I have to go back to the hospital right now” you said, standing up, not before nudging Namjoon, signalling for him to do so too.
Your father looked towards Namjoon, his head tilted a little bit. “Is that so? You should go then, your patients are important” your father said.
And it seems like Namjoon had read the situation too. He gave your father a quick nod and bow. “I’ll get going then sir” he said, before you both headed out of the room.
As soon as you’re both out of the room, Namjoon quickly answered his call. You saw him tensed up, which meaning that it is an urgent situation, and he was probably needed as soon as possible. Before even you could even say a word, he walked in fast pace before turning into a light run towards his car, still on call.
You sighed and shook your head. At least the dinner didn’t go as bad as you thought it will.
The next morning, you went to the office just like usual. Your outfit were so casual just like usual, in contrast to what you wore last night. Jiwoo shook her head after hearing the uneventful dinner when she drove you home. And of course as soon as you arrived in the hospital, the first thing Jimin asked you was about your dinner, to which you answered as it is. Jimin huffed in response, just like Jiwoo.
It was one of those time where you get a room to breathe, after finishing a surgery. You were left alone in the office. You turn your head around, relieving the knots on your shoulder. You were sipping the warm coffee that you bought at the cafe downstairs when someone knock on your office before opening it. The door revealing a man that oh so familiar.
“Hey, what’s up?” You greeted with a smile that looks rather tired.
Upon seeing you, Namjoon proceed to enter the room, a relief smile on his face. “You were here!” He said, taking a seat next to you.
You chuckled at his words. “You weren’t here to see me” you said.
Namjoon lowered his head and chuckle along with you, being caught in action. “Well, I was searching for Jimin but he wasn’t here, and I found you instead” he shrugged.
“Hey! Seeing me is also a good thing okay!” You complained playfully. You made a fist and hit his side arm in a playful manner.
Namjoon pretended like you had hit him with the strength of a fighter which caused you to whine. “Come on! I didn’t hit you that hard!” You said.
“You bruised my ego!” He retaliated, which caused both of you to laugh. “Did you just finish a surgery?” He asked.
You nodded at him, a pout made its way onto your lips without you even noticing, a habit you didn’t notice you had. “I am” you said.
Namjoon stares at you, his eyes were unreadable, but honest to god, you were rather scared of trying to find out on what was his eyes were saying, and so you ignore it.
“Poor y.n, must be tiring right?” He said, in a tone that seemingly babying you. He suddenly put his hands on your shoulders and lightly massage them. You froze for a second upon feeling his palm on your shoulder, before you relax into his hold.
“What will poor father says if he saw his favourite neurosurgeon is giving a massage to a mere resident…” you said, your voice shaky from the massage.
Namjoon laughed at your words. “Oh come on! You are not just a mere resident” he said.
You gave him a smirk and rolled your eyes. “Yeah, a resident who happened to be the director of the hospital’s daughter” you added in.
Namjoon tensed, you can feel it on his hold, before he let go of you. Truth be told, you were rather disappointed that he let go, somewhere deep in the back of your mind, you were missing his warmth now that it feels somewhat cold without his touch.
“That’s not what I-“
“Namjoon? I’m just joking” you quick to assured with a smile.
Suddenly Namjoon turn his whole body at you, looking you dead serious right in your eyes, making you nervous in some way. “I mean it y.n, you are talented, Jimin told me a lot of good things about you, and I know you are a hard worker, and I’m not saying this because you are my boss’ daughter” he explained. “It’s because you care about the patients dearly, and you are a hard worker” he added.
You swore to god you teared up right there right then. For the first time in your medical career, it’s the first time anyone, beside Jimin or Jiwoo, praising you. Not because they want something from you, but they acknowledge you for who you are. You quickly shook the tears off, not wanting to be emotional. “Oh come on! This is unfair, you made me cry” you said jokingly.
“Your father must be proud of you” Namjoon said, unknowingly.
You chuckled bitterly. “I don’t expect much from him” you mutter under your breathe, hoping he wouldn’t caught it. You quickly stood from your seat, giving him a reassuring smile. “Gotta go though, Jimin is having a conference soon” you said.
Namjoon gave you a smile before he stood up too. He suddenly grabbed your hand, making you look back at him, stopping you dead on your track.
“Thank you for last night, you saved my patient”
It was another day. Just another uneventful day. Or so you thought. The yawn that you held for so long can’t help but came out of your mouth. Along with it, a drop of tear trickle down your cheek. Your eyes trained on the computer monitor before you. Your head heavy with thoughts.
The door to the office suddenly opened, making you looked up from the computer. In your head, you were groaning at the stiffness your body was experiencing. “Can I help you?” You asked to the visitor.
A familiar person walked into the room, creating a beam on your face, from ear to ear. Well to be exact, it’s more of what they brought.
“Jimin! My life saviour!” You squealed as you jumped from your seat. Jimin gave you a playful smile in return, while humming to a cheery tune. You immediately dragged your armchair onto the table that was set in the middle of the office, meant for meeting, and well, meals. Jimin took a seat at the centre of the table, while you took one beside him.
“God, it’s chinese?! You really know how to impress a woman don’t you?” You said as you grab a chopsticks and set your food in front of you, knowing that Jimin already know what your order was.
“Well, aren’t you my hardworking resident? Who unfortunately still pull an all-nighter and-“
“Stop with that! Won’t you?” You complained playfully to him. “I really restrain myself from taking night shift you know that!” You added.
“I know, but look at you, I can bet you haven’t gone home since last night” he said before he took a bite of his food.
You froze on your seat. The sense of time really had went out of your head. In your head, your hair is probably the big sign of it, looking like a whole bird nest. Your supposedly tidy pony tail, now so many strands had gone loose. “God, I didn’t know that” you sighed.
Jimin gave you a glare in responded, as in saying “How could you not know?”. His phone suddenly dinged, and so he took it from his pocket, looking at the notification. “Y.n, you don’t mind another company, do you?” Jimin suddenly asked.
You were having a bite of your food, so you really didn’t pay attention to his words. You wordlessly nodded at him, to engrossed on your food.
The door to the office once again opened. And yet you paid no attention, your hunger took over you. In your mind, you think that it’s probably Jiwoo, or well another surgeon. Another surgeon other than Jimin having a meal with you both wasn’t a new thing anyway.
“I’m sorry, I had an unscheduled appointment” A familiar deep honey-laced voice said. You stopped chewing, your eyes widened. You sat a little bit straighter, but not brave enough to look up.
“It’s okay, you’re not late, I just have a bite of my food” Jimin said. You can see from your peripheral view that Jimin was staring at you with a teasing glare, his mouth formed a smirk. “But y.n here… she seemingly hasn’t eat since yesterday” Jimin huffed playfully.
Namjoon chuckled before he took a seat beside you. You gulped down your food, before staring at Jimin with a warning glare. “I’m so sorry you had to see me like this” you said to Namjoon who was arranging his food.
“Y.n, you’re talking like as if I don’t see you at that Italian restaurant, gulping down the food like as if you want to escape so badly” He said before he had a bite.
“Well, in a way, I kinda do actually, but don’t get me wrong, it was not because of you, like at all” You said after gulping down another bite of your food, After talking, you grabbed a bite once again. Maybe you were too focused on your food, or too focus trying to ignore the nervousness in your heart, but when Namjoon stopped to stare at you, with a fond smile on his face, you surely didn’t notice.
He almost chuckled, seeing you eat like there’s no tomorrow, like as if you stopped, someone would steal your food away from you. He looked at you with so much amusement and fondness. Your hair was everywhere, and he was a little bit worried it might bet into your mouth. He carefully reach his hand out towards you. His fingers gently reached for the loose strands that disturbing your eating and might be a little bit itchy on your face. He carefully tuck them behind your ears.
His fingertips touching your ears got you shivering down your spine. You froze on your eating, but seems like Namjoon didn’t notice that, too enticed by you. You weren’t brave enough to turn your head around. No, you weren’t. You don’t know what you should be expecting.
“Your hair was in the way” Namjoon said, his voice was gentle, almost inaudible, but loud enough for you to hear.
“T-thank you” you stuttered. In that moment, you braved yourself enough to turn your head at him. But what you saw, god you could swear your heart wasn’t prepare for it. Namjoon was smiling at you, his smile was just… something that you were more than sure was a gift from God. His dimples were evident. And truth to god, your heart was beating so fast you were sure the whole room can hear it.
Namjoon chuckled before he turn to his food once again, eating it. And everything went back to normal. By normal here you meant, Jimin and Namjoon were chatting about what they’re both missing when they were away. You silently listening in. And yet your heart was still beating loud, your head still full of the thought of him. If Jimin noticed, you were glad he said nothing.
And at one point, it seems like your name was mentioned, which was caught your attention back to the room. “I’m sorry?” You said.
“I just told Namjoon how you haven’t gone back home, and I think that you should go home now, and Namjoon will drive you home” Jimin said nonchalantly.
“Oh come on, you act like this is my first time doing this, I’ll be fine staying in the hospital a couple more hours, and beside I’m still reviewing-“
“A doctor also need lots of rest, y.n” Namjoon cut in.
“But-“
“No buts, pack your bag, you’re going home” Jimin said as he stood up. He immediately went to clean up the table, insisting on you to prepare to go home instead, which earned him a scowl from you.
The car ride to home was fill with you both getting to know each other. How you both grew up. Though you still hide so many, you just told him the enough amount of it, well maybe to the part of your father and you don’t have a really good relationship, but that was all. Namjoon told you how he grew up, how he ended up going to the States before deciding to go back here. You had a feeling that he too was hiding something, but maybe, only time will be able to tell.
“I’m so sorry for troubling you” you said when you’ve finally arrived. a frown on your face, as you felt bad for doing this to him.
“It’s okay, I don’t live far from you anyway, I’m just a building away” he said, with a smile on his face, that you grew to fond of now.
“Thank you for the ride, Namjoon” you thanked him, a smile made its way onto your face.
“I enjoy this, let’s do it another time, y.n”
And somehow it becomes an everyday thing for you and Namjoon to go home together. Some days it’d be you driving, and some with him driving. People would have caught the sudden closeness you gain. Maybe some questioning it, but if they do, nothing has been caught by your ears so far.
It’s rather beneficial really for the both of you. Sometimes Namjoon would come over, and you both would put Netflix on and binge watch some documentaries there. Or sometimes, when things just went awful, or when you have something to celebrate, you both would go out for a drink, get drunk, and call a designated driver. Some days, you both would go on a dinner, when work got too hectic and left you both barely room for breathe. Or sometimes, you both would go to watch a movie that you both have been waiting for its release.
It was one of those days. Where things are just… hard. Nothing is going in your way. You got yelled by a doctor, and even Jimin expressed his disappointment. Jimin was someone who barely disappointed with you, knowing you more than anyone else here. And when Jimin got disappointed, it means you really did something messed up.
Not only that, a patient’s condition was worsened, her kidney was failing on her, and she was just a teenager. And so far, there wasn’t any available donor.
You were walking through the hall when a conversation caught your attention. You can’t help but listening into their conversation. Well, how can you resist when said conversation involving your name being mentioned. It supposedly come as no surprise that people would gossiping about you, and yet, despite knowing better, continue to listen what on they have to say.
“I just don’t get what Professor Kim saw in her, like she’s just a spoiled brat!” A nurse said.
“Are they even dating?”
“No way, I bet they are close because well her father or maybe her want favour”
“I bet she actually likes him, but he’s just being too nice”
And that’s it. You had enough. You shook your head in disbelief. Even after years, and your obvious showing of your dislike towards your father, everyone still think you are daddy’s little girl. All things accumulated inside you. You felt so stuffed inside. You had enough. You quickly approached the familiar office, knowing he would be there. You knocked on his door, just in case he has someone inside.
“Come in” Namjoon said from behind the door,
You carefully opened the door. You saw the sight of a woman, seemingly around you or Namjoon’s age. You were more than sure she was the most beautiful woman that you’ve ever seen in your life. Her red lipstick matching her skin tone, like as if it was made specifically for her. The pencil skirt she wore cladding on her skin so perfectly, accentuating her figure. Her aura was almost overwhelming.
“Ah… You have a patient? I’ll come back later than” you said in apologetic tone.
She was staring at you, a smirk on her face. “Oh? Namjoon really didn’t tell anyone about who am I, did he?” She said, her voice was taunting.
You said nothing, being put in an awkward situation. “I’m sorry, I’ll go out” you excused before you close the door again.
But you did not miss it.
You did not miss the last sentence she said, right before you close the door.
“Namjoon, I love you still”
~~~
God and here you thought your day couldn’t get any worse. You really now felt like you were drowning in an ocean of negativity. You don’t know why, and you don’t want to know, but you felt a pang in your heart. You felt your throat constricting. You felt something that you haven’t felt in so long it almost scared you.
You just wanted to be home as soon as possible. Maybe get some drink, and hoping Namjoon would listen to your worries, like he always did. You strut your way back to your office, not caring about your expression anymore, too tired to control it. You can feel the tears of frustration brimming in your eyes, they burn. But still you paid no mind to it.
Especially when a text came.
From [Namjoon]: Sorry, cant go home now, I’ll see you tomorrow
And tomorrow came. If you thought it was any better, well it wasn’t. Not when your father’s secretary suddenly knocked at your door when you were preparing for breakfast. Sunghyun, your father’s secretary, was a rather nice man, and he acted as the messenger between your father and you. Sometimes you felt bad for it.
“What now, Sunghyun?” You sighed, as you see him by your door. “Come in, I made some pancakes” you said while opening your door a little bit wider for him to come.
“No need to, I’ll be quick, your father wants you to be at the Min Corporation gala. It’s well… for fundraising, but your father can’t attend it, and your brother is overseas” he said.
You sighed. If you hate your father, well you hate the galas more than anything. The free food and champagne is an advantage, but the mingling and fake smile for hours was not your cup of tea.
“You know the answer, it’s a no from me” you said before you rolled your eyes.
“And you know the answer from your father, he doesn’t take no, I’ll be going then” Sunghyun said. “And oh! Don’t forget to bring a date, I think your father wants someone in particular and you know who” he added, before he really left you standing by the door
You really don’t know how to break it to Namjoon that your father wants him to go for a gala, and with you on top of that. You can tell him that it’s a work order, but maybe somewhere deep down inside you, you want it to be something more. Beside, you don’t want him to feel obligated to attend.
But you were rather surprised, and rather pleasantly when he easily accepted it. Now, he become your only reason to feel excited about the damn gala. You can already picture the look you were going for tonight.
And with that in thought, you went to the gala with heart giddy. He promised to meet with you at the venue as he had an appointment right before it. You can’t help but let your mind wander on how he would look with a tux on. Your heart beats faster at the thought.
You stepped off your car, and everyone’s eyes are instantly at you. Your hair was set onto a bridal up-do, your off-shoulder emerald gown looking so glamour under the lights, making you look like you stepped out of fairytales, your Saint Laurent pumps accentuating your legs, and your Gucci purse completing the look.
But as minutes pass by from the assigned time, you grew anxious. You tapped on your feet. You were standing at the corner of the room, anxiously waiting for Namjoon. Your eyes keep searching for his figure, wanting nothing but to be with him. And it doesn’t help when you spot your ex, and by god you regret that, cause he caught your stare and was walking towards your way.
A vibrate on your phone making you looked down towards it. A text appeared in the notification bubble.
From [Namjoon]: I’m sorry, I think I’ll be late, Idk if I can make it, but I’ll try, I’m so sorry
You sighed. Disappointment filling your being. You now wasn’t in the mood for anything at all. You wanted nothing but to go home now, and maybe just watch another documentary like you always do.
“Lonely tonight, are we?” Seokjin, who was now standing beside you, asked.
“Shut up, get away from me” you said.
“Why are you not mingling? Are you craving for a beating from your dad?”
“I told you to shut up, didn’t I?”
Seokjin chuckled at you. “It’s a pity, you could have just joined me, and if we were still together, you might be having a good time instead of a really suck time” he said, his eyes were mocking you.
“Who said I was alone? My date is a busy doctor, someone who actually works, not just riding on daddy’s fame” you said, your tone was full of malice.
But Seokjin just smirked. He was rather entertained by your action and behaviour. He suddenly leaned in, and whispered to you. “Or maybe, Namjoon is just busy with a certain woman” he whispered. His voice indicating that he indeed knows something.
You shook your head in disbelief. You were angry. Angry at everything. Angry that you let your ex who cheated on you to get to you. Angry that you were losing your composure. Angry that Namjoon lied to you. And that was your breaking point. You didn’t care anymore. You immediately pushed Seokjin away from you harshly.
“Fuck off, Seokjin” you said before you exited the ballroom, back towards your car.
You were just sad. Sad that just why Namjoon would lie to you, why can’t he just say it to your face that he doesn’t want to go with you.
Your face was as emotionless as ever when you come to work the next day. You were more than ready to accept your father’s wrath. And truth be told, you just want to get it over and done with. You can’t wait to go over it, cry a little bit, and maybe then the tension inside you that’s been building will go away.
And by god, you don’t want to face Namjoon today. You avoided him all day, not at all making your way towards his hallway. If Jimin and Jiwoo noticed, they didn’t said anything. But they were rather worried. Because you haven’t said a single word to them. You weren’t letting anyone come close to you. You kept silently doing your job and anything Jimin tells you to.
And then it comes. It was rather funny really your encounter. You were walking towards your office when Sunghyun was walking to your office too.
“Ah, y.n, I was looking for you” Sunghyun said.
You sighed. “Father wants to see me?” You asked.
Sunghyun nodded in pity, as he felt bad for you. You sighed, accepting your fate, knowing you can’t deny it. You rather face him in the office rather than letting him step onto the comfort of your own home. And so with heavy steps, you walked towards your father’s office, embracing the fact that a fiery wrath is waiting for you.
And just like what you were expecting, when you entered the room, your father was there. He was sitting behind his desk. You lowered your head, waiting for the storm to come.
He was looking at you, from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. His stare was icy cold, something that supposedly you were used at. But not when you can’t help it. Not when you are afraid, knowing very well on what’s about to come. For something that had happened ever since your childhood days. And you can only gaze at the golf club by his desk in fear.
He stood up from his seat. He wasn’t that tall, but you feel small beneath his overpowering gaze. And you feel like you were the 8 years old girl all over again, who was cowering in fear, as her toy accidentally knocked over a fine china. And there he stood, in front of you, just like the old times. You can feel the panic attack start coming over to you.
And then, just like the lightning strike, his hand came fast and hard and land onto your cheek. Your palm immediately went to the burning cheek, grasping it in pain, for sure it would turn red. And then he kicked your shin, making you buckle onto the ground, feeling smaller than you were already.
And he reached for the golf club. At this point, your tears can’t be contained any longer. It fell down onto your cheek. Sobs came out of your mouth, asking for him to stop, but he, just like always, let your words be muffled by his own anger. And just like how his hand, the golf club too now was hitting at your figure, hard, so hard the pain caused you to cry even more. And yet he has no mercy. Not until his anger dissipated.
“How. Dare. You. Ashamed. Me. In. Front. Of. Senator Kim’s. Son. And. Leave. The. Gala?!” He said, with so much anger in his voice, every words for every hit. No doubt purple bruises are now painting your body
“I’m sorry, please stop, please” you sob and pleaded.
And it feels like god answered your prayer, because he stopped. He let out a sigh like as if the tension had left him, and now you were left with so much trauma, so much memories of your childhood came back into you, as you continue to cry more into the floor.
“You really won’t get my words won’t you?” he said with so much anger despite the calm tone.
“Now get out” he said coldly, before he strut back towards his chair.
You quickly get up from the floor. Your steps were shaky as you reached for the door. But as soon as you were out of the room, you run towards your office. You can feel your chest tightening, your throat constricting, as your eyes continue to pour more tears from it.
You immediately went into the comfort of your office, closing the door rather harshly. You lean onto the door and let out gasps of breathe, not really aware of your surrounding. You grasp on your chest, trying to gather some air to breathe on.
When suddenly you felt a figure coming right onto you. Your eyes were wide open. You recognised Namjoon, looking at you, with so much concern and worry in his eyes. You let yourself breakdown, as more sobs coming out of you. Namjoon took a hold of your body as you fell onto the floor.
“You’re okay here, you’re safe” Namjoon said, trying to comfort you. He saw how you look very much disturbed. He saw the angry red print on your cheek. He saw the purple bruises that now is visible as it’s forming on your collarbone and forearm that were revealed. He may have an idea on who might had done this.
“It’s okay, you’re safe here y.n…” he comforted even more, letting you calm down in his hug.
Minutes passed by, and you were much calmer now. And Namjoon not even a second letting go of you, and for that you were so thankful for. He held you in his arms, that now felt so secure and safe for you. It felt like with him here, you have nothing to be afraid of, that he will chase everything off.
“Thank you” you muttered. You nuzzle your cheek into his chest, not wanting to let go of him.
“I need to check your bruises” He said.
“It’ll be fine”
“No, you’re not, talk to me” Namjoon said, his voice stern. He can’t help but feel anger building inside him, a fuming anger, towards whoever did this to you.
And you noticed that. The deep frown in his face says it all. His eyes can’t hide the unadulterated rage behind it.
“Namjoon, I’m okay, I’m fine” you said, reassuring him. Namjoon’s eyes look back at yours. You stare right onto his, wanting to assure him that all is fine now.
“You’re not y.n, you were crying, you were hurt, I swear to god whoever did this-“
You grabbed a hold of his face, you cradle his face onto your palms. “I’m okay hey, I’m here” you said, assuring him. “I’m just glad you are here with me” you said giving him a small smile, despite the lingering fear still left behind in you.
“Is it your father?” He whispered, his voice was so careful, as if he was afraid you would break.
You looked down and nodded. “But it’s okay, I’m used to it okay” you said.
And god, that was even more horror to him. No one should be used to such abusive treatment. “God y.n, that- that doesn’t make it any better” he said, his voice was so quiet, and yet you know he was having so many emotions going on inside his heart.
“I’m going to confront him about this, I’m going to beat him-“
His words were cut off. Of course it was. Maybe it was the spur of the moment, maybe it was something that you’ve been wanting to do for so long and now it finally reaching its tipping point. Maybe it was because he wouldn’t stop worrying, but you did it. You put your lips onto his, cutting him off of his word.
Namjoon was surprised. His eyes were widened, when he realised you were kissing him. Your eyes were close tightly. He held you tighter in his arms, as he reciprocate this kiss.
You both let go for oxygen need. A smile on both of your face. You felt rather shy now, and a little bit afraid. “I’m sorry” you apologised. Your eyes were still trained on your thighs, avoiding his.
Namjoon looked down at you who was till in his arms. He smiled softly, the familiar fondness come back into him as he saw your shy demeanour. A flower bloomed in his heart. “For what?” He asked, a teasing smile was now on his face.
“You know what” you muttered.
“I appreciate the apologise” he said, making you looked up at him. “But I love it, so I’m going to do it again” he said before he kissed you once again. You can’t help but smile into the kiss. Happiness and love replacing the feeling in your heart.
But then, the woman popped up into your mind, making you let go.
“W-wait” you said before you let go. “But I don’t want to be in the middle of unfinished business” you said. “Or well that’s what Seokjin hinted…” you muttered.
It seems like Namjoon caught on what you meant. And he gave you a smile… and for some reason you were scared to find out the meaning behind it. “We have nothing going on, for so long now” he said.
You tilted your head at him in confusion, needing more explanation.
“She’s my ex, we almost got engaged, and then I found out, so I break it off, and then she tried to come to me again” he explained.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a rebound” you said, your voice stern.
Namjoon pet your hair, his smile once again appeared. “Yes, I am, I wouldn’t kiss you if it was otherwise, and I chose this over any possibilities” he said,
“And… I’m sorry for not… appearing last night, I had a patient, code blue” he apologised, his voice was so sincere.
You pouted at the memory of last night, not wanting to remember it any longer. “It sucked so bad, I dressed up so well, and for nothing” you huffed. “But if you give me more kisses, maybe I’ll think about forgiving you” you said, as you pretend to think about it very seriously.
Namjoon grabbed a hold of your hand before he gave you a peck on your lips. “I’ll up your request to something better” another peck “What if I take you out on a date?” And another peck.
You beamed at him, giving him even more pecks all over his face. “Okay, tonight then, and I want to go to that new ice cream parlour” you said before you got up and went out of your office, going back to work
The alarm on your phone rang so loud, it able to woke you up from your sweet dream. You groggily reached for your phone and turn it off. Peaceful silence once away fill your bedroom. You then went back to nuzzle into the embrace of your boyfriend. One of his arm was circling around your waist, hugging you tight to him. He softly groaned from beside you, being the victim of your loud alarm as well.
“Good morning” you greeted, a small smile on your face. “As much as I’d rather be cuddling, we have to go to work” you said.
“Why don’t we just skip work, and have the day all to ourselves?” He suggested playfully. You hit his chest as a scolding.
“Come on, get up Professor, we need to work and tend our patients” you said as you attempted to get up.
But Namjoon had other things in mind. He pulled you back into him, trapping you between his arms, as his upper body hovering over you. He pulled you into a kiss, that you were more than happpy to reciprocate. “We will, but for now, I will have my girlfriend all to myself first” he muttered between kisses.
You smiled into the kiss. His silly words bring a smile onto your morning that usually fill with frown. “You’re lucky I love you” you said, which he hummed in respond as an agreement.
You were both all tangled up in bed, hands on each other, not wanting to leave each other behind. Jimin and Jiwoo would call you both clingy. How could you not when you both worked at the same hospital, sometimes you sleep at his and sometimes him at yours. And yet, you still both longed for each other when you’re away from each other.
But really, there’s no place you’d rather be than in his arms, and him in yours.
a/n: AAA IM BACK, THIS ONE TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE DSJKHF i’m watching Hospital Playlist nowadays, so this was inspired by the drama hehe, I hope u guys like it ;-;;; tbh when i made this, i have the look namjoon delivered during MOTS 7 press conference aksjh. Also to anon, I know this takes so long but I’m currently writing your request! Also everyone! Pls stay at home and keep your hygiene!
summary: white chrysanthemum represents truth and loyal love. After much heartbreaks and lies, maybe he was just what you need all along
genre: angst, fluff
warning: LOTS OF CURSES, divorce, bad writings, unedited (Sorry), bad english and lots of grammatical mistakes whoopsie
jeon jungkook x f!reader
The digital clock on the computer screen showed Jungkook that it was indeed ten minutes to twelve in the night. He can’t help but let out a loud yawn and scratched his eyes. The dryness of them makes him want to just dunk them in a bucket of water.
Deciding that it was late, Jungkook saved the document he was working on before he turned off the computer. He packed his back and made his way to the lift.
There was no one in the office, well, at his floor at least. It was late, and it was Friday night. No one want to pull an overtime at Friday night. And Jungkook had to be in the unfortunate end of the spectrum.
He thought the lift would make no stop. He was tired, and he didn’t pay attention that instead of going down, the lift went up instead. So he leaned on the mirror wall, his blazer in his arm, sleeves rolled up, two of the first buttons were opened. So when the lift made a surprising stop, he immediately stood straighter. The floors above him was reserved for the lobbyists, the directors of the company, and the CEO.
You were waiting for the lift with your heads down. Fatigue coming over you. You felt nothing but exhaustion throughout your body. And when the lift dings, you just weakly lift your head, posture held straighter to walk into the lift.
As the lift door opened, Jungkook’s presence greeted you. Your eyes widened for a second before it relaxed again, you were hoping that he didn’t noticed. You nod at him as a greeting, which he reciprocated, before you walked in.
The atmosphere was awkward, but you couldn’t care less. The dull ache in your head from lack of sleep is the only thing that you could think about, or at least what distracted you. But to Jungkook, nothing but uneasiness fill him. He could cut the tension with a knife.
When you both reached the lobby, you gave him a small smile into the reflection in the mirror, as you both made eye contact, before you left without a word.
Jungkook sighed when you were out of sight. So many thoughts filling his head. Would it be like this if only he doesn’t give up four months ago? But you pushed him away.
It all started when...
It was a rainy day. It was raining for the whole day really. You can only sigh as you watch the droplets running through the window of your home.
Not only was it raining, but Taehyung said he would be late. It has been a shitty day really. You wish you could just go into his embrace and cuddle the unsettling feeling in your heart.
It was 10am. You were more than sure Taehyung wouldn’t want to eat if he got home later than it already is. You can relate as your job took a toll on you too.
You sighed heavily. It’s been like this nowadays. You went home earlier than you usually would, expecting and hoping that he would too be home at the time he supposed to, and you both can cuddle and have a movie night.
But to your disappointment, it’s also every nights he has his excuses why he had to be late. But you knew, being the CEO of a company is no easy game, him pulling an overtime should come as no surprises.
But you can’t help but feel a pang in your heart. You both used to be so close. God, he was your best friend, in a world full of betrayals, he’s the only human you could confide in, the only one you trust with your whole being.
And so you did. You married him.
You loved each other more than anything. Taehyung was always there for you, since your university days. Where you both would pull an all-nighter together. Whenever you were stressed over exams and papers, he’d be there for you, always, with open arms, and bunch of snacks to pamper you. And the same goes with him. Whenever he was stressing over his assignments, or how he was stressing over his mistake on the finance exam he had that one day, you were there for him, ready to take him into your arms.
But nowadays, it feels like you both were worlds apart. You drifted away slowly. It was slow, and yet the distance feels so great to you. You barely see him and by God you were both married, he was your husband, and yet it’s frustrating to you that his employees probably see him more than you.
At first he has thousands of excuses. How his works were very overwhelming and he had to get it done, how his colleagues held him for a dinner, and all that, he even sounds apologetic at first.
But now, all he say as he walk into the warmth of of your home, is just “sorry”, and he doesn’t even sound like he means it.
But still you waited. You want to confront him for once now. You’ve had enough. God you are also working, you see it beforehand how busy a CEO could be, but he works like as if he’s a one-man company. And you’ve had enough of that.
As soon as the door opened, you stood up from the couch you sat on. You came face to face by him. He gave you a look, before he looked away, stepping off his shoes. A certain distinct smell came from him and yet you can’t pinpoint what was it.
“You’re late again” you said, voice curt.
“Well I’m sorry that my job as the highest rank employee in the company took its time” he said, sass dripping from his tone.
You softly grabbed his shoulders, trying to make him look at you. But seems like your hold was a little bit harsher than you intended to, and his shirt got yanked a bit from the force.
And that’s when you saw it. And the distinct smell came from him is now making sense.
He smelled like sex.
And he has a hickey on his neck almost towards his chest.
Your eyes widened. Your throat constricted. Your bile rising. You feel like you’re choking on air.
The soft subtle scent of women’s perfume was now apparent to your now sensitive smelling sense.
“Taehyung...” your voice shaky, as tears burning its way towards your eyes. You can’t help but keep staring at the hickey on him. God knows what he hides under his shirt.
And it seems like Taehyung had caught on too. He suddenly grab a hold of your hands. He shook his head, his eyes widened.
“Y.n... it’s not what you thought-“
“Well than tell me! Give me your thousand excuses!” you shouted, tears now shamelessly fell.
But silence greeted you.
You let out a bitter chuckle. “Of course you can’t, you’ve been cheating on me, Kim Taehyung” you said darkly.
You turned away from him, heads down. You grab a hold of your chest as its being abused by the pain in your heart. You grab it like your life depended on it, like as if you could make yourself feel better.
You sat down on the couch as you feel like your legs might give up on you. Taehyung warily sat down too, far away from you.
“I’ve been waiting everyday Taehyung” you started. “I’m waiting, worrying, whether if you’ve eaten or not, if you’re safe or not, I was worried” you said. “I trusted you with all my being, I trust you with my heart, and that’s why I never questioned you” you added. You can’t even continue your words as sobs making its way.
Taehyung can’t help but feel guilty, he was basically drowning in it. He promised that you can trust him, how he would never broke your heart, god, he was the one that beat your ex for cheating on you. And oh god how the table had turned. He now became the evil he never wanted to be. He broke your heart, you, his wife, and his best friend.
“Y.n...” he reached out weakly.
“No, it’s okay, I understand, I’m not enough for you... And I understand that, what just makes me so... betrayed, is how you seemingly would never tell me unless I find out” you said.
Taehyung reached out to you. His hand trying to grab a hold of yours. But you flinched and moved further. But at least you looked at him now and that was enough for him.
“Don’t say that... you are enough, you are a woman anyone would want y.n” he said, sincerity filled his voice.
You scoffed. Finding how ironic his words were.
“It’s just me... I found a love that I don’t deserve, but I accepted it anyway, I was a fool thinking that I’d finally able to love again after accepting your love” Taehyung said. “Which I did, I was able to love again, but then... she came back y.n... and I‘m weak, I realised I never moved on...” he continued.
Just when you thought you couldn’t have your heart even more broken, you did. It’s the fact that you are indeed the second choice again. The home he ran away to for a momentary escape before he come back and make up.
“Jina...” you muttered.
Taehyung flinched at the name. He felt guilty for breaking you but not for loving her, and that makes him feel sadistic.
You lean back into the couch. Hopes drained from your whole very being. Taehyung could practically see how it feels like you were becoming the shell of a woman who you were.
Jina was always the choice indeed. You should’ve known. Jina was Taehyung’s first love, and still is apparently. She moved to the other half of the world when Taehyung about to confessed. What hurt Taehyung was Jina leaving without saying anything. And so you were there for Taehyung, mend his broken heart, reconstructed him, comfort him, with everything you can.
And one day, you confessed your feelings to him. With lots of fear of rejection, but most importantly ruined friendship. You would sacrifice yourself for him to be happy, God, you would.
But to your surprises, he reciprocated it, saying that the feeling was mutual.
But clearly, you were just a harbour and he was the ship that docked to you for some time before going away once again.
“I lose again” you said with a bitter smile.
Taehyung finally looked up towards you again. He wants to deny that you are not losing, he was the loser in this cruel game. But there was no way for him to convince you, not when he was the reason.
You were becoming the girl who got cheated on during university because you were the second choice once again. And Taehyung hated how he become the very man he despises for breaking your heart.
“It’s okay Taehyung, I can’t blame your nor your feelings...” you said. Taehyung can predicted what will come out of your mouth next, but before he can stop it, you had said it. “I’m blaming myself for not being enough, and maybe, I’m just... lacking a lot” you said in defeat.
You stood up from your couch. You gave him a last glance. “Goodbye, Taehyung” you said before you walked away from him, heading upstairs, towards your supposedly shared-bedroom.
Taehyung never felt this fear. This much fear. The goodbye, it feels like it’s really the last farewell. You want nothing to do with him anymore. He can’t deny that he indeed deserves that. But you were also his best friend. And how he had lost you.
He stood up from the couch. He knocked on the bedroom door, trying to caught your attention.
“I’ll bring the document to you, or have it sent to your secretary, I’ll pack my things too tomorrow, I love you” he said. He did. He really did love you. Just maybe in platonic way.
Now this penthouse never felt so empty, you thought as you heard him leave. And the big portrait of the day of your wedding feels like mocking you.
You went to work the next day. Acting like everything is fine. Not like anyone care. No one care about their colleague’s personal affair in this corporation. So you put on the straightest face you have and walk into the tall big tower.
But your change of attitude was noticed by your secretary. Jungkook was your secretary at the time. But also your friend. You would put him second after Taehyung in the list of people you trust.
As soon as he saw you walking through the lift towards your office, passing by his station, he noticed something was wrong. The demeanour, the aura you exudes. Your presence usually called for respect, a femme fatale, a strong aura that would make anyone that goes in your way cowers. That’s why the company trust you to do lobbying he figures.
But Jungkook was a friend. Well your best friend now that Taehyung went out of the list. He works with you basically 24/7. He’s the only one that brave enough to banter with you and befriending you. He was the only person that makes you feel like a human in this demon’s hell hole of a company.
He immediately followed you to your office. He was about to confront you until he finally able to get a full glance of your face when you sat down on your armchair. He finally knows what was different. You seem defeated. No, he was sure you were defeated. But by what? Or more importantly, by who?
“Do you want me to read your schedule?” He asked carefully.
You looked at him. You said nothing but nodded. “Entertain me, Kook” you said.
Jungkook cleared his throat. “Well thankfully, you only have two meetings, one with the representative from the Cheon Enterprise, and one with Mr. Kim from the ministry who I believe has a deal for the company?” He asked.
You raised an eyebrow. “Mr. Kim?” You asked, can’t help but get sensitive. You can only hope Jungkook didn’t notice.
“Kim Namjoon” Jungkook said.
You immediately sighed in relief. Jungkook chuckled. He thought that maybe you had a stupid argument with your husband, just like usual. “Another chicken fight huh?” He joked.
But his joke was greeted with silence. You feel like tearing up all over again. And Jungkook noticed, now he felt bad for it. Maybe it was a real bad one he thought.
“I-I’m sorry” he apologised before proceeding to walk out from your office.
But before he could, your words next made him stopped in his track. “We are filing for a divorce” you said.
Jungkook turn around. And when he did, your eyes look at him, tears brimming. You were a human with full capabilities to feel after all. As much as you wanted to be those women in movies that seem so heroic, you can’t.
Jungkook hurried back to you, he grabbed a chair that was placed in front of you towards your side before he sat on it.
He grab your hand, trying to say that he’s here, and you can confide in him.
You let the tears fall. “He fell in love again... just not with me” you said.
To say that Jungkook was beyond shocked was an understatement. He froze on his seat. But he immediately went closer to you, want nothing but to gives you the comfort you deserve. He knew just how much Taehyung meant to you. He knew that no matter how hectic work could be, no matter how much you love your job, Taehyung would always come first, and you were a woman who fell in love with her job.
Jungkook immediately pulled you into a hug, giving you the warmth that you might needed, which indeed you did. You cried into his shoulders, letting the emotion that you’ve been holding flows. You convinced yourself to not cry yourself to sleep for a man whose heart belong to another. But now that you are letting it burst, you can’t help but think that Taehyung was more than just an ordinary man.
It took you some time but you finally calm down. Jungkook never once stopping from caressing your back gently. You hugged him even tighter, scared that his warmth will be gone if you pulled away. To your distaste however, he pulled out first. Your eyes immediately search for his.
“Wait here, I’m going to make you some tea” he said as he got up from his seat.
You were left alone with your thoughts and honestly, at this point, your mind was too crowded. You can’t help but feel numb. The long forgotten trust issue coming back to you. You promised yourself that you’d never love again. Your eyes staring into nothing.
You didn’t know how long, but your train of thoughts finally break when the door to your office was opened, revealing Jungkook with a cup of tea in his hand.
The smell of jasmine tea was filling your smelling sense. A little calmness seeping into you. You thanked him as he put the tea down onto your desk. You took a sip of it, letting the warm tea console your cold body.
“Hey, I need to do my works, but if you need me, I’m just a buzzer away” Jungkook said with a comforting smile.
You give him a small smile back. “Thank you” you said before he left your office.
That was also the start of the downfall.
You start to push people around you far. Diving more into your work. An unhealthy amount of overtime. You knew you made a mistake when even Jungkook left you. That argument one night in your office, of how you complain about his deserve-to-be-called-perfect work, how you said there’s always something wrong about how he done his work, and how you ended up saying things about him personally. And that’s when Jungkook decided that he had enough of you. He immediately asked to the Human Resource Department to move him, and that they did. You knew you messed up when Jungkook finally went away.
But you were so convinced that he would leave you anyway sooner or later. You ignored the signs. And now your friendship is as strained as ever. You continued on with your life, pretending like he means nothing, but just another employee. You pushed him away. The feeling of having a friend, someone to trust to, suddenly feel foreign to your liking.
But it’s not like it’s your fault alone.
Jungkook also pushed you away. Slowly he started to talk less to you. His professional and personal life got too complicated when his fiancée demanded for a break up. Jungkook was more than heartbroken. They’ve been engaged for years. They even planned for a wedding.
But his love was greeted with a simple text message that just simply end their relationship. Over. A. Message.
“Not ready for marriage, let’s break up”
That’s it. Jungkook tried to make it work, believe it, he did. He called her what feels like thousand times, and no respond. He came back to his supposedly shared apartment only to find her belongings were no longer there. That’s it. She cut all contacts. Nothing. Just a single text message.
Both of you got too deep into each other’s problem and forgot that you both in pain.
You knew it was ten to midnight. And if it wasn’t for the constant buzz on your phone, indicating your mom’s call, you would have stayed here until the sun came probably. Your unhealthy amount of overtime reached into your mother’s ears, and she wasn’t liking it, not one bit.
You finally packed up your bag and made your way towards the lift. The feeling of fatigue finally hitting you. Your body screams for rest. Your mental screams for enough of stress. As the lift bell dings, you finally stood straighter preparing yourself to walk in. And the door opened. Revealing Jeon Jungkook to you.
God, you miss having him to talk to. Your deepest conscience telling you to apologise and fix things. But your ego is way too big for that. You have to admit that somewhere inside, you missed having him as a friend. And yet, you ignored it.
The lift ride was filled with nothing but silence. Both of you has so much things to say, but left unspoken.
Jungkook wanted to ask whether you have healed or no. Why would you want to go home this late. Please take care.
And you want nothing but to apologise.
But you both left them unspoken.
And so you both made your way home.
And then the next time you both encounter each other was at the late of night too. It was almost a month since then. You were just about to go home from now your normal checking out time. And him from overtime.
Jungkook was a little concerned. Your demeanour seem different once again. You look rather pale. Your eyes unfocused. Little droplets of sweat trickled down your forehead. And Jungkook was more than concern if you’re going home driving by yourself.
But somehow, he didn’t say anything. Truth be told, he was scared, but also felt foolish for doing that.
But you made a difference.
“Good night, Kook” you said as you left the lift. Jungkook eyes widened in surprised. He followed along behind you. He was about to reach out to you, want to offer himself to drive for you. But then he saw that you had a chauffeur with you, and so he stayed back.
What you both didn’t notice was,
Two eyes, sadly but also curiously, been observing you from the tower beside yours.
It was 9pm. Jungkook was just home from the bar. Him and his colleagues made a quick stop there. Not to celebrate anything really, just to let some steam off their body and mind. Jungkook wasn’t drunk. To his disappointment. As much as he’d like to drink like there’s no tomorrow, he has family matter to attend tomorrow, and one hell of a workload.
So he found himself here in his apartment. He took a shower before changing into his grey sweatpants from his formal suit. He did some small workouts, if he can’t get drunk, then he’d sweat some bit. Doing his routine. He made himself some instant ramen, something he snorted at, as he promised himself not to touch the very thing once he graduated university. It’s not like he was too lazy to cook, it was just because he only has that in his cupboard. He hasn’t got the time to do grocery really.
He laid on his bed once he’s done. The comfort of his bed taunting him to go straight for sleep, but he knows better. He has things that need to be done, the thing that very much cockblocked him from getting drunk. He sighed. He pulled out his macbook, plugged in his USB, and got back into work. The only perk from this was he could work in comfortable manner.
But of course. He can’t focus on even one word. His minds keep wandering to the most useless things. He sighed in frustration, hands messing with his own hair. He tried once again to focus, but he really can’t. He wondered if this is what exhaustion and unhealthy amount of workload did to you.
His eyes can’t help but wander to the digital clock on the right upper corner. He sighed. Of course he can’t focus. It’s twenty five minutes past ten in the night. He wants nothing but sleep. So he tried to situated himself like he was in the office.
But his mind unexpectedly wanders back to you. And your unhealthy obsession recently with overtime. He didn’t know if it was his gut feelings, but something unsettling overcome him.
He stood straighter. He didn’t know why, but he felt that something is wrong. He reached out for his phone. He tried to call you, in months, he finally called you, all because he felt like there’s something wrong, and yet he doesn’t even know why. His call was left ranging. So he tried your office number. And yet no respond.
He felt even more uneasy. Anxiety start to fill him. Were you alright? But you would answer your calls in a heartbeat, no matter who.
So he got up from his bed. He took his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants, his car key into his hand. It was late, and he found himself driving back to the office, all because he felt like something had happened to you. He almost found himself silly for it.
He ran out of his car as soon as he parked it. Thank god the security recognised him. He was met with the question, “Why are you here, this late?” The security asked.
Jungkook was almost out of breath, but he managed an answer. “Is y.n still here?” He asked.
The security raised an eyebrow. “If it’s not midnight, then yes” he said.
Jungkook immediately run towards the lift. As no one use it, it immediately open as soon as he pressed the button. He immediately went for your floor. He keeps jittering inside the lift. The lift was relatively fast, but to Jungkook, that moment was the longest lift ride in his life.
As soon as he arrived, he ran out of the lift towards your office. He stopped in front of your door. He knocked. ‘Right, this could be ridiculous’ he thought. But nothing came from the other side of the door.
He opened the door, decide to let himself in. And to his horror. You were on the floor. Passing out. Your hand was on your stomach. Jungkook ran towards your form. He shook your body. Frantically. “y.n, wake up, please wake up” he said in panic. He immediately went to hold your body bridal style, lifting you into the lift.
The security was more than shocked when he saw the lift door opened revealing Jungkook lifting you in his arms.
“What happened?” He asked as he run towards you both.
“I don’t know, I found her on the floor” Jungkook said as he walk fast towards his car. Jungkook placed you gently on the back seat of his car.
“Thank you for letting me in” Jungkook said to the security.
The security waved him off, “Just get Miss y.l.n to safety, be safe Jungkook” he said before Jungkook’s car went pass him.
For once, Jungkook thanked his gut instinct to lead him there, but also hating to be true. He saw how pale you were, your hair damp from cold sweat, your body warm. He drives you to the hospital.
As soon as he arrived, he immediately went for the emergency unit. Having you in his arms once again. Thankfully a nurse immediately came to his aid, leading him to a bed where you’ll be taken care of.
“I found her passing out in the office, her body was kinda warm-“
“Sir, please calm down, she’ll be okay” The nurse cut when she saw Jungkook frantic.
The doctor check you, your vitals and all. Jungkook can’t even remember what was what. All he remember was panic filling him, as he watched you being taken care of, he can’t find himself leaving you for some reason.
The doctor turned to him once she’s done. “Seems like she got a fever, and gastritis, has she been under any stress lately?” She asked.
“She’s been taking an unhealthy amount of overtime I admit, for months, diving into her work, and nowadays, or well since a month ago, she went home at almost midnight” Jungkook said.
The doctor shook her head. “Well, that needs to stop or it’s going to be more dangerous, I’m guessing that’s where her gastritis came from, it’s probably from the stress, so please take care of her Sir” she said. “It would be ideal if she take some day off for two or three days if possible” she added before she went to the other patients.
Jungkook took a seat beside your bed. Hands reaching for yours. His fingers brushing off the hair that was on your face, when he noticed you slowly opened your eyes. He gave you a smile. “Hello” he greeted.
You looked at him in confusion. “Jungkook?” You asked, voice hoarse. Jungkook hummed in response.
“Where are we?” You asked.
“Hospital” he answered nonchalantly. “You passed out in your office when I found you” he said.
You looked at his attire. He certainly doesn’t look like someone who was in the office. And seems like Jungkook noticed you were staring. And so he snorted. “No y.n, I didn’t work in this attire, I was from home” he said.
“Then w-“
“y.n!” A voice suddenly interrupted. Both you and Jungkook looked towards the intruder.
Chill running down your spine. You want nothing but leave the hospital as soon as you saw it. There you saw him.
Kim Taehyung.
Jungkook looked at the both of you. For some reason, he felt dumb to be here now. So he excused himself, leaving the two of you alone. He didn’t know that all you wanted was for him to stay, to keep you sane, and from tackling down the man that was intruding.
“What do you want?” You said, voice came colder than you mean to. You can’t even help it.
“Are you okay?” Taehyung asked. He stood near the corner of your bed, too scared to sit beside you. “I saw Jungkook held you from the office, and so something must be wrong” he added.
You rolled your eyes at the question. “Or maybe it could be that we’re dating, but whatever Taehyung, just go home and leave me alone” you said.
“I’m sorry…” he suddenly apologised.
You sat up on your bed, setting your feet down, and stood from your bed. “Well, I don’t really know what you’re apologising for, and we’re long done, and I don’t want anything to do with you anymore Kim, have a great night” you said before you left him standing there, searching for Jungkook you went.
You immediately grab his hand when you found him, wanting nothing but going home at this point. “Let’s go home” you said to him, almost begging.
Jungkook looked at you. He laughed at how you look. You were hesitating to look back, afraid Taehyung would be there. “Don’t worry, he isn’t there” he said as you both walk towards the counter to pay.
“What makes you think I’m scared of him? I’m not!” You said.
“You’re not, but it’s clear that you just want to disintegrate when he’s in the same room as you” he joked.
You hit his arm playfully. “Just take me home, Jeon” you said.
You hate hospitals, but you have to admit, you missed joking around with Jungkook, even if it has to happened in a damn hospital.
‧₊˚✩彡.----‧₊˚✩彡.
You immediately went for your room once you arrived. You changed into your pyjamas, making yourself comfortable in your bed. You started to feel drowsy.
“You better keep your eyes open, because I’m going to cook you something y.n” Jungkook said while standing by the door of your bedroom.
You rolled your eyes. “God, is this what sleep paralysis like?” You joked.
Jungkook snorted at your words. “Not my fault, that someone had to work unhealthily, and now have a gastritis, I need to fill that tummy with some food, don’t I?” He teased you before he walked towards your kitchen.
He opened your refrigerator. Much to his luck, all he needed to do was reheat the food that your mother had sent. He reheat the chicken soup that was placed inside a thermos, before placing it into your bowl.
He went back to your room. He found you had fallen asleep. He hated to woke you up, but he had to. He gently shook your body, awaking you. You whined, wanting to sleep. “I’ll feed you, come on” he said. You opened your eyes grumpily, giving him your best death glare, and he chuckled.
“Why are you chuckling? You should be scared!” You whined.
“What makes you think I’m scared of you?” He asked back. His hand feeding you the soup.
And just like that, you fell into playful banter with him as he fed you. It’s almost like nothing had happened. And you both enjoy the moment while it lasts. Yet unspoken things left unspoken.
The next day, you felt kind of better. Thanks to the medication and Jungkook, you thought. Well, in fact, you felt lots better since forever. It’s like a heavy weight had been lifted off of you. For the first time in forever, you prepared your morning in a light mood, you found yourself humming softly to a song.
However, when you arrived at the office, you found Jungkook nagging at you. “Why are you here?” He said. You gave him a sheepish smile. You knew he told you not to come today, or even take a vacation to Europe or something.
“I’m doing my duty as an employee, sir” you said in a joking manner. Jungkook shook his head at you.
“I can see that, but I rather want it if you stay at home for a day or two” Jungkook said, playing along with you.
You hit his shoulder playfully. “I’m your boss, you brat!” You said. Jungkook laughed at you.
“Well boss, I’m sorry for this then” he said as he suddenly stop in his track.
Seeing him stopped make you stop to. Your head tilted in confusion. “For what?” You asked.
“For this” Jungkook said as he grabbed a hold of your shoulder, making you turn around, leading you towards the exit door of the lobby.
“Jeon Jungkook!” You yelled as he still pushed you, all while giggling. You didn’t try to resist him either.
“It’s doctor’s word y.n, not mine” he said in fake disappointment.
You pouted when you found yourself back at your car, with Jungkook sitting on the driver’s seat, and you on the passenger seat. “Jeon Jungkook I swear to god, won’t you let me work?” You said.
“And let you overwork yourself to the point of death? No ma’am” he said, eyes focused on the road.
“Aren’t you supposedly working too?!” You sulked still with a pout.
“Well, if it wasn’t for certain someone, I would” he said in a matter of fact tone. You chuckled. “Beside, I know you would bail me out” he added followed by a wink.
You fake choked at him. “Don’t you dare wink on me” you said. To your horror however, the boy winked even more. “I’m going to kick you out of my Benz, keep doing that Jeon” you fake-threatened him, caused him to laugh.
“Just be quiet, you’re going to like where we’re going” he said.
“Yeah… sure thing Jeon” you said. But truth be told, you were kind of excited. But then again, Jungkook had always been good at making the littlest thing seem exciting to you.
You chuckled when you recognised the street he took. “Really Jeon? You brought me to an amusement park? What are we? Five?” You said.
Jungkook gave you a cheeky smile. “What? Everyone loves amusement park y.n, you are just boring” he said.
You scowled at him, not one to be beaten. “Oh come on, I would rather be at the office and working than wasting my time” you said jokingly.
“Well, let’s see what you think when we arrived” he challenged.
You can’t help but feel giddy when you step off the car. It’s like you are a teenager all over again. Though you tried to hide it, not wanting Jungkook to know. Adrenaline and excitement filling you.
“Y.n, I can practically see how you’re shaking in excitement from here” Jungkook teased when you both queuing for the entrance ticket.
“Shut up Jeon, I haven’t gone to the amusement park since forever, let me live a little” you said. Your eyes wandered. For a moment, you feel like convincing your company to build one out of impulsiveness.
You grab Jungkook’s hand once you walked past the entrance. You immediately went for the shop. “Jungkook, let’s buy those cute bandanas!” You said excitedly. For the first time in forever, you feel like a child again, and honestly, you weren’t complaining.
You can’t see, but Jungkook had a bright smile. It’s been so long since he saw you smile genuinely. Your smile has been very business-like, something that was shown for publicity. Your eyes have been void of emotion. And that day, he saw some colours coming back to you, and truth be told, Jungkook felt more than happy to see that.
It’s the way you excitedly grab him to here and there, and Jungkook wasn’t even complaining. He complied to you. He let you lead him to anywhere. He laughed along as you seemingly can’t stop your giggles. It’s funny really, because he was in his shirt and dress pants, and you were also in formal attire, but the way you both act making people think that you were both some high schoolers.
It’s like you both didn’t even notice you were walking hand in hand.
“I’m sorry I keep grabbing you, it’s your turn to choose then” you said when you realised.
Jungkook turn his head towards you and hummed in response. “No problem, I love the rides, you are great at choosing them, should give it a thought to turn it into your profession” he said in a joking manner.
You shook your head. “Nah, that’d make it lose the fun” you said, playing along.
You both took a seat on a bench, ice cream in hand. You almost laughed at how it seems so cliche, coming straight out of rom-com series. But when you both let go of each other’s hand, you had to admit it feels strange. Strange that you feel somewhat… disappointed.
And just like that, you both stay silent, enjoying each other’s accompaniment. Both fell into a deep thought. Both has too many things to tell and yet too little courage.
“Penny for your thought?” Jungkook asked, breaking the silence.
You gave him a little smile. “It’s just… I never apologised” you said.
“For what?”
“For the things I’ve said or maybe even done, for hurting you, for even making you get away”
Jungkook stayed silent, no words come up in his mind.
You grabbed his hand again with both of yours. Your action caught his attention, as he now looking at you. “I’m sorry for hurting your feelings, for pushing you away, my ego was too big, and I was so selfish, so… I’m sorry” you said. Sincerity filling your eyes. Jungkook can’t help but gulp.
“It’s not all your fault you know” he said.
Your eyebrows raised in confusion. “What do you mean?” You asked,
“My job and my personal problems got too complicated, I broke things off with my… ex fiancée, my mind was in jumbled, so for that, I’m sorry too” he said.
You shook your head, still confused on why he was apologising. “Jungkook I’m sorry to hear that and you don’t need to apologise for-“
“I pushed you too, and I’m sorry for that, we both too focused on our own problems when we need was each other” he elaborated.
You nodded and chuckled. You felt like a heavy weight has been lifted from your shoulders, and you sure Jungkook felt the same. “I feel better now that I’ve said it” you said.
Jungkook chuckled. “Same, all this time, I thought it’d be hard you know? But it was as simple as that” he added in.
You both looked at each other again. Smiling at each other. Fondness filling the both of you.
You don’t know who leaned in first, but before you know it, your lips were on each other. His enveloping yours. You were too stunned, you were surprised. Your feelings were once conflicted. Too many thoughts went pass your mind. But nevertheless you kissed him back for a moment before you pulled away.
“Not now, kook” you whispered, loud enough for him to hear. Jungkook nodded in understanding.
“Right, I’m sorry for that” he apologised, but you didn’t say anything. Your heart was beating too fast. A bubbling sensation in your stomach. You were afraid.
After that day, neither of you mention it. Things went back to normal. You both went back to how you both originally was. But the kiss, neither of you dare enough to mention it.
You must admit, something had changed. You can feel and see the fondness in Jungkook’s eyes every time you stare into them. You can feel how your heart skips a beat when you were with him. You can feel how it feels more intimate now. But still, neither of you said a thing. Both too scared to do anything. You and him both were scared of past trauma, despite being each other’s strength on overcoming.
‘Too fast’ you both thought.
Holding hands has now become a somewhat normalcy for you both. It’s like almost instinctual for you both to held hands when you were together. And yet, neither of you make a move. It’s how sometimes Jungkook would ruffled your hair, gives you forehead kisses, and your heart would do its thing that it hasn’t done since forever. It’s how you would play with his fingers, let him put his head on your lap when he hang out at your place, and his heart would race in its cage. It’s how you both make each other feels so alive after being so dead for long enough.
It was a rather normal morning. You were walking into your office. Your coffee in one hand and your bag in another. Your secretary greeted you as you walked into your office, you gave her a nod of acknowledgement. You had to admit you missed seeing Jungkook in her seat, but maybe distance would do you good. Especially with the rather intimacy you both have now.
Once you open the door to your office however, a strangely pleasant scent filling your sense. At first you didn’t notice it as, but then as you start walking closer towards your desk, the stronger the scent had become, the clearer the sight of the source.
It was a bouquet of flowers. A bouquet of gardenia, to be exact.
Your eyes widened. You search for any clue on who might be the sender was. But no notes were given. You peeked out from your office door, caught your secretary’s attention.
“Have you seen anyone walking into my office before me?” You asked.
Your secretary shook her head in response. “No, ma’am” she said.
You went back into your office, questions appearing in your head. You admitted you were somewhat hoping it’d be from the person you had in mind.
You talked to Jungkoook about it when he drove you back home. You pouted as you were a curious person, who would be evil enough to keep such secrets, knowing very well you are curious in nature.
“It’s so evil you know! Do you have any idea on who might this… secret admire might be?” You asked.
Jungkook chuckled in response. “How would I know y.n? I don’t work in the same floor with you anymore” he said.
“Still… I’m hoping that you would know” you said, pouting once again.
I’m hoping it’d be you.
The next week, another bouquet was placed on top of your desk. This time however, it’s a bouquet of pansy.
You smiled at the thought. Once again you told Jungkook about it, and he only laugh in response. He was being too passive about it and that made your suspicion of the sender being him intensified. But you said nothing, playing along with his strange reaction.
The next week, another bouquet appeared before you. You sighed and grabbed it. This time, it was a bouquet of amaryllis.
Once again, you told Jungkook about it. And again, Jungkook gave you a passive reaction, compared to his reaction about other things. At this point, you just wanted him to come out, he was acting strange about the whole thing, and this make you even more sure that he was the sender. But you said nothing.
The next week, you planned to go earlier to work. That way, maybe you could caught the culprit in action. You were excited, because now you were more than sure you’re going to caught this person.
Oh, how surprised were you when arrived.
Not only there was a bouquet of white chrysanthemum, this time however, the bouquet comes along with the sender.
There was sitting on your office couch, Jeon Jungkook, with a bouquet in his hand.
He stood up when you arrived. He rubbed the back of his neck as he once again felt nervous. He swore he was prepared, but then you came, and there goes his nerve.
You chuckled as you walked closer to him. “You want to explain something, Jeon Jungkook?” You asked.
He chuckled back. “I know you probably know it’s me, but let’s pretend that you don’t” he said. His eyes now staring into yours. You both can’t help but break into a smile, heart soaring. You both giggled as you keep staring into each other.
Jungkook placed the bouquet on your desk before he grab a hold of your hands. His eyes staring onto your hands that were in his. You chose to stare at him in adoration.
“Would you go on a date with me?” He asked.
You break into giggles once again. The happiness in your heart can’t be contained any longer. “I don’t know Jungkook, would I?” You teased.
Jungkook laughed and threw his head back. “Aw damn, you make me real nervous, you know that” he joked before his eyes stare back into yours.
You gave him a bright smile. You swore you never smile this bright after the whole fiasco in your life. “Sure, I’ll clock out at 5” you said.
“Great, I can’t wait” Jungkook said, giddiness filling him. “See you then, y.n”
You shook your head as he made his way out of your office. You chuckled. It finally really went to this you thought.
You just really can’t focus on your meetings really. Not when all that you thought about was the date you have later with Jungkook. And it doesn’t help that Jungkook is out there, sending you messages, knowing very well you were in a meeting. But you weren’t complaining, the meeting was rather unproductive anyway.
As soon as the clock hit 5, you immediately out of your seat. You were almost embarrassed at how quickly you fly out of your seat. Your secretary flinched the door to your office was opened, revealing you, with your bag in hand. You never went out of work this early in her whole time with you.
“Good thing that I decide to go early today, have a nice evening Lisa!” You said to her before you made your way towards the lift.
You were honestly nervous. You were never this excited for a date. Who would have thought that you will go on a date with Jeon Jungkook? No one! Not even you!
Well maybe your coworkers would disagree.
You waited for him as you sat on the couch at the lobby. You played with your phone as the time keep passing. You grew more nervous as Jungkook is nowhere to be seen. His hair strand is out of your sight and you were rather… scared.
And so you decided to messaged him.
you, 5:15pm: Hey, we’re still on right? I’m waiting at the lobby :)
you, 5:20pm: do you have a meeting? discussion? Come heeere im lonely :(
And yet your messages went unread. Your chest deflated. Your start to grow more anxious. Did you really just get ditched? You can’t help but feel that disappointment come over you. Your thoughts went everywhere, thinking about the negative possibilities of what was happening.
Kookie, 5:32pm: Sorry, I have an emergency, let’s reschedule it
Well now you really were disappointed. You feel like shame is running down your body. You were excited for nothing. You waited for nothing. You’re going to end this not really fine Friday night with your rose wine back at your too-big-for-one penthouse.
You walked solemnly towards your car. You were a little bit pissed to be honest, but you tried to understand. Jungkook was busy, and you tried to understand, it could be his family matter for all you care.
But the sight at the parking lot however, now that made you feel foolish. Now you ended up with feeling betrayed. Just when you thought your day couldn’t get any worse.
There Jungkook, with his supposedly ex-fiancée. You didn’t know what they were talking about, and honestly you were scared to find out what. They could be talking about getting back together.
You felt a pang in your heart. This feel like a deja vu. You felt like the other person in someone else’s relationship again. You just want to get out of there as soon as possible. It didn’t help really that Jungkook had to be in the vicinity where if you walk towards your car, he’d notice.
And so you did. You brace yourself. Now you really need that wine. You could see Jungkook noticing your presence from your peripheral view as you walked. You really tried to pretend like he wasn’t there.
But of course he made it difficult for you.
“y.n-“
“Just… you don’t have to explain okay? I get it Jungkook” you cut. You really don’t want to hear his explanation. You were scared you would be hurt once again… more than you already were.
And so you did. You went into your car without letting him say a word other than your name.
You really hate how your Friday night turn out. Here you were, heart broken, heart fill with disappointment and hurt all over again. This is so familiar to you, and it left a rather bitter taste in your mouth. You were the third person all over again, the one that get in the way.
And yet you feel ridiculous. Jungkook wasn’t even your boyfriend, and this make you feel undeserving for feeling this way.
Your house doorbell ringing woke you from your trance. You tightened your night robe a you walk towards the door. You didn’t bother to check your monitor intercom for some reason.
But the person behind the door was someone you didn’t expect to be. In fact, you don’t expect him to ever come here, ever, again.
“What are you doing here Kim Taehyung?” You asked, your voice cold and yet tired.
“I remember I have some documents left- wait, are you okay?” He asked as he noticed that your eyes were a little bit puffy.
You can’t help but roll your eyes. “Get it another day, when I’m not home” you said. You were about to close the door on him when he put his foot in between, not letting you.
“Kim Taehyung, just fucking go” you hissed.
“Not before you tell me what’s going on because I know damn well you were over our things”
“Not your fucking business! We are over as soon as you said those damn word, don’t you get it? I want nothing to do with you! Or anyone, so please just go!” You bursted.
But Taehyung didn’t even flinch. “You are hurting, who hurt you?” He asked.
“Taehyung please just go, I’m tired okay?”
“It was Jungkook, wasn’t it?”
You froze. Hearing his name was somehow create reaction out of you. But you quickly recover. “Once again, not your business” you said. You attempted to close the door again, but Taehyung held it again.
“So it was him, what did he do?” Taehyung asked, for some reason you noticed that he sounded a little bit pissed, and you hated yourself for noticing that.
“Fuck off Kim Taehyung, just go, it’s seriously none of your business” you said, voice as cold as ever. Now Taehyung knew that he really need to go. And so he did. He finally back off.
Jungkook was distressed. He went home that night, feeling rather distressed. It wasn’t helping that you deliberately ignoring his messages. You were misunderstanding the situation and he didn’t know how to explain it to you. His phone ringing caused him to break out of his trance.
Kim Taehyung, 9:28pm: What did you do to y.n?
Kim Taehyung, 9:28pm: You know what? I don’t even want to know. She was my bestfriend at one point, and I messed up, so let me help to fix whatever it is happening between you two
Jungkook sighed. Getting a message from your ex husband was clearly something he wasn’t expecting. He expect the night to end with a smile on his face, or maybe get some kisses, but now here he was with lots of explaining to do.
Jungkook, 9:30pm: She saw me with my ex-fiancee, my ex fiancee want to get back together, but I don’t, but I guess she didn’t hear me saying that, I just, I don’t know hot to explain that to her
Kim Taehyung, 9:35pm: huh, I thought it’d be more complicated than that lmao
Kim Taehyung, 9:35pm: She loves flower and a damn good explanation though
It was eight in the morning when Jungkook found himself standing at your doorway, with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Hand hesitating to ring the doorbell. He keeps reciting on what he’s going to say, and yet that doesn’t calm his nerve. But then he heard footsteps, walking towards the door. Call him a coward but he found himself putting the bouquet before the doorway before running away to hide himself. His hiding position was also perfect for him to see you.
You opened your door, about to go on morning run. Then you feel it that the door had pushed something that was on its way. You look down, finding the bouquet of flowers. You kneel before it, smile making its way, painting your face. Unlike the bouquets from before, it was mixed, from the very first flower you received which was gardenia, to the latest which was white chrysanthemum.
“Cute” you muttered to yourself.
You got up and looked around, secretly wishing that Jungkook would still be here.
“Jungkook?” You called out, hoping that you wouldn’t make a fool out of yourself. You swore you’d be damn embarrassed if he ended up being there.
Jungkook came out from his hiding place when you called his name. He rubbed the back of his neck, a habit that you noticed he did when he’s nervous. He walked closer to you. You only smiled at him.
“Hi?” You greeted. For some reason, seeing him here being all shy made you forgot about what happened yesterday, you can only hope he was here to bring you some good news.
“Hi” he greeted back, eyes finally looking into yours. “I’m sorry for yesterday, I’m sorry that I had to bail on you” he started.
“It’s okay kook, I-“
“No y.n, you misunderstood the situation, my ex was there because she suddenly said that she wanted to get back together, but I want none of that, okay” he said in one breathe. “I only want you now, and what was in the past… it’s all in the past now” he continued.
You chuckled. Truthfully, Taehyung actually messaged you about this last night, but you don’t have the heart to tell him that, beside, it’s nice to see him all flustered and nervous.
Your chuckle apparently got him confuse. Because why were you chuckling? He remembered you look rather disappointed last night. Were you going to reject him now? He was rather nervous hearing you chuckle.
“Jungkook-“
“I understand if you don’t want this anymore but-“
“Jungkook, look at me” you cut before he can rambled off.
He stopped talking and look at you intently. You smiled once again, his nervousness was so apparent in his face. You want to tease him but clearly he was in misery, and you want to erase that trouble for him.
So you leaned into him. You put both of your hands onto his cheeks, and pulled him closer to you.
You planted a kiss on his lips. A sweet peck. A smile making its way onto your face as you kissed him. Jungkook was freezing on his place, to say that he was surprised was an understatement. But he was quick to recover, he immediately kissed you back, smiling into the kiss.
“I knew” you whispered as you both pulled away.
“What?” Jungkook asked, a smile still painting his face.
“Taehyung told me about what happened, so I knew, but it was fun to see you all shy and nervous” you said in a teasing manner, making him scowled at you.
“Oh come on, my heart almost dropped to the floor when I heard you were chuckling, I thought you were going to reject me” he said. He sighed in relief at the outcome.
You grabbed his hand before you pulled him into the comfort of your home.
“I don’t know kook, I’m rather lazy to go on my morning run now, do you want to cuddle me instead?” You asked in a fake naive tone.
Jungkook chuckled and shook his head. “You, how was that even allowed to come out of your mouth really?” He said, before he leaned in again, pulling you into another kiss.
Epilogue
You were bored out of your mind. This kind of gala is really not your thing. You’d rather spent your night at your bedroom, cuddling with Jungkook. And that was almost the thing that you’d do if it wasn’t for Jungkook dragging you into the gala, and it’s funny really because the invitation was under your name, and he was your plus one. Or as Jungkook said, “It’s rude to not come, y.n”. You knew he was only convinced to come for the free food and champagne, although he denied this.
“Jungkook, come on, let’s go home, I’d rather cuddle you on my bed than be here” you whined into his ear.
“Five more minutes y.n, come on” he told you.
“Okay but you better repay me with some ice cream” you huffed.
And that’s exactly what you were getting on your way back to your penthouse. Jungkook deliberately made a stop on your favourite ice cream parlour.
“You’re the best, you know that?” You said as you dived into your ice cream.
Jungkook watched you with a fond smile on his face. His heart was just so full of love. Seeing you adorably euphoric on the taste of the ice cream, it was a sight for the sore eyes really.
“I love you, you know that?” He said out of nowhere.
You stopped eating your ice cream, giving him a sweet smile. “Uhuh, I love you too boo” you said, your voice was a pitch higher.
He chuckled and shook his head. “I know your birthday is still in a few days but… I think I’m just going to give this to you now” he said.
You raised an eyebrow at him, your ice cream is now abandoned. “You don’t have to get me anything kook” you said.
Jungkook sit closer to you, then he pulled out something from his blazer. It looks like a velvet box, and there’s only one thing that you can conclude. “I feel like I know where this is going” you said with a chuckle.
Jungkook looked back at you, chuckling along with you. “You do?” He asked.
“Yep” you answered, popping the ‘P’.
He took your hand into his. His bigger one enveloping yours, and it feels so warm, you don’t want to let go, ever.
“Then, what’s your answer? Would you marry me?” He asked, eyes staring into yours.
You break into giggles. Your palms reaching for his face, pulling him closer to you. You kissed him and smile into the kiss. Jungkook put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer more than you already were, deepening the kiss in the process.
“Of course I would” you said into the kiss.
a/n: I’M BACK! Hello friends! I’m very sorry for the long hiatus, school had been extremely hectic :( also this is my first writing in forever, so i apologise if it’s bad ;-; but I’m happy to be back!
hi everyone! in case you haven’t noticed, i’m back! school is still as hectic as ever and im currently writing two or three fics, and I hope i can deliver it to you all soon! Also, request is open!
Everything flashed by you. It was blindingly bright. And then dark abyss replace it. But then it was bright again, before darkness come again. Your vision was being abused to say the least. Your head hurts beyond compare. You don’t know what’s happening and how long it takes, but all you know, it left you helplessly weak. Your head feels like it was about to burst. And so you went out of consciousness.
You don’t know for how many hours it had been. All you knew was whatever you laid on feel so cloud-like, you almost gave in to the comfort of it. Slowly you opened your eyes. You realised you were in a room with dim lighting, whoever made it like that must be very considerate. But where were you?
Your head felt like it had been hammered real hard. But you forced yourself to get up. You need to. Slowly you landed your feet on the ground, straightened your back, and got up from the bed. It was nice to stay in the safety of the blanket that was draped over you, but just, where the hell were you?
Your steps were careful around the room. It’s almost like a single noise would wake a monster that may lurking around this room. You try hard to recollect your memories that isn’t your name. You scan the room, searching for anything that may define you.
You realised the room was pretty spacious. Rather than call it a room, you may call it a studio apartment, a spacious studio apartment. It had a bathroom inside it, a mini kitchen, a study desk, and a sofa that faced the tv and was placed beside the bed. It wasn’t cramped in your opinion, it was rather spacious really. The fairy lights over the headboard making the room even cosier.
But really. Your question wasn’t answered. Where were you? And who were you really?
You see a glass of water on the study desk, with some medicine near it. Not far from it, a post it note was placed. “Take the aspirin, thank me later ;)” the note read.
You slightly tilted your head in confusion. But obeying the note, you took the pill into your hand and brought it into your mouth, having the water to help you swallow it.
You sit down on the chair that accompanied the desk. Rummaging through the books that were there. The only conclusion you had was you were probably studying something about diplomacy.
You got up from the chair and now reaching for the bag on the sofa. You opened it and found a smartphone in it. You thanked all the god above that the phone had no passcode whatsoever. Another realisation hits you. You don’t remember a thing about anything, but once you get to it, it’s like your memory come back, and you got used to it, like it was never gone, it’s like having someone in your mind telling you how to use it or how does things work around here but no, it was all you. The only thing that still bothered you was, it doesn’t feel like it belongs to you.
You open the messages. The most recent one was from someone named Martha. Your eyes squint, trying to remember who Martha was and yet nothing came up. But from the messages, you thought Martha was probably the closest pal you got.
But the confusion was still there. You don’t know who you were really. You knew your name. You knew your own identity. But... who were you?
You can’t stop the tears of frustration pouring from your eyes. You silently sobbed into your pillow. All you ever wanted was to know what was going on.
You got up once again. Walking into your wardrobe. Changing your pyjamas into a legging and a hoodie. You brought your phone with you and headed out.
As soon as you were out. Wonders start to fill you. The chilly wind of autumn hitting you, but honestly, you loved it. It was refreshing, it felt like a splash of cold water into your jumbled mind.
You didn’t know where your legs lead you to but you walked anyway. You didn’t know where your destination was but it felt right. It felt like a normal thing.
You reached a park. Not many people was there. It was rather calming really. You looked around you, seeing kids playing with their bikes, couples going on a date, families going on a picnic, and the sight unknowingly bring a smile to your face. You slowly sat down on a bench. Breathing in the fresh air. The sun was setting, the golden hour had come, it was beautiful really.
Your eyes caught the sight of a man, sitting on the grass. He was focused on writing something on his notebook. For some reason, you longed to approach him. Who was he? You wondered. It was like your body has its own mind as it leads you to him. You found yourself walking towards his way, sitting down beside him, caught the attention of the man.
“Hi” you greeted. You were freaking out inside, although fortunately it wasn’t shown on your face. Greeting him feel so normal and that makes you even more curious about this man. Who was he? Why does it feels so normal to be around him when you don’t remember who this man was? But why doesn’t he trigger a memory to you? Why?
“Hi” the man greeted back with a smile on. Dimples adoring his cheeks when he smiled. You swore your heart stopped momentarily. What was that? What was that feeling?
“Why do you seem so familiar to me?” You said unconsciously.
He chuckled. He looked into your eyes like as if he knows something that you don’t. His stare held so many meanings that seemingly for you, and yet you can’t decipher what is it.
“Really?” He asked. You realised his voice was so deep you could drown in it. But yet his deep voice makes you feel high for some reason. It makes you jittery, and giving you urges.
“Do I know you?” You asked. Your curiosity was at its best. Whoever this man was, he successfully caught your full attention. No, he caught you where it feels like it supposed to. You were so attracted to this man and yet, you don’t even know who he was. The familiarity, the sense of comfort he brought, it’s like you knew him for all your life.
His chuckled woke you up from your trance. He looked deep into your eyes once again as he smiled even wider and even sweeter if that was possible. Your heart was racing inside the cage. “Maybe” he said.
“Maybe for all your life” he added, his smile was cheeky.
“I’m y.n” you introduced yourself. “I’m sorry if I was being to forward” you said while shaking your head, realised how forward you might have been.
“It’s okay, I understand” he said, still with a smile on. “I’m just happy that you’re here” he whispered inaudibly, you barely heard it.
“No matter how long it takes, I will always wait for you”
Hello guys! I know it’s been so long since I posted :( sorry to keep you waiting, school was extremely hectic, and I was in and out of depression. Anyway if you guys like this drabble, I might make it into a one shot 💗
my precious burst of energy - kim namjoon (bts) (oneshot)
A/N: BACK WITH NAMJOON FIC MUAHAHA! I’ve been feeling lottas namjoon feels nowadays, pls bear with me, ily guys <3 Also to those who’s waiting for my Baekhyun’s fic, please wait a little bit more! <333
Summary: You were in the last year of your university. Essays here and there, not to mention researches. To sum it up, it was hell. And you felt like you made a great decision when you decided to move into a cozy nice medium sized apartment near your campus. And your roommate happened to be the campus’ most feared guy. But little incident lead to a thing. What happened though when said incident happened to someone who has graduation on the line and in the middle of breakdown?
Warning: implication of smut happened but no smut scene, curses, bad english, grammar mistakes, unedited
Genre: FLUUUUFF, a lil touch of angst, roommate au, grad stud!namjoon, law stud!reader
Word count: 9,024
Kim Namjoon x readers
oneshot
The fatigue from sleep finally start to kicking in, by giving you signs from the dull ache in your head. You can’t help but stir in your sleep, frown making its way into your face, before you slowly opened your eyes. The sun hasn’t rise fully, but by the slight brighter color that seems to seep from your curtain, you were sure it was around half past six in the morning.
You let out a little yawn as you stretched out your body. Hands coming down to your eyes to gently rubbed away the sleepiness. You felt like death. Body all stiff, you suspected it was because of your unchanging posture for a long time from finishing essay that is critical on deciding whether you graduate last night.
And finally, the dull ache was being replaced by a pounding pain. You groaned, regretting your choice of finishing your essay in a night. You really regret on putting behind your essay, because now you have to deal with the consequence aka going with at least two hours worth of sleep. You really can’t wait to have this essay get it over and done with. Hours of research and typing makes you wanna poke your eyes out of tiredness.
Getting up from the bed, you walked into the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face. Carefully you made your way there, hand reaching for the wall to steadied yourself.
The coldness of the water freshen you up a little bit. The grumble in your stomach however remind you that the last meal you had was that sandwich from the cafe that you visited on your way home.
You walked into the kitchen, silently pouring yourself some cereal and milk into your bowl, before you took a seat on the couch in the living room.
The sound of door opening break the silence of the morning that seemed to be filling the apartment. Your head quickly shot up at the intruder, spoon stop midway from your mouth. You thanked god that it wasn’t in your mouth just yet or else you’d choke remembering that you probably look like someone who hasn’t have enough rest since they were born.
There was your roommate, Kim Namjoon, walking out of his room. It’s been a month since you both became roommate, and yet, you were still a little bit too intimidated to initiate a friendly conversation whatsoever. Your conversations are all just about house necessities. He was your senior by three years, or well, supposedly had he weren’t graduated. He was notable for his intimidating aura around the campus. No one brave enough to challenge him and his authority, unless you are his friend, a close one at that. From what you heard, he was close to six of the most popular boys at campus, but honestly? You really couldn’t care less, most of them had graduated so there’s no reason for you to care.
But that doesn’t change the fact that you weren’t part of the exception. His aura was overwhelming to you. You were intimidated by his very presence if you could frankly speak. He was this smart student, loved by so many professors to the point that almost at every lesson his name would be mentioned by them at least once, his achievements are all there for anyone to know and anyone to see. He was a student anyone aspire to be. To say that you were intimidated, wasn’t come as a surprise.
Your friends are all beyond shocked when they first knew that Namjoon will be your roommate in your apartment. They were all teasingly comforting you as if saying that you’ll be able to go through this just fine. But really, you swore you almost die from heart attack every time he appeared around you in the apartment.
“G-good morning!” you greeted a little bit way too bubbly and cheerful than you would like to. You mentally slapped your forehead.
Namjoon’s eyes shot up at you. His expression was unreadable, which doesn’t come as a surprise, but you were still feeling like shitting your pants out of humiliation anyway. “Morning” he answered, voice lower and less cheerful than you were. Well it was still early in the morning, what were you expecting anyway.
You turn your attention back to your breakfast decide that maybe, today is not the day you’re going to engage a conversation with Kim Namjoon, once again. You saw it through your peripheral view that he suddenly stopped in his track, caught your attention making you look up at him.
“U-uh” he stuttered, as if hesitating to talk. Your expression said nothing but inside, you were amused at the fact that he was stuttering. You always imagined Namjoon as the man with his mind always gathered, he got the males and females on the palm of his hand, and have nothing to be afraid of. But seems like that’s not always the case. You were sure if your friends right there, they would go into some teenage girl mode.
You can’t deny at the fact that Namjoon is an attractive man. And you can’t deny the fact that there’s some time where you were just home, and he was watching the TV at the living room, and you would secretly hawking at him. And anyone and their mothers know that Namjoon is one hell of an attractive man, especially with that brain of his. Your theory is further confirmed by the fact of the women’s moans you’d hear at least once in a week. At first you thought he got a lover, but this theory was debunk as you caught several women going out of the apartment, and all are different. You gotta applaud him on that one, because your sex life is currently nonexistent, let alone romance.
But it seems like you fell into deep thoughts because Namjoon’s raised voice to caught your attention managed to make you jump a little bit. “Ah yes! Sorry! What were you saying?” you asked.
Namjoon shook his head. “I’d be home a little bit late today, I’ll have a dinner with my… colleagues tonight” he said, before he scratched the back of his neck, as if asking himself why did he goes into detail, and why did he tell you that when all this time, you both never told each other if either of you going to be home late. Your eyebrow raised in wonder, but nevertheless, you nodded at him, sparing the poor man from possible embarrassment.
“Okay…” you said simply, before going back to your paused meal. The sound of door closing was heard, probably Namjoon was going out for a run.
After you finished your meal, you washed the dishes before getting ready for the day.
It was almost seven in the evening. Your plan to have some me time was thrown out of the window at this point in your opinion honestly. You were just finishing up your essay that your professor had pointed out that needed to be corrected or some sort, which earned a big internal groan from you. Through your grit teeth, you accept it, with a forced smile of course.
You were beyond tired. And honestly, you felt like crying your heart out, because really, no matter how many times you’ve corrected it, it feels like you’re just always wrong. And you were beyond exhausted and anxious. But you held your tears back, not wanting to break into a breakdown in the middle of the now empty auditorium. Silently, you packed your things into your bag.
The walk towards your apartment was rather solemn. Or at least, it was to you. Everyone was enjoying their Friday night. You saw some people who dressed up to go to a club. Restaurants packed with people, mostly couples. It was a very alive night to say the least. And you felt pathetic for walking with your head down, laptop being held to your chest, a longchamp bag in your shoulder, clearly was dressed for anything but fun.
As soon as you walked into the comfort of your very own room, you immediately went into your study desk, putting your bag that filled with books on top of it, along with your laptop, setting up what you usually need when you work at home. You removed the light makeup you put on before you took a shower and changed into your pajamas.
With a sigh, you sat on the chair. Your chair was a very comfortable chair, you bought it with your saving, and you had to say, you didn’t regret it one bit. But that doesn’t change the fact that you still get stiff after sitting there for hours, but at least, it was better than what your friends had to go through. You opened your laptop to continue the essay. From time to time, you keep rubbing your eyes, fighting to stay awake.
The sound of door opening from outside was heard, signaling that Namjoon had gone home, or at least that’s what you hoped for not some burglars forcing entrees. Still you didn’t pull your attention from your work. You can hear the sound of giggles outside, and you were more than sure that Namjoon didn’t have a ‘dinner with his colleague’ like he said this morning. You can only hope that they wouldn’t be as loud as Namjoon’s girls would usually do. You were beyond stressed at this point, and you’re more than sure it wasn’t healthy anymore.
But seems like luck wasn’t at your side. It was loud. God, you were even wondering why the neighbors haven’t complained yet at the noise, and you can only guess that they’re also got intimidated by Namjoon, too afraid to confront him. You swore you can feel the tears of frustration brimming in your eyes. And seems like it wasn’t your head that control your movements at that point, but rather your heart. As you find yourself getting up from your chair, exiting your room, and walking towards the path of Namjoon’s room.
You can hear the noise getting louder as you getting closer. And you really feel like exploding, maybe from the noise, or maybe from your stressed state and your desperate need to cool off. Your fist land hardly on the door, and you were pretty sure it was rather banging than knocking at the door at that point. “Please shut the fuck up if you’re having sex or at least lower it!” you screamed into the door. You hear all activities ceased there. And for a moment, your mind is finally gathered and you realized what you had done. You run off back into the comfort of your room, continuing your work. Well at least, you can now work in a more silence environment.
It was the next morning that all the things you’ve done the night before came down upon you. And honestly, you were scared to face Namjoon. Did you ruin his night? Absolutely. Did you regret? Well, you clearly do. And now, you are too scared to go out of the room. The sound that your stomach made clearly screamed for food, and you can only whisper-yelled at it to shut up at least until you were sure Namjoon was out of the house.
You checked the clock on your bedside table. It was showing that it was almost ten. And you really hate the fact that you still had your bed hair on, haven’t shower or anything. Honestly? You felt like you’re going to have 6 boys in your door, mocking you for ruining Namjoon’s night or something. You felt like Namjoon going to make your life a living hell, and you were scared for your own life.
You reached for your phone, and texted your friend about it. You just pressed send, when knocks on your door was heard. You froze on your bed. Not knowing what to do. Should you pretend to be asleep? Should you open the door? Should you open the door and escape from whatever is waiting for you outside that door?
But before you can decide what to do, the door to your room was opened. You mentally blamed yourself for not locking it. And there appeared Namjoon, who seemingly want to peak in at first, but seeing that you were awake, he opened the door a little bit wider, so his head can peaked in better.
“Hey… my friend made us some breakfast if you want” he said while scratching the back of his neck. You can tell that for some reason, he felt awkward.
You who were still froze on the spot, it’s like the sun has shine upon you and melted you. You sat up a little bit more relaxed than you were before. “Uh sure! I’ll be there in a minute” you said.
“Okay good! See you there” he said before he closed the door.
You sighed in relief. It’s like your worries had been lifted at the fact that Namjoon doesn’t seem mad. And now, you felt guilty for ruining his night and possibly his orgasm if he was almost there.
With head down, you walked out of your room, bracing yourself for awkwardness and more of what’s to come.
You sat down on the dining chair, Inhaling the smell of food that seems so delicious. Whoever Namjoon’s friend is, you wouldn’t mind living with them if it means foods like this every single day. You can tell it was homemade. And you didn't know how much you crave it until you saw it before your eyes.
It seems like Namjoon noticed the delirious state you were in. He can’t help but chuckled a little bit. “Please, eat” he said politely.
You shyly look away and eat the food. You swore you can feel your eyes at the back of your head when your spoon reached the inside of your mouth. It was… That good. And Namjoon silently watched you in amusement. You felt like you were a starved man that haven’t eat for years, but now that you think about it, it’s been so long since you eat real food. Your daily food is consist of instant foods from the convenience market near the apartment or the food that you ordered from a restaurant nearby that far from healthy.
As you put down your spoon and swallowed your food, you felt like you had to say something about last night.
“About last night-“
“About last night-“
You both talked in the same time, causing you both to stop. You looked at each other with a wide eyes. And you both can’t help but chuckle. “Please, you go first” you said.
“Oh no, you go first, I insist” Namjoon said.
“Okay… so here comes nothing I guess” you muttered. “I’m so sorry for last night, I didn’t mean to ruin your night or anything, and clearly I didn’t mean to yell and banging on your door last night, it was my bad” you apologized.
Namjoon’s eyes widened. “Oh no no no, please, don’t be sorry, it should be me who’s supposed to be sorry, after all it was my partner that was being loud, you sound rather stressed last night, are you okay?” he asked, eyes filled with concern.
You clearly caught off guard. You expected anything but his concern. “Well, you know, or you probably don’t considering how people admire you so much and how smart you are, but it was just… you know, it’s my last year and all, and I have this very important essay, and I’m a little bit more stressed than I’m supposed to, and I- I’m sorry, I’m rambling” you said before you shook your head at your tendency on talking more than you supposed to.
Namjoon chuckled again. “No no, it’s okay, I understand, I also went through what you’re going through, anxieties and stress, mostly stress though, I’m scared that it won’t be enough to get me to graduate, blah blah blah” he said.
“Yeah! Just like that” you agreed.
“I can help you if you want?” Namjoon offered.
“Huh? Oh no! You really don’t need to-“
“It’s okay, I don’t mind, I like helping people anyway” he shrugged.
“Oh really? But I don’t want to burden you…”
“It’s okay really, just bother me whenever when you need help because I clearly don’t mind” he said with a smile followed by a wink, making you somewhat flustered. “Do you have any plan tonight?” He asked.
“Well, my plan for tonight is actually finishing my never-ending essay at this cafe that my friend keep recommending me, but she’s out with her boyfriend so… yeah” you said.
“Well, might as well bring me along so I can help you!”
“Are you sure-“
“Y/n, I’m more than sure, please, just let me help you, take this as my apology of being noisy last night and for haven’t offering you my help all this time” he insisted.
You chuckled at how persistent he was. “Okay, we’re going at 3 then” you said with a smile on.
“3 it is”
It was almost three. You were sitting in front of your wardrobe not knowing what to wear. It feels like nothing looks good on you despite you’ve been wearing the clothes countless times.
“It’s not even a date, why am I brainstorming on what to wear again?” you rumbled to yourself.
A knock on your door woke you up from your trance. “Are you ready?” Namjoon asked from behind the door.
You panicked and quickly got up. Quickly chose an outfit to wear. “Hold on! Let me change my clothes!” you said.
You finally settled for a white short sleeved, a mom jeans, and a white sneakers to complete the fashion. You brought your laptop and longchamp bag that filled with books with you before you made your way out of your room.
“Well, let’s go!
You had fun really. With Namjoon’s help, you felt your uneasiness was relieved by a lot. He was a lot nicer than you actually thought at first. He made the subject seems easy really. And you were more than thankful for his help, because you were sure without his help, your essay would be nowhere. As your thank you, his beverage was your treat, despite him insisting on paying.
You both laughed at he fact how it’s been 4 years, yet you only got close now. You really blamed yourself on being too scared to approach him.
“Well, to my defense, you always seem busy, the first two years, you were busy with university and your organizations, and then the next, you were busy with searching for a job, and I guess, it’s only know I finally get to know about you!” you defended yourself.
Namjoon playfully raised an eyebrow at you. “Are you sure it’s only about that?” he teased.
You laughed. Clearly he caught you there. “Well, I admit that you intimidated me! But who wouldn’t? Literally everyone in my year is scared of you, and of course, I can’t help but feel the same” You said while pouting.
“I really don’t get why they’re scared of me! I’m a nice man!” Namjoon whined.
“Well, you are this attractive man with one hell of a sexy brain and lots of achievements, and every professor talk about you at least once in every lesson… boy, don’t be surprised” you said before you took a sip of your drink.
Namjoon suddenly made a teasing face at you, like as if something you said had intrigued him a lot. “What? Something on my face?” you asked, hand reaching for your face, feeling somewhat self conscious.
“No no, but you said I’m an attractive man with a sexy brain” Namjoon said while chuckling.
Your breathe got caught, and you almost choked. You really got to stop talking beyond what your brain can handle, because that is clearly out of the line.
“Oh don’t worry, many had told me about that before” he said in a playful tone with a smirk on his face.
You can’t help but rolled your eyes. “Oh sure you had, the constant noise in our house proves that” you retorted back.
That evening, you both chat with each other as he helped you, getting to know each other better. And maybe… he isn’t as bad as what people told you. No, he’s definitely not like what those people said.
It wasn’t until as you went home that you chatted your friend about your day.
from y/n: Holy shit, but I think I just have a good day after so many bad days?
from y/n: he’s not so bad…
Monday finally comes around. You can’t help but groan, as you have to go to the campus again. You were low-key wishing that you would break a bone so you wouldn’t have to go. But of course that didn’t happen, because as much as you wish for so, break a bone would hurt so bad, and hospital bill is expensive, and you wouldn’t risk foods for broken bones.
And just like you expected, it was a long day. You were chatting with your friends at the cafeteria. You would chat outside if it wasn’t for the heat. But even inside, you could feel you’re about to break into sweats, proven by how you and your friends keep fanning to yourself.
The conversation about Namjoon surprisingly doesn’t come up. You were pretty surprised as it was your friend here that you were talking about. But you didn’t prey on it. But for some reason, that’s all you wanna talk about. You want to gush about him, about your day, and yet you feel like you can’t. And you don’t even know why.
Until suddenly a sight caught your attention. It was Namjoon walking towards the entrance of your cafeteria. You were genuinely confused of Namjoon’s sudden appearance here. But seems like your excitement outweighs your logic as you found yourself leaping out of the seat, and running towards him, earning a few yells of questions from your friends.
You greeted him excitedly. “Hi Namjoon!” you called. And you felt it. Everyone stopped whatever they were doing, dead in their tracks. And you feel yourself suddenly froze in your own place. Your eyes were about to close in shame as you see Namjoon scratching the back of his neck. Uh oh, did you make him uncomfortable?
And then you remember the reputation he held. God… to anyone’s sight, it’s like you were greeting the beast asking for death. His nice side, you only recovered it like two days ago. He probably doesn’t want so many people to find out, and now that you greeted him excitedly like some teenager in love, people going to talk about it for perhaps days, or even years, and now your peaceful university days without drama will be tarnished, just like that. And you mentally slapped yourself.
Your friend quietly bowed to him before she dragged you back to your seat. And you swore you almost cried in embarrassment. But you were a big girl, you wouldn’t cry in a public place like this.
Your embarrassment reached its peak, as a woman suddenly approached Namjoon who had sit in a seat in front of you and your friends. They look like they were closed with each other. Well judging by the fond smile they shared with each other, it seems like they were close. The woman was rather beautiful. God, you were wondering even if you ever seen her in any magazines, but you don’t remember. It looks like she stepped freshly out of a runway or a manga. And you can see some people in the cafeteria eyeing her. She clearly knows how to flaunt her beauty in the perfect places.
Your friends were asking you about what the hell was that whole fiasco about. And yet you can’t focus on it. Your focus remained on the sight before you and the strange burning sensation in your chest. You can see them giggling with each other. And it seems like your friend caught that, and so she shoved a sandwich into your mouth.
“Now that I think about it, you texted me about him… right?” you friend asked, caught your attention.
And for some reason, you don’t want to admit that. “Nope, you saw that wrong probably” you said.
Your other friend’s curiosity peaked in. “Oh! what did she say?” she asked while giggling.
“Oh no! Minhyuk I swear if you tell her-“
“Honey, I won’t tell her” Minhyuk said, with something that sounds like evilness glazing his words. He suddenly leaned into you. “I will show her” he said right into your ear, before moving to sit next to your friend, Seulgi, to show the text to her.
You didn’t just moved, you flew from your seat, reaching for his phone, hoping Seulgi hadn’t read any about it . “Oh no! You better come back before I kick your ass!” you whined to Minhyuk, as he kept shoving you off of him. But really, he overpowered you, and there’s nothing you can’t do except huffing in your seat, expecting a blow of teasing from both of your friends.
“Ooh~! Someone has a crush!” Seulgi teased as she finished reading the text. Your eyes widened. “Who said it was a crush?! I’m not a middle schooler!” You groaned.
Both of your friends chuckled at that, as if sensing lies in your words. “I bet you were actually dying to talk about him” Minhyuk said. You scoffed quickly, and you felt like it was too quick. “I bet you were dying to talk about him, but I really got to applaud you for having so much self restraint” he said followed by a laugh.
Seulgi laughed at his remark. “Well, clearly she lost it there for a moment” she said referring to the earlier incident. You felt your blood rush to your cheek, as you feel another wave of embarrassment at the memory of it.
And then you saw it. Namjoon and the girl got up from the seat. You saw her slipped her hand into his easily. And he didn’t complain nor look uncomfortable. You tilt your head in confusion really. Did Namjoon has a llover all this time?
And for a moment you were panicking, because what if he heard the conversation? What if his girlfriend heard it?. And just like that, you were dreading to go home, and basically curse in your head at the fact you just have one last lesson of the day before you can finally go home. It was funny considering you were ecstatic about going home early this morning, but now, you just feel like moving to another country.
And finally, the time that you dreaded come. You internally groaned at yourself. Neither of your friends had finish lesson. And it means you have to go home, alone. You would wait for them, but you didn’t want to wait for another four hours. You’re not a big fan of staying in the campus for so late.
And now here you were, walking down the street that you know very well is the way to the place you called home. Well, the place you currently rather dread to go to. And so you took a detour, to the library near your apartment.
The only reason you went to the library was, you need somewhere silent and serene. You were desperate to take some naps without having to be confronted. Not that Namjoon will scold you for taking nap. But at the moment, library is the only plausible place to do that. And beside, after you woke up, you could maybe finish your essay with the help of the books in there.
You took a seat at the very back of the library. It was almost hidden by the high shelves. It was perfect for people who doesn’t want to be found or disturbed. You randomly picked a book as your disguise. You placed your things on the table, next to your head, that you rested on the table, with your hands as a makeshift pillow.
After finally what you felt like hours, you finally woke up. Feeling a little bit more refreshed now that you’ve napped. You stretched your arms out, feeling the blood had flow again. You reach for your phone to check the time out. And it seems like you’ve slept for two hours more or less. You got up from your seat to return the book you took before, as you took the book you really need for your essay, and return to your seat.
It’s like the nap was the best nap you ever took as you found yourself easily doing your essay, your thoughts flow easily. And you felt like a champ in that moment, just for simply doing your essay.
Time flies so fast when you’ve focused on something. Because as your eyes took a slight glance to the clock on your laptop, it was already late, almost 9pm. The grumble in your stomach proven just that. Hours of brainstorming really took a toll on you and your now drained energy. So you packed up your things and head back home.
And the thought of the confrontation you oh so feared of really flew passed your head.
You quietly entered the passcode to your apartment, carefully stepping in, tiptoeing even. The house was quite, and you suspect that Namjoon is either out or sleeping. But judging by the man shoes that were placed next to yours, it seems like Namjoon was here.
The lights in the living room was on, revealing Namjoon who was sitting on the couch, with what look like pizza on the coffee table, and honestly, if you weren’t feeling awkward, you would totally snatch one. He was scrolling through his phone when the sound of your arrival was heard. He put down his phone on the table and sit straighter.
“Hey, why were you so late?” he asked, curiosity peeking in. His voice stopped you in your track. You were like a deer that caught in a headlight, or at least, that’s what it seems to you.
You rubbed the back of your neck. “Uh, I was doing my essay?” you said. And you hoped to god that it was convincing.
“…where?” he asked. You were really wondering why he was asking so many questions when usually he will let whatever your excuses go, because really, usually neither of you care enough about each other to dive in deeper.
“The library near our apartment?” you said, your head tilted a little bit. Honestly, you were flustered at the amount of attention he had on you. Maybe because there’s only the two of you in the house at the moment?
He suddenly got up from his seat, walking towards you. And you can hear yourself screaming ‘Oh no!’ inside your head as he towering over you. “I-I’m sorry” he said, eyes staring at his feet, or your feet, you weren't sure.
“Uh… what for?” you asked. Because honestly, the incident earlier doesn’t quite come to your mind for some reason.
“I probably embarrassed you earlier” he said. “I’m sorry, I'm just… surprised” he added.
And the incident finally came to your mind. The memory of it makes you hoping that the earth would open a hole just to swallow you whole. “Ah… It’s okay, don’t worry about it, I should be the one that apologize, you were probably got scared off” you said, mumbling the last sentence, followed by a light chuckle.
“No, no, no, I’m sorry, I should’ve greeted you back but I just stayed silent like a fool, and you were probably got embarrassed, because if I were you, I would too, and I would probably feel like a fo-“
“Namjoon” you cut him off, not wanting to hear him blaming himself over nothing.
He finally closed his mouth and looked at you. Eyes wide opened. “Yeah?” he asked.
“It’s nothing, don’t blame yourself over it, but if you really want to apologize, I’ll be more than thankful if you offer me that pizza” you said, nodding at the direction where the pizza at.
“Pizza? Ah… that pizza, please have some!” he offered.
You mentally do a victory dance. You walked towards the couch, putting your bag on the carpet and your laptop on the table before you took a slice of the pizza. It’s far from healthy, but as soon as you took a bite, it’s like angel had come upon you and take you to the heaven. You quietly hum in contentment.
“Have you ate dinner?” Namjoon asked as he took a seat beside you, at the other end of the couch.
“I’m eating it right now!” you said, barely audible as you were munching on your second slice of pizza. “And I’m really hungry, so I hope you don’t mind if I finish this heavenly pizza” you continued after you swallowed.
“Of course not, please have it, I’m rather concerned at the fact you forego your dinner, because pizza is not a dinner y/n” he said in as a matter of fact tone, making you rolled your eyes playfully.
“Oh! By the way, I didn’t know you have a girlfriend?” you asked. You really didn’t mean to prey on his private life, but your curiosity got the best of you.
“Girlfriend?” he asked back in confusion.
Now you were flustered. Then who the heck was that?. “Uh the girl you were with? At the cafeteria?” you asked, as you took another slice, not wanting to show whatever it is that you tried to hide in your voice.
“Ah… she was my cousin! She’s a student there too, I think she’s 2 years below you? Or at least that’s what I remember” He said followed by a shrug. “But why were you curious?” He suddenly asked, eyes intensely staring at you, making you almost choked on your pizza.
“Don’t get me wrong mister! My friends are curious too to my defense!” You said after you swallow your pizza. And now that you mentioned your friend, you remember about your conversation, and how you so hope that Namjoon didn’t hear any of it.
“Are you sure?” Namjoon asked, a playful smirk on his face. God, you really wish upon the earth to just swallow you whole in that moment.
“What were you doing anyway at my campus?” you asked, averting the focus, well, that’s what you were trying to.
“Taking this certificate that I got from doing competition” he answered nonchalantly.
Before he can switch the focus again, you abruptly got up from the couch, taking your belonging with you. “It’s late! I’m going to sleep!” You announced as you quickly walk towards your room. Not without Namjoon hot on your tail screaming, “Were you jealous?”
A few days had passed. Everyone in the group chat were having fun announcing they had finished their essay. And yet, you were still stuck with a chapter left. And that makes you can’t enjoy the fun. But what was worse was the anxiety that starts bubbling up at the fact that among your friends, you were the only one that hasn’t finished the essay.
You were honestly exhausted. Your brain can't be forced to be productive that day for some reason. You were extremely feeling exhausted. No matter how long you’ve been staring at the screen of your laptop, nothing comes to your mind what to type next. Even after reading some books for reference, you couldn’t focus on more than two sentences.
Tears of frustration were brimming in your eyes. You just really wanted to finish the goddamn essay. And you felt like you were failing, once again. You’ve been sitting on the same spot for hours, you can feel your butt is hot, legs are stiff and so does your neck.
A knock on the door doesn’t even shook you from your concentration on nothing at all. Whoever saw you at the moment would’ve thought you were just an empty shell of a human without soul.
A gentle and concerned voice however woke you from your trance, made your head shot at whoever was there.
“Are you okay? You haven't been out of the room for hours now” Namjoon said, concern was lacing his voice and face. He apparently had let himself in after getting no response from you. “You haven’t eat any meals, y/n” he added.
You just shook your head. “I’ll eat it once I finish” you said shortly.
He sighed as he walked towards you. His figure towering over you. Truth be told, you were a little bit intimidated under his stare. You looked up at him. Eyes questioning him. “What?” you asked.
His eyes stare right onto yours. “That essay won’t be finished by itself if you can’t think y/n” he said nonchalantly. You groaned in response, knowing that very well. “Eat, being hungry makes your brain stop working” he said in a commanding tone.
“Well sir, first of all, you’re not-“
Your words were being cut by him grabbing a hold of your hand. You were confused at his action of seemingly dragging you from your seat by his grab.
“Namjoon? What are you doing?” you asked, as you helplessly follow him seeing how he is much stronger than you. You knew he’s working out these days. And this moment remind you of how much you need to work out.
“Well miss, we are going to feed your poor stomach some food because apparently the owner is misbehaving” he teased.
You groaned again at him, head shaking at his antic. “Come on! I’m not five!” You whined at him.
He chuckled like as if a kid was sputtering nonsense at him and he was just playing along. “Well, you acted like one” he said. “Let’s go, wear your shoes because I’m taking you out, my treat!”
You really do end up having a great time thanks to him. Despite you whined at your lack of effort on dressing up, that he said was fine.
“You know what? Dress up or not, you are still pretty to me” he said nonchalantly as he took a sip of his coke.
And oh god you swore on your life you almost choked on your milkshake. He really said that without a care like as if it wasn’t just made you a blushing mess.
“Are you okay?” He asked as he handed you a tissue.
You take the tissue from his hand, cleaning the little mess you made as you shook your head. “Yep! Totally! Like as if you weren’t just casually call me pretty!” You said.
Suddenly a ruffle on your head stop you in your track. Namjoon leaned closer to you before whispering in your ear, “were you shy?”
You hit his arm, playfully so he knows you weren’t some violent maniac. “I bet you are good at bars!” You said.
“Well, I clearly am” he said, hinting at the incident that happened before, before he winked at you.
You gave him a stare before you shook your head in disbelief. What a character you thought.
After some nice meals that he paid for, you both head back home. Your tummy felt rather nice after being starved for so long and then being fed with delicious meals that you countlessly thanked Namjoon for.
You both had a little chit chat here and there as you walk. He promised to help you with your essay till you finish it. Despite your protests because you know he was searching for a job and he must be busy as well, but he insists. That way, he can help you on balancing your campus life and your part time to pay your rent and your foods.
And just like he promised, he helped you on your essay. And remind you to take some breaks in between, not wanting to push you so hard to your breaking points. He had been there before, knowing how hard it must be for you.
One study session later though. It was a particular day for you. You didn’t have any class. So you spent it on your essay. Working on it in the living room. You woke up early that day, believing that if you do it early, you might finish it before the day ends.
Namjoon who was just woke up and was walking out from his room was pleasantly surprised at the sight of you, your glasses at the tip of your nose, and you sliding it up once in a while. Your eyes focused at the task before you. He watched you from his place, and yet you haven’t noticed his presence. He quietly smiled to himself, fond of the sight of you.
He finally decide to move from his hiding place and walked towards the kitchen, greeting you as he walked passed by. “Good morning, y/n” he said.
You looked up from your laptop for a second, sending him a soft smile, and a quiet “morning!”
He sat on the carpet next to you after his trip to the kitchen, eyes reading the words on your laptop. He silently slide a bowl of cereal to you. You looked at him. The close proximity caught you off guard, and you had the urge to kiss his cheek but that would totally freaked him out so you decide to give him a fond smile and a thank you his way.
He smiled back, despite still having his eyes on the screen of your laptop. “I’m gonna take a shower and then I’ll help you with it” he said as he stood up from his place to go to the bathroom.
After some time, he freshly out of the shower, was walking back towards you. You really felt like a steamed potato next to him now that he looks so fresh and smelled so good, but when you’re focused, you couldn’t bother yourself to do anything but that.
“How are you doing?” He asked, eyes focused on your figure.
“Well, I’m almost finished! Thanks to you!” You said, you gave him a quick smile, before you avert your focus back to your laptop.
He sat beside you again, just like he did before. “Well finish it, and if I think you did well, you’ll get a reward” he said.
You stopped typing. Your head turned to him. “A reward?” You asked.
He nodded cutely. And you thank god you were able to hold yourself back from kissing him. “Yes, a reward, would you like that?” He asked.
You chuckled. “Well, that’s up to on what the reward is?” You said.
“Well, I hope whatever the reward is, you would like it” he said almost shyly as he rubbed the back of his neck.
You chuckled at his behaviour. “Well Kim Namjoon, I like any kind of reward as long as it’s a good thing” you said, giving him a wink before you focus back on your essay.
An hour passed. And you finally finished it. You let out a relief sigh. After weeks of doing it, you finally finished it and you couldn’t be more proud of yourself.
“I finished it!” You exclaimed. Giving Namjoon a slight hug as your excitement got the best of you. Namjoon chuckled, seeing you were so happy give him a burst of energy.
“Okay, I’ll check it, see if you did well and you might get a reward” he said as he took your laptop into his lap.
He carefully read it, words by words. And you worried he might finish by tomorrow looking at how many the pages there are. But thankfully, he only read start from the pages that he hadn’t read before on your study sessions.
After like half an hour had passed, he put the laptop back on the table. You nervously anticipate his critics and reviews on your essay. You felt like his opinion matter so much to you, but then again, he is the student that every professor likes, of course it matters.
“So how is it?” You asked, fingers fidgeting.
Namjoon stares into you. His expression was unreadable, making you even more anxious. “Close your eyes” he said.
Your expression changed into confusion. “What? Why?” You asked.
“Well, you would only know if you did well if you close your eyes” he said with a slight smirk on his face.
You were confused. But somehow, he convinced you into doing so. And beside, you would do anything to hear his opinion by now. And so you closed your eyes.
For a few seconds, nothing happened. And you almost opened your eyes again, if it wasn’t for Namjoon told you to close your eyes still or else he will just walk away.
“Namjoon would you plea-“
Your words were cut off. Let me correct that. Your words were cut off by another pair of lips that placed a gentle kiss on yours. To say you were surprised was an understatement. But it didn’t take you long to kiss the man before you back.
You placed your arms around his neck as you reciprocate his action. He deepened the kiss even more, as his hands traveled from your cheeks to your waists, pulling you even closer. He finally brought you onto his lap, and so now you sat on his lap, as your legs were around his waist.
You both pulled away as your lungs felt like it will burst if you hadn’t. You both gasps for breath. Smile was painting both of your faces. Your forehead was touching, and your eyes were still closed.
“Was that my reward?” You asked as you slowly opened your eyes, looking at his that has opened.
He gave you another peck on the lips, earning a giggle from you. “Well, I thought about taking you on a date, but I’m just so proud of my girl” he said.
You blushed at him calling you his. And you certainly let a little giggle escape from you. Happiness fill your chest. “Am I your girl now?” You asked, eyebrow raising.
“Well, if you want to” he shrugged.
You chuckled again at his words. “We literally just made out here Namjoon, I’m sitting on your lap for god sake!” You said. “But, take me on a date and I’ll consider it” you said teasingly.
“Well, go take a shower and dress up because I’ll take you to the best date of your life” he said before he gave you another peck.
It was your graduation day. Namjoon witness everything. From how excited you were that day when you woke up in his arms, basically shaking his body to woke him up to tell him how today is finally the day you graduate. To turn the excitement to nervousness as you did your hair and makeup, feeling how real it is now.
He had to hold you from time to time, reminding you that he was there, with you, and for you. And what matter most is you, his baby, is graduating today! And he was so proud of you. And truth be told, Namjoon loving this moment.
He was by your side in your every step that day. From helping you to wore the dress with pastel colour that you bought specifically for this day to the academic dress that you wore over it. He let you held onto him as you got into your heels
He felt a sense of pride seeing you in it. He swore he felt tears in his eyes seeing you, beautiful from head to toe, making him all proud.
He can’t help but pull you into his warm chest before you both leave. His chin resting on top of your head. You silently enjoying the hug you were in, his presence bring comfort into you.
“Baby” he called. “I’m so proud of you”
You smiled against his chest. You let go of the hug to look him in the eyes. “Thank you so much, if it wasn’t you who helped me, I wouldn’t be able to do it” you said, sincerity pouring from your heart.
He ruffle your hair gently, not wanting to ruin it. He kissed the tip of your nose. “Oh no, you would still be able to do it with or without my help, my opinion into it however makes your seeing in your work more clearer, you are smart y/n, your intelligence is one of the thing I love about you” he said, voice almost barely audible if it wasn’t for the close proximity.
You playfully hit his chest. “Now this is ridiculous coming from someone who’s beyond smart!” You giggled. “Thank you for the compliments anyway!”
He looked into your eyes. “God, I love you” he said with all sincerity. His eyes soft and gentle.
Your heart melted. You gave him a soft smile. Your heart was melting and soaring at his declaration. “I love you too baby”
It was at the hall of the campus. Everyone were celebrating with their loved ones. Taking pictures of the day that will certainly will be engraved in their mind forever. You smiled at the happiness that seem to surround you.
You took pictures with your best friends, Minhyuk and Seulgi, that had helped and will always help you to go through so many ups and downs. Promise of always staying in contact were made.
You took pictures with your parents. Without them, you won’t be here probably. The proudness in their faces make your hardships feel worth if. After all, your parents’ proudness means so much to you. You hugged them both, promise to make them even prouder in the future.
You took pictures with Namjoon. Without whom you probably won’t finish your essay. You looked at his side profile before reaching in to kiss his cheek. His eyes stared right into yours, fill with love. You hugged him and promise to give him the love and support he deserves.
You were so happy you have all these people in your life.
After the ceremony ended, you all decide to part ways as your parents had to go back to their offices. Your friends had decide to spent it with their partners. And that left you with Namjoon. Not that you were complaining.
You really can’t keep your hands all to yourself. How could you when you are just so over the moon. And Namjoon can’t help but beam too. He swore he was almost happier than he was during his own graduation. Your happiness was radiating to him.
And now that leads you to this moment. He was kissing you with so much passion, you felt like he really took your soul to another dimension. His hands all over you, can’t seemingly keep his hands to himself either. You both pull away to catch some breathes.
“God y/n, I wish I can show you just how much I love you” he said.
“Well, nothing stopping you, we have the time all to ourselves” you whispered into his ear, making his hold on your body tightened. You whimpered at him, making him groaned.
“Well baby, let me just act it out how much I love you” he growled into your ear, earning a giggle from you.
And now there you both, in bed, all sweaty and out of breath, chest rising and falling, hearts full with nothing but love. You who were laying beside him, moved closer to lay your head on his naked chest, hearing how his heart beats loudly. Your arms were around him. Eyes closing, enjoying this very moment.
Namjoon’s hand reaching for the loose strands of hair around your face. He gently and carefully play with your hair, and then hug you tighter into him. The feeling of your body on him, your presence beside him, makes him feel so alive, heart is so full of love, it almost hurts.
“Y/n?” He called.
You hummed in response, not really having the energy to give him a proper response.
He felt like choking up out of sudden. His emotions overwhelming him. Feeling him tensing up under you, you immediately look at him, giving him your full undivided attention.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” You asked, concern blanketing your very being.
He shook his head as a smile made its way into his face. But he can’t help the tear that escaped from his eyes. “It’s just... I love you so much, and I’m so proud of you” he said, smiles so bright you were sure the sun was jealous.
You can’t help but smiled. If your heart was full of love, imagine how much it overflows with love now. You were literally so in love it almost hurts. “I love you too Namjoon, very” you whispered, as if trying to whisper it to his very soul.
He leaned in and gave you a kiss.
“And I’m so lucky to have you”
Thanks to
I would like to dedicate this page into showing my infinite gratitude to the people who had helped me completed and finished this essay, and had helped me to overcome the thick and thin, the ups and downs, of my university days. To you who I’m thankful for, to you who I’m always grateful for.
(1) To Professor Kim who had spared his time to oversee this essay and guided me along the way
(2) To my parents who had my back and support and love me unconditionally, my constant motivation in life, and whose support without I would be nothing
(3) My dear friends, who I always glad to have, to have my back, helped me through so many ups and downs, to cheer me up, and to be the people that always there for me
(4) And last but not least, to my love, Kim Namjoon, whose love, support, and help without, I wouldn’t be able to go through this, thank you for being there for me when I’m in the verge of giving up, because of your unconditional love and support, I’m here, your constant gentle rub on my back as you whispered sweet motivations into my ears will always be in my mind and my heart.
Summary: Being the youngest Minister is not easy, especially when it seems like the whole world is trying to go against you. Proving yourself is proven to be a difficult thing. But things had to get even more tangled when dark pasts are coming out, and truths are being unveiled
a little comfort to my broken soul - kim namjoon (bts) (oneshot)
A/n: hello everyone! I’m finally back with a fic! It’s a oneshot and featuring namjoon? Shdhdh been having a whole lot namjoon feels nowadays. This fic is basically me writing down my loneliness that i’ve been feeling for a while,,, pretty severe tbh, and yOU KNOW IM A SUCKER FOR ANGST so here it is!
Summary: Everyone knows that the Princess of Saturn is best friends with the Prince of Jupiter. The princess’ and prince’s love & thirst for knowledge was what brought them together. It’s only inevitable in everyone’s thought that they end up together. But what happened is not what it seems to be...
Genre: Angst (slowburn), fLOOF, prince!namjoon x princess!y/n
Warning: suicidal thoughts, curses, loneliness, character death, unedited, grammar mistakes, bad english
Royalty Au
You were only 7 almost 8 years old at the time. Naive? Yes. Innocent? No question. But you know that somewhere inside of you, you seek for something. Something that may be beyond your mind, and maybe anyone’s mind. Your love for books took both the Queen and King of Saturn by surprise, not expecting their daughter’s love for the book. The library seems to be the only place you constantly visit in this huge caste you called home. It only seems right for them to have a book fair to celebrate your 8th birthday.
Coincidentally, your birthday fell on the same day with the visiting of the Queen and King of Jupiter. They brought their son together with him, in hope he will befriended the daughter of Saturn, and perhaps from there, take it into the next step.
And to both side’s relief, both you and the Prince click together very well. Both falling into conversation easily. It all comes from childish banters and talks to serious and deeper conversation as you grow up. But something, something will never be able to leave your mind, not when he seems to beam so brightly like he could take on the world with his smile as he said it cheerfully,
“Hello! I’m Kim Namjoon!”
Namjoon was two years older than you. Despite that, you both are still closer than ever. Everyone, everybody, knows that both of you are inseparable. The rebellious act you both did as youngster in their youth, running away from the castle in the middle of the night to a garden not far from it, a garden you both call as the Sacred Garden. The act that causes everyone in the castle fell into panic, searching for you both whereabouts.
And now that you are 20, and Namjoon was 22. Both of you are still the best of friend. The playful banter was still there. But now, the conversation could be more deeper and more meaningful.
Namjoon was visitting your kingdom. Well, to be specific, he was on break so he visited you, knowing very well you couldn’t leave due to your school.
And there you both. In your room. You were just home from campus. Despite your status as a princess, your mom still want you to be more socially active with the public, and not to differ yourself with them. And you have no complain about it, you rather like it, and having an open minded family is more than you could ask for.
Namjoon was sitting on a beanbag that you kept for fun with a book on his hand. You kept some mundane non royal things in your room, to somehow feel more grounded. Living with all the luxuries in life possible could make any human feel rather euphoric, and you don’t like that, and Namjoon knows that. You were laying down on your bed with your phone, that thankfully the kingdom allowed, even if not for public purpose.
You puff up your cheeks, feeling rather bored with the rather calm or serene surrounding. “Namjoon~” you called.
Namjoon only hummed in response. You sighed, wanting his attention. Let me correct that, you Need his attention.
“Look at meee” you whined childishly, earning a groan from the man. “You and your goody two shoes ass always so drown in books!” you added.
He chuckled, knowing you were probably bored. But he won’t give you the satisfactory of winning, despite he knows he already lose hence his attention isn’t on his book anymore, his eyes just scanning the book carelessly.
You smirked. An idea popped off in your head. An idea to caught his attention. “I don’t get why you’re still reading the hard copy version of books!” you said. “It’s not even… eco friendly! It’s wasting plants!” you added.
Namjoon closed his book. Eyebrow raised. Arms closed. “You and your gadget won’t get the pleasure of reading the book as it is! The smell of paper and the feeling of it” he said before he stick out his tongue at you.
You scrunch your nose playfully. You got up from your bed and walk closer to him. “Yeah? The smell of trees being cut off huh?” you said with a smirk as you stand right before him. “ And you know better that I enjoy books more than anyone!” you said as you stick out your tongue at him too.
Namjoon chuckled and shook his head at the playful banter. He knew both of you meant no harm. One thing that Namjoon always admire from you is your love for the nature. How you always plant any kind of plants in every empty land possible, really avoid the use of non biodegradable products, even though you still consume some meat here and there, if anything, food is rather one of your weakness.
Namjoon stood up from his seat. Staring down at you as you were shorter than him. He smiled playfully seeing you looking up at him still with that confidence, despite your lack of height. He quietly walk closer towards you, making you walk backwards and slightly lose your composure before gaining it again.
“You and your feisty tongue, how am I your best friend again?” he chuckled. An evil smile painted in his face. You chuckled nervously, knowing what will comes next.
“You know Namjoon? You were right! Hard copy books are- WAIT!”
Before you could even continued your words, you felt your body was pushed towards the bed, fingers around your waist, tickling it. Making you giggle uncontrollably. You gasping for breathe yet you can’t find any as Namjoon keep tickling you as he giggle along with you.
“AHAHAHAH NAMJOON PLEA- AHAHAH- PLEASE STOP!” You said through your giggles. But of course Namjoon had no mercy. Not until you finally gained enough energy to hit his arm that he finally stop. Of course he knows that you were a very ticklish person.
Namjoon let out a final tired giggle as he plop down beside you. You giggled along with him. Little moments like this feel so precious to you. It makes your heart do things that you can’t explain. And yet you feel like you know what it is. But you enjoyed it.
“So, how’s your thing with Jiwon going on?” you asked in a playful tone, curiosity peaked in. You knew Namjoon had a thing for Jiwon, from the Noble House of Kwon. The Kwons are a family close to yours. A little bit of friendly rivalry going on, but it’s all good. You’re just never got too close with Jiwon though. Jiwon was a really nice girl, even perhaps, the people of Saturn might like her more than they like you, or maybe that’s what you thought. And not only that, she was really attractive, and not to mention how smart she is too. She is literally everyone’s dream.
You look at Namjoon on your side. His face beamed up, thinking about her must got him so over the moon. His smile probably could lighten a ballroom. You smiled too, knowing how happy your bestfriend was.
“I… really like her” he said shyly. You can see his face turn into reddish color like a tomato. “She’s just so amazing, and so pretty as well, I didn’t know human could be that perfect” he added.
And then he suddenly sat up straighter. Face looking right at you. Seeing him makes you sat up too on your bed.
“What? Spill it” you said, feeling nervous and yet concerned all of a sudden.
“I’m gonna ask her out” he said suddenly. You were feeling caught off guard at him. And suddenly, you felt like the room is closing in on you and yet you don’t even know why.
“Then do it! Do it Namjoon! Go get her baby boy” you teased as you pat his back.
He immediately got off your bed in rush. “See you later y/n!” he shouted as he made his way out of your room which earned a chuckle from you.
You stared back into your phone once he left the room. Eyes soullessly staring into the still beaming bright device, showing where you last read your digital book. For some reason, you can’t focus on the words on the device. Your thoughts keep coming back to one thing and one thing only. Kim Namjoon and Kwon Jiwon.
The sun almost setting. The surrounding could never be more serene. You were sitting on the green grass, enjoying the serenity. Watching the sun sets, with a cup of tea on your side. The knee length skirt you wore beautifully forming a halo around you, if anyone saw you, you would look like a goddess, and yet, you didn’t even realize that.
Until you felt a presence next to you. Your head turn towards the intruder. Eyes scrunching up a little bit at how bright the sun shone on you. “Hey, Junmyeon” you greeted. You beamed up at him. You immediately feel humbled. Fingers instinctively reaching for the loose strands and tucked it behind your ear. You smiled sweetly at him.
Junmyeon was the sweetheart of your dream. He was really your everything. Well, your everything number two after Namjoon, you had to admit. He was there for you to lend his shoulder for you to cry on, when you had your first heartbreak, because of some jerk that dated you because he had to move on from his ex only to date his ex again after your breakup despite knowing very well you’ve liked him for so long. He was there when you fought with Namjoon, to hear your rant and your worries. And it was no doubt he was an attractive man.
“Whatcha doing here y/n?” He asked as he sat beside you.
“Nothing, just enjoying the view!” You said. You can feel your heart racing and you can only hope it wasn’t loud enough for Junmyeon to hear.
Junmyeon looked ahead, and yet you were entranced by his beauty. His side view, you don’t think anyone can top this. “Yeah... it is beautiful, indeed” Junmyeon said before he turn his head towards you and smiled.
Perhaps it was the mood, perhaps it was the overwhelming feeling in your chest, and perhaps it was just you and your mind playing, but you can’t help but lean into him. Your lips kissing his, softly.
You thought, it would goes like how you always imagine. The prince of your dream kissing you back, and tell you how he felt the same, telling you that he’s been waiting for this moment to come. But this isn’t fairytale. This is life. And that moment never came.
You slowly pull away, eyes still close. A pang in your heart. You can feel the tears that start to collect underneath your lids. Your heart is broken once again. Of course he didn’t like you that way, or no, of course all this time all he ever had for you was pity. Of course.
“Y/n...” Junmyeon called, his voice shaky.
You waited for it. You waited for it to come. The worst thing. The rejection.
“I really don’t like you that way...” he said carefully.
‘There it is’ you thought. And here you thought you both had something special going on. But of course it was just you being delusional.
“I like... someone else” he added.
You swallowed the lump in your throat. The feeling of humiliation start coming in. Slowly you open your eyes, hoping the tears won’t fall. “Of- of course” you said shakily. “I’m sorry-“
“No no, it’s me who should be sorry, I shouldn’t lead you on, when I like Jiwon after all” he said. He attempt to put an arm around you, but you flinch away. Being in his arm would be the last thing you want.
“I- I should go” you said as you stood up. You immediately run from there, accidentally spilling the tea on your way.
You ran to your room. Throwing yourself onto the bed as soon as you arrived. You cried, hard, into the pillow. Of course it was Jiwon. Everybody likes Jiwon, who were you kidding?
You probably smeared the light makeup you put on, but you didn’t care. Your heart was hurt and broken once again. And this time with no one by your side, you felt so lonely. You fell deep into your own emotions. Exhausted enough to lull you into the dreamland.
Knocks on your door woke you up from the nap you were in. You sat up on the bed. Trying to collect your soul back. Remembering what had just happened pained you again but you felt like all tears had gone. All there is was dried tears on your face and smeared makeup.
“What is it?” You said a little bit louder than your usual voice, so the person behind the door could hear. You walked towards the vanity section in your room, removing the makeup that has smeared.
“You have dinner in an hour with the Queen and the King” the person behind the door said, earning a groan from you.
“The Royal Family of Jupiter would be there too” he added.
You sighed. You look into the reflection of yourself in the mirror. Even you could see the exhaustion in your face. But now, you have to face so many people.
Silently, you got ready with all the energy in you.
It was a rather private dinner. With only your parents, you, Namjoon, and his parents presented. It was a rather nice dinner, conversation with them make you forgot about Junmyeon a little bit and cheer you up definitely.
“Y/n, Namjoon, we both have something to tell you” your mom said.
You stopped eating. Fork was put down. Your eyes stare into her. And you can feel Namjoon did the same.
“Both Namjoon’s mom and dad had talk to us about this, and we agreed with them, because it’s indeed very beneficial to both of our kingdoms, and well, we both know it might be beneficial to both of you as well” your mom said, as she wiggled her eyebrows towards you both, her face beaming up. Namjoon seems confused. But you knew what this is and you can feel the horror starts creeping in, your hearts racing, your face pale. You knew very well what will happen, it happened to your sister, what makes you think that an exception will come to you?
“So... we decide to marry you off with each other!” His father announced. Your eyes immediately search for Namjoon’s.
A deep frown was in his face. His face was red, and you were too afraid to know whether it’s out of anger or anything else. God, you were too afraid to even know how your relationship now with him. You already lost someone today, you don’t want to lose another.
“You are kidding” Namjoon said as his voice fell an octave deeper. You knew he was angry. And you feel your heart breaking once again in a day. What if you lost him too.
The tension in the room was thick. You can feel it. You can even cut it with a knife. And the lump in your throat, it’s almost hurt so bad. Your anxiety kicking in. You really don’t want to be here and hurting.
“Namjoon, y/n, please just go through it, okay? At least for two years, two years and just public is all we need” his mom said, knowing the situation very well.
Namjoon swallowed down. He look at both parents. He nodded. “Two years, and just public” he said before he got up and left the room.
Your eyes followed him before your body do. You don’t even know what to say to him, and yet there you were still running for him.
“Namjoon! Namjoon! Please come back!” You screamed at him as you still run for him. And yet he never stop. The heels you run in was killing you and yet you still run. You can feel your ankle begging you to stop but you run. You don’t want to lose him.
But of course your body won. Your ankle move into wrong position, you had to twisted it and you fell. God it hurts. Of course it hurts. You can’t help but yelp in pain. Hands clutching at the ankle. You feel more pathetic than ever. Your dearest people leaving you and of course you had to have a damsel in distress moment. This is all too cliche for you and yet it happened. Tears were streaming down your face once again. You felt beyond sad, and yet, nobody seems to realize.
And then you felt a presence next to you. Hands around you. You don’t feel the energy to look up to see who it is. But his warmth, his scent, it’s all too familiar. He felt like home, but maybe he is home.
“Are you okay?” Namjoon asked. His voice full of concern. He might be angry, but you were hurting and he won’t put you last or even second.
You shook your head. Sobs escape from you. You just continue crying sadly as Namjoon make you hold him so he can carry you to your room, knowing very well you can’t walk in this state. You buried your face into his neck as you cry.
Namjoon gently laid you on your bed. Your hands immediately come to your eyes covering and rubbing them. Namjoon gently removed your hands. “Stop, you’re gonna hurt your eyes” he said.
You laid on your side. Not even bothering to check your ankle knowing very well that it’s probably swollen and now you have one elephant ankle. “I know it hurts” Namjoon said as he gently reach for your ankle.
“I’m sorry” he apologised. You were hiccuping. Hearing him apologised makes you want to curl into a ball of guilt. You hate making him feel bad.
“Namjoon...” you called weakly. “If you don’t want to go through the marriage, we can always retaliate and reason with them like a damn adult” you said. Your mind is so clouded with so many scenarios and two of them are the humiliation where Namjoon run away with probably Jiwon, and now that you think about it, that’s probably why he was so angry and that’s a sign that probably he succeed on asking her out and you should tell Junmyeon about it, Or, it will be a lonely first night for you as a bride, the worst nightmare coming true.
“It won’t work y/n, I knew they are planning something, I could see it” he said with a sigh. “It will feels weird, and our friendship will be ruined, because it’s like marrying my sister” he added.
For some reason, you felt a pang in your heart. Does marrying you... sounds that bad? Does he never see you as a woman? Why do you even care? But you stayed silent, opting to not voice your wandering thoughts.
“How’s you and... Jiwon?” You asked as you moved facing him. You can hear your voice sounding a little bit different mentioning her name, and you can only hope he won’t notice. But knowing Namjoon, he probably noticed that. But you couldn’t be more thankful as he didn’t brought it up.
Namjoon beamed at the mention of her name. His face light up, it’s like he forgot of what just happened a moment before , before frown came back as he probably remembered about the marriage. And it pained you knowing you were the source of his unhappiness. You really wanted to cry again.
“I actually succeed...” he said. “But after this-“
“Please, don’t let this marriage be in the way of your happiness Namjoon, that’ll be the last thing I want” you cut him. Your mouth talks faster than your brain can proceed. You messed up and you knew. Now, you’re just going to be a lonely soul eternally.
“You can date her, but in public, you are my- you are with me, that’s all” you said.
“It’s okay” you said. “It’s okay to date her” you added. This is it you thought. Namjoon will definitely agreed to this, if he didn’t you will convince him. This is it. Your lonely life as a bride to a man whose heart belong to someone else. It will hurts but at least, Namjoon will be content, and that’s all you need. The last thing you need is having someone’s unhappy because of you.
“What do you mean?” Namjoon asked, confusion appears in his face because he genuinely didn’t understand.
You take another deep breath. “Our marriage, it’ll be just for the public, but privately, you can date her” you explained.
Namjoon chuckled in bewilderment. “No way, big no way, I’m not an asshole of a husband to date another woman while I am tied to someone, it’s morally wrong!” He said.
“I said it’s okay right? Nothing about having to get married to your best friend is morally right either, marriage in actual need consent from both side, and we both know that doesn’t happen, so please” you said. You closed your eyes. It doesn’t even happen yet and you can feel the loneliness start seeping into your very bones and soul. “Please Namjoon, don’t let me be in the way of your happiness” you said.
You never felt so lonely and hopeless as you did in the moment despite having the dearest best friend of your life next to you. Somewhere deep inside you, you wish to God to take you there and then.
“Y/n...” Namjoon called you. You didn’t want to open your eyes. Knowing very well you’ll lose if you did. He’s always been your weakness, always.
“Please, don’t make me feel even worse for myself, you know how much I hate being a burden to anyone, please, let me lessened it in this way” you pleaded.
Namjoon could literally felt his heart broke at the sight of you. You would never be a burden to anyone. And yet it’s so clear you couldn’t see that. It’s so clear that the clouds of negativity is hovering above you, and truth be told, Namjoon didn’t know what to do this time.
“Talk it out with her, if she’s okay with it, I’m okay” you said again.
Namjoon can’t even say anything. He felt like a damn bastard for even considering your offer. You were hurting and yet he still think about your offer. He’s a man, he’s a human, and he’s weak to temptation. He didn’t want to hurt you even further. And so he slowly retreat himself from you.
And it’s like you both know what choice did he made.
Not till you heard his steps has gone further into the hallway, you sobs loudly. Crying your heart out into the pillow. Screaming into it. Pain of agony felt so unbearable at the time. “God, please just take me now” you chanted, hoping no one will hear, only you, and your demon.
2 months had passed. For some reason, Namjoon had strayed away. He still talk to you time to time, but the chemistry just isn’t there anymore. Namjoon probably didn’t know, but you were dying inside. You were just a shell of a woman.
And the day you dreaded finally come. Of course it bounds to come. The day that you’ll finally be married and live far away from the place you call home, the people you call family, and the scenery you’ll always miss. And finally you’ll step into the journey of being a lonely wife to a prince. A lonely wife to a husband whose heart wasn’t present.
A soulless marriage.
And yet, you went through it all. You went through it all with a bright smile you put on as a facade, like as if you can’t wait for the day you finally get to call your best friend your husband. You pretend like all is fine, beyond fine even.
It’s like everyone here is happy except for the bride and the groom. Well maybe perhaps except Jiwon who had to watch her boyfriend being married to someone else who’s not her and kissed her. But at least, she was spared from eternal loneliness.
It was emotionally and physically tiring. Having to pretend for hours, it was very draining to say the least. And when it was finally over, you thanked god for finally the saddest event in your life to be over. Your heels, your dress that weight several pounds, your crown, they were so heavy it’s all killing you.
After the whole ordeal finish. You all had some private family time. You said your goodbye to your parents as you will live with Namjoon at his kingdom. Now you’ll finally leave the comfort of your parents, of your home, of your people.
It was a rather silent ride to his home. Neither you nor Namjoon said a thing. And all you wanted to do was cry. This should be your honeymoon, and yet, you feel so miserable. ‘God, please make it better’ you prayed.
Your thought was broken by a hold on your hand. You looked down before looking back at Namjoon. Your eyes feel so watery and yet you don’t even know why. So many emotions coming over you and it’s all suffocating.
“I’m yours, y/n” he said, his voice was very gentle, you almost break. “I’m yours” he added.
You were confused. You totally were. What did he mean? He’s technically yours but you both know he wasn’t. “Namjoon, what do you mean?” You asked.
He just pulled you closer into him. He stares into your eyes, so deep you were overwhelmed. He sees it all. Your loneliness, your depression, literally everything. And he just wants to give you the comfort you need.
But he knows, you won’t tell him. Not in a million years. Not until your time finally run out and the bomb that is you exploded. Not till your walls break down and you finally let him back into your heart.
A month had passed. Neither Namjoon nor you had bothered to talk with each other. Things had been hectic anyway for you to even have a serious conversation. You’ve both been busy with public appearances here and there to have a serious deep talk. Your emotions both have been put aside, facing the world with a facade.
Not until you both finally got time to rest. Days off, just like anyone else. You were in the balcony that was connected to the supposedly Namjoon and yours room. Not like Namjoon sleep here anyway. And every night, it kills you just how lonely you are. You never knew how much you could despise the silence of the night. Just how dead it seems the night.
You look ahead. The view from the balcony was everything but disappointing. It faces the garden, just how you would like it if this marriage was anything but a scheme. But nevertheless, you enjoyed the view. It soothes the burning pain inside you. You saw the gardener watering the plants, and seeing people do their own things, it makes you feel a little bit more alive.
Your empty thoughts was suddenly interrupted by the intruder that doesn’t even bother to knock the door and roughly opened the door to the balcony. You immediately look back towards the intruder.
There Namjoon stands, a little bit out of breath and unsteady compared to his usually calm composure. His eyes are wide opened. He seems frantic. And this create a panic in you seeing him so distraught.
“Namjoon, what happened?” you asked, voice shaking. Hands reaching out to him, helping him steadied himself.
“It’s your parents y/n” he said, voice far from calm, it’s like the world calm had been thrown out of the window. “Their car… their car…”
“Their car what Namjoon?” you asked, tears threatening to fall from your eyes like a broken dam. You were scared to know what’s going on and you’re sure you don’t want to hear what happened next.
“Someone set a bomb on their car y/n” he said. “No survivor” he continued.
You fell to the ground. It’s like your whole world finally fell apart. The dam is broken. Tears keep falling, not knowing its end. Your cheeks are wet. Sobs keep coming out of your mouth. Namjoon at your side, pulling you into his embrace. His hand keep caressing your back while the other pulling you closer into him.
You can’t keep your head up. You were mourning. Your people were mourning. Namjoon at your side keeping you grounded. His very presence comfort you a little bit, and that’s enough. The town was so dead, and your feel wasn’t far from it. So many memories of your parents come across you, and every each one of them managed to broke your heart even more. You were hurting beyond belief. You prayed to God for some kind of remedy to your never-ending pain or if he can’t, then please just take you away. You were beyond tired.
The long ceremony finally ended. You laid on your bed in your bedroom. Tears not even coming out anymore. You felt a weight on your side but you said nothing.
“y/n…” Namjoon called as he pulled you into his embrace once again, spooning you just like how he knew it’s always been your favorite since you were little.
“Please, just talk to me okay? Tell me everything, god, I won’t even mind if you hit me, just talk to me okay?” he said gently into your ear. And yet you still say nothing.
“Y/n, I know how lonely you’ve been, and I know you won’t let me in and comfort you, but please, I lo- I care about you too much, so please, let me in, and let me comfort you” he said. “baby, please…”
Your eyes watered again. You can feel it coming. You don’t even know why you held it in again. You don’t even know why you don’t confide in him. “Namjoon, please I’m so tired, I’m so lonely, I don’t even want to live… this is all to hard” you sobs.
He hugged you even tighter, as if to let you know that he’s here, no matter what. “I want to feel loved, I want my parents back, I want… I want to be brave to feel things, because-“ you choked. “I feel so dead inside” you continued.
“So Namjoon please, even if you don’t mean it, please just… just pretend like you love me with the sincerest heart and love, love me just for tonight” you begged.
Namjoon gently turning you to make you facing him. “y/n… It’s always been you, god I know what you’re thinking but I realized…”
“I realized that what I feel for Jiwon, is nothing like what I feel for you” he continued. “It’s always been you, baby” he said. His eyes full of sincerity and that makes you want to cry harder.
“Namjoon please, don’t lie to me, I can take the truth like a big girl, so please… don’t lie to me about this… especially this” you begged. Despair fill your whole being.
“Baby look at me” he said. Your eyes can’t help but stare into him. “Y/n, it’s always been you, and will always be you” he said. “I love you” he assured.
“B-but the things with Jiwon-”
“It never happened”
“But why?” you asked, your voice small.
“Because you are you and I love you for who you are” he said. He stared into you with so much sincerity you almost got overwhelmed by it. You looked away, not wanting to fall deep into his eyes.
His lips hovering above your jaw, his eyes were closed, and you can feel his breath on you. “baby...” he called.
You looked into him. His eyes were staring right at yours. You didn’t remember whether it was him or you, but next thing you knew, his lips was on you, kissing you softly as if you were a fragile china that needed to be protected, and yet, you can feel how he tried to proves it to you that his feelings were true. And you can’t help but kiss him back. Lips enveloping each other, kissing like there’s no tomorrow.
Both of you let go to your needs of oxygen. Out of breath, but yet, despite everything, you felt like something inside you is awoke again. Slowly, you opened your eyes. His already looking back at you.
“It will take time, but I will show you just how much I love you”
It’s now been six months. Everything had gone by, and without you realizing, winter has come.
You were curling into a ball in bed. Eyes were still closed. Hand reaching to your side, searching for a certain someone. Not long after, you felt a weight crawling over you, making you smile despite being in your sleepy state.
“Hey, searching for me baby?” Namjoon whispered into your ear before he peppered your neck in kisses, slowly making his way into your face. Smile painted his face
You giggled. Your hands reaching for his face, want to bring it up towards yours. “Good morning to you too baby” you said before you reach up to him for a kiss. “Why were you up?” you asked in a playful whine tone.
“I’m sorry baby, I went to the bathroom” he said before reaching for another kiss. “Do you want to go on a date tonight?” he asked.
“Why tonight when I have a whole day for you?” you pouted.
He chuckled. “Sorry love, I have to visit somewhere later, I’m free afterwards though” he assured.
“Well, Mr. Kim, you have a lunch date with Mrs. Kim at the Palace” you said, your face were beaming so brightly. Namjoon can’t help but give you another deep kiss, what can he do? He is a man after all who will always fall for his wife’s temptation. Making said wife chuckled.
A/N: Hello! I’m back again with the 6th part of the series! Honestly, I had fun writing this part, and I hope you could enjoy this part as well? This part included a little disturbing scene (stated in warning) and I hope you guys don’t mind? ;-; anyway just like always! i hope you enjoy this part as well!
IM PREVIOUSLY SUPREXOMACIST
Summary: Being the youngest Minister is not easy, especially when it seems like the whole world is trying to go against you. Proving yourself is proven to be a difficult thing. But things had to get even more tangled when dark pasts are coming out, and truths are being unveiled
Genre: Drama, romance, fluff, angst
Warning: Age-gap (10 years), some curses, a little disturbing scene (Stalker & kidnap kind), bad english, grammar error, unedited
notes: yln = your last name, yfn = your full name
masterlist
Byun Baekhyun x Female Readers
If you’re uncomfortable with age-gap relationship, please just scroll through it
You can feel sweat trickling down your body, almost showering you with it. You can feel yourself thrashing around, and yet, you don’t see your body moving around. The illusion before you and the sensation you’re feeling is two different worlds. The illusion shows you walking, dangerously slow. And yet, you can feel your body thrashing around. Bewilderment and horror is the only emotion you can feel, the only sensation there. And yet, you somehow know you have a dangerously calm appearance. “Let me go” you whispered weakly. Somehow the energy is way too drained in you. “Please, let me go” you said, a little bit louder. You didn’t even know who you’re begging to. All you know was just you wanted to go.
Suddenly, someone appeared behind you. You can feel their tall figure towering over. And yet you can’t even move to check who was it. Whoever that is, you can feel it was a man.
“Scarlet Reapers” a deep voice said. “Don’t forget that”
“Your allegiance”
And just like that, you jolt up awake. Breaths heavy. You can’t help but pants. Eyes wide open. And just like you thought, you were drenched in sweat. Your flight or fight response were triggered. Paranoia was coming over you. You can’t help but look around. Your horror became more terrifying after you realized it wasn’t your room. You were in a bed yet it’s not yours.
“Let me out!” you screamed. You screamed for help, as loud as you can with all of the energy inside you. ‘Was it all not a dream? Was it real?’ you thought inside your head.
The door to the room was opened harshly. And came Baekhyun into your line of vision. Panic was visible in his face, concern was there too. His eyes frantically search for yours as he ran to you and sat on the bed beside you, engulfing you into a hug.
It’s a rare occasion. Where seeing Baekhyun makes you breathe in relief. The familiar face gives you a sense of comfort. A comfort that somehow felt way too familiar for you, and yet, you can’t pinpoint it. Weakly, you hug him back.
“It’s okay, I’m here, it’s all okay” he said in a gentle voice as he caresses your back, and tightening the hug.
“It was bad” you said. You can’t help but open up to him. You never trust anyone with your emotion, and yet, you have a feeling you can trust Baekhyun with it.
Baekhyun who had his face snug in your shoulder finally looked up and search for yours as he made you look him into his eyes. His eyes full of concern and yet comfort, it somehow feels like… home?
“Was it?” he whispered, loud enough for you to hear.
You can’t help but got lost in his eyes. You never realized how beautiful his eyes were. But now that they were staring right into you, you can’t help but stare. But then you realized he asked a question, and you gave him a weak nod.
He put a trail of hair behind your ear, wiping the sweats on your forehead with the sleeve of his shirt. “It’s okay, I’m here” he said as he comfort you.
“What happened?” you asked. “Where am I?” you added.
“Do you remember anything that happened before you passed out?” he asked.
You squint your eyes, a habit of yours when you tried to remember something. You remember something about reading Scarlet Reaper, when suddenly a wave of memories come to you, and yet you can’t remember it due to the overwhelming amount of it.
“I got overwhelmed by memories” you said, your voice quiet.
“Did you remember any of it?” Baekhyun asked carefully.
You shook your head. “No, it was too overwhelming, and seems like, my brain can’t handle it” you said a little solemnly. You now know that those memories are somehow a part in your life, an important one, and yet you can’t remember it, and it upsets you.
“It’s okay, take your time y/n” Baekhyun said comfortingly, as he caressed your back. He kissed your temple before he hugged you again. “It’s okay”
“Baekhyun, I know all of them are important memories that had happened in my life” you said. “And I know that somehow, you’re part of it” you added.
Hearing that, Baekhyun froze. And you can feel him tensing in your arms. “I’m not stupid, all of the comforts, and you, it’s all feel too familiar, and whatever it is, I’ll try my best to remember again, I know deep inside, that whoever you are, you were, or are an important person in my life” you said.
“So please, help me on remembering Baekhyun” you pleaded.
Baekhyun closed his eyes as he tightened the hug. It’s like he didn’t want to let you go. He closed his eyes, taking the very of you in, making sure that you’re very much real. “Of course I will, I will y/n” he said.
And there you were, in his kitchen. A warm milk in front of you. Baekhyun teased you of your childlike taste, for drinking warm milk for self comfort, but you knew he meant no harm. Which by the way, earned a scowl from you.
He told you that after you passed out, he needs to bring you to his place for safety measure, to not make anything suspicious. And he added that they had to act drunk, so people who weren’t in the team thought that you had too many. And you can’t help but shrieked, won’t it be scandalous if he brought you to his place instead of yours. He said that if you woke up in nightmares, which you did he was afraid that he won’t be there, and him staying at your place will just be more scandalous since you live in an apartment building not a house like his where it’s more private. And you understood what he meant.
You told him about your nightmares. The one that just happened and the one that happened when you were in the hospital. He nodded at that. He confirmed that it was real, he carefully confirm that not wanting to scare you off. It was scary and yet, Baekhyun’s presence comfort you, and truth be told, you were more scared of that rather than the fact you were once went through some horrible tragedy. The thought of being dependent on someone for comfort scared you. But you didn’t tell him about that of course.
As soon as you were home. It feels strange. Usually the comfort of your home is the only thing that keeps you grounded. But now with the new information you just earned, being home and alone makes you a little bit paranoid. And you don’t like that one bit. The thought of being dependent is just a big no to you.
“You get this” you said to yourself. Trying to comfort yourself. “It was the nightmare, and a little bit of past trauma, that’s just it, nothing will harm you here, it’s your home!” you rambled.
And yet, it feels like something will jump at you at the slightest chance they got. And the thought of it makes you shiver. You closed your eyes tightly. Frustration comes over you. “Whoever is in this house, an unwanted guest, please just come out wherever you are” you screamed. You were thankful to have the top floor penthouse all to yourself or else, a neighbor complain would be made.
Slowly you opened your eyes. Nothing happened. And yet you still have that lingering feeling. You wanted to take a shower and yet the thought of being naked and vulnerable just doesn’t feel right.
You sighed. You took your phone out and dialed a number.
“Mina,”
“Sign me up to martial arts class first thing in the morning”
You just really can’t sleep. All of the new information, the uneasiness, the feeling of not being in control, it’s all so overwhelming to you. You’ve change position in your bed several times, yet nothing change. Call it paranoia or anything, but the horror of being not in control of your body just like in your dream always flash right before your eyes every time you close them. It feels like as soon as you let yourself fall into the dreamland, you’ll woke up having only your conscience yet not the physic.
Your hands are itching to call the very person that you know could bring some comfort or a little bit of peace into you, and yet, you don’t want to. One, because your ego is too big and you don’t want to seem like a kid just waking up from nightmare except that maybe your nightmares were real, and two, he might be asleep and you know how tiring it could get when you are leading a country.
And yet, your action betrayed your heart. You found yourself reaching for the phone on your bedside table. Dialing the very number you knew you’re gonna regret in the morning. But you can’t help it. You were exhausted. From the moment you got back from the hospital, you haven’t had the chance to have proper rest. Your body is begging you to give it some rest. You can only sighed at that.
As soon as the other line pick up, the immediate you feel the regret.
“Hello?” Baekhyun said from the other line. Sleepiness was laced in his voice. You felt so bad. Knowing Baekhyun, he probably going to tease you about it non stop. Just because he was sweet that time, doesn’t mean he won’t tease you and make a fool out of you when he got the chance using your very weakness.
“y/n?” Baekhyun called again, waking you up from your trance. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“Uhm yes! I’m alright! It was accidental, I’m so sorry to woke you up, have a good night sir-“
“Is it about the nightmare?” he cut you off.
You fell silent. You can’t lie, you can’t bring yourself to. But here you are, blatantly lying. “Nope, absolutely no!” you said a little bit too enthusiastically than you’d like to. You mentally slapped your forehead. You knew very well Baekhyun could see through your lies. He was too observant as a person and you don’t think you like that.
“Okay, maybe it is because of that, but you know what? It’s childish, and it’s all in the past, and I know very well I’m pretty safe now, and-“
“Hey, it’s okay to be scared of it, it was a traumatic and scary event, I couldn’t blame you, I’d be shitting my pants if I were you” he said.
You chuckled. Of course he would. “You know what Baekhyun? Just go back to sleep, and I’ll go to sleep too” you said. For some reason, you had a smile on your face and you can’t erase it.
You then heard Baekhyun chuckled from the other line. You swore his chuckle sounds… adorable in your ears, but don’t tell anyone about that. “Good night, Lover” he said in a teasing tone.
You rolled your eyes. “Ugh, whatever sir” you said before hang up the call.
You sighed. You felt a little better and yet unsettled. You can’t help but fall into a deep thought. You remember screaming for the person who helped you to help your dad and yet, you can’t even remember your dad’s face. As long as you live, you only know that you live with your mother as her biggest disappointment, she said, and your dad left both of you since you were a child to marry another person. Clearly, that wasn’t the case.
You open your laptop. Deciding that the internet might answer your question. You didn’t know when was the incident happened, so obviously you can’t search for the date. So you search about bus incident, bus bombing, any incident that involved fire and bus. Not knowing the time, you got too lost into your research.
It’s been hours. Your eyes are burning, you were more than sure you had bags under your eyes, and your eyes were bloodshot red. You can feel another yawn come upon you. There were unsurprisingly so many bus incidents that involved fire. And searching for them one by one is exhausting.
Until an article took your interest. It was posted on a blog owned by someone with username called SheWhoDoJustice
“Terrorist Attack? Or A Psycho on the Loose?”
The article talked about several bus incidents, complete with photos from several scanned newspaper as it was from a long time ago. It was a pretty lengthy article, talking as detailed as possible, theories were made from concluding from the news the media reported and you think based on the owner’s own research.
A picture of a damaged bus though caught your attention. A pic that somehow rings a bell in you. And you had a feeling that the bus in the picture is the bus that was in your dream. On the bus was written “19104” on it. You thought it was probably the bus’ number.
You wrote down the details of the bus, the place where it occurred, and everything you need to dive deep into it, and then you bookmarked the site before you finally shut down your laptop.
Immediately, you dialed a number.
“Mina, I called in sick today”
You put on the simplest outfit. Outfits that doesn’t really caught anyone’s attention, so nothing flashy. Your watch on your wrist. A plain grey jacket hoodie with a white t-shirt inside it, a black colored cap, a black adidas legging, a pair of black nike air force one, and a small black backpack, enough to brought all of the things you need such as a bottle of water, some notes and pens, your wallet, phone, a power-bank, sunglasses, and some girls thing. You put on a light makeup and put your hair up. And then, you’re ready to go.
Not wanting to attract anyone’s attention, you wore the cap on. Because somewhere deep down inside, you knew if you didn’t wear one, some people would recognize you, and the thought of being on the internet could only cause shiver upon you remembering the last time you become a hot topic.
Calling in sick means you didn’t have neither Mina nor your chauffeur with you, not that you want to. Because for whatever mission you were on, you want to, or, you need to be alone. And thankfully, you went through the securities that was assigned to you just fine. And that makes you think that you really should tell them once you’ve done your thing.
You took the bus to the place you wrote down from the article. You chose the second row seat from the back near the window. As the bus took off, you enjoy the scenery that went before your eyes. It’s been so long since you can freely enjoy a scenery, something that you remind yourself you should do once it’s all over.
It took you around 2 hours bus ride to reach the destination. you gave the driver the money before you got off from the bus. Judging from the area, you discovered it was a rather countryside rather than a city.
You breathed in the fresh air. You realized that the fresh air came from how green the area was and the lack of motor transportation. The air was so fresh and it reminds you of some memory back when you were child and yet you can’t pinpoint what that is. But you paid it no mind, just wanting to enjoy the scenery for the time being.
You walked alongside the street, enjoying the fresh air and scenery for a short while. Before you finally remember why you came here again. Being here reminding you that you really need to take a vacation after you’re done.
Getting back on the mission, you start to ask around. Asking people, here and there about the town and the incident itself. Yet strangely, everyone seems to avoid the topic or avoid you when you brought up about it. You thought, perhaps they lost a a family member in the incident. So you tried to be as friendly as possible, in hope to gain their trust and make them let you in into the secret that this town held.
Back at the very capital of the country, where exactly is at your apartment. A panic Mina was seen pacing back and forth. Roughly opened the doors to every room of your apartment, screaming your name. The look of distressed was apparent in her eyes. She keep blinking the tears away, not wanting to break down now.
Her shaking hands reach down towards the phone in her pocket. Slowly bringing the device into her line of vision and dialing a number.
“S-sir?” she said into the phone, as her voice cracked.
“Miss y/l/n is not in her apartment”
Mina’s steps were quick as she walked into the president’s office. Her distressed could be felt by anyone who walk passed her. Her walk was unstable, contrast to her usually composed self. She opened the door to the office, revealing a seemingly distressed Baekhyun but she can’t really decipher it. Even if he was stressed, he definitely handling it better.
“Mina, you better have a good explanation to this” Baekhyun said, his voice dangerously low and intimidating. Different than his usual voice that oozing out his authority and dominant side.
“Sir, I really don’t. She called in sick, and I knew it was so different of her to called in sick because the y/n that I know is one stubborn ass that even in her deathbed, she would still chose work over her life” Mina explained. “So I came to her apartment, knowing something was weird, I saw her securities are all in place as it should be, and yet, she was nowhere to be seen in her apartment, I search all over the place, every nook of it, every gap, and she was… nowhere” she continued, feeling a little bit breathless.
Baekhyun fell into a deep thought. His phone continuously ringing yours and yet no answers. Every time it sent him to voicemail, he called again, and again. “Y/n… where could you be?” he mutters to himself.
Unbeknown to you, you were strolling around the area. Haven’t find out much. The thought of giving up seems so tempting, but you’ve come so far to giving up now. 2 hours long of bus ride was a pretty long ride, and it’s too early to give up.
And yet, for someone who seems so observant and quick witted, you didn’t caught the man in black outfits that continue to follow you through the dark.
After realizing where you could’ve been gone to, Baekhyun immediately ask his chauffeur and whoever he needs to do whatever they need to do to get reach of you. And yet at the same time, he didn’t want to alert the people of what’s going on. Knowing the panic it could create, and all of the questions that would come out afterwards, and every consequence. It was difficult, but it had to be done, and he put his everything to make it happened.
Because he knows. He know you could be in danger if he didn’t go to you immediately. He knows exactly the inevitable danger you could be facing on.
He only hopes they didn’t get hold of you yet. And he hopes, you were only gone to some fucking mall for all he cared, anything, but the place he thinks you were at.
A tap on shoulder caught you off guard. You immediately turn towards whoever tapped your back. Your eyes wide opened. The fear that somehow managed to put aside when you arrived, now making its come back in a very overwhelming way.
You couldn’t see the man’s eyes. He was covered in all black. He stands tall, towering over you, making you feel even smaller than you already had. He didn’t say anything. But if your intuition right, this man is just standing still looking at you. And if that doesn’t even make you feel creeped out more than you already are.
“Anything I can help you with?” you asked. Your voice was unstable, and you tried your best to hide the flaw in your voice, not wanting to let the man before you to detect the fear in you. But you knew you failed anyway. And yet the man stayed silent.
And suddenly, abruptly, he moved violently and covered your mouth with his glove covered hand, muffling your scream, his other arm was tightly wrapped around your smaller figure. He lifted you up, causing you to kicking the air, moving as many as you could, trying to let go of the man’s grasp. You keep screaming despite knowing no one will hear you anyway. The part of the area you were in was coincidentally quiet and almost empty. You gave up, letting your fate be chosen by the man.
“Y/n!” A voice shouted right at you. Your eyes shot open. You saw Baekhyun running right towards at you. Seeing him makes the fight in you come again. You thrashed around and screaming. You can feel the man tensing up. His composed composure was failing. You thrashed even harder, and you bite the man’s palm that covered your mouth. He let out a loud groan before he dropped you and run away.
Baekhyun immediately comes to your aid. He took you into his arms. Eyes frantically searching for yours. Look of relief, concern, fear, all were painted in his face.
“Y/n, are you okay? are you hurt anywhere?” he asked, eyes looking you up and down, searching for any wounds or bruises. But it all seems like a blur to you. All you can focus on is his very presence. Weakly, you put your arms around his neck. Pulling him in into an embrace. Your head comfortably snuggled into his shoulder, breathing him in. You can smell the cotton fragrance on him.
Baekhyun froze for a moment, feeling you embracing him. But he relaxed immediately, hugging you back tightly, and warmly. He closed his eyes, enjoying your presence just like you were with him He breathes in relief, knowing he was just in time. Thinking about the possibilities that could happened had he was a slight second late, makes him hug you even tighter than he already is, almost suffocating you in the process. And yet you enjoyed it. You enjoyed his warm embrace, knowing very well he keeps you grounded. He kissed your temple before he put his chin on top of your head as you snuggled into him.
A/N: Hello! It’s finally here! I know I take like LOTS of times to continue the series, and I’m really sorry for that :( Anyway I hope you guys enjoy this part!
Summary: Being the youngest Minister is not easy, especially when it seems like the whole world is trying to go against you. Proving yourself is proven to be a difficult thing. But things had to get even more tangled when dark pasts are coming out, and truths are being unveiled
Genre: Drama, romance, fluff, angst
Warning: Age-gap (10 years), some curses, bad english, grammar error, unedited
notes: yln = your last name, yfn = your full name
masterlist
Byun Baekhyun x Female Readers
If you’re uncomfortable with age-gap relationship, please just scroll through it
Bottle of pill and a glass of water were placed at the side table on your side. Your TV was on, yet it was on mute. Your eyes were focusing on your phone, trying your best not to fall asleep. The clock showed ten minutes to seven in the evening. The doctor hasn’t allow you to work just yet. Being inactive makes you feel tired, spent, and sleepy for the whole day. You decided to use the time to complete the decoration of your new apartment. Smell of jasmine and pear fragrance filling the whole apartment just enough, not too much to sickening one’s smelling sense.
Seeing the clock on your phone, you finally got up from the bed to dress up semi formally. The president for some reason want to meet you at his home at eight o’clock. If it wasn’t for the fact that it might be for serious occasion, you wouldn’t even consider it.
After putting on some light makeup to make yourself look more presentable and do your hair a little bit, you decided that it’s finally time to leave.
Unlike usual, you don’t have Mina to accompany you that day. Not wanting to make her work when you’re going to have a late meeting. So, it was just you and your chauffeur in the car. It was a serene and nice drive.
As you stepped out of the car into the comfort of Baekhyun’s home, just like yesterday, his house-makers greeted you at the entrance. What different was they come out of the house as soon as they finished greeting you, gaining a raised eyebrow from you.
As you stepped into his living room, there was everyone, who in your thought, had been called for the same reason as you.
There was the police deputy chief if you remembered his name was Jinyoung, someone who you recognized as a prosecutor, a judge that looks way too familiar yet you can’t pinpoint who was she, a lawyer that was known to be the president’s friend named Junmyeon if you remember that correctly, and of course Baekhyun himself was present. All of their eyes were on you.
“I’m so sorry for being late and making you wait” you apologized, which received a chuckle from them. “It’s okay, you’re actually just in time!” Junmyeon said to you as he pat the seat beside him, which is the only empty seat… and of course it has to be beside Baekhyun.
“Well, if it isn’t the president’s lover” the judge said, with a playful look on her face.
Too used of it at that point, you simply chuckled at the remark. “I’m sorry, I haven’t introduce myself, I’m y/n” you said, despite knowing they’re probably know that already. What surprises you was the surprises look on their faces. You might be a little bit way too observant than you would like to, but you can’t help it, not when they tried not to stare at Baekhyun in confused look.
Clearing his throat, Baekhyun decided to break the ice. “Y/n, this is Sowon from Seoul’s prosecutor office, Judge Kang Minkyung, and you probably know this is Junmyeon, and that is Jinyoung” he said as he introduced them one by one while politely pointing at them to make it clear who was he’s referring to.
You nodded in acknowledgement. Most of the people there actually look young, around your age, or a little bit older than you. You knew Jinyoung as he was your senior during university days, Sowon because recently she won a big case , Junmyeon as he was well known for being Baekhyun’s friend and a top tier lawyer, and yet somehow, you feel like you know MInkyung yet you don’t. Judging from the wrinkles that has formed on her beautiful skin, Minkyung was the oldest here.
“You guys probably already know why I called you here” Baekhyun started. “I formed a team to investigate the recent bombing tragedy” Baekhyun added, a little bit more solemnly.
You looked down. Memories of the moment it all happened come into the poor tired mind. You sighed down. You looked up, slowly looking into everyone’s faces one by one. “It’s… that serious?” you asked.
Sowon moved closer to the edge of the sofa she was sitting on, eyes on you. “You really don’t remember, do you?” she asked skeptically.
Before you could even ask what did she mean, Baekhyun and Minkyung cut in into the conversation. “Sowon, cut it down, give her time” they said something along that line, as they groaned.
“Excuse me, what do you mean?” You asked, confusion painted your face. “Do I have anything to remember?” you added.
Baekhyun had his hand rubbing at his forehead, frown was apparent in his face. “y/n” he called, caught your attention. He deeply look into your eyes, as if trying to plant assurance and search for something in you. “It’s nothing” he said with a tired smile.
You really did want to press on the matter. Not liking the situation where you don’t remember something, and yet it feels like everyone does. But you knew Baekhyun seems like he’s tired enough and just want to get into a more important matter now. And you respect that.
You pulled out some files that you had prepared beforehand, not wanting to go empty hand and not knowing into the meeting. “From the data I compiled, I realized that the method of the bombing, the bomb, the strategy, and the targets, it happened not only once but had happened so many times too in the past-“
“Hold on, how did you know how the bombing method that happened now? I thought I made a specific order to Mina to not report this to you until you finally can get back to work?” Baekhyun cut you off.
“I didn’t know you did that, which by the way is ridiculous as I can handle this, but I did my research, thank you” you said as you raised an eyebrow at him, not liking how he underestimated you, or so you thought. “And also, it was still not known whether it’s simply only one psycho that did it or a group of terrorist, because some of the proofs indicate that only one person is in the work, but yet it feels like a group that did it, and no terrorist group had claimed for it” you said.
“It was… a group of people and yet a person only” Jinyoung said, his eyes staring into nothing.
You tilt your head in confusion. If you thought this meeting couldn’t get any weirder, well it just did. “”I’m sorry, what?” you asked for clarification.
Baekhyun and Minkyung exchanged stares. You nervously looked at them. You sighed can’t take it anymore. “I thought we are a team?” you said, voice raising. The rise in your voice caught everyone’s attention. “If we are a team just like what you said, I should be able to trust you, and you trust me, and yet, there’s so many secrets among us that feels important and yet you try to hide it, because if this is how this team goes, then I’m not sure I can work with you” you said.
No one responded. Not knowing what to say. But you felt like you already said what was needed to say. You sighed. It was final you thought. You got up from your seat, “That’s it, have a good evening everyone” you said.
“Wait, please sit down” Baekhyun said, stopping you from walking away.
“With all due respect, you make me feel stupid and dumb for not knowing, and when I asked, you all just give me an ambiguous answer, that don’t really answer my question, when trust is what we need” you said, anger radiates from you.
“I know, y/n, I know, so please sit down and hear me out” Baekhyun said.
“I’ve obeyed and respect you enough sir, but if I’m being treated like this, perhaps I rather go” you retaliated.
“Sit down! and hear me out!” Baekhyun shouted, shocked everyone in the room, well, except you.
“I tried to not raise my voice, at you, I really do sir” you said, in dangerously low voice. “I tried to make you understand my point of view” you added.
Baekhyun sighed. “You’re so fucking childish you know that? We have a so much important matter to discuss, and now we’re wasting time just because you can’t keep your stupid emotions at the bay” he said.
And you felt like that was the last straw. You’re done being treated like this. “I better go than stupidly waste your time, then” you said as you stepped away from the living room.
“y/n, stay, if you don’t want to hear Baekhyun out, you have to hear me out” a voice that you recognized as Minkyung’s said, stopping you in your track.
“Why? Why do I have to hear you out?” you asked.
“Because you’re being stubborn, letting your emotion get the best of you, and it’s important to you and also the case to hear me out” she said.
You turn your back, heading into the living room, and sat at the seat you just left.
“There’s still so many things we couldn’t explain to you, but when the time comes, it will comes to you and you will understand why, but we can’t, for now at least” she said carefully, trying not to tick you off.
“The terrorist, they called themselves Scorpion” Minkyung said. “We can’t… really explain why Jinyoung said what he said, but anyway, that’s what they called themselves” she added.
“How do you know that?” You asked.
Minkyung sighed. “I know, you’re trying to get to the root of it, to the very bottom, and it’s in your instinct to do so, but when we give you an information, please just take it as it is for now, no question, unless you have an information that you gained by your own self” she said.
Really, Minkyung’s explanation doesn’t make sense in your head. But deep in your heart, you knew she meant well, you didn’t know how, but you know she meant well. You just simply sighed.
“Investigation starts tomorrow, come to the address I’ll give you tomorrow after you put your absence in, in your own respective office, I expected you to come around 10am, show your faces in your office, and then come there” he said as he dismissed all of you.
It was early when you arrived at your office, not wanting to be swarmed by the media trying to get a piece of mind. You greeted everyone with a smile. Despite being early, some people were already there, you suspect they were cycling, judging by the outfits they wore and the change of clothes they brought.
Stepping into your very own office, it feels like going back to school all over again. Where chaos now will really start. A pile of files were seen on your table, a long due paperworks probably you thought. You checked the watch that you wore, it was 7am. And so you decided to kill time by doing the works that you had left.
With a sigh, you plop down into your armchair. You open one of the file, reading every words carefully, You admit paperwork was never your favorite thing, but sometimes, situation force people into doing things don’t they? Without you realizing, you finally fall deep into your works, not paying attention to the surrounding, just you and the files.
Knock on your door waking you up from the deep concentration you were in. You can feel your brain starts to hurt at the amount of information it receives in a short span of time. “Come in” you said tiredly followed by a yawn.
Mina appeared from behind the door. A file was in her embrace. “It’s time” she said.
You immediately looked at the watch on your wrist. It was 9am now. You didn’t realize just how much time had gone as you were so focused on the job at hand. You got up from your seat and walking towards the door, when Mina gave you the file she had with her. “This is probably what you’re going to need” she said. You gave her a genuine smile. Mina is always helpful with you, and you can’t take her enogh. “Thank you so much Mina, you’re a life savior” you said.
Mina gave you a smile in return. “i will need to stay her in case anything happen” she said as she gave you a pat on the back.
“Thanks, see you later!”
It was an interesting ride, really. Everything have to go through some security procedures. An officer had to be inside the car with you. Complicated and a little bit bothersome really, but you understood the need to. You had to be blindfolded, had they not ask politely, you would tell them off. It’s called the bunker for some reason.
They took off the blindfold as soon as you arrived. You can see through the car window that this place is a huge underground basecamp or whatever that is. Lights were illuminating it, enlightened the ‘building’, replacing the lack of sun or any lights that usually came outside of the building that’s over the ground.
In amazement, you stepped out of the car, eyes scanning the whole building. The building that people thought was a myth. That people don’t know when it was build even, but looking at it, they must took their time to build it. It was so well built really. “This way, ma’am” an officer said to you as she leads the way. Had you not in amazement, you would let out a remark over your disagreement on where people’s tax had gone to.
She lead you into a room, far into this underground building. It was almost at the end of the building. She knocked gently into the door, and you wonder, would people be able to hear it because every wall and everything that’s built here seems so thick. Not long after, the door was opened, revealing what seems like a meeting room. And there was Baekhyun sitting in the middle seat. She gave him a bow before she let you in and got out from the room.
You chuckled as you took your seat near Baekhyun. “Fancy basement huh?” you asked in teasing manner.
He raised an eyebrow at you. “You called seventy million dollar underground building, a basement?” he asked in serious tone.
You rolled your eyes. “Geez, calm down grandpa, it’s a joke, if you want to be serious enough, I would complain on where people’s tax had gone to” you said in as-a-matter-of-fact tone.
He chuckled. “Fair enough” he said.
Not long after, the others came one by one. Many of them was complimenting the building, but also complaining about how bothersome the security protocols were.
“You know, I wonder why we have to go underground just to solve a bombing case, that certainly is not a confidential matter” you said. “But knowing you guys, you probably won’t tell me and get on the ‘you’ll know when you know’ bullshit” you added.
“As a matter of fact, that’s correct” Baekhyun said. “You’ll know when you know, lover” he teased.
You rolled your eyes. “Oh please, that’s like so last year” you groaned.
“And we’re still wondering whether it’s real or not” Junmyeon said, a teasing smile on his face. You groaned even louder.
“Oh come on! I don’t even know why those media did that! They’re dramatizing everything” You said followed by a sigh.
And then you saw Jinyoung and Sowon exchanging a knowing look before they look at you innocently. “Oh no, not you two” you said which earned a chuckle from them. “We said nothing y/n, nothing” Jinyoung said through his chuckle.
“Enough joking, now let’s get into it, what do you guys have on you?” Baekhyun asked as he eyeing the documents all of you brought.
You look at the documents in front of you. You read the words on the document carefully. Doing a quick scanning on what the documents are about. Some of them date to so long ago, and some of them are more recent. Just when you thought this case can’t get any more interesting. “Whoever did it, they’ve been doing it for so long” you said.
Photos were attached to each files. Photos of the scene, photos of the corpses, photo of the bomb’s debris. As you read the files, you realized the lack of survivor in this case. You frowned in wonder. “No one survived?” you asked.
And suddenly, all of them look towards each other with knowing look. And it makes you feel dumb all over again. You slowly sighed, trying not to be loud. You rolled your eyes before focusing back into the documents.
Hours of reading make any normal humans dizzy of course. You can feel your eyes burning and begging to be closed. But yet, your ambition and motivation won’t let you. Every time your fatigue almost won over you, you quickly motivate yourself to let it be open for more minutes.
Until finally, something caught your eyes. After thousands of words, hundreds of pages, finally, something caught your attention,
Summary: Being the youngest Minister is not easy, especially when it seems like the whole world is trying to go against you. Proving yourself is proven to be a difficult thing. But things had to get even more tangled when dark pasts are coming out, and truths are being unveiled
Summary: Being the youngest Minister is not easy, especially when it seems like the whole world is trying to go against you. Proving yourself is proven to be a difficult thing. But things had to get even more tangled when dark pasts are coming out, and truths are being unveiled
A/N: OHYMYGOD! IM SO SO SO SORRY FOR THE VERY LONG DUE UPDATE! I’ve seen your messages too, and THANK YOU for the loves and support! I just finished my exam early this month and I admit that perhaps I’ve been procrastinate a lot hjjh, this chapter doesn’t really involve lots of bh x reader moments, but i hope you guys enjoy it? ;-; im so sorry i havent write in so long, so im in the process of getting use to it all over again...
Genre: Drama, romance, fluff, angst
Warning: Age-gap (10 years), some curses, bad english, grammar error, unedited
notes: yln = your last name, yfn = your full name
masterlist
Byun Baekhyun x Female Readers
If you’re uncomfortable with age-gap relationship, please just scroll through it
Flashes of images went through your vision. Sounds of children crying and screaming filling your head. The heat from the fire, it feels like it’s gonna burn your skin. All of those feels so close yet so far. It goes so slow yet so fast. The images and sensation overwhelm you to no end.
And suddenly, it’s all stopped. The images of bus on fire, the children screaming, it’s like everything is just in the background and a white noise.
Instead, you saw a little girl looking around feeling helpless and devastated. You can see her screaming weakly for help. Tears were streaming down her face. Her little arms keep shaking the man beside her, trying to wake him up. She keeps asking for the man to wake up yet the man shows no sign of it. Every once in a while, she weakly screams for help to people around her, and really you tried. You tried to reach for her, yet you can’t. It’s like you weren’t even there. Desperately, you tried to reach for other people to help the poor little girl to no avail. Everyone were busy. With everything in you, you run to her. Run to her despite no moves were being made.
Until finally, you saw two hands reaching for her. Holding her and taking her away. You see her trying hard to get out of the grasp, reaching for the man that still laying still. She cried even harder. And suddenly, it’s like you were being picked up from underwater, her voice sounds clear to you. “Please help my dad! Dad! Dad!” she screams.
And suddenly, something exploded, right before your eyes. You want to scream, screaming for help. But you can’t It’s like something is blocking your voice cord from doing so. Until your visions went white and it turns to black.
A faint sound of beeping in certain type of rhythm caught your hearings. Sounds of people in rush too. And suddenly, you can feel the stiffness of your body.
You tried to move your fingers, a simple move that seems very difficult at the moment. Slowly, you opened your eyes. Blinding light of the room immediately greeting you, making you frown and closed your eyes again, trying to get used to the bright light.
The smell of some kind of chemical hit your smelling bud. You stare at your surrounding, taking it all in, trying to remember what had happened.
Suddenly the door to your room opened. Your eyes shoot at the intruder.
“Oh? You’ve wake up” Mina said to you as she entered the room.
You sighed and rubbed your eyes slowly. “What happened?” You asked, your voice hoarse and your throat feels dry.
Mina hands you a glass of water, that you gladly accept.
“You don’t remember?” Mina asked as she took a seat beside you.
“Only fragments? I can only remember the smell of gasoline and fire and the heat” you said.
“You and your impulsiveness... you were face to face with an almost death situation” Mina said while shaking her head. “You helped those kids in the bus” she added.
Slowly, the memories start coming back. Your eyes widened in realization.
“Those kids, they’re all saved right?” You said, panic starts to kicking in.
Mina held your arms, trying to calm you down. But the stare she gave you, it held so many meanings that you know so well.
“8 casualties...” Mina said, her voice getting quieter.
You froze in your bed. Despite knowing you can’t do anything about them, guilts till eating you alive, making you feel somehow responsible about it.
“Nothing you can do y/n, you tried your best, nothing you can do,” Mina explained in the most comforting way she could.
“What about the others? And the man?” You asked.
“Fortunately, they survived, some got serious burn, but most are just light wounds, the man is also alright” Mina explained. “Listen, I’m gonna tell the doctor you woke up okay?” She asked which earned a light nod from you.
The doctor came into your room with two nurses by his side. Checking up on you. Fortunately, nothing serious happened, you just inhale too much carbon monoxide and other chemicals that you don’t bother to remember. Even more fortunate, he said they can discharge you in three days if your health keep improving like the estimation.
You are just glad that you can escape this place and dive more into the job.
Suddenly you got reminded of the vision, or dream, that you saw. Something about it makes you feel distraught. Something about it makes you feel a missing part in you. Trying to ignore them, you decide to turn on your phone, diving into the internet to see what’s up and what have you missed.
As soon as the phone turned on, so many notifications came up, most of them are friends, plenty from family. Your mom missed called you once, and honestly speaking, it’s not surprising.
One message though, particularly caught your eyes. It’s the most recent one. From your mom.
“I knew there’ll always be something to be disappointed for from you” was written across the screen.
Your heart can’t help but clench. It shouldn’t bother you, it shouldn’t bother you when it had happen for so many times that you should have get used to it by now but you don’t.
You immediately come up to the internet though, wondering what makes your mom send you such message.
“Minister of Transportation and Communication is Faking Her Heroic Action?”
Was written on big sized fonts. An article that finally beat the ‘President and Minister are dating’ article.
“It was found that maybe the Minister is faking her heroic action for publicity purpose, and even, staged the whole scenario”
You can’t even believe what you’re reading with your own two eyes. Who was in their right mind and heart to write such things? 8 people died and they said it’s all a scheme?
“We hope sincerely the President will give thoughts on replacing his Minister, or perhaps, Lover”
You scoffed. You can feel the anger is one step away from crossing your limit. You felt tears are building in your eyes. You felt thankful at Mina for leaving the room at that time. You felt so ridiculed. You haven’t even work properly, yet people are already accusing you of such things. They just… haven’t seen what you capable of.
You see that the rest of article are just sub-writing that article. The comments are mostly curses and death wishes. This is one hell of a tough start for you, you’ve realized.
Mina who was just entering the room can’t help but notice the frown on your face. Gently, she took the phone from your hold. Your hands instinctively reach up for it.
“I’m not finished!” You whined at her.
“Rest, we don’t need this kind of negativity while on recovery” Mina said as she put your phone on the bedside table, a little bit further than your reach.
The knock on the door stole both of your attentions. Both of your heads shot up at it.
“A guest?” You asked.
“No one really saying anything about visiting except your family” Mina said, as she gave you a slight shrug.
Mina walked towards the door and opened it. Her eyes are furrowed in confusion. “Mr. Lee?” She called out.
“There’s a card and a basket of fruits from the President” Mr Lee said with his monotonous tone before he handed said things to Mina.
Mina muttered a small thank you before she closed the door and walked back towards you.
She handed you the card and left the basket on your bedside table.
“Who was that?” You asked while slowly opening the card.
“Oh? He was Mr. Byun’s chauffeur” Mina answered despite the lack attention from you since your eyes were already on the card.
A simple “Get well soon” was written on the card. You can’t help but scoffed and rolled your eyes. You appreciate the effort he gave though. But still, it’s a classic and textbook kind of kindness, and for some reason, it kind of annoyed you.
“I’m his minister for goddamn sake...” you muttered under your breath. Of course that was heard by Mina, which earned a chuckle from her.
You felt unfairly treated. You are still his minister no matter how many things had happened between you both in a matter of days. You should be treated with respect, and yet... he doesn’t even bother. Not that you care.
Reaching for the TV remote, you turn it on. Continuously changing the channel, nothing in particular caught your eyes. When suddenly you came across a headline.
“Minister’s Fake Heroic Action”
You scoffed. Feeling absolutely ridiculed. But you can’t lie that it’s actually caught your attention. And so you turn up the volume, curiosity picking in on what those people had to say.
What caught your attention more was the statement the president himself about to make.
“So far, we’ve been informed by the medical team that Minister y/l/n got minor injuries but thankfully nothing serious” Baekhyun said into the mic, his voice and expression was stern. “I can assure you that we will get to the bottom of this incident, together with Miss Y/l/n, we will solve this case” he added.
For some reason Baekhyun mentioning your name bring a slight smile to your day. It feels good in some way having someone to be on your side, trusting you, when it feels like the whole world doesn’t.
People was crowding the hospital’s entrance as it was the day you got discharged. Questions were asked here and there, of course all asking about what had happened in the incident. It was difficult to walk to enter your car when people keep pushing towards you to get closer, despite the securities surrounding you. After successfully entering the car, Mina kindly handled the situation, and you can’t be more thankful to her.
“Where to, Ma’am?” Your chauffeur asked.
“The president’s residence please”
His house was… well he’s a president, his house is just what you expect. A grand scale you could say, especially for someone who lives alone. Black, white, and grey are the colors that seem to decorate the house that feels more like a castle you would say. The smell of teakwood hit the smelling sense as soon as you stepped in. His housekeepers greeting whoever the guests that came to his house. A hint smell of some dishes entering your nose too, probably came from the dining room that’s not very far from the entrance. The man probably get hungry as soon as he finished work and enter the comfort of his house you thought.
“Ah, Miss y/l/n” Baekhyun said as he greeted you. “My cooks made us some foods to talk over with, would you like to eat?” He offered.
You gave him a small smile, alas not genuine. “Sure thing, Mr. Byun” you said, accepting his offer. Truth be told, you were hungry for some real food, not some bland hospital food.
You stepped into his dining room. As expected, his cook was there, greeting you with a smile. “Nice meeting you, Ma’am” his cook said. Your eyebrow raised in wonder. The image of warm homemade food come into your vision. You can’t help but gulping. You really can’t wait to devour them all. The smell of cream soup, truffle, and some other herbs filling your smelling sense.
Baekhyun who seems to notice your hunger state can’t help but chuckle. He might has some rivalry going on with you, but staring at the woman who usually keep her emotions covered and buried inside, and always seem to be calm, suddenly looking like a starve woman who hasn’t ate for years, it was an amusing sight.
“Please sit down, you can eat” Baekhyun said, with a slight tease in his tone.
You got embarrassed at the fact you can’t hide your hunger. Slight blush creeping up your cheeks. You chuckled. “I’m sorry, hospital foods were terrible” you said.
“Oh, I know very well, Miss y/l/n” Baekhyun said, his voice sounded a little bit solemn, hinting at something that you can’t pinpoint.
“So, why did you ask me to come sir?” You asked as you sit down, with Baekhyun following afterwards.
“I have something to discuss with you miss Y/l/n” He answered as he picked up his spoon. “It’s about the incident” he added.
You swallowed your food, which by the way tastes amazing, you almost moan from the taste itself, before answering him. “Don’t worry, I’ll get into it sir” you reassured.
“It’s not about that” he said as soon as you finished your sentences. Your head instantly shot up at him. He looked somewhat distressed, and you can see him trying to hide it. “I’m going to form a special team for it” he added.
His voice somewhat have this very serious tone. You knew this was a serious situation, but something in his voice, it’s like there’s something that he’s hiding from you. “With all due respect sir, I think my team back at my office can handle this well” you said carefully, tip-toeing around eggshells.
You can see his frown from your seat despite him still having his head down at his food. “Y/n, listen to me for this one and obey me, I don’t want to argue about this, we’re going to make a special team, that’s it” he said. The wrinkles on his forehead showed the distress he’s going through.
Honestly, you wanted to go against his order, knowing very well that this is something that you and your team can handle, and the fact this might be your chance to prove yourself, you won’t miss that chance. But you knew very well that he has something to hide, and honestly, for some reason you kind of pitied him.
“Right” you said simply. “So, what do you want me to do about it? Do you want me to gather people or?”
I'm sorry that you had to pass something like that (with the suho's scenario) and that i hope thate you're alright and you have my support
Dear anon, thank you very much for the concern! I really appreciate it, thank you for the support as well! Even though i’m still not completely moving on, but i’m getting there ♥️
